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Thread: Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

  1. #1846
    Pièce de Résistance Scheherazade's Avatar
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    This Forum welcomes people from all age groups as well as people from different religious and cultural backgrounds.

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    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Now for something completely different. Tiger Woods sneaks up the stairs at two in the morning, WHAM his wife hits him on the back of his head with his favourite titanium driver, what a swing. He stumbles downstairs and into his car SMASH his wife shatters his windscreen with a three iron, CRASH he hits a fire hydrant slews across the road and BASH hits a tree. She pulls him from the car and slashes him several times across the face with a Nike tee. ' Listen buster you will keep out of the rough and stick to the fairway fom now on. ' The moral being, never play away when married to someone who knows how to raise her game.

  3. #1848
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scheherazade View Post
    R e m i n d e r
    See what happens when you allow women into the club?



    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Now for something completely different. Tiger Woods sneaks up the stairs at two in the morning, WHAM his wife hits him on the back of his head with his favourite titanium driver, what a swing. He stumbles downstairs and into his car SMASH his wife shatters his windscreen with a three iron, CRASH he hits a fire hydrant slews across the road and BASH hits a tree. She pulls him from the car and slashes him several times across the face with a Nike tee. ' Listen buster you will keep out of the rough and stick to the fairway fom now on. ' The moral being, never play away when married to someone who knows how to raise her game.


    That could be how it went down.

    I don't normally care for celebrity gossip, but to see Woods actually be shown to be human and subject to human error is pretty good.

    The side question of how someone could be married to Elin and even realise other women existed, let alone be attractive, remains unanswered.

  4. #1849
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post

    The side question of how someone could be married to Elin and even realise other women existed, let alone be attractive, remains unanswered.
    Atheist, there are some things in this life that are unknowable, as Donald Rumsfeld used to say. I suspect your beloved science will never answer this one. ' there are more things in heaven and earth, Atheist, than are dreamt of in your philosophy '

  5. #1850
    Pièce de Résistance Scheherazade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    See what happens when you allow women into the club?
    I know. They just cause you get reminders and warnings from the moderators...

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  6. #1851
    Registered User Red-Headed's Avatar
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    Is this thread still about beer? In which case does anyone drink this? I am really developing a taste for it.
    docendo discimus

  7. #1852
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scheherazade View Post
    I know. They just cause you get reminders and warnings from the moderators...

    You know your nickname amongst private messengers , of course you do. Beware the THREADENDER. BRRR

  8. #1853
    Pièce de Résistance Scheherazade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    THREADENDER. BRRR
    Wha...??? You... You call me "threadender"?!?!???

    *goes to the corner to curl up into a ball and cry herself to sleep*

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  9. #1854
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red-Headed View Post
    Is this thread still about beer? In which case does anyone drink this? I am really developing a taste for it.
    You dont mean Caledonian Deuchars do you ? I believe a few Edinburghwegian undergraduates still keep the tradition alive. Listen Ginger my entymological buddy I am sure we have had a run in before. As to your original point, we gave up talking about beer after the fifth or sixshhh pint. Where's that Prendrelemick, I hope he didn't make a hash of his Dutch expedition.

  10. #1855
    Registered User Red-Headed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    You dont mean Caledonian Deuchars do you ? I believe a few Edinburghwegian undergraduates still keep the tradition alive.
    Well, it's available south of the border now.

    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Listen Ginger my entymological buddy I am sure we have had a run in before. As to your original point, we gave up talking about beer after the fifth or sixshhh pint. Where's that Prendrelemick, I hope he didn't make a hash of his Dutch expedition.
    I see. It's just that drinking beer is one of my hobbies.
    docendo discimus

  11. #1856
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red-Headed View Post
    Well, it's available south of the border now.



    I see. It's just that drinking beer is one of my hobbies.


    You mean to tell me Deuchars is available in Mexico! A bit of good Scottish advice, never, but never mix beer and literature, it is a recipe for disaster, take it from one who knows.

  12. #1857
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Atheist, there are some things in this life that are unknowable, as Donald Rumsfeld used to say.
    Great analogy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Scheherazade View Post
    I know. They just cause you get reminders and warnings from the moderators...

    Yeah, but still, if it happened at work, someone would have probably lodged a sexual harrassment suit and we'd all be wearing striped clothes!

    Quote Originally Posted by Red-Headed View Post
    I see. It's just that drinking beer is one of my hobbies.
    Can't find a more honourable hobby than that!

  13. #1858
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post



    Yeah, but still, if it happened at work, someone would have probably lodged a sexual harrassment suit and we'd all be wearing striped clothes!


    No way Atheist, Jocky may not have the X factor but I have defenitely got the squirm factor. Moderators, plural ? You mean Schez is like a big front for something far more sinister! Tell me your not a moderator Atheist, oh my God it's Mick, I knew it, I have walked right into a trap. This is a Kafkaesque moment, I want to break free
    Last edited by jocky; 12-02-2009 at 11:42 PM. Reason: YOU CANT TRUST ANYONE

  14. #1859
    Registered User Red-Headed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post


    You mean to tell me Deuchars is available in Mexico!
    No (well it might be), it's just the global warming making you think that it is Mexico.


    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    A bit of good Scottish advice, never, but never mix beer and literature, it is a recipe for disaster, take it from one who knows.
    Too late for me, I'm on several units of alcohol a day & three paperbacks a week. I just don't think I can cold turkey...

    Is it worse than mixing the hop & the vine?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Can't find a more honourable hobby than that!
    Well I might be able to, but I am usually far too busy drinking ale in the pub.
    docendo discimus

  15. #1860
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red-Headed View Post




    Too late for me, I'm on several units of alcohol a day & three paperbacks a week. I just don't think I can cold turkey...
    Aah, a troubled man, it could be the red hair! I can clearly see you are having difficulties, do you not mean several paper backs and three units of alcohol a week? My advice would be this, whether it be the metaphysical poets, the English language ( God help us all ) or Bernard Mathew's Pot Roasts the Blokes Thread is here for you.

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