Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: final ending

  1. #1
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Fremantle Western Australia
    Posts
    9,903
    Blog Entries
    62

    final ending

    How subtle to come stealing
    Through the night like a dusky shadow
    He bade me to quench his desire
    Midst the gentle withdrawal of his love

    I look where I falter and lean
    Upon doors leaking hushed voices
    to spoon feed my churning core
    How I wonder where might lie the key?

    I seek to better hear the truth
    locked behind secure distrust
    Surely, you say, my plight is vain
    It be a deceptive mirror anyway

    My inner self reflected back
    At the lonesome corner
    'See thy candle burn?'
    'Tis here my wick shall know!'

    So let me be
    Let me grieve
    in torments dancing silhouette.
    Last edited by Delta40; 11-27-2009 at 12:28 AM.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  2. #2
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Florida near Tampa Bay
    Posts
    3,015
    Oh! I read this right after your last one. It buckled me. What an amazing final image.

  3. #3
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Fremantle Western Australia
    Posts
    9,903
    Blog Entries
    62
    Thank you. Would you say this poem still retains a distinct Delta40 feel? I mean I was sedated when I wrote this and I am curious at wahhat difference it makes to the reader
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  4. #4
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Florida near Tampa Bay
    Posts
    3,015
    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    Thank you. Would you say this poem still retains a distinct Delta40 feel? I mean I was sedated when I wrote this and I am curious at wahhat difference it makes to the reader
    Most definitely I would say your voice and style were present in this. I for one loved the tone of this.

    I think some poems take us to a place similar to sedation, or some other state of perception, at least in the first draft, because of the subject matter.

    I do have a question about the language you encountered there. A fragment of it came back with you: "wahhat"

  5. #5
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mountains, SW VA
    Posts
    21,250
    Blog Entries
    133
    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post

    My inner self reflected back
    At the lonesome corner
    'See thy candle burn?'
    'Tis here my wick shall know!'

    So let me be
    Let me grieve
    in torments dancing silhouette.
    Good closure to an interesting poem
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    melbourne
    Posts
    2
    what a very touching poem what made you write this...if you dont mind me asking??

  7. #7
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Montreal, QC
    Posts
    8,746
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks to Jasper for bringing this back - as strong and moving as ever! Is in Delta40's familiar voice, Delta asked: Well, yes - in one of her several equally intelligent and passionate voices.

  8. #8
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Fremantle Western Australia
    Posts
    9,903
    Blog Entries
    62
    Thanks Jaspar. I wrote this as I moved out of the grieving process. I sought to cut ties with some persons in order to move on.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

Similar Threads

  1. Great expections ending....(spoilers)
    By XIE323 in forum Great Expectations
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-27-2019, 12:41 PM
  2. True Ending...
    By Ahera in forum Great Expectations
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-20-2008, 07:47 AM
  3. Disapointing Ending
    By ShoutGrace in forum Sense and Sensibility
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 01-16-2008, 01:05 AM
  4. Final Breath
    By Pendragon in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-02-2007, 11:02 AM
  5. "The Light That Failed" Alternate ending
    By zhiming in forum General Literature
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-19-2005, 07:15 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •