Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[jocky]

Comformation:
The country IS going to the dogs. First the Cold Ale Club is over run with females, then one turns up flying with the Red Arrows! What next? Is there any remaining bastion of maleness to retreat to?

(note to Jocky: quips about the state of her cockpit would be in very poor taste)

According to the latest intelligence forwarded to me by Wing Commander Biggles, the cockpits have never been so clean. While the pilots are overloaded with flight plans and the latest aeronautical monoevres, the lady in question had been armed to the teeth with brillo pads, mops, sick remover and rubber gloves. The one big worry seems to be if she starts talking some rogue pilot may eject her over the Grimpen Mire.

That's it!

I think that's the day I realised war was unbelievably stupid. I was about 11.

Still can't figure out why everyone else doesn't see it....



I was. I've alwys been an outcast on the fringes of society.

Strange, but true!

That is inhuman, how can anyone not be turned on by mass slaughter and human suffering ? It must have been that Strange Meeting what dun it.

Another gem from William Topaz MacGonnagal. The Tay ( a river in Scotland )

The Tay, the Tay the silvery Tay,
It runs all night and it runs all day.

Note the liberal interpretation of iambic pentameter, freestyle at its most innovative.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I certainly hope that the it wasn't the last jackalope that was eaten by our Texan friend. It hinted at a Magnum Opus of a haunch, and if it truly were the last of the breed, unshared, would be a folly. I only ever came across one of those magnificent beings in Wyoming...

Son of a Yedi!! There’s someone out there who’s familiar with the great Jackalope!
It truly is a small world and no; we Gurgles would never dream of feeding on these magnificent creatures.

My uncle heads up the West Texas Foundation for Jackalope Preservation (most folks simply say; WTF for short).
He is currently breeding the Loblolly Jackalopes (Lepus Antilocapra Pinus Taeda) and is reintroducing them into the Piney woods region of East Texas where their numbers have been dwindling due to poaching by the Conservancy. The western Jackalopes have fared much better due to their size, speed and agility. Ranchers have learned to break and saddle them for use in working their cattle. The antlers are well suited for cattle prodding.

Take a look for yourself: (look toward the bottom of the webpage)
http://www.chuckstoyland.com/potpour...e%20postcards/

Douglas Wyoming is the home of the Jackalope, but I had a haunch, you already knew that.

Prendrelemick, you might consider a Jackalope to work the sheep.

According to the latest intelligence forwarded to me by Wing Commander Biggles

Jocky,
I hold my glass up to you in a beltaed Veterans Day salute and to your near acquisition of the Victoria Cross.

[gbrekken]

I'll try follow directions and insert quotes. Didn't work. I'll take a healthy plague over war any day. Thought I'd let that cow pie plop before I continued to larger weightier matters. Conservancy still raises its ugly head-sad day, but probably universal. One smiling dancing banana properly placed, is more satisfying than four ingested. Two things-single malt and golf are both compliments of my ancestors. (Hacker with momentary lapses into brilliance describes my golf game better than my computer skills-gave my clubs to youngest son-they'll help him succeed in law school better than the computer he donated to me). Strumpets, crumpets, and trumpets, my arse. I have to go do laundry. Hate it when one's own smell awakens one and keeps one awake all day long. Cheshire cat smiles.

[prendrelemick]

Son of a Yedi!! There’s someone out there who’s familiar with the great Jackalope!
It truly is a small world and no; we Gurgles would never dream of feeding on these magnificent creatures.

My uncle heads up the West Texas Foundation for Jackalope Preservation (most folks simply say; WTF for short).
He is currently breeding the Loblolly Jackalopes (Lepus Antilocapra Pinus Taeda) and is reintroducing them into the Piney woods region of East Texas where their numbers have been dwindling due to poaching by the Conservancy. The western Jackalopes have fared much better due to their size, speed and agility. Ranchers have learned to break and saddle them for use in working their cattle. The antlers are well suited for cattle prodding.

Take a look for yourself: (look toward the bottom of the webpage)
http://www.chuckstoyland.com/potpour...e%20postcards/

Douglas Wyoming is the home of the Jackalope, but I had a haunch, you already knew that.

Prendrelemick, you might consider a Jackalope to work the sheep.


Jocky,
I hold my glass up to you in a beltaed Veterans Day salute and to your near acquisition of the Victoria Cross.

I could use a Jackalope to round up my chinchevache

I trust Athiest is celebrating/basking in the glory of his country's sucess on the soccer pitch. The All Whites have qualified for The World Cup finals for only the second time in their history. jolly good show.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I'll try follow directions and insert quotes. Didn't work... ...Cheshire cat smiles.

GBrekken,
I sent you a couple of messages to your profile page describing the quoting process. Hopefully I made some sense. By the way, I like the narrative description approach for "smilies". "Yellow hand with thumbs up".

I could use a Jackalope to round up my chinchevache

I trust Athiest is celebrating/basking in the glory of his country's sucess on the soccer pitch. The All Whites have qualified for The World Cup finals for only the second time in their history. jolly good show.

Thanks for that Chichevache reference-too funny. Wiki made a reference to the Cantebury Tales, the Clerk's Tale to be specific. Here's how my copy reads:

"O noble wives, in highest prudence bred,
Allow no such humility to nail
Your tongues, or give a scholar cause to shed
Such light on you as this astounding tale
Sheds on Griselda, patient still and kind,
Lest Chichevache engulf you like a whale."

Good luck to you Atheist and your team!
By the way, how did that playhouse turn out. Did you receive the Certificate of Occupancy from the building officials?

Gilliatt

[The Atheist]

Good luck to you Atheist and your team!
By the way, how did that playhouse turn out. Did you receive the Certificate of Occupancy from the building officials?

Gilliatt

The team got thrashed, but so did the Poms, so again it's time to thank our lucky stars that Australians are barred from the club! (males anyway)

The playhouse is being played in - very popular.

If you came to NZ, or had a week to spare, I'd be able to explain how funny the building permit question is. Short answer, due to NZ's "green" status, coupled with our dual sovereignty status, getting something as simple as a playhouse built would cost $10,000 in legal fees to get a permit.

I'm a rebel - I just didn't get one!

[jocky]

The team got thrashed, but so did the Poms, so again it's time to thank our lucky stars that Australians are barred from the club! (males anyway)

Scotland 23 Fiji 10. The mushroom dinner party strategy worked like a dream. I was going to have a go at Prend, again , but being beat 1-0 by the Brazilians is no disgrace and besides, he might remind me that getting thrashed 3-0 by Whales could be deeply embarassing and leave me all at sea. Still at least one out of two aint bad. Three defeats out of three, on the other hand, would be to difficult to contemplate.

"O noble wives, in highest prudence bred,
Allow no such humility to nail
Your tongues, or give a scholar cause to shed
Such light on you as this astounding tale
Sheds on Griselda, patient still and kind,
Lest Chichevache engulf you like a whale.

Gilliatt

Dark was the nyght as pitch, or as the cole,
And at the wyndowe out she put her hole,
And Absolon, hym fil no bet be wers,
But with his mouth he kiste her naked ers.

The joys of the English language.

[prendrelemick]

So, to round up. English teams lost to Brazil, South Africa and Aus..Aus.. Austrailia. Thats football cricket and rugby league ( I was there for that one). There are degrees of humiliation I suppose and bad as it was I thank God i'm not a scottish futba fan this morning, they played like erses.

[jocky]

There are degrees of humiliation I suppose and bad as it was I thank God i'm not a scottish futba fan this morning, they played like erses.

OUCH !

[jocky]

Guys, a hypothetical question. If you caught your missus having an affair, would you:

A. Shoot the wife.

B. Shoot the boyfriend.

C. Shoot yourself.
Or Jocky's preferred option:

D. Pour yourself a large scotch, light a cigar and invite your long standing mistress over for the weekend ?

[soundofmusic]

Guys, a hypothetical question. If you caught your missus having an affair, would you:

A. Shoot the wife.

B. Shoot the boyfriend.

C. Shoot yourself.
Or Jocky's preferred option:

D. Pour yourself a large scotch, light a cigar and invite your long standing mistress over for the weekend ?

There should be an option for shoot the boyfriend, wife and take the mistress and the scotch to hawaii

[prendrelemick]

Like the scotch idea, but not sure about letting the mistress come round. Give 'em an inch and they start measuring up for new curtains.

[soundofmusic]

Like the scotch idea, but not sure about letting the mistress come round. Give 'em an inch and they start measuring up for new curtains.

Exactly, you never let the lover near your main domain; keep them on neutral territory (as expensive as that may be)...

Okay, guys, I'm off to discuss turkey preparing...It is sad how little "space" you poor blokes get. The girls have the bathroom, living room and kitchen. You guys are pushed to the garage and outdoor grill

[gbrekken]

Guys, a hypothetical question. If you caught your missus having an affair, would you:

A. Shoot the wife.

B. Shoot the boyfriend.

C. Shoot yourself.
Or Jocky's preferred option:

D. Pour yourself a large scotch, light a cigar and invite your long standing mistress over for the weekend ?

several assumptions must be called into question. If it's your long standing/lying mistress you catch in the sack with your wife, wouldn't you pour three drinks, and give them the opportunity to struggle over the use of the only gun worth anything in that scene?

blokes get whatever space they need-not sure about the wants being met, but at least their caves are free of squeeling turkeys.

the filed of 32 is set-when do they begin play?

[prendrelemick]

Exactly, you never let the lover near your main domain; keep them on neutral territory (as expensive as that may be)...

Okay, guys, I'm off to discuss turkey preparing...It is sad how little "space" you poor blokes get. The girls have the bathroom, living room and kitchen. You guys are pushed to the garage and outdoor grill

Just leave us the shed and we're happy.