The Manufacture of a Texas Sonata

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I struggled with the decision as to where the following should be placed; here in the “General Movies, Music and Television” category or under “Short Story Sharing”. At first blush it appears as a short story, but it is in fact an informative account of what transpired yesterday pertaining to classical music. I have also attached two wonderful recordings at the end.
Never the less, I am at the mercy of the Administrators and their infinite wisdom in determining a proper home.
Respectfully submitted,
Gilliatt


Dumas; the Panhandle prodigy of the Texas high plains, scoured by eons of wind driven sand and tumbleweeds. A dusty delirium that found a foothold on the Llano Estacado. A land so vast and flat, it would certainly yield credence to Johnson and his Flat Earth Society. In Dumas you spit grit, fatten cattle, harvest cotton and as this sonata plays out, we will all learn of another insane characteristic among the “Ding Dong Daddy’s from Dumas”.

It was mid September when I rolled into Dumas (pronounced doom us) to get a truck load of superb Dumas dung. You’re most likely thinking; ah Gilliatt must be a gardener. No, you see I had heard rumors that Dumas dung makes a fine fire supplement for those long cold winter nights and now you’re asking; why does it have to be from Dumas? Well, the rumor goes on to indicate that Dumas dung is world renowned for its ability to produce beautiful flames in shades of blue and green.

I pulled off of Mainstreet veering toward a watering hole to wet my whistle. The joint was called the Dreary Beery. I sauntered in and sat down to a cold Lone Star while my truck was being loaded with prairie patties from a neighboring stock pen.
Sidled up to the bar were a few local sodbusters and cotton gin operators, “ginners” curling shots of Marillenschnaps, an Austrian apricot flavored Schnapps, followed by gin chasers.

Sitting in a dark corner was an old man with the appearance of an inebriated shaman. Following introductions with the boys at the bar, I inquired about the old man.
“Why that’s ole Jack Russell the “Terrier” he’s older than the hills”.
“Hell Billy, we ain’t got no hills round here.”
“Well he’s older than dirt anyway, and a smidgeon wiser ‘an Aristotle even with one arm tied behind his back!”
“Especially when it comes to eighteenth century classical music”, interjected one ginner.
“The Terrier taught us all bout that classical music stuff, specially bout that Motes Art feller from Australia.” “That’s Austria you dim wit” This was followed by another shot of Marillenschnaps and a round of back slapping and guffaws.

At this point the Terrier made a grumbling sound which brought an immediate, respectful silence throughout the bar. The shaman stood and began to shuffle toward me wiping a dribble of Schnapps from the corner of his mouth. Being new to these parts, I naturally grew tense. Perhaps he is coming to exorcize the intoxicating spirits from my mind?

“Cityslicker, I see you come for a truck load of our most prized commodity, but there is something I’ll share with you that is far more precious than fire Frisbees”

The dung loader popped his head into the bar to let me know the chips were about ankle deep in my truck; “jes wunderin if I should keep shovelin in more BS”.

“Yes, yes; let’s keep piling it on.”

Annoyed at the interruption, the Terrier continued: “City slicker, are you familiar with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?
“Yes, to some degree and please, you may call me Gilliatt.”
“As you wish Gilliatt, do you believe that Mozart authored all of the wonderful compositions generally attributed to the creative juices of his own mind?”
“Well, yes, that’s what I been told and taught”
“Ah ha! You see fellas? He says: that’s what I’ve been told and taught”
“A typical response from an unenlightened, city slicked mind. Well let me enlighten you my friend. Mozart couldn’t compose his way out of a paper bag! He was a sham, a lackey made famous by the plagiarizing of music born right here on the high plains surrounding Dumas.”

You can imagine the shock and bewilderment on my face at this unfolding scene ill suited to the vernacular of the region. The murmurings of an impassioned debate could be heard from the boys at the bar. I couldn’t help but pick up on the name Rousseau and something about the Franciscan monks, Master Jacques de Molay, etc. It was all so confusing.

(aside) – Clearly these people aren’t playing with a full deck. I wonder how deep the manure is. I want outta here!

“SILENCE! Silence! you numb skulls why do you continue to espouse these confounded theories; It was the Franciscan’s, no it was the Jesuits and God only knows why, but Dusty over there believes Mozart’s notoriety was propagated by a sect of underground New Age Templar Knights. And you Rowdy, why do you insist that Mozart was capable of composing his own music?”

“D--n it all, how many times have I told you Francisco Vázquez de Coronado was the genius, the ghost writer if you will, behind Mozart’s success? Remember it was Coronado who, during that futile search for Cibola, first heard and recorded the wonderful melodious music emanating from the limitless ocean of sage and yucca that lay before him on this very spot. It was a cold winter night in 1541, a blue norther with a full head of steam was bearing down on Coronado and his men as they lay drunk and entangled in the sage following a night of debauchery. Soon a stiff cold wind was passing across the leaves of the sage, grasses and yucca creating the most wonderful music to the ears of the nauseous conquistadors. Coronado immediately put quill to paper and transposed the notes, sharps, flats, rests, staccatos, etc. He was a man possessed, feverishly documenting the wind born sonatas, concerto’s, operas and requiems. Coronado’s music eventually found its way back to Salzburg Austria, falling into the hands of Johann van Beethoven. It was Johann, who had a proclivity toward manufacturing great composers (such as is own son) that took interest in a young street urchin named Mozart. Johann had Mozart copy Coronado’s music so it would appear as though it came from his own hand and the rest, as they say, is history!”

The shaman finished speaking which was followed by a moment of silence. A shameful tear could be seen trailing from the eye of Rowdy. I was dumbfounded. Thank god the dung loader stepped in at this moment to inform me there was no more BS to be had. His timing was impeccable. I slapped a Jefferson on the table, tipped my hat and bolted out of there faster than you can say allegro. Putting the pedal to the metal, I was heading south on Highway 287. Myriad convoluted thoughts and images were racing through my mind. Glancing in the rearview mirror I noticed the sky to the north was a dark slate blue color. At first I figured it must be the swarm of flies trailing behind my truck, but I suddenly realized; a blue norther! I pulled over and stepped out to allow the cold refreshing breeze blow the insanity from my mind. While standing in a moment of solitude I began to hear the sound of music growing louder from the north. At first it arrived sporadically and unstructured but soon I was able to hear the piece, complete in its inviolable beauty. It was Violin Sonata No. 35 in A Major K526.

Next year I’m heading south of Dallas, to Italy for my fire supplement. I hear tell the locals down there believe that Shakespeare was the son of a Tuscany grape farmer.

Now for some actual music:

From the violin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD0AaAqlyJo

To the fiddle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIYzNVuGGBA

Gilliatt

[yanni]

Nicely and bravely written Gilliat, but your comment ....

"Clearly these people aren’t playing with a full deck. I wonder how deep the manure is. I want outta here!"

....is rather immature and it shows.

You'll never be able to "outta here" unless you have reached solid bottom, head first. (keeping it "clear" while doing it, in Texas or Timbuktu alike).

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Nicely and bravely written Gilliat, but your comment ....

"Clearly these people aren’t playing with a full deck. I wonder how deep the manure is. I want outta here!"

....is rather immature and it shows.

You'll never be able to "outta here" unless you have reached solid bottom, head first. (keeping it "clear" while doing it, in Texas or Timbuktu alike).

Hello Yanni,

It has been a very exhaustive week of toil and I am only now finding time to respond.
Yes, I believe my “outta here” was a tad too colloquial, but I hope you can understand the momentary lapse in mature dialogue given the bizarre circumstances surrounding me at the bar.

Fortunately, I have never experienced the bottom of a steaming heap head first while attempting to maintain a clear perspective. I should think that one would be in want of goggles and a mask if they were to indulge themselves.
Your reference to Timbuktu made me realize that I left out roughly 200 years of detail between that glorious night on the Llano Estacado in 1541 to Salzburg Austria in 1763.

Coronado and the remaining conquistadors retraced their route back to Mexico. Coronado had fully intended to return to Spain and present the music to King Charles I of Spain, but he was detained by the distilled attributes of the native Agave plant. He was found dead, wasted away in Mexico City with the frozen concoction in one hand and a salt shaker in the other. In spite of his altered mental capacities, Coronado had enough forethought to send the wind born scores to his most trusted lieutenant; Miguel Cervantes. Lt. Cervantes returned to Spain in the region of S____ and gave the music to a Franciscan monk by the name of B_____ S____. BS placed the music in the sepulcher of a famous knight who hailed from the region of La Mancha.

Here the music remained until 1760, when a group of raiding Jesuits from Austria sacked the village and pilfered the knight’s sepulcher. Given the Jesuits passion for music, the discovery of the waxed sheets was a momentous occasion. The music was immediately returned to Salzburg and placed in the hands of the aforementioned manufacturer of composers.

Here is an interesting image from Wikipedia; a portrait of the young Mozart in the early stages of construction.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...s-mozart_2.jpg

Note the hand placed under the lapel. It is rumored that Mozart was in the process of copying some of the music when the painter suddenly entered the room. Mozart hastily shoved the music under his coat and remained in that position for the portrait.

Now for some music:

Piano Concerto No. 21, K 467:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNX8QH6hstQ


And here’s Coronado’s coup de grace:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUTf5qvS0Lo

[yanni]

Cityslicker,

I really enjoyed your creative piece and could not help but parallel its - freely flowing-scatological content with Mozart's own( a rarely mentioned peculiarity he allegedly developed late in life).

Goggles, mask, gin chasers, whatever, safety first by all means!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Yanni,

I'm happy that you enjoyed it, but it is history that deserves the credit. I am only the messenger.
It is funny how sometimes truth can be stranger than fiction.

Gilliatt

[yanni]

Fiction simply cannot catch up with reality's fast evolving perplexity.

(I already gave my cudos to "history")

Heh-heh!

[Musicology]

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, having just composed an opera before breakfast, having written down from memory an entire mass, and having dozens of keyboard pupils, has decided to take a short break from his amazing adventures but promises to follow this demonstration of his genius by becoming one of the greatest piano virtuosos of all time. (The fact that nobody in Vienna knew anything about these abilities during the time when Mozart actually lived there is incidental). The fact that the said Mozart never spent a day in any school in his entire life, never studied music at any school under any teacher, nor ever studied composition for even a single month in his short life must not be used to call his myth and his achievements into question. Since everyone 'knows' the European music industry and the publishing industry would never lie to us. And we all know the history of music is safely in the hands of the European aristocracy. Who fund the writing of textbooks and whose knowlege must surely be far superior to us mortals. The rest, as they say, is academic. And, has it not been 'proved' by decades of advertising that the music of Mozart increases the yields of tomato growers, and also increases the intelligence of young babies ? Every educated person knows such 'facts'.

Tangled webs are weaved in defence of the amazing and continued control of the Mozart story on our education. But the real story is simple enough. It's a story of cultural deception, cultural control, academically supported mythology and the suppression of entire chunks of musical/cultural history. These replaced by the grinning 'genius' of the Salzburgian icon we all know today. And, as for reality, well, isn't real life more boring ?

As the trailer to the film, 'Amadeus' tells us, 'Everything you've heard is true'. So that settles it, right ?

I dare to suggest a lady working behind the checkout at a supermarket knows more, usually, of culture, of history and of human nature than the aristocratic patrons of Salzburg.

Regards

Robert Newman

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...The fact that the said Mozart never spent a day in any school in his entire life, never studied music at any school under any teacher, nor ever studied composition for even a single month in his short life...

And, has it not been 'proved' by decades of advertising that the music of Mozart increases the yields of tomato growers, and also increases the intelligence of young babies ? Every educated person knows such 'facts'.

Musicology,

While I am beginning to accept the fact that Mozart was clueless regarding music and that his notoriety was entirely manufactured, albeit I am a follower of the Coronado / Cerventes / marauding Jesuits / Johann van Beethoven manufacturing process, I have to disagree with your comment regarding our puppet’s lack of schooling.

According to my sources, I am told that Mozart was home schooled during his formative years in Salzburg, by Leopold and a hermit by the name of Andiamo from Azpeitia Spain.

By the way, let me pause for a moment to mention that my sources are none other than the Terrier and Dusty, back in Dumas, whom I had recently discovered on a popular online literature based Forums.

Andiamo was a brother in the St. Maximus hermitage located in the caves formed in the cliffs just to the northwest of the city. Andiamo’s presence in the Salzburg hermitage was a result of a hermit lend lease program established between Austria and Spain. Andiamo would descend the cliffs Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings to teach the “three R’s” (Read’n, Rite’n and Rithmatic) to the homeschooled children of Salzburg and its environs. Leopold volunteered his spacious Geburtshaus for all the children to gather for their lessons.
It should be mentioned that during the latter part of the eighteenth century, homeschooling was becoming a popular alternative to the Jesuit controlled public schools of the time. Many conservatives throughout the Bible belt region of Europe had grown despondent with the secular and humanistic curriculum of the Jesuits.

We found that Coronado’s music does wonders for cotton here in Texas. It is a common sight to see amplifiers lining the edges of cotton fields out west, pumping out the wonderful tunes plagiarized by Mozart.

Gilliatt

[Musicology]

Great ! All you have to do is find people who can confirm this. LOL.

(We can all write nonsense. It's the easiest way to conceal our ignorance).

Regards

[yanni]

Hi Gilliat,

As you seem to know all about Texas and relevant vegetation, can you please advise if the famous wild "Yellow rose" still grows there?

Somewhere, somehow, subconciously, I link them with Sam Houston, aka The Raven, but I am propably wrong!

Cheers.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

“Is he still alive?... Yes; but only by a “thread”.
“I understand the kind Athenian and the Conspiracy Host dragged him up together.”
“Should we call a Priest?"
"Only if he is Eastern Orthodox”
“But the nearest one is nearly 40 Km away!”
“St. Luke is among the guild, he can pray over him”
“Yes, yes!, that should be sufficient”
(aside) “God, I hope he’s not a Jesuit!”

Great ! All you have to do is find people who can confirm this. LOL.

(We can all write nonsense. It's the easiest way to conceal our ignorance).

Regards

Ah, but as the saying goes; “ignorance is bliss” and I am languishing in mine, sipping on the fruit of the Rhine.
Content in the fact that I have nothing to neither prove nor disprove, my sources have already been found and revealed, convincing me of the irrefutable facts regarding the true origins of Mozart’s music! The gauntlet has been thrown down. I challenge you or any other conspiracy theorist who doubts the Coronado line of fabrication, to produce evidence refuting the Coronado method. I too believed it to be nonsense at first, but now I am a firm believer.

In the meantime, the wind chimes outside indicate that the wind is up, so I shall venture outside, relax in the windswept Bouteloua curtipendula “Sideoats Grama” (The Texas state grass) and sooth my bad addled brain with some plagiarized music.

Now, for those who desire the truth and thirst for more facts, my Dumas sources are eager to share many more details regarding the manifestation of Coronado’s music into Mozart’s own.

Hi Gilliat,

As you seem to know all about Texas and relevant vegetation, can you please advise if the famous wild "Yellow rose" still grows there?

Somewhere, somehow, subconciously, I link them with Sam Houston, aka The Raven, but I am propably wrong!

Cheers.

Yanni,

The yellow rose of Texas still thrives in plant form, song and in the legendary seductress Emily West. Miss West was able to distract General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna just long enough to allow the Raven to swoop down and conquer the Mexican forces at present day San Jacinto. Santa Anna was…how shall we say?... caught with his pants down. You might be interested in the biography of Sam Houston written by Marquis James.

A quote on the book liner:

“An eagle swooped down near my head, and then, soaring aloft with wildest screams, was lost in the rays of the setting sun…I knew then that a great destiny waited for me in the West” - Sam Houston recalling a turning point in his life.

But alas, we digress as these events have no direct correlation to origins of Mozart’s music.

Gilliatt

[yanni]

...never more! (Edgar AllEn Poe for Sam Houston, in case you missed it)

If you do have to quote Wikipedia, grant the poor girl her full name (E.W.Morgan) and add a few more details on her "yellow"- skin- colour whence, allegedly, the Texas "Rose".

This select "historic detail" by Wiki comes second however to the wonderfull image-in same article- of Santa Anna running about San Jacintho, allegedly, without his pants.

That's exactly how it happened, I am confident!

..and marquises should not write books and I stopped reading books alltogether anyhow!

Disclosure: Was baptised greek orthodox but as of late I have come to admire "Rome" who, as I read today btw, began admitting recollet anglican bishops who refuse to bless same sex marriage and/or accept women to their rank.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...never more! (Edgar AllEn Poe for Sam Houston, in case you missed it)

If you do have to quote Wikipedia, grant the poor girl her full name (E.W.Morgan) and add a few more details on her "yellow"- skin- colour whence, allegedly, the Texas "Rose".

This select "historic detail" by Wiki comes second however to the wonderfull image-in same article- of Santa Anna running about San Jacintho, allegedly, without his pants.

Yanni,

It is possible that we are both correct. Our Lone Star heroine’s name was Emily West but was also referred to as Emily Morgan in reference to James Morgan. The attached link to The Handbook of Texas online will explain in more detail:

http://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/o...WW/fwe41.html#

After thumbing through James’s biography, I learned how Sam Houston acquired the sobriquet; “Raven”. Houston lived among the Cherokee Indians at an early stage in his life and was given the name “Col-lon-neh” (Raven) by the Chief Ol-loo-te-ka. This is found in Chapter II; Part 5.

Now, if you will allow me to shift gears and get back on the Mozart trail, I thought you might find the following attachment interesting:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Co...expedition.jpg

If you look closely you can just make out the present day city of Amarillo. It is just below the word “APACHE” in red. Dumas is located north of Amarillo along Coronado’s return route from present day Kansas, where he had met with yet another failed attempt to find gold.

Gilliatt

[yanni]

"Lone" and "Yellow" star?

Here is something that might interest you on the subject:

Addendum "The Raven"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rejoice, friends, the end is nigh, of this Poe Announcement at least!

No Poe paper can considered finished without some reference to The Raven. For personal reasons, least of which language, I shall address it using a quiz type outline!

As 1981 Rice graduate Elizabeth Crook said "we call these war stories the 'horribler' stories, meaning 'My story is horribler than your story.' Everyone thinks he or she has the 'horriblest' story of all, but they don't. Because I do."

Sorry, Lizie, mine is!

The Raven Quiz

1. Is it true that "Kala'nu" in cherokee means The Raven whereas "Καλά.... νού" is a modern greek expression usually said for someone with bird-like mental capabilities? (A slow, up and down, head nod usually accompanies "Καλά.... νού" or, conditions allowing, the head may rest on the speakers's palm, Rodin's "thinker" like)
2. Why do people insist calling Edgar "Allan" Poe?
3. Why did the US congress decide, 1901, to buy the Ellis & Allan trading Co archive?
4. Is it true that Frances "Allan", Edgar's mother, died a month or so after Kala'nu's marriage to John Allen's daughter Eliza at Allenwood, Gallatin, Tennessee?
5. Is it true that another Allenwood existed in Monmouth Co, New Jersey, so named after a famous filibustering captain Sam Allen?
6. Is it true that John "Allan", Edgar's foster father and John Allen, Andrew Jackson's top lieutenant were one and the same person?
7. Is it true that there was "another" captain John Allen (Kirby) and "yet another" captain John "M." Allen (with a brother "Augustus C.", the two known as Houston town founders), all enlisted in the "Texas navy"?
8. Is it true that "peripatetic lawyer, filibusterer and land speculator" John Allen and his brother congressman Robert had their family bibles printed by Matthew Carey in Baltimore, 1808-9?
9. Is it true that Sam Houston and Galveston's first mayor, John M.Allen, were at eachother's troats 1842-1843?
10. Is it true that Sam Houston let go of Texas (having done the same to "his" wise Cherokees earlier) 1844 and that The Raven was first published immediately after?

If your answer to all the above is "Yes" and if your eyeballs have not been pecked off yet, dear reader, you should then be able to interpret Edgar's "The Raven".

Cheers!

Emily West and the other "artisans", btw, were most propably previously employed at a "certain" Allen "establishment" in New York.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Brilliant!, but where did you come up with that!? I am particularly amused at the imagery created by item 1. Your quiz has forced me to brew up another pot of joe; this is gunna take all week’in to figg’r out. It smells of another conspiratorial manufacturing process, perhaps a concerto? Or better yet-dueling banjos (Mozart versus the Raven):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzae_...eature=related

Notice the gas pump attendant doing a jig at about 3:00 min in. He has a striking resemblance to the dung loader back in Dumas.

Speaking of Dumas, here’s another “dropping” in the Mozart prairie of evidence. The following link includes an excerpt regarding the St. Maximus hermitage mentioned earlier in the thread.

http://austriaroadways.blogspot.com/...-probably.html

As mentioned previously, it was from this hermitage that Andiamo would descend to educate Mozart along with the other children, thus refuting the claim that Mozart was not educated.

By the way, I was chatting with the shaman last night and he mentioned that the bar received their typical monthly shipment of Marillenschnaps from Salzburg, but this time the order included a box of Mozartkugel chocolates. Brings to mind, the adage; “life is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re going to get” – kind of like this thread!

Gilliatt