The Benefits of Celibacy and Chastity

[The Atheist]

I was chaste by choice before my marriage anyway actually, though I can certainly see how my comments may have brought you to the idea that I am speaking strictly out of trauma, which to some degree, you may be right. I have no problem with sex within marriage, with one person. Knock yourself out. But some people tend to take it to the opposite extreme with no regard for loyalty or love and as DH Lawrence discusses to be taken with the same kind of importance as one would attribute to a mild mannered conversation between two people. That it certainly is not and I believe that if we valued our own masculinity, femininity, and merit as a human being we would not be so quick to give ourselves away to more than one person, with of course the exception being death or much merited divorce.

For me, the trouble is that if safe sex is practiced, there doesn't really seem to be a valid downside in number of acts or partners. All of the troubles appear to stem from abuse or upbringings which cause sexual repression. Societies with open attitudes to sex appear to be the most well-adjusted ones. We can't say for certain that relationship is causal, but it looks a lot like it.

And to bring us back to the point, this man began this trip of insanity bit by bit, piece by piece, starting with mild porn and masturbation and over the space of twenty years went down from there.

I just don't see that as typical, and we have pretty strong evidence that the rise of porn has actually led to a reduction in sex crime, so it goes against a wealth of hard data to believe that porn exposure is a gateway to perversion.

There are actually more traumatic events than that in my life but they hardly pertain to the subject at hand. I am writing an autobiography at the request of a doctor of psychology.

I fear that was a long response, but heck, you asked.

Thanks.

I'm blown away by it. No doubt you're a survivor, though!

For once I actually agree wholeheartedly with the Atheist.

Woohoo!

We break new ground every day.

I somehow doubt that there is little if any evidence of a medical benefit of abstinence from sex. The suggestion of an intellectual or creative worth is completely undermined by the facts.

Well said!

(You didn't mention Salvador Dali, but he was a wanker.)

(I know many older wives with carpel tunnel syndrome)

Brilliant!

[soundofmusic]

I remain a great advocate of romantic love; I just haven't found that being with "the love of ones life" or "the lust of ones life" insures an orgasmic relationship. No matter how much some one loves you, the bedroom becomes a "black hole" of memories of bad relationships, religious fanaticism, passive-aggressive behavior, and some people just don't really like sex. I remember, when I was a young girl; my mother constantly warned, "all men want a woman for is one thing" and I often replied, "Show me one". Apparently, while my mother and sister had men who constantly wanted to take them to bed; all of my male friends wanted to take me home to meet their mothers (even my gay male friends).

[Zee.]

we're meant to have sex.



denying "nature" because society may think you're a whore is the dumbest thing i've ever heard.


seriously - if you're not get any, you're probably in the top 10% of people trying to reassure themselves that sex isn't beneficial.

[isidro]

I do agree with Limajean and always love soundofmusic commentary. LImajean, I have to add, just out of humor really, that I was getting far more sex than I ever wanted and it drove me to celibacy. That would be a joke.

Thank you, dear Atheist, for the compliment of being a survivor. I try.

The safe sex versus multiple partners question I would have to say that you are right provided that human beings have no emotions. If we are robots, you are dead on.

To some people, yes, I am sure the cold wrinkled pages of a Playboy can bring ecstasy and thus less desire for rape. However, being quite well versed in the subject of sex offenders for obvious reasons, there is not a criminal of that line behind bars that didn't start with something smaller. Keep it in line with honestly felt romantic love and there are much fewer obstacles.

[The Atheist]

I do agree with Limajean and always love soundofmusic commentary. LImajean, I have to add, just out of humor really, that I was getting far more sex than I ever wanted and it drove me to celibacy. That would be a joke.

*^%^###

Words fail me.

I can't describe how humble I feel to even be conversing with someone so amazingly together to be able to make that joke, and I know a few abuse survivors.

I salute you.

The safe sex versus multiple partners question I would have to say that you are right provided that human beings have no emotions. If we are robots, you are dead on.

I dunno, and I speak as an ex-hedonist of quite major reputation!

Lust is a powerful emotion, and given full rein, can be amazingly satisfying for its own sake.

Eating fillet steak is a good analogy. (this is Orwell's argument, of course. )

I eat steak for the pure pleasure of eating it. Sex needn't be any different.

To some people, yes, I am sure the cold wrinkled pages of a Playboy can bring ecstasy and thus less desire for rape. However, being quite well versed in the subject of sex offenders for obvious reasons, there is not a criminal of that line behind bars that didn't start with something smaller. Keep it in line with honestly felt romantic love and there are much fewer obstacles.

I don't doubt you at all, but the porn they sought didn't make them that way.

Most men have seen or view pornographic images, but it doesn't make them want to view ever-more-deviant images. If that were the case, the world would be an entire race of sexual perverts already. Perverts are attracted to print/electronic porn, and the rash of paedophile porn and video/photo sales brought about by the internet is a classic example. The porn is an outlet for paedophiles, but the porn itself doesn't create paedophiles.

I gather your abuse wasn't as a child, but the premise is the same - the perverts seek out what's available, they aren't created by it. Abuse creates abusers, but porno doesn't appear to.

That presumes that people viewing are of legal age, etc. I believe viewing porno as a kid would be so akin to sexual abuse that that's how I'd refer to it anyway.

[MarkBastable]

To some people, yes, I am sure the cold wrinkled pages of a Playboy can bring ecstasy and thus less desire for rape. However, being quite well versed in the subject of sex offenders for obvious reasons, there is not a criminal of that line behind bars that didn't start with something smaller.

I agree with Atheist. This is a false corollary. Most rapists use porn - but that's because most men use porn. It's not the porn that characterises or creates the rapist.

Similarly, most bank robbers use cars. But that doesn't mean that the using a car tends to make you a bank robber.

Fred West - who abused, murdered and mutilated many children - maintained a considerable collection of videos that contained no porn at all, but was well-stocked with Disney classics. Much as I hate Disney, I don't think it was Snow White that made Fred what he was.

[soundofmusic]

Thank you, Atheist, you are always brilliant! Why are you an ex-hedonist? Isn't it sad that we adults have to be plagued with the concept of safe sex? I just can't quite decide where the whole thing ends. Do we wait the 2 or 3 weeks for a golden-haired youth to get tested before engaging in the experience of ecstacy? And just where do we stop with the prophylactics: do we place them on every erect and inverted surface?
Porn, I don't know, Ted Bundy claimed it turned him into a sex/killer. I tend to agree with MarkBastable; such things only facilitate an already depraved mind. My only difficulty with porn is that it is a bit limited. My neighbor suggested that I "expand my world" by looking at some of his videos; they all had people playing with vegetables (I guess he was a veganophile). I saw some with lone males, they were all starving, or short, or very hairy, sometimes I think their appendages were photoshopped (they didn't quite match the hand/foot ratio). I suppose the only way porn would have assisted my experiences is with someone I didn't want to have sex with; or if I was trying to turn a tickle into an itch.

[isidro]

What I mean by that is that it is often a natural tendency that people do not realize they have until it is too late and that they feed it by porn. Personally, I just don't dig the whole porn thing in general, and would rather be single than with a guy who did. It tends to give people unrealistic ideas about what a woman's body should look like. While I am a gym rat and have not much to fear on that account I do realize that it destroys female self esteem. A dear friend of mine was an exotic dancer for several years to support her kids and husband, so again, I am a bit well versed in that. And I see family members starting with porn and going into affairs that destroy their marriages and their children. I suppose that is why I am so dead against it. And for goodness sake, why take the risk of that kind of outcome if you can get a loving relationship?

Yes, I agree, Atheist is quite intelligent. Actually, after being smashed on the freeway one of my favorite jokes when I don't want to do something is "I'd rather be hit by a semi." It's rather hilarious to watch people go pallid at that comment. Ha!

The accident was Valentines Day 2007 and I was about 24-25 when the abuse was taking place. It had been going on from before but didn't hit seizure until then.

[Pendragon]

Classic, I apologize but I must discontinue the debate. Actually it is debatable, as there are thousands of scientists and others who debate it and the facts. I may have stated some things wrong, termed grey matter when it was another part of the brain and so forth. I am only presenting, inadequately, that other scientists also say that semen is resorbed, etc. This comes from scientists but everything is debatable, as is proven by the fact that they are being debated. If you are interested or if you have time, read some of Bernard's writing which I linked. I am sorry but I am not able to continue the debate with you. I have learned about myself that I find it very unenjoyable, and that trying to establish dominance, really, in any form, is not what I should be doing with my life.

You know, not to be tedious, but you did never answer the rather easy to comprehend questions put to you by Classic. This shows either a "We aren't going to discuss that" attitude, or perhaps guilt is bothering you.

Mayhap you could at least answer the question put to you so clearly?

[Three Sparrows]

What happened to this discussion?!!!!! Its supposed to be thread about the 'Benefits of Celibacy and Chastity' not some chat about body parts and private life. Haven't you people any pride, or at the very least decency? I check out this thread out of curiosity as to what people think on a certain subject, only to find this disgusting conversation going on. If you want to broadcast the condition of your love life, please, please! Don't do it on the Religion section of a literature website! If you are so desperate, talk to your spouse, not the world.
I can't believe this...

[Scheherazade]

From the OP:

Have any of you studied about the physiological and other benefits of celibacy and chastity? For me it is also connected with vegetarianism and avoidance of intoxication, which have somewhat similar benefits..

Let us return to the discussion of the topic at hand and save the off-topic posts for the Live Chat thread.

[MANICHAEAN]

Damm Right Scheherazade. Lets get this back on track.

In Hermann Hesse's "Demian", Sinclair gets no sexual pleasure as a result of his discipleship with Demian (the barely concealed allusion to the Prince of Cherubim). His abstinence from the pleasures of the flesh. Was this a major factor in his path to perdition?

Contributions from the Lit Net College of Cardinals welcomed!

[isidro]

I was attempting to defend chastity here!

[Silas Thorne]

Indian wrestlers and some internal Chinese martial artists believe that there are some unique benefits gained by a long period without sex of any kind (which includes masturbation). I think they believe there is some loss of masculine energy, which can be stored up by a long period without it. I remember once reading a book on Indian wrestlers, called 'The Wrestler's Body' way back when about this.

I don't really believe in this, but anyway, too much of a good thing can be very draining.

[soundofmusic]

Indian wrestlers and some internal Chinese martial artists believe that there are some unique benefits gained by a long period without sex of any kind (which includes masturbation). I think they believe there is some loss of masculine energy, which can be stored up by a long period without it.

It is a common thought that men gain strength by avoiding all sexual stimulation; but, as we all know, nocturnal emissions occur regardless.