Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[jocky]

One must endeavour to keep a dignified air at all times.

See you Sheffies you have nerves of steel, I once knew a guy from Sheffield he was a fellow soldier, his name was Phil I dont suppose you know him do you? Apparently he moved to a Kibbutz in Israel. I hope I spelled Kibbutz correctly, judging by my short experience on Lit Net, it is the spelling mistakes that do you in. According to my calculations, based on the Gregorian Calender, you should be well pissed by now.

[LitNetIsGreat]

See you Sheffies you have nerves of steel, I once knew a guy from Sheffield he was a fellow soldier, his name was Phil I dont suppose you know him do you? Apparently he moved to a Kibbutz in Israel. I hope I spelled Kibbutz correctly, judging by my short experience on Lit Net, it is the spelling mistakes that do you in. According to my calculations, based on the Gregorian Calender, you should be well pissed by now.

Oh yes old Phil, tallish, has a way with the ladies I know him. No, I am not "pissed" (really, how undignified - such vulgar terminology, tut, tut) I actually had a coffee after my thirst had been quenched. Seeing as I am on holiday at the moment, or at least off work, I have taken to two "first" drinks of the day. One in the afternoon and one at night, that way I get to experience the thrill twice!

This afternoon for example, around 4ish I quaffed a nice wheat beer in town and as I had not had any dinner it really hit the spot. I then went to this little pub I know that has a pizza oven on the premises and stuffed myself with a lovely 12" "Versuvio" pizza and cold beer, all in a dignified stuffing of course.

Several hours later I was able experience the rush of the first drink again, followed by a second, and then a coffee. That's class!

You see you could learn something here. You Scots simply smash the Tennents or Special Brew (or whisky) for breakfast and don't look back.

For Example when I was on a short break the other day there was an old Scottish guy who was at the bar in the hotel when I was getting a drink. He was in his late 60s with a MASSIVE party of Scots, everywhere. He stood at the bar and ordered a load of spirits but was too far gone to remember what he was ordering. He asked for a triple whisky and coke, triple! and several other drinks and then said serve this lad (me) while he was trying to remember what he wanted.

When I had got my drink the guy ordered loads more spirits and walked off. He must have downed them in about 5 minutes, I guess they weren't all his but who knows, and he was back for more. The manager served him this time and reminded him that he had to be up for breakfast (I got the impression that he had stayed there before) and he said no problem etc, downed another couple and went off upstairs. He had been drinking for ages, all night.

Well, the next morning he was up bright as anything chatting away, eating his breakfast with no problems at all, I couldn't believe it. I suppose that is the Scottish way, he must have been used to it. Mad.

[jocky]

Oh yes old Phil, tallish, has a way with the ladies I know him. No, I am not "pissed" (really, how undignified - such vulgar terminology, tut, tut) I actually had a coffee after my thirst had been quenched. Seeing as I am on holiday at the moment, or at least off work, I have taken to two "first" drinks of the day. One in the afternoon and one at night, that way I get to experience the thrill twice!

This afternoon for example, around 4ish I quaffed a nice wheat beer in town and as I had not had any dinner it really hit the spot. I then went to this little pub I know that has a pizza oven on the premises and stuffed myself with a lovely 12" "Versuvio" pizza and cold beer, all in a dignified stuffing of course.

Several hours later I was able experience the rush of the first drink again, followed by a second, and then a coffee. That's class!

You see you could learn something here. You Scots simply smash the Tennents or Special Brew (or whisky) for breakfast and don't look back.

For Example when I was on a short break the other day there was an old Scottish guy who was at the bar in the hotel when I was getting a drink. He was in his late 60s with a MASSIVE party of Scots, everywhere. He stood at the bar and ordered a load of spirits but was too far gone to remember what he was ordering. He asked for a triple whisky and coke, triple! and several other drinks and then said serve this lad (me) while he was trying to remember what he wanted.

When I had got my drink the guy ordered loads more spirits and walked off. He must have downed them in about 5 minutes, I guess they weren't all his but who knows, and he was back for more. The manager served him this time and reminded him that he had to be up for breakfast (I got the impression that he had stayed there before) and he said no problem etc, downed another couple and went off upstairs. He had been drinking for ages, all night.

Well, the next morning he was up bright as anything chatting away, eating his breakfast with no problems at all, I couldn't believe it. I suppose that is the Scottish way, he must have been used to it. Mad.

Neely, there is no arguing with you mate. It wasnt so much what you said, but your ability to spell tennents correctly. Have I met you before? I have this strange feeling I cant shake off...... I knew it, you are Phil, the signs were all there, tall, dark and a way with the women, and you are still due me fifty quid. Pay up immediately or I will spill the goods on you, remember that time with Phil Oakay, Oh, I get it, its a Phil club! There you go, there is no such thing as coincidence on Lit, Net. Just give me a tenner and we will call it quits.

[The Atheist]

Just give me a tenner and we will call it quits.

A tenner? Jesus you're cheap!

[LitNetIsGreat]

A tenner? Jesus you're cheap!

Yes, but that will see him right for two four packs of Tennents super strength lager from Angry Mac's Beer Off.

On today's menu is a short bike ride, 20 mile or so (really it is just to help my brother train) then having worked up a thirst I know this wonderful country pub with brilliant views, good ale and cheap but decent food. Having burned off a lot of calories and tuned my appetite, I can then eat and drink with no worries. Read and learn.

[prendrelemick]

Scotland 0 -Norway 4

Don't you just love those-slapstick-slipping on banana skin-custard pie in face-treading on garden rake- type comedy shows.?

[The Atheist]

And so many of them involve sports teams from Britain.

[jocky]

Yes, but that will see him right for two four packs of Tennents super strength lager from Angry Mac's Beer Off.

Couple of tiny misconceptions there Neely. There is no such thing as Tennents super strengh lager and I always get my carry oot from Accommodating Mary's Mild Mannered Hostelry.

Scotland 0 -Norway 4

Don't you just love those-slapstick-slipping on banana skin-custard pie in face-treading on garden rake- type comedy shows.?

Jocky will retain a dignified silence on our latest national humiliation. Suffice, it to say that if you lose the Ashes, life may become particularly unbearable for you on this thread.

[Nightshade]

Ashes, ashes about that, ccan anyone explain criccket to me?
and while we are at it why is golf supposed to be intresting? To watch that is, I get how playing it is intrsting but why watch it?

[jocky]

And so many of them involve sports teams from Britain.

Athiest, do I detect a note of , what I can only describe as a smug satisfaction in your post? Just because the New Zealand rugby team win everything in sight dont get too bold. A Gunboat is on its way as we speak, never underestimate the British Empire.

Ashes, ashes about that, ccan anyone explain criccket to me?
and while we are at it why is golf supposed to be intresting? To watch that is, I get how playing it is intrsting but why watch it?

Sorry Nightshade, I cannot talk at the moment as I am busy watching the U.S.P.G.A. In my experience women have always been confused, shoes, handbags, MEN, need I go on?

A tenner? Jesus you're cheap!

You should see what I have done for a fiver. Its enough to make your hair curl, that is if you have got any left. I will match any donation that Prendrelemick makes, but I dont trust him and need to see a reciept.

[kilted exile]

Scotland 0 -Norway 4

Don't you just love those-slapstick-slipping on banana skin-custard pie in face-treading on garden rake- type comedy shows.?

nah I'm far more entertained by the never ending tragedies involving penalty shoot outs against germany & Argentina

[Nightshade]

Sorry Nightshade, I cannot talk at the moment as I am busy watching the U.S.P.G.A. In my experience women have always been confused, shoes, handbags, MEN, need I go on?

Pooh sticks as the old bear said, Ive proven you right because I am utterly confused by that statement. why have you capitalised men? Wait are yo saying men are confusing? because they/you arent really, you just have a tendancy to do bizzare things.
I even proved a steryotype about men true during the nightmare group project of the second year, I ened up locking my group ( all male except for me ) into a room with £25 worth of food and drink ( and I think home made biscuits and brownies) for 3 hours and that was the only afternoon I actually managed to get the group to all sit down and work together. and I swear God it was the food, one of the guys even wrote it up in his evaluation of the experiance ( of group work) as the only good thing. so liek I said noit that hard to understand just odd.

[kilted exile]

and while we are at it why is golf supposed to be intresting? To watch that is, I get how playing it is intrsting but why watch it?

playing it isnt interesting -it is the most frustrating thing in the world

[jocky]

nah I'm far more entertained by the never ending tragedies involving penalty shoot outs against germany & Argentina

Especially the one when Stewart Pearce misses the penalty. Everytime I get depressed I replay it over and over and over.

Pooh sticks as the old bear said, Ive proven you right because I am utterly confused by that statement. why have you capitalised men? Wait are yo saying men are confusing? because they/you arent really, you just have a tendancy to do bizzare things.
I even proved a steryotype about men true during the nightmare group project of the second year, I ened up locking my group ( all male except for me ) into a room with £25 worth of food and drink ( and I think home made biscuits and brownies) for 3 hours and that was the only afternoon I actually managed to get the group to all sit down and work together. and I swear God it was the food, one of the guys even wrote it up in his evaluation of the experiance ( of group work) as the only good thing. so liek I said noit that hard to understand just odd.

Did you leave the room with your dignity intact? The whole of Lit, Net is waiting for a reply.

Prosecution Lawyer: Jocky do you mean to tell this jury that your wife died of food poisoning, when the evidence clearly shows there were multiple head traumas, how do you explain this contadiction? Jocky: she wouldnt eat the mushrooms! Judge: You leave this court without a blemish on your character, you can collect your hammer from the Clerk of the Court. Have you anything to say before you leave this place? Jocky: Yes, British justice has triumphed again.

[prendrelemick]

Ashes, ashes about that, ccan anyone explain criccket to me?
and while we are at it why is golf supposed to be intresting? To watch that is, I get how playing it is intrsting but why watch it?

sorry Nightshade, it would take a long time, and I have to prepare to go into hiding, if we lose at the oval.

Especially the one when Stewart Pearce misses the penalty. Everytime I get depressed I replay it over and over and over.

Ah yes, when "Psycho" became "Scapegoat"