how happy are you

[blazeofglory]

This is a funny question, isn't it?

But the truth of the matter or the fact of life is that we are mostly unhappy. If we are really happy we will not seek it doggedly and indefatigably.

We want God and there is a motive to seek God. The motive is God gives us eternal happiness.

We want to own lots of wealth thinking that with more money our level of happiness rises.

We want to marry, set up a home, beget babies, own vehicles, earn lots of money and have a good career.

Is happiness measurable or is lasting happiness can be attained through material achievement?

In life we have a few moments of happiness and mostly we are unhappy.

I do not have arrogance to say that I am mostly happy. Happiness comes but fleets in a fraction of a second.

Even if I get lotteries but after a time I feel unhappy or will return to the state I was in.

[kilted exile]

Who is unhappy? I aint unhappy, I aint searching for god - have no desire to, I can be perfectly happy without a god. I have no desire to own lots of money, fancy cars etc. happiness has nothing to do with material attachments or spiritual inclinations. It has to do with being content with yourself.

your life may be unhappy filled with few moments of happiness - mine is the complete opposite. For a lot of people it is the opposite, what is your basis for "mostly unhappy"? there was a thread fairly recently containing a poll asking how happy are you? the vast majority voted very happy or rather happy (72.5%) with only 10% saying they were not happy at all. link

Perhaps if you are unhappy it is because you are searching for the wrong things.

[amarna]

These are thought-provoking ideas and I find them very inspiring, but I feel a little bit pocketed by this use of the word "we". I am really really not interested in wanting God, do not have any motive to seek it and am not unhappy. Either your "We" does not mean mankind or I do not belong to the mankind you're speaking of.

[Tsuyoiko]

This is a funny question, isn't it?

But the truth of the matter or the fact of life is that we are mostly unhappy. If we are really happy we will not seek it doggedly and indefatigably.

We want God and there is a motive to seek God. The motive is God gives us eternal happiness.

We want to own lots of wealth thinking that with more money our level of happiness rises.

We want to marry, set up a home, beget babies, own vehicles, earn lots of money and have a good career.

Is happiness measurable or is lasting happiness can be attained through material achievement?

In life we have a few moments of happiness and mostly we are unhappy.

I do not have arrogance to say that I am mostly happy. Happiness comes but fleets in a fraction of a second.

Even if I get lotteries but after a time I feel unhappy or will return to the state I was in.

I think you are unhappy because you have too many desires. Although I am an atheist, I think there's a lot of truth in the Buddhist idea that happiness comes through freedom from desires. I am mostly happy, and I think that's because I have provided myself with the basics of life, but I don't hanker after material possessions: I live the Middle Way.

I have cherished values, companionship, a comfortable home, a car, a part-time job and enough free time to pursue my interests via a laptop, a reliable internet connection, games consoles and a library card. If you want to put it another way, I'm childless at 34, live in a tiny house, drive an old banger, earn a low wage and don't have enough money to travel or buy nice things.

Happiness is about making the best of what you have.

[V.Jayalakshmi]

Dear Members,
I rather agree with Blazeglory.I have never been very happy for long.I have been reasonably happy for some time and now since some times in recent past very unhappy indeed.Why? I lost my only son in an accident. I am only wearing a mask of reasonable normalcy( Neither happy nor unhappy) now.For the first time in a thread since the originator wants seriouseness I have revealed a personal information.

The thread rather makes us look at ourselves if indeed we are serious.

[kilted exile]

Dear Members,
I rather agree with Blazeglory.I have never been very happy for long.I have been reasonably happy for some time and now since some times in recent past very unhappy indeed.Why? I lost my only son in an accident. I am only wearing a mask of reasonable normalcy( Neither happy nor unhappy) now.For the first time in a thread since the originator wants seriouseness I have revealed a personal information.

The thread rather makes us look at ourselves if indeed we are serious.

There is a strong implication here that if you do not answer that you are unhappy you are not being serious.

I am perfectly serious, I for one couldnt be happier

[NikolaiI]

I agree with Kilted and Tsuyoiko. My level of happiness is like Kilted's, the great majority of the time happy with occasional unhappiness. I agree with Tsuyoiko about freedom from desire. Actually I have reasoned this for a long time. Emerson's essay Self-Reliance is along these lines, and my philosophy of life is also. My philosophy is basically just to do good without attachment. It's all about balance, and about finding out and knowing who you are.

And also Kilted I agree about you with being serious. I am also very serious about some thing, and I also couldn't be happier.

[SleepyWitch]

I think an important part of being happy is that you work hard at it. There are no ready made recipes or formulas for being happy for any of us. In the past, while growing up , I used to expect other people/things determine my happiness status... Parents, friends, teachers, bosses, things I could(not) afford/have determined how (un)happy I was. Whereas now, I know that I am the only one who is responsible for my own (un)happiness... And as long as one expects others make him/her happy, happiness will be hard to come by.

I have learnt that I would rather be in charge of my own life than let others have a say on how I should feel about myself and my life.

I totally agree with Scher.
Nevertheless, I wouldn't call myself very happy. I think I'm one of those people who are - on the whole - er, content to be content and don't seek happiness. I suppose I'm lucky because I've never really expected material possessions to make me happy, so I didn't really need to learn a lesson in that respect (relatively speaking, of course, seeing as I live in a developed country and have everything I need to live).
Whenever I felt "happy", or thought I felt "happy", it was either a very intense feeling or I felt slightly light-headed. Of course, it didn't last, or otherwise it turned out to be based on illusions. Besides, it's in the nature of intense emotions that they cannot last long, otherwise they wouldn't be intense. What's more, who'd want to live in an irrational state of mind like this 24/7?
Anyways, I voted "rather happy", but on the other hand I do not strive to be any more happy than I am. So I suppose that makes me "very happy", even though I wouldn't call it that myself.

[Virgil]

Nevertheless, I wouldn't call myself very happy. I think I'm one of those people who are - on the whole - er, content to be content and don't seek happiness. I suppose I'm lucky because I've never really expected material possessions to make me happy, so I didn't really need to learn a lesson in that respect (relatively speaking, of course, seeing as I live in a developed country and have everything I need to live).
Whenever I felt "happy", or thought I felt "happy", it was either a very intense feeling or I felt slightly light-headed. Of course, it didn't last, or otherwise it turned out to be based on illusions. Besides, it's in the nature of intense emotions that they cannot last long, otherwise they wouldn't be intense. What's more, who'd want to live in an irrational state of mind like this 24/7?
Anyways, I voted "rather happy", but on the other hand I do not strive to be any more happy than I am. So I suppose that makes me "very happy", even though I wouldn't call it that myself.

You're a newlywed. If you're not happy now...

Anyways, looking at those last two sentences, it looks like pretzel logic. I'm twisting myself to try to understand it. Therefore it must mean you're happy.

[Jozanny]

I have episodes of intense misery from which I usually emerge, battle-scarred, with perhaps a wry intonation, to roll my broken body around another day, and I used to post about this in great detail; if I posted in communities where I presumed an ableist majority, I came to understand that able-bodied people become uncomfortable with those of us in pain and or experiencing suffering. And the person in pain who persists usually gets banned, or chastised in some form, online.

In mental health or disability forums, the chorus is that of so many agendas that mutual support is, in some sense, ineffectual. In real life I am just getting too worn down, but the same pressures apply. Aggressive behavior is, if not exactly punished, then constricted further down the line.

I have no idea what happy is. I was lucky enough, for a disabled woman, to have some interesting sex, if not love-making with those whom I beloved. I was also lucky enough to have a career which lasted a little longer than the interesting sex life, and when I am good enough, amid all that, I was accepted for publication, and more rarely performed my work, sometimes further still to a rare standing ovation, which was transformative, but I will never be happy, and will eventually have to make peace with a nursing home or invest in a method to circumvent that.

[motherhubbard]

Dear Members,
I lost my only son in an accident. I am only wearing a mask of reasonable normalcy( Neither happy nor unhappy) now.

I don't know how a person could be happy after that. Perhaps time will make it better. I don't know. I think it's the greatest loss a person could suffer and I'm sorry. I know that your life is forever changed. This would certainly be a sorrow that would be difficult to overcome. I don't know what would be more heartbreaking than the loss of a child.

I have no idea what happy is. I was lucky enough, for a disabled woman, to have some interesting sex, if not love-making with those whom I beloved. I was also lucky enough to have a career which lasted a little longer than the interesting sex life, and when I am good enough, amid all that, I was accepted for publication, and more rarely performed my work, sometimes further still to a rare standing ovation, which was transformative, but I will never be happy, and will eventually have to make peace with a nursing home or invest in a method to circumvent that.

But the truth of the matter or the fact of life is that we are mostly unhappy. If we are really happy we will not seek it doggedly and indefatigably.

We want God and there is a motive to seek God. The motive is God gives us eternal happiness.

We want to own lots of wealth thinking that with more money our level of happiness rises.

We want to marry, set up a home, beget babies, own vehicles, earn lots of money and have a good career.

Is happiness measurable or is lasting happiness can be attained through material achievement?

In life we have a few moments of happiness and mostly we are unhappy.

I do not have arrogance to say that I am mostly happy. Happiness comes but fleets in a fraction of a second.

Even if I get lotteries but after a time I feel unhappy or will return to the state I was in.

These two posts sound like you are looking for external sources of happiness. I think true happiness is internal.

Who is unhappy? I aint unhappy,... It has to do with being content with yourself.

your life may be unhappy filled with few moments of happiness - mine is the complete opposite.
Perhaps if you are unhappy it is because you are searching for the wrong things.

I think you are unhappy because you have too many desires. ... I think there's a lot of truth in the Buddhist idea that happiness comes through freedom from desires.

I'm in complete agreement with these two posts. I don't think I can express my happiness it is so great. That doesn't mean that my life is perfect. I do think that my lack of material desire has a lot to do with my happiness.

Whenever I felt "happy", or thought I felt "happy", it was either a very intense feeling or I felt slightly light-headed. Of course, it didn't last, or otherwise it turned out to be based on illusions. Besides, it's in the nature of intense emotions that they cannot last long, otherwise they wouldn't be intense. What's more, who'd want to live in an irrational state of mind like this 24/7?

Moments of joy and bliss shouldn't diminish one's sense of general happiness. That's just cherries on top!

[Jozanny]

These two posts sound like you are looking for external sources of happiness. I think true happiness is internal.

As a constant? I think states of being, mother, are episodic, and when it came to men, mother, you may be right, about external sourcing, but I am rather screwed up in my relation to the opposite sex and don't want to derail your poll.

My general state though, when I am not fighting with social services, is dissatisfaction. I wanted more from myself, and I lacked the will, and I am alarmed I won't have enough time to really achieve my best. This is not just mental laziness. It is difficult to work well without the proper medical equipment--and it seems the hatchet man's salary is more important to American insurance providers than the well-being of their patients. Our system is insane.

Then again, artists usually cannot be happy and be good at what they do. It is something of a stereotype, but still a truism, from what I know. Kafka had external circumstances much like my own, and his name is now an adjective.

[motherhubbard]

I understand your concerns and frustrations. When there is something you truly desire and have difficulty obtaining it can really put a damper on one's happiness. I think we all have things like that to one degree or another. And, of course, that is really subjective as we all perceive our trials and triumphs through our own perspective. I know that you have special challenges and frustrations to face that I really can't comprehend or relate to.

In my own life I look at what I have managed to build for myself and how I've been blessed beyond my own means. While I've not reached my goals I am working toward them. I want peace and understanding- I desire self actualization. I find happiness in the pursuit. It's a choice to be happy. I choose to be happy, to be thankful for what I have, to love people, and to hope even though I often face trials and hardships. There are moments that I feel blue, but overall I am exceedingly happy. But it's only because I choose to be. It's an active happy instead of a passive kind of happiness.

This is not to say that I have the kind of life that is to be admired. But, I take what comes and try to deal with it. Any of us can find reason to be unhappy. For some it can be a greater challenge to find reason to be happy.

[SleepyWitch]

You're a newlywed. If you're not happy now...

hum, I don't know. as it happens, I am happy. but I've never expected my hubby to make me happy. I mean, there are enough other things in life to worry about or be angry about. E.g. if a colleague gets on my nerves, I'll be angry with her and whether I'm a newlywed is neither here nor there.
Besides, why should I be any happier now than I was before getting married? The hubby and me have lived together for 2 years and been together for 3 1/2 years, so I don't see how getting married changes anything. Should I be happy now because he can't run away and has to stay with me forever? Or should I be happy because I'm a wife now while others are desperately looking for a partner? That would have more to do with insecurity, envy and spite than with happiness. If I'd been afraid about my hubby dumping me if I don't secure him by getting married, I'd have broken up with him right away and not married him in the first place.

[motherhubbard]

hum, I don't know. as it happens, I am happy. but I've never expected my hubby to make me happy.

I really like this statement. If we depend upon others for our happiness we are setting ourselves up for unhappiness. But, I get what Virgil was saying