Litnet's Anonymous Poets

[Nightshade]

Hello All!
And welcome to the anonymous poems thread!

The purpose of this thread is to allow people to have their poems posted anonymously and receive constructive critisim in return.

How will this work?

Those who want to share their poems will PM them to me and I will post them but of course there will be some RULES!

So the rules:

1) The posts work on a "first-received-first posted" basis but I will only post a maximum of 2 poems a day. So to keep things fair, please only send 1 poem every fortnight ( 2 weeks). People who send multiple poems will lose their chance.

2) No claiming authorship, or trying to guess who wrote the poem. If you know who has written a poem, please keep that information to yourself.

3) This thread is for anonymous poetry only; so, please don’t reply to a poem with your own poem.

4) Obviously forum rules apply.

5) I'll be operating zero tolerance on breaking these rules, if you post a post that breaks them it will be deleted automatically.

and enjoy the poetry!

[Scheherazade]

This sounds like a great idea, Night!

Even I might be tempted to air my poetry now!

[blazeofglory]

People who wins over fame and name write anonymously

[Niamh]

great idea!

[Nightshade]

(YAY The first one!! ) Thankyou person who sent this in for being the first one to start us off!

The Space we shared

Two dull ovalled windows
Painted green and black
are your gateways to the real world.
The Dark Silhouette that
walks behind my back at night
When i walk down a lamplit street.
A dark guardian who is apart of me and around me.
My Shining Soul, My dark mysterious shadow;
Two unknown presences
That shall accompany me to my grave.
Then shall my soul desert me
and wander the desolate earth,
Leaving my shadow with me in a foursided box
Shrouded in darkness.
Until then my soul is a prisoner
Locked up inside of me
with my eyes are the only window
leading light into the innocent spirit.
My shadow shall stay as my dark companion
Until the earth becomes deceased
And my bones crumble into dust.
But now it is only reality,
Where my two companions are nothing but fantasy
And only I see their distinctions,
My soul the light, My shadow the dark...
And only I can imagine the time and space we have shared
...Both past and present.
And only I can dream about the time we will share in the future,
My Soul, my Shadow and Myself.

[Nightshade]

Today I ate a baby

This morning I had breakfast
I had a cup of tea.
At lunchtime I had
A great big Maccy D.
Later I had a chocolate
Lovely sweet and stuff.
For dinner I think I had
Oh yes- the baby’s soul.

[Niamh]

that second poem is a bit....yeah.... got images of hanibal lector poping into my head. *shudders*

[Nightshade]

Pain for Sale

Closing down
Reduced to clear
Not needed anymore
We’re all leaving here

Some bodies are temples
Mine’s ready to be condemned
Loose screws in the rafters
Won’t hold a meat hook, can only creak and bend

All kinds, all ways
Physical, mental
Lingering too
Available at the right price to you

So gather round, and check the goods
Buy it for your mother
Buy it for your brother
Perfect gift this time of year

But questions remain:
Do buyers exist?
And can anyone tell me,
How much I can charge for this?

[Niamh]

Wow! that third poem is really good!!!

[Nightshade]

I agree, its great my favourite bit is this, although Im not sure why it just appeals to me I guess.

But questions remain:
Do buyers exist?
And can anyone tell me,
How much I can charge for this?

[Niamh]

I liked this bit

Some bodies are temples
Mine’s ready to be condemned
Loose screws in the rafters
Won’t hold a meat hook, can only creak and bend

[kilted exile]

All kinds, all ways
Physical, mental
Lingering too
Available at the right price to you

So gather round, and check the goods
Buy it for your mother
Buy it for your brother
Perfect gift this time of year

In general I like it but I think the pattern is lost during these stanzas. The rhyming of "too" and "you" seems too forced. And the opening line of the next stanza just doesnt sit right with me. However I know nothing about poetry so....

[ampoule]

I adore the anonymity of it!
Are you going to get in trouble or do I not understand the rules? Naughty boy.

[Nightshade]

Misplaced Modifier

When first the metaphor surfaced,
the pack ice had begun to move,
wild verbs jumped from block to block
sniffing and disagreement set in between
passively wanting to sample the flesh
of something smelling so real, though
what was it, snow laden and blue. Nouns
with their equipment arrived on shore,
their objective undetermined, novice
adjectives sensing their first chance
to associate with something real, hung
on the nouns’ every word, nervous,
often misplaced in their urgency, odd
sounding with their theories of what
happened, threatened by the snickering
of the nearby adverbs already making
their mark haughtily collecting each piece
of the metaphor to the waiting crime lab.

The papers surreptitiously breaking themselves
down into assumptions with difficulty, something
was missing from you and me. Once again
they printed, Residence awake in the shadow of
our sins floating on the East River, unidentified.

[Nightshade]

Oh Pineapple
You maybe hard to cut up
but I like you anyways
It may take a long time to grow
and get to big for the house
but I like you anyways