Personal and Anonymous

[Nightshade]

I havent really anything to add as never found myself in anything like that situation, just one thing though I dont see any logical reason for the friend to object really so it all confuses me.

[papayahed]

I havent really anything to add as never found myself in anything like that situation, just one thing though I dont see any logical reason for the friend to object really so it all confuses me.

It happens I had a friend that **** blocked me from dating her friend. We went to a concert one night and me and "Jack" hit it off quite well. After that she would go out of her way to not make plans with each of us togehter. I even told her I kinda dug the guy. She was on the phone with him and I asked to talk to him and she just said no, so I left it at that. And now that I'm moved away she mentioned trying to find a date for Jack. What??????

All my other friends (and myself) would have gone out of their way to match us up.

[Nightshade]

It happens I had a friend that **** blocked me from dating her friend. We went to a concert one night and me and "Jack" hit it off quite well. After that she would go out of her way to not make plans with each of us togehter. I even told her I kinda dug the guy. She was on the phone with him and I asked to talk to him and she just said no, so I left it at that. And now that I'm moved away she mentioned trying to find a date for Jack. What??????

All my other friends (and myself) would have gone out of their way to match us up

Humm I see. maybe she fancied him herself?

[Niamh]

Humm i would have thought that myself. .

[Scheherazade]

In general I try not to date relatives of friends. I dated one of my college roommates sister for a while, it didnt work out (obviously) and things got kinda awkward afterwards.

I agree with Kilted as well. If things work out, it is nice and dandy but it they don't, is it worth making things awkward between yourself and your friend?

[papayahed]

Humm I see. maybe she fancied him herself?

Humm i would have thought that myself. .

They never dated and she never said "giiirrrrllll I like him too", But that could have been the case.

[Niamh]

Either that or (i know this might not sound very nice) she liked him, but didnt like you enough to see you with him? some people are just not nice.

[Scheherazade]

Considering the gender based double standards going on on the Forum at the moment, it makes me wonder if the reactions of both sexes would be the same.

If you are a guy, would you mind one of your friends wanting to date your brother/sister?

If you are a gal, would you mind one of your friends wanting to date your brother/sister?

[SleepyWitch]

I havent really anything to add as never found myself in anything like that situation, just one thing though I dont see any logical reason for the friend to object really so it all confuses me.

same here. the only complication I could imagine is that the poster's best friend doesn't want her brother to be hurt. as in: what if the poster dumps the brother after a while and he is heart-broken? but this could happen in any relationship,.. it doesn't really matter who the brother dates, anyone could dump him, not only the poster.

If you are a gal, would you mind one of your friends wanting to date your brother/sister?

I'm a gal and I never meddled in my younger brother's love life, as far as I'm aware. He was never interested in any of my friends, but if he had been I couldn't have cared less. I mean, he's not my baby and I've always considered him old enough to make his own decisions.

anyways, I think the poster should talk with her friend openly and find out whether she really doesn't want the poster to date her brother. seeing as we're talking about the poster's best friend, the two of them should be able to talk about this openly.

[sprinks]

Hmm... Well, if using my actual situation right now, it'd be a little weird. What with my brother only being 13 years old and my sister 2 and a bit months old.
But in imaginary la-la-land, where my siblings are closer to my age, I'd be cool with it. I think I'd prefer it, as I'm a protective person of those I love, so I'd be more at ease if I knew who my brother/sister was dating, and who my friend was dating. It'd ease the suspicion a little. I just wouldn't want to know ANY details of their relationship

I mean, even later on in life I'd be cool with it, like because in essence there is only about 2 and a half years between me/my friends and my brother, but 20 and 23 sounds a lot better than 13 and 16, I think. Big difference.

[AimusSage]

well, that depends on the guy and if my sister likes him now doesn't it? I wouldn't like some friends dating my sister, but it's not like I'll make a big deal out of it. If it's a girl wanting to date my brother I wouldn't really mind either, but again, there are some friends that I might not like to see date my brother.

When it makes them happy fine, just as long as they realize that if it doesn't work out and they come running to me, they should not expect me to pick a side, (depending on how it didn't work out of course) there is no guarantee I will pick either side over the other, ever.

It's nothing a pan galactic gargle-blaster can't solve though

[Scheherazade]

Are there any problems or dilemmas you face?

Choices and decisions to be made?

Things you would like to talk about but you would like to remain anonymous?

In this thread we can talk about them.

Please PM the issues you would like to be discussed by Tuesday each week

and

I will post them here (without giving your name) every Wednesday.

- I will keep your identity confidential and will not share this information with anyone.

- If I receive more than one PMs in a particular week, I will pick one of them.

- In your PM, please explain the issue the way you would like it to appear in the thread (I will be quoting directly without including your name).

- Please bear in mind that you may not always like the replies or reactions you receive in the thread as people will be offering their honest opinions.

- Those of you who give advice or offer guidance, please keep in mind that even though their identity may not be revealed, these will be our friends' problems and need to be dealt with uttermost sensitively.

This week's letter:

My stepfather hates my guts and is always screaming at me about how I should be always doing housework and how much I fail to be human (or how ugly and useless I am, you know). When he's out of work (I mean on his free day) he drinks and doesn't allow me to go on the internet or watch television. He also takes out all his rage on me when he has a bad day or something like that. I can't talk back to him or he goes insane. He screams at my mother too, he's very controlling. My mother is a very clingy person and won't let me move in with my father (or date or have any life that's not about her), she says my problems are her problems and she'll do something about it because she can't live like that. The problem is she doesn't do anything! What should I do?

If you have an issue to be discussed in this thread, please PM me!

[Virgil]

It happens I had a friend that **** blocked me from dating her friend. We went to a concert one night and me and "Jack" hit it off quite well. After that she would go out of her way to not make plans with each of us togehter. I even told her I kinda dug the guy. She was on the phone with him and I asked to talk to him and she just said no, so I left it at that. And now that I'm moved away she mentioned trying to find a date for Jack. What??????

All my other friends (and myself) would have gone out of their way to match us up.

I have no real opinion in any of this, but in reading Papaya's post I got hung up on the epleted word, the four letter ****. Now normally I can guess which word is being blocked, but here as I run through my list of four letter dirty words, none seem to fit the syntax. I know this is silly, but Papaya can you PM me what that word is. I'm curious.

[sprinks]

My stepfather hates my guts and is always screaming at me about how I should be always doing housework and how much I fail to be human (or how ugly and useless I am, you know). When he's out of work (I mean on his free day) he drinks and doesn't allow me to go on the internet or watch television. He also takes out all his rage on me when he has a bad day or something like that. I can't talk back to him or he goes insane. He screams at my mother too, he's very controlling. My mother is a very clingy person and won't let me move in with my father (or date or have any life that's not about her), she says my problems are her problems and she'll do something about it because she can't live like that. The problem is she doesn't do anything! What should I do?

Honestly I can't think of much. My only thought would be to try to talk to a counsellor about it and try to get some outside interference going on, so that either you are placed with your father, or the situation is changed somehow.

[papayahed]

My stepfather hates my guts and is always screaming at me about how I should be always doing housework and how much I fail to be human (or how ugly and useless I am, you know). When he's out of work (I mean on his free day) he drinks and doesn't allow me to go on the internet or watch television. He also takes out all his rage on me when he has a bad day or something like that. I can't talk back to him or he goes insane. He screams at my mother too, he's very controlling. My mother is a very clingy person and won't let me move in with my father (or date or have any life that's not about her), she says my problems are her problems and she'll do something about it because she can't live like that. The problem is she doesn't do anything! What should I do?

Have you talked to your father about the situation? If he will let you live with him, have him try to get custody of you through the courts or try to have him talk to your Mom.