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Thread: Your absence is killing me...

  1. #1
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    Unhappy Your absence is killing me...

    hey guys, this a peice i wrote, i don't know how to define it, i just wrote it ans liked it.. tell me what you think

    My lips are feeling your shadow, and my arms ache with your absence… my heart seeks you with every beat, and my blood looks for you with its drops… my eyes call for you with every glance, and cry for you with every tear… my whole body is calling for you…
    You've become the air I breath… the bubble I live in… everything reminds me of you… everything spells your name… our memories keep interrupting my thoughts, as if reminding the fate to send you back to me…
    My room is full with your shadows that attack me with things we've done… and things we've always dreamt to do…
    Everything aches when you're gone… even the air… I need you here… you're my home!!
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....

  2. #2
    Yes! crazefest456's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty^Athens View Post
    our memories keep interrupting my thoughts, as if reminding the fate to send you back to me…
    memories are a VERY powerful thing; your piece has such intense feelings of withdrawal, reminiscence... I feel that I could understand, that it defines some of my own thoughts; I like that!

  3. #3
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazefest456 View Post
    memories are a VERY powerful thing; your piece has such intense feelings of withdrawal, reminiscence... I feel that I could understand, that it defines some of my own thoughts; I like that!
    Glad you like it thanks
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....

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    It is touching... it reminds me of my own experience. I like it too

  5. #5
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty^Athens View Post
    hey guys, this a peice i wrote, i don't know how to define it, i just wrote it ans liked it.. tell me what you think

    My lips are feeling your shadow, and my arms ache with your absence… my heart seeks you with every beat, and my blood looks for you with its drops… my eyes call for you with every glance, and cry for you with every tear… my whole body is calling for you…
    You've become the air I breath… the bubble I live in… everything reminds me of you… everything spells your name… our memories keep interrupting my thoughts, as if reminding the fate to send you back to me…
    My room is full with your shadows that attack me with things we've done… and things we've always dreamt to do…
    Everything aches when you're gone… even the air… I need you here… you're my home!!
    Pretty Athens, you must be pretty not only in physique but in spirit too. Or else this poem, so elevating and captivating could not have been birthed.

    Of course the spirit of universe must have possessed you, or else a piece like this could not have occurred to anyone.

    Here love in its entirety is manifest, the feathers of love blown or expanded beyond mortal realms.

    Pretty, your expression is really universal. I simply get immersed in the ocean of it, and plumbed of course.

    Write more and more pieces like this one, for they are reservoirs that flood life with love.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty^Athens View Post
    hey guys, this a peice i wrote, i don't know how to define it, i just wrote it ans liked it...
    Oh one of those times when u write something just to spit it out and it becomes a very good piece (i only had this pleasure in one of my many rumblings though ) and u cant define it, yet know its more than just thoughts...

    I liked this piece, Pretty. Very much, indeed. And i guess that must be good (dunno whether for u or me) somewhere 'cuz usually i dont find myself wow-ing at every love poem or piece of thoughts like this, i seriously think there's very little left to say in topics like this. However, brilliant poems/undefined pieces have this habit of amazing me still. So u get a from me here.

    One thing though, i didnt much appreciate the title-- and NOT because it brought back memories of someone telling me my presence is killing him ... though in a positive sense acc. to him, anyway i'm trying to be an unbiased soul in here, see?! The point being- the title sounded timeworn to me, but the piece in itself was a brilliant read in my part.

    Thank u.
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  7. #7
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    I love revisiting this piece a hundred times and go never tired of appreciating every line, every clause and of course every bit of it.

    I got bewitched, intoxicated and drunk with this. Something on the scale of Rumi, opne of the Sufi poets.

    Indeed pretty you are possessed. Something, great spirit possessed you, or else a piece of this measure could not have been written.

    You are the medium and someone or something great is at work!

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  8. #8
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    thank you all for whay you said glad you like it!
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....

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    Very beautiful!

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