Congratulations, Barbara! Charming poem.
Congratulations, Barbara! Charming poem.
"Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house, they are company and don't let me catch you remarking on their ways like you were so high and mighty."
Congratulations, Barbara! Looking forward to seeing what new form you pick.
"In rime sparse il suono/ di quei sospiri ond' io nudriva 'l core/ in sul mio primo giovenile errore"~ Francesco Petrarca
"Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."~ Jane Austen
Congradulations appear to be in order, Barbie!What form d'ya 'ave in mind, doll?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
Thank you very much for picking Aunt Jess, autolycus! I'm sure you had a hard time making a decision because there were excellent contributions. The more I feel honoured.
And thank you, Riesa, Petrarch's Love and Pen, for your congratulations.
Petrarch's Love, your name gave me the idea for the new form - the sonnet. Maybe it has been done before (I didn't want to go through all 17 pages of the thread), but I don't want the Shakespearean one but the form that was used in German baroque.
There are 4 stanzas, two of four lines and then two of three lines.
Rhyme: abab - cdcd - eef - ggf. (But if you find your own rhyme scheme, that's fine by me.)
The metre is the iambic hexameter (s = stressed syllable; u = unstressed syllable):
ususus(,) ususus(u)
Be funny or witty or serious or sad - and have fun.
I hope I've made myself clear above. If not, don't hesitate to say so.
Last edited by barbara0207; 10-11-2007 at 04:37 PM.
hey barabaracongrats!!
hmm i was never good at meters, but let's see if i can cook anything up
got a deadline yet?
.
...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.
Congratulations barbara, it was a fun poem
Want to know what I think about books? Check out https://biisbooks.wordpress.com/
I bow to other's wishes perhaps too easily... the poem is doomed from the start, but I trust you will enjoy it anyway, that is more important than winning anyway, or should be to any true poet!
Soothing Night
Mother Night moves like a dark regal lady,
Stars glisten in the tangled tresses of her hair.
I have run from my fears and pain daily—
Each time her arms have sheltered me there.
Her voice whispers soft as the moonlight,
Soothing and gentle as she rocks me to sleep.
I do not know why anyone would ever fear Night—
For only in her arms can I ever find real peace.
The wisdom of the ages abide in the starry eyes,
Listening to her whispers could make a man wise—
This Dark Goddess that is crowned with the moon…
When the stress of the day has worn down my soul,
I wait on her coming, for her cloak to enfold
Knowing that comfort will be there and I can rest soon…
Pendragon
© 10/11/07
Last edited by Pendragon; 10-16-2007 at 09:19 AM.
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
Thank you very much, symphony and FifthElement!
About a deadline: Shall we say October 22? (We can always extend it, depending on the number of poems
Um, yes, I can see that.Originally Posted by Pendragon
I like the theme of your poem. But the meter is really important for this form, more so than the rhyme scheme, which may vary. And as this is a form poetry contest I'd like to insist on the correct meter, just like autolycus insisted on correct syllable count.
The iambic hexameter is not very hard to do. Seeing that you are a musician, Pen, just think of it as a song with a certain rhythm:
ta-tum-ta-tum-ta-tum; ta-tum-ta-tum-ta-tum (ta),
just fourteen lines of that. If you clap your hands with every "tum", it will be easy.
Last edited by barbara0207; 10-12-2007 at 05:46 PM.
Actually, Barbie, I'll just withdraw the sonnet. The form doesn't rule me, I rule the form. No one has ever complained about one of my sonnets. I'm sorry if this doesn't fit your "foot and meter" requirements. When I started this form contest thread, I intended it to be just that, form. People have taken form and added in requirements such as the syllable count in a lymerick, and now a certain foot and meter. OK, if you want. I'm out. My form poetry is well accepted because I don't allow the form to rule me. So I respectfully withdraw my poem.Thank you very much, symphony and FifthElement!
About a deadline: Shall we say October 22? (We can always extend it, depending on the number of poems
Um, yes, I can see that.
I like the theme of your poem. But the meter is really important for this form, more so than the rhyme scheme, which may vary. And as this is a form poetry contest I'd like to insist on the correct meter, just like autolycus insisted on correct syllable count.
The iambic hexameter is not very hard to do. Seeing that you are a musician, Pen, just think of it as a song with a certain rhythm:
ta-tum-ta-tum-ta-tum; ta-tum-ta-tum-ta-tum (ta),
just fourteen lines of that. If you clap your hands with every "tum", it will be easy.
Pen
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
Now I did offend you, Pen. I'm very, very sorry about that.And I certainly did not complain about the content of your poem. I loved it, it felt soothing and comforting. It just does not meet the requirements of "form".
There seems to be a deep misunderstanding concerning the term "form". To you, a sonnet is a poem of 14 lines and perhaps a certain structure and some rhymes. To me, sonnets are divided into Petrarchan, Shakespearean, German baroque etc., each of them having a certain metre and rhyme scheme. In former times poets followed the rules rather strictly, so I thought that was what this thread was all about. Sorry I misunderstood.
If everybody else on this thread thinks I should remove the requirements of meter, I will do so. What do you say?
Since it's caused unfortunate misunderstanding, I would be all for keeping meter suggested but optional for this round. It's only fun if everybody joins in with happy feet.
"In rime sparse il suono/ di quei sospiri ond' io nudriva 'l core/ in sul mio primo giovenile errore"~ Francesco Petrarca
"Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."~ Jane Austen
... or with out any "feet"
I think King Solomon himself could not have made a wiser suggestion.
So be it: Meter suggested but optional.
So I hope you won't withdraw your poem, Pen!
Hoorah! Now everyone can play. Put that poem back up there Pen; I want to read it. May have to write an entry myself. Controversy makes a thread so much more interesting to participate in.
"In rime sparse il suono/ di quei sospiri ond' io nudriva 'l core/ in sul mio primo giovenile errore"~ Francesco Petrarca
"Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."~ Jane Austen
Back up! http://www.online-literature.com/for...&postcount=247Hoorah! Now everyone can play. Put that poem back up there Pen; I want to read it. May have to write an entry myself. Controversy makes a thread so much more interesting to participate in.
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
I'm really glad we got this misunderstanding worked out, and also glad the meter was made optional, because that's one of my favorite sonnets by you Pen., and I like the free quality of the meter in this case. I have had similar feelings about the night before. You express it beautifully.
P.S. After reading it again I noticed one little typo. In line three I think you meant to say " I have run" instead of "I have ran." One tiny mistake in an otherwise lovely poem.
"In rime sparse il suono/ di quei sospiri ond' io nudriva 'l core/ in sul mio primo giovenile errore"~ Francesco Petrarca
"Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."~ Jane Austen
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