I used to believe....

[BibliophileTRJ]

No, it's not a thread about losing your faith in religion; it's about the misconceptions that you held as a child. I came across a website that is dedicated to this topic and found it quite amusing, so I thought it might be interesting to try it here.

Some amusing examples that I remember from the other site include some youngsters believing that:
:If a black person and a white person have a baby together the baby would have spots like a Dalmatian or a Jersey cow.
:Nursing mothers give milk from one breast and orange juice (or chocolate milk)from the other.
And MANY strange ideas about the differences between little boys and little girls.

What inaccurate beliefs did YOU hold as a child?

I'll go first.

I was a strange kid (that grew up to be a strange adult) and whenever I'd do something weird my sisters would jokingly say that "You're a nut, they're going to lock you in an insane asylum." or "You're crazy, they're going to send you to the funny farm." I knew they were kidding and never worried about being sent away.

When I was 4 or 5 we were driving in the country and passed a farm with a strange type of building that I had never seen before. It was tall and round and very thin and had no windows or doors….thinking this a bit odd, I asked my Dad “What’s that building?”
Dad SAID “It’s a silo.”
I HEARD “It’s asylum.” So, I assumed that we were driving past a “funny farm” and that crazy people were locked in that funny round building and that there were no windows or doors so that they couldn’t escape. And that any farm that had a silo was housing crazy people and would be termed a "funny farm".

CRAZY PEOPLE LIVE HERE!!--------------\/


I’m sad to admit that this misconception lasted for well over a decade and that I was in my mid-to-late-teens before I figured out what a dim-wit I was.

[papayahed]

I'm not sure this counts but it definately puts me squarely in the dim-wit category.

When I was somewhere around 10-11 we used to go to a neighborhood restaurant called The Turtle Soup inn. I don't know how or when it happened but I started ordering Turtle Soup, I was convinced it really wasn't turtle and that the little pieces of "meat" were actually hamburger. I used to order it all the time thinking I was eating "Hamburger Soup". At some point in my 20's I was at a restaurant that also served turtle soup and it dawned on me that turtle soup is actually turtle soup.

And how about thinking that song Forever in Blue Jeans was called Reverend Blue Jeans until just a few years ago.

[applepie]

Funny things that I used to believe in...
You all know the original Willy Wonka movie not the new Tim Burton one. It was one of my favorites as a kid, and my parents started to show it to us when I was only 3 or so. Then proceeded to bring home Wonka candy to prove it was real. That was my dad's doing. Well, I was convinced that the whole candy factory, along with the Oompa Loompas (sp?), was real. I believed it until I was 7 or 8 when I finally caught on that my dad was having a great joke at my expense. He still teases me about it

[AdoreroDio]

I used to believe, because my big brother told me so, that dragonflies sucked your blood and were really miniature vampires (even though I didn't believe in vampires). I used to run screaming every time I saw a dragonfly. I must admit I still don't like them. LOL

[motherhubbard]

My mother set me up with a great belief. She must be some kind of genius mom. I believed that whenever a cake was in the over you had to talk in a whisper and walk on tiptoe or the cake would fall and be ruined. I was completely grown and had children before she told me that wasn’t true. I use it though. Sometimes I will bake a cake just for the quiet.

[applepie]

My mother set me up with a great belief. She must be some kind of genius mom. I believed that whenever a cake was in the over you had to talk in a whisper and walk on tiptoe or the cake would fall and be ruined. I was completely grown and had children before she told me that wasn’t true. I use it though. Sometimes I will bake a cake just for the quiet.

I should try this method Maybe I can get it to work in my house, and then when things get too crazy, we'll just bake a cake.

[RoCKiTcZa]

When I was a kid of around 3 or 4 I used to believe the Coast Guard was composed of only one person holding a really important position.

[TheFifthElement]

When I was little I thought that men were amazing, because they pee'd by turning their thumbs inside out.

[Madhuri]

One of my uncle was in the government press. For so many years I used to think that he irons clothes in his office (here, ironing clothes is also known as to press them. We have presswallahs. People give their clothes to the presswalla and he does the ironing). I would wonder what kind of person my aunt married, one with such unusual occupation. And, would think why the goverment needed a whole department only to iron clothes ? It was later I realised that he is in the printing press .

[Granny5]

When my son was little, I worked as a Dispatcher for the Police Department. Everyday I would put on my uniform and go to work, and he thought I would go patch holes in the ditches by the roads. His mom was a "ditch patcher". One day he asked me how I could keep my uniform from getting dirty when I spent my days in the road ditches.
My second daughter used to thing the song When a Man Loves a Woman was When I'm Mad as a Watermelon and Elvira was Hell Fire It. She had a little guitar and sang these songs for my Aunt and her husband. He laughed so hard he fell over in his chair.
The cake in the oven thing has always worked. My Mom had seven kids and baked cakes a lot! I used to think she just loved to bake.

[papayahed]

When I was in grade school my bedroom faced a side street and we lived near a corner so everytime a car turned the light would shine in my room, it wasn't bothersome it was just something I could see. We lived in a pretty busy area so it happened alot. Every night for years I'd get into bed, see a light then yell to my mom "Is it gonna rain tonight?" Ya know...cause I thought it was lightning.....My Mom will not let me live that down, she came to visit last June, a few minutes after she gets into bed she yells "Hey Papaya, is it gonna rain tonight?"

[Granny5]

When motherhubbard was 2 or 3, her Dad worked in radio. When we would go somewhere and he was at work, we'd listen to him on the car radio. She always thought that when he went to work, he would go to the car and get into the car radio. It was really cute cause she'd always touch the radio and tell him bye when we would get out of the car.

[Virgil]

When I was little I thought that men were amazing, because they pee'd by turning their thumbs inside out.

I really ought to come up with something witty to respond to that, but that is so funny it can stand on itself.

[BibliophileTRJ]

When I was little I would ask my father questions (before he stopped talking to me) and if he didn't know the answer or just didn't feel like giving a long explanation he'd just make stuff up.

One blustery day I asked him where wind came from.
He told me that it was trees farting and that trees shook because they were "breaking wind" not because the wind was pushing on them.

When I asked him about the tides he told me that there was a giant flounder on the bottom of the ocean and that the water level rose and fell as it breathed in and out.

I believed him for years. I suppose, in looking back, that it's not such a bad thing he stopped talking to me.... Just imagine the crazy things I'd believe to this day if I had kept listening to him all my life.

[AuntShecky]

These are all so very delightful!

When my children were little, they held that strangely "flavorful" belief about the nursing mothers. I'm somewhat relieved to read that the little myth is not so
idiosyncratic.

Me mother used to say "If you look in the mirror too long,
the Devil will stare back at you." I never really believed it.
Then again, it may explain my usual, slightly-disheveled
appearance to this day.