I once had a teacher who we (the class) liked to disobey. We would act up in her class all the time and she would get real mad, but we kept doing it because she was funny when she got mad. Anyway, some kid was giving her a line of crap and she got real mad and said, "Balderdash."
This was funny because it's such an outdated word and nobody says balderdash, and it had no impact whatsoever, expect maybe to make us break out in giggles.
"...if you weren't smart enough to get a pedophile in a dress to put a small amount of water on the child’s forehead, then what the eff did you think was going to happen?
My old prealgebra teacher used to call me "Shallot" because I memorized "The Lady of Shallot" and he used to think he was so freaking funny! he'd say "is it sha-little or sha-lot?" and whenever I annoyed him, he'd tell me to go back to my tower.
Another kid had the last name Strobel, and he called him 'Strobadelic" and he turned "Strobadelic" into an adjective.
And one kid who looked like Ellijah Wood (Lord of the Rings), he called Hobbit.
One kid he called "moose", because this guy was TALL.
And for some unknown reason, he called one of my friends, whi stands at four feet eleven inches, Snowflake. I have no idea...
If it's worth complaining about, it's completely worth doing yourself!
That's so weird Anza.
For some reason people give me weird nicknames which are usually masculine. I go by the names Jin or Ed (Edward). Last year I was "Mercutio", Now they're calling me Shakespeare, I swear I will strangle the first person to call me Romeo, but I like the name Tybalt.
My best friend read the novel Jonathan Strange and Mr.Norrel, so now I'm Jon.
My mum calls me Molly and Jess, My dad calls me Jason, Jasse, or Champ.
Why????!!
Shall these bones live?
he sounds like a real toolboxOriginally Posted by Anza
"...if you weren't smart enough to get a pedophile in a dress to put a small amount of water on the child’s forehead, then what the eff did you think was going to happen?
My current english teacher once said this:
"...be brief. But... there's a but. (butt)"
and all the blue-witted youngsters burst out into wild laughter :-p
Wish hard enough, I could turn it to what I like.
Fall Out Boy, "Tiffany Blews."
poor Romeo!
:???: this is soo cool
here's another one about my other geography teacher, a lady this time, not the one with the cotton tree furs.
my brother had this teacher too and one day they talk about Spain. there was this guy (let's call him Freddy) in his class who was very smart but looked really sleepy and dopey most of the time.
teacher: What do they grow in Spain?
class: *silence*
teacher: Come on, you know this, you can see huge fields of it!
Freddy [totally out of the blue]: Cannabis.
teacher: Yes, Freddy, exactly. Canola [oil seed rape]!
another time in my class, she said something that isn't funny at all, but it sounded so funny back then, everybody laughed out loud and she didn't get why
teacher: Plantation owners [in the "developing countries"]are expected to comply to certain environmental standards today. So what some of them do is they build a token habitat at one end of the planatation for birds who don't wanna live there anyway."
class:
another time she asked: "what can you make from coconuts"
pupil1: butter
pupil 2: straw mats
etc
Sleepy whispers to her neighbour: "Bras"
teacher: "Sleepy, what did you say? I know it's correct, come on spit it out!"
sleepy: "no, it was just nonsense"
teacher: "Come on, don't be shy!"
Sleepy: "No!"
teacher: "I'll give you a can of tofu if you tell us."
she still owes me that can of tofu. I'll be sure to remind her about it if/when I see her again.
I had a grade -6 teacher we called "banlag" which roughly translates to "lazy-eyed" or "somewhat blind..." and she was the most annoying teacher we ever had. We were an unruly class so we throw things at her, from Gobstoppers (candy) to chalk to erasers and one time we even threw mongo seeds at her... The funny thing is, when we hit her, she wouldn't get angry but if we missed and hit the blackboard she would say " What is throwing this?" instead of "who"... hahaha... we were really rowdy with her... it was a Chinese class and when we were reading something but didn't know how to read it, what we'd do was replace the word with a *tuut* sound.. like the ones they use when they censor words... it was hilarious
"I'd rather be hated for hu i am, than loved for hu I'm not"
"I may run and hide, but I NEVER tell a lie"
"Everyone believes you when you rush in with an axe in your back"
"Germans use so long sentences that the verbs come in the second volume"
"Kant is difficult. I don't understand him too. But you have to!"
New year, after winter holidays: "Where were we last year? Don't remember? Okay, a more wider question. What subject do we have?"
Philosophy teacher
"Grading happens so - fours and fives, (A-s and B-s in Estonian grading system), now we subtract the taxes, threes and twos (C,D, E)"
"Science is the satisfaction of personal curiosity using the money of the state"
"Practice makes practicer"
"Measure the length of the candle flame from aside, or else we will get a new schoolhouse again."
"When a nuclear bomb explodes, take a white sheet and start walking towards the graveyard- you see, gamma rays will reflect off the sheet. But still go to the graveyard, since it won't help anyway."
"Statistics is like a miniskirt -promises a lot, but doesn't actually show anything."
Physics teacher.
"And then Death will come with...you know... hammer and sickle!"
Literature teacher
and many, many more.We had quite a lot of very cool teachers.
If you believe even a half of this post, you are severely mistaken.
"Black is quite black since the stage is so black."
(That was our music teacher wondering whether the choir could dress in black or not)
Me and my friend actually used to write down all the hilarious things that our geography teacher said, and there were quite a lot of them. Most of them wouldn't work in English, so I won't even try to translate them. Some of them were so random, that I still have no idea, what she was trying to say
Now that I've started studying in the university, I have some new teachers that say really funny things. Maybe I'll write some of them here later, if I can remember them long enough
Little Lotte thought of everything and nothing. Her hair was golden as the sun's rays and her soul as clear and blue as her eyes.
Gaston Leroux - The Phantom of the Opera
My Geometry always used to joke he was going to write a book about the weird things people said on class.
With over 2 chapters about yours truly.
It was going to be named after the question that began everything "Why do men have nipples?"
Shall these bones live?
Okay I finally got one from T-Rex, my Bio teacher. Not the funniest, but then again that class is so uncensored I really can't repeat a lot of the hilarious things he says here.
There was this deal today that if this one kid got an A+ on the test we took we'd all get doughnuts courtesy of T-Rex. This one kid said,
"Oh! Get ones from Ralph's! They're the best!"
And T-Rex says,
"I don't shop at supermarkets where they're named after a way of throwing up."
We're not gunna get the doughtnuts, by the way.
But seriously, this guy is the funniest teacher ever. I cry from laughing so hard in his class.
Ooh, now that we're getting into nicknames, T-Rex also likes to give nicknames to people. My friend and I obviously gave him one.Anyways, he calls me "The French Girl", "Frenchie" or "Mimi" because two outta my three names are French and I said one time that I like the language a lot. I don't think he can pronounce my first name.
Other nicknames he's given people:
Big James
School Girl
Frank the Tank
And others...like Knuckle Sandwich.
Last edited by Lily Adams; 09-27-2007 at 12:11 AM.
Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.
Miss Sanders (class 4A, nowadays yr 6)
"Use your gumption!"
Okay you guys, I saw the funniest thing done by a teacher. Yeah, it was T-Rex again.
So today he shows us The Wonderful World of Dung because it was in celebration of out test scores from yesterday, which obviously weren't the greatest.
Okay, to the point. We're watching the movie, and we get to the part with the hippos. Male hippos will er, poop as the wag their tail back and forth so their scent is spread around. So the movie is showing the rear end of a hippo doing this, and my teacher says, "Ohhhhh yeah! That feels GOOD! Oh! Ohhhh!" And he starts wiggling his butt around in the chair.
It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I will NEVER forget that. XD I nearly passed out from laughing so hard.
Okay, also today my English teacher was on a roll with the jokes. We're learning new words like we're supposed to in an English class, and one of the words is "pernicious". My teacher asks a girl to use the word in a sentence. She says,
"The pernicious snake bit the victim."
His response?
"What an asp."
Last edited by Lily Adams; 11-05-2007 at 12:28 AM.
Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.
What happened to this thread?It's such a joy to read the things teachers say.
Teachers say the darndest things!
T-Rex strikes again.
We were talking about cannibalism, and one kid said,
"Who would want to do such a thing?"
my teacher, being the wonderfully sick, twisted person that he is, raised his hand and said,
"What haven't you guys ever heard of Dahmer-nose pizza?"
We continued to talk about cannibalism, Jeffery Dahmer, and Hannibal Lecter. He said before he turned on the TV so we could watch a movie, in a really deep, creepy voice,
"Hello, Clarice."
BEST TEACHER EVER. I have never had a cooler teacher. And we actualyl learn things and GAH HE IS AWESOME. I always walk out of that classroom with a huge smile and a new joke to tell unless we have a sub and then I'm
Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.
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