write a really bad poem

[SleepyWitch]

Today I can see
where, in the sand,
you were lying yesterday,
while I heard the tide,
as you said, I love you,
creeping in, and as I dreamed
you left me, the waves
had leveled the white sand,
except where you were lying.

hey fire, that's not bad!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Bad poem! Never will behave
but insists on rampaging all over
the page, an image from here,
a cliche from over there
some lines rhyme
some just chime
tin-pan-alley like!
Bad, bad poem!
Like a bent-wheel bike
skittering everywhere. I think it would be best
if I put you, immediately, to rest!

[AimusSage]

What I write today
I do so the wrong way
because I lack all sense
misunderstanding the suspense
That comes with writing stuff
It's all a lot of bluff
Because I can't properly rhyme
Stretching a sentence, time
and a again it goes wrong.
I always try to write a song.
With a nice rhythm and flow.
Turns out it's more like a woe
to those that listen to the music
And get horribly sick.

[blp]

Haul me away to the poets time out room but I kinda like those Sleepy.

Often happens when you try to write really badly!

yes, I agree, I rather liked white camellia's poem, too!

here's another one. somebody stop me please, I think I can churn out bad poems in bulk!

Keep 'em coming!

roses are not red enough
nor lemons green
to phrase the wall of glass you built
between your heart and mine.
Nor can all the penguins in paradise
sing the soft shutting of the freezer door
made by your gap-toothed smile.
When I'm the emperor's dachshund
I'll pass a Lautgesetz, a Grimm's Law,
to wrap you up in hornet's furs
and shout with mournful joy:
"There's beauty in rejection!"

Sorry, but this is genius. 1 out of 10 for badness. 1/2 even. 'All the penguins in paradise / sing the soft shutting of the freezer door / made by your gap-toothed smile'. What's not to like?

WASHINGTON

Washington, the Father of our Country,
Was never a father! So, you see,
Experts at things they never did
Have been around for a long time, kid!

Again, I'm sorry, but it's simply not bad. OK, I'm going to give up pointing this out now.

When I look at the stars,
My heart pounds like a hammer,
The moon circles remind me of
A whirlpool’s swirl.

My head spins, I’m dizzy,
As my heart begins to wish
to drown in the whirlpool of your love,
Where we will meet at the bottom of the sea
And having died no one can ever tear us asunder.
There you’ll be, for eternity
Haunting the deep blue with me.

Now this is what I call bad. Study and learn, all you quality compulsives.

[Granny5]

Young motherhubbard
Went to her cupboards
And took off all the doors
She sanded them down and
Painted them cream and
Put them back on again
Now when Motherhubbard
Goes to her cupboards
She sees them pretty and new
Except for bottom ones
Which she forgot to do



I don't think you can get much worse than this:


You take my breath away
Every time you walk in my door
Since the first time I saw you
I just wanted more and more
You set my soul free
To be as I want to be
You set my heart tripping
With each kiss
My mind is a flipping
Now stop you old man
That’s my money you’re tipping
That pretty waitress with

[blp]

Why does the life of a human hurt so?
Why must there be such pain?
Why is there so much we have yet to know?
Why is there snow, draught, hail and rain?

I tremble for the suffering of the world
the longuers, the wounds, the agues, the sorrows.
Oh why oh why are we into this maelstrom hurled?
When will we look forward to painless tomorrows?

I don't think you can get much worse than this:


You take my breath away
Every time you walk in my door
Since the first time I saw you
I just wanted more and more
You set my soul free
To be as I want to be
You set my heart tripping
With each kiss
My mind is a flipping
Now stop you old man
That’s my money you’re tipping
That pretty waitress with

You're right! It sucks beautifully.

[Granny5]

Why does the life of a human hurt so?
Why must there be such pain?
Why is there so much we have yet to know?
Why is there snow, draught, hail and rain?

I tremble for the suffering of the world
the longuers, the wounds, the agues, the sorrows.
Oh why oh why are we into this maelstrom hurled?
When will we look forward to painless tomorrows?



You're right! It sucks beautifully.

Why, thank you blp.

[blp]

Oh how I love to write.
Truly, it is my life. I write
verily, to breathe, to be, in short,
to express the essence of my soul.

[Riesa]

I actually kinda like that one, blp.

My head aches so,
At the thought that you did go,
And never once looked back to here my sighs.

You reached up and plucked the sparkles from my eyes,
With your unshaved chin, and bad boy grin,
My mother tried to tell, me, “child; wait for love, don’t chase it!”
But I wouldn’t listen, no!

so,
Now,
I’m filled with woe.

Why does the life of a human hurt so?
Why must there be such pain?
Why is there so much we have yet to know?
Why is there snow, draught, hail and rain?

I tremble for the suffering of the world
the longuers, the wounds, the agues, the sorrows.
Oh why oh why are we into this maelstrom hurled?
When will we look forward to painless tomorrows?

[blp]

I actually kinda like that one, blp.

Which? The one of yours I made an object lesson in badness? Sorry.

By the way, congratulations on being the first to use the 'did+verb' past tense construction – surely the hallmark of bad poetry everywhere.

[Riesa]

Which? The one of yours I made an object lesson in badness? Sorry.

No. Of that I was quite proud! these are so much fun, great idea, blp.


this is what I kinda like:

Oh how I love to write.
Truly, it is my life. I write
verily, to breathe, to be, in short,
to express the essence of my soul.

I agree, SleepyWitch's poems are outrageous! very funny and creative. I'm loving them.

[AimusSage]

Robot Poetry

Designation 43951 dash 7.
The seventh revision
Out of a million bugs
only a gazzilion left.
I am 43951 dash 7
And have a blue screen of death.
Do you want to report me?

[Riesa]

I sit and watch the stream trickle by me,
Comforted by the glare of the roses
Floating like strumpets down a dark alley,
Selling their wares, to all the unaware. The red
Of the roses singes my soul with warmth,
I melt remembering how I once was young
And fresh as a daisy, like the roses.
The wet roses that drift so, are unaware of the danger lurking
Just down the bend, perhaps a waterfall, or a dinosaur hole,
Will suck them in, or maybe a trout, will decide to eat one.

Just like life.

[SleepyWitch]

Young motherhubbard
Went to her cupboards
And took off all the doors
She sanded them down and
Painted them cream and
Put them back on again
Now when Motherhubbard
Goes to her cupboards
She sees them pretty and new
Except for bottom ones
Which she forgot to do

hahahahahahaha, that's so hysterical

I actually kinda like that one, blp.

My head aches so,
At the thought that you did go,
And never once looked back to here my sighs.

You reached up and plucked the sparkles from my eyes,
With your unshaved chin, and bad boy grin,
My mother tried to tell, me, “child; wait for love, don’t chase it!”
But I wouldn’t listen, no!

so,
Now,
I’m filled with woe.

if I read one more poem like this I'll become hyperactive

Sorry, but this is genius. 1 out of 10 for badness. 1/2 even. 'All the penguins in paradise / sing the soft shutting of the freezer door / made by your gap-toothed smile'. What's not to like?

praise from the master himself I'll be insufferable pleased with myself for the rest of my life!
by the way, what do you think of my Ode to Spock? doesn't it deserve 10 out of 10 points for tacky rhymes?

[AimusSage]

Bah, all of you are doing quite poorly in terms of bad poetry