To change or not to change?

[Demona]

Hello to all once again
Thank you very much for your responces and opinions and stories of your families. This is all very interesting and valuable. :

ok.. what if you change your name to fit in.. what if people somehow find out you are an immigrant or descendant of immigrants, anyway? will your name make any difference then? they will still discriminate against you and be even more suspicious because you have changed your name. they will think you are working under cover to infiltrate their society.

I don't really think that things are that serious as to think that someone is trying to infiltrate a particular society. But some individuals might as well think that as well...heh.

plus, if people don't like/accept you the way you are, would it really help to change your name? if they like you afer you change it, would it be really "you" they like or would it be an illusion?

having said that, I suppose it's easier to preach than to live what I said.

would you mind telling us what country you live in?

I'm from Estonia. But I moved to Russia a couple of years ago and am very happy about it. The problem that I attempt to bring disscussion to is not so much about the attitude of the natives, which is absolutely their own business, but rather that of the minority to their own heritage. For example, my friends, who want their daughter to go to an estonian school don't really think it will be easy for her to socialize with the estonian kids if the girl will stick to her family name. You know....kids are kids and sometimes they are cruel...that's understandable... They want her to speak both languages well, Russian and Estonian (none of the parents is Estonian, but they both speak Estonian well) so dad speaks with her in Russian and mom in Estonian....with a 1.5 year old...just to be worth enough for the society...

...another friend changed both her name and her surname...I find this all very very sad...

Personally, I would stick to my name. What I did actually. Changing one's surname won't make one an Estonian, would it? so why bother? On the other hand it`s not really pleasant to feel some sort of a second-rate citizen, experience dificulties at work, etc. I'm not saying that it is a mass situation. Of course not. But there are cases....

Racism is present regardless of how unfair or irrational...so there is a justification for a name change, just not one with good implications.
but for example if my familay name was crapeater or crapistehsexy I would consider changeing my name
...or if my family name was mussolini or hitler...I would probably consider changing it too.

That's totally another story. Most of the people would probably agree with on this one.

Demona, it's hard to give an opinion without knowing what the ramifications are. If it's only a certain uncomfortable feeling then I would recommend you bear it out. Personal pride in one's heritage counts for something; it's your identity. If there are physical, perhaps even violent, ramifications, then it might be prudent to change one's name. But for me it would have to be that serious a ramification to change. My parents were immigrants to the US, and while I'm hardly the only person of Italian ethnicity in the US I can't say it's affected me in anyway.

I'm glad to hear that people still value and are proud of their heritage. I think nowadays when so much mixing of nations goes on this is especially important. People tend to lose their identity and don't really think it's such a big problem...

i think i get what you mean Demona. I'm Irish, i've been born and raised in Ireland, I've learned the native language even though 95% of the country speak English as it's first language, but my sirname is British. A lot of people in Ireland Have Britiah Sirnames because of the Plantations, but some people, a small minority in the south, even today will call you a Proddy Brit because of your sirname.(i'm actually a catholic) I've even heard someone say that I'd polute their bloodline because there is British blood in me. But the thing is this... I'm sure a majority of the Irish Population have English blood in them, we were occupied by the british for 800 years for this not to be possible. Most of my Ancestors have been here for four, five hundred years, and some of my ancestry is Irish. Does that not mean that i have the right to call myself Irish, regardless of my name? And i shouldnt have to change it to the Irish Nic AnRoai.
At the end of the day i'm irish. And nobody will ever make me feel any different.

You have a long family history. I wish I could track my family tree that far! anyways, I see your point and suport it in every way!

[SleepyWitch]

I'm from Estonia. But I moved to Russia a couple of years ago and am very happy about it. ..............
Personally, I would stick to my name. What I did actually. Changing one's surname won't make one an Estonian, would it? so why bother? On the other hand it`s not really pleasant to feel some sort of a second-rate citizen, experience dificulties at work, etc. I'm not saying that it is a mass situation. Of course not. But there are cases....

i see... well... so you've already made your decision you just want to be sure it's the right one?

[Demona]

i see... well... so you've already made your decision you just want to be sure it's the right one?

No, it's not that. I moved because of the changes in my personal life: I married a guy who lives in Russia
But I would probably move somewhere anyway, now seeing how things go there...

[SleepyWitch]

No, it's not that. I moved because of the changes in my personal life: I married a guy who lives in Russia
But I would probably move somewhere anyway, now seeing how things go there...

hehe, I meant about your name

[Moira]

No, it's not that. I moved because of the changes in my personal life: I married a guy who lives in Russia
But I would probably move somewhere anyway, now seeing how things go there...

And didn't you take his surname?

[Demona]

hehe, I meant about your name

ah well, ok. I got it the other way then. But yes, in any case the decision is already made.

And didn't you take his surname?

I did. But it is the tradition I don't want to ignore.

[Shalot]

Before the days of caller ID and the do not call list, an unusual last name such as the Norwegian last name of my mother's family was really useful in weeding out telemarketers and unother unwanted calls. If they couldn't pronounce it when they asked for Mr. or Mrs, then you knew the caller was up to no good.

Of course, they could have said kind of casually, "Is John there?" but then of course, I could have said "John Who?"

Also, I think unusual last names are good. Diversity is good. Although, I have to admit, I think in some cases, where there are bad relations between the country and the said's person country of origin, then it could be bad for the person. (someone probably already said that but I didn't read everything)