Can boys and girls be friends?

[SleepyWitch]

hope this hasn't been done before:
can boys and girls/ women and men be friends, esp. when one of them is single? or will one of them start to romance the other sooner or later?

[bazarov]

They can be friends. It's very rare situation, usually when they know each other too long and too well.

[SleepyWitch]

too long and too well to feel attracted to each other? like brother and sister, you mean?

[papayahed]

I think so, but I had to rack my brain to come up with one guy I'm friends with that I haven't either dated previously or ended up dating as a result of being friends. But I was able to come up with one.

Then of course there are male coworkers that I have grown close too and that I consider friends, it's inevitable when you see someone everyday for years.

[Sir Chaucer]

May I present a view from a 1950's male?

Most definately men and women can be friends without the sexual aspect intruding and yes, that applies even where one or both are married.

For me, born in 1950, and having been abused in my early years and then bullied all the way through school, I find male/male friendship difficult to cope with (A matter of misstrust of any male)

However, I am at ease with most women and OK, there have been some friendships where I wished for sexual contact but recognised that such would be inappropriate and kept my feelings to myself. (But also remained friends!)

There is one extra point I will mention.

I am "straight" in my orientation but, the closest male friends I had had (2 of them) have been Gay. They knew of my preference and never intruded in a sexual manner, they were just really good people!

[BlueSkyGB]

Yes it is possible, I have two different friends that are of the opposite gender,
one that has been going on now for 20 years and another that is only about 2 years old..I believe that the circumstances determine what kind of friendship evolves.

[motherhubbard]

Many of my closest friends are men. One stands out above every other friend I’ve ever had. He was selfless and caring and did his best to take care of me during a time when I really needed someone to take care of me. I don’t know where I would be today if he hadn’t been there. Sadly, I was not such a good friend at that time and so the friendship ended. But if you’re still out there Clay, I still love you and appreciate what you did for me!

[SleepyWitch]

For me, born in 1950, and having been abused in my early years and then bullied all the way through school, I find male/male friendship difficult to cope with (A matter of misstrust of any male)

my boyfriend went through a similar experience, so most of his friends are female

However, I am at ease with most women and OK, there have been some friendships where I wished for sexual contact but recognised that such would be inappropriate and kept my feelings to myself. (But also remained friends!)

i like your attitude
i have lots of male friends and most of them never even dreamt of romancing me so I believe girls and boys/ men and women can be friends, too
but some guys really get on my nerves because as soon as you say "Hello" or "How are you?" they interpret it as a pick up line.
with most of them it's not even "sexual"... it's more like they are willing to start a relationship (even a steady one, I don't even mean casual sex or something) with the first girl who talks to them... it's really weird coz I tend to think you should get to know someone first before you figure out just how much you like them...

[Lote-Tree]

hope this hasn't been done before:
can boys and girls/ women and men be friends

Yes. I have women friends.

, esp. when one of them is single?

Yes. I have them kind of friend too.

or will one of them start to romance the other sooner or later?

You can't stop the Love Thing happening. No matter how hard you try.
But you can control the sexual aspect.

[Turk]

Friendship needs to destroy some walls between people without destroying those walls you can't be friend with someone. And if a man and a woman destory walls between each other, then either man or woman started to be a man or woman. I don't believe a man and a woman can really be friend without losing some part of their identities.

[SleepyWitch]

interesting thought, Turk...
but what if man and woman are a couple? wouldn't that mean they lose part of their identity, too?

[Turk]

That's different. If they are couple, they shouldn't have any walls between them, because there's love. I am talking about two possible result of being friend with opposite sex, destroying walls between a girl/boy will make you fall in love with her/him or losing a part of you gender identity.

[SleepyWitch]

ok... i see...
why would they lose part of their gender identity? you mean because they'd do activities together that are normally typical of only one of the genders? like the boy would have to go window-shopping with the girl and the girl play rugby with the boy? or do you more on a more abstract or psychological level?

[Turk]

So simple. If you put a boy between girls and raise with girls (that happens especially boys who have 4-5 sisters) he'll be like girls, because human affected from other people he spend his time. Also men and women are different even though capitalism (and inventions of capitalist economy such as feminism) tries to make 'em single gender, single workforce and single consumers. Plus friendship is one of those things which gives us our moral/psychological shape.

Also don't oversimply; i am not telling girls would play rugby or something like that; but for example my friends has some female friends; sometimes they join us; and they have to hear slang and manly jokes of males. I really don't like it; though i expect an individualist-selfish western person may tell me "it's their choice, not yours" i still don't approve it. That's making them lose their gender, i am not telling they are turning to man; but i am telling women should be like women (and now someone may tell me; "you can't stereotype people, everyone is free and everyone can be whoever they like to be").

Actually we should define friendship a little too, there's types of friendship; some is shallow like talking to someone, sometimes spending time with him/her, but here i am talking about true friendship based on understanding each other's thoughts and psychology.

[Virgil]

They can be friends. It's very rare situation, usually when they know each other too long and too well.

It's not rare. Adults have many opposite gender friends. It's young people who don't, probably becuase of over active hormones.