Tell Me A Joke

[SleepyWitch]

There are only 10 kinds of people
those who understand binary and those who dont.

[Taliesin]

and there are three kind of mathematicians.
Those that can count to three and those who can't.

[dramasnot6]

and there are three kind of mathematicians.
Those that can count to three and those who can't.

I am most certainly the latter

[dramasnot6]

Why would I care about what Virgil would say? As you can see from the below he is long gone...Jack

Publius Vergilius Maro (October 15, 70 BC – September 21, 19 BC), later called Virgilius, and known in English as Virgil or Vergil

I must admit Virgil, youre a pretty fun guy to have around for being deceased.

[SleepyWitch]

and there are three kind of mathematicians.
Those that can count to three and those who can't.

that's even better

[Madhuri]

I must admit Virgil, youre a pretty fun guy to have around for being deceased.

He seems to be writing to us from heaven, I suppose.

[Virgil]

He seems to be writing to us from heaven, I suppose.

Heaven is lovely these days. You should come up and visit. Stay a while.

[Madhuri]

Thanks! But it will take me another 80 years or so, I guess, to reach there.

You should have read the joke in the previous page....hehehe...

[dramasnot6]

Heaven is lovely these days. You should come up and visit. Stay a while.

Send us a postcard Virgil! Im sure Heaven's postal service beats out UPS many times over.

[JackShea]

A quote fromn Virgil:"Heaven is lovely these days. You should come up and visit. Stay a while."

I think I have created a monster with my quote about Virgil. I demand royalties Virgil if you are asked to be on any talk shows!...Best...Jack

[Virgil]

A quote fromn Virgil:"Heaven is lovely these days. You should come up and visit. Stay a while."

I think I have created a monster with my quote about Virgil. I demand royalties Virgil if you are asked to be on any talk shows!...Best...Jack

Very funny Jack. If Oprah interviews me you can have the whole fee, not just royalties.

[cuppajoe_9]

In heaven the English greet you at the door, the French do the cooking, the Italians provide the entertainment and the Germans organise everything.

In hell the French greet you at the door, the English do the cooking, the Germans provide the entertainment and the Italians organise everything.

[Virgil]

In heaven the English greet you at the door, the French do the cooking, the Italians provide the entertainment and the Germans organise everything.

In hell the French greet you at the door, the English do the cooking, the Germans provide the entertainment and the Italians organise everything.

That is great. I think I've seen it before or something like it.

[SleepyWitch]

In hell the French greet you at the door, the English do the cooking, the Germans provide the entertainment and the Italians organise everything.

My dear sir, I must protest. We are a very funloving and entertaining people. There is plenty of evidence of that. Wait, I'll go look for it................................................ ..............................
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er?? Well,,,,,

[Scheherazade]

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW drives up in a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd:

“If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers:

“Sure. Why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says:

“You have exactly 1586 sheep.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep.”, says the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the shepherd says to the young man:

“Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep? ”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says:“Okay, why not?”

“You’re a consultant.” says the shepherd.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required”, answered the shepherd.

“You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don’t know c**p about my business… Now give me back my dog.”