Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Sancho]

Haha

Aerial Poopers have it in for the occasional jogger too. A few years ago I was running along, daydreaming, when I noticed a bunch of purple splotches on the path in front of me. This particular running path has a thick canopy of tree limbs overhanging the trail and the tree limbs are intertwined with wild grape vines. Here's how my mind processed the info: Hey! Scuppernongs are getting ripe. Hey! But those things shouldn't be dropping on their own yet. Hey! Those grapes must've been run through a bird first. Hey! Probably one of those birds up there in that tree right now.

And then...ZOT...one of the little bastards got me with a bio-bomb right on the bill of my running cap. It wouldn't have been so bad if there hadn't been two women in tennis outfits walking towards me. They saw the whole thing. Neither of them made much of an effort to hide their amusement.

In case you're wondering, a purple bird-poop stain ain't easy to get out of a white baseball cap.

[The Atheist]

The one which makes me laugh is the idea that being pooped on is lucky!?!?

I'll give you lucky.

When I was about 14 years old, I was at the races with my father. I'd got the first leg of a double and was watching the second leg, with my horse in front with 33 yards to go.

Right at that moment, a seagull overhead dropped one on me.

The horse stopped as if it had been shot and finished last.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It's been very wet here this January - the wettest since records began apparently. There's been a lot of "since records began" stats for the weather here...

All around the world. Coldest January in USA since 1342, wettest January in England ever, hottest January in Australia since convicts first arrived...

We're still in the midst of a long term drought. It would be nice if you could send some your rain our way.
There is rain in the forecast into next week.

Ouch. And if it's not weather, it's our feathered friends....

Nothing worse than trying to peer through the wiper smears on the windshield.

[Calidore]

In case you're wondering, a purple bird-poop stain ain't easy to get out of a white baseball cap.

Glass half-full: I'd rather have to clean it from a cap than my eyes or mouth.

[Paulclem]

I was bombed by crows from palm trees on a beach in Goa once. I could have sworn they were guffawing at me as well.

[Sancho]

^I'll bet they were.

A sea bird in Honolulu made a direct hit on my T-shirt once. It took me a while to figure it out. I went into the loo at Starbucks and as I was washing my hands, I looked in the mirror and saw the big, fish-scalely, white blob on my shoulder. Then I remembered all those people looking at me kinda funny earlier.

Q - Do you know what the white stuff in bird poop is?
A - Well, that's bird poop too.

[Paulclem]

Half term beckons and the 6 Nations is off to a good start. I managed to catch the England v Scotland match - the Jocks were sadly lacking last week. No attack.

Later on I was pleased to see Livferpool thrash Arsenal 5-1, which is fantastic as Arsenal were the leaders. I prefer it to be an open competition rather than the usual 2 horse race.

[The Atheist]

I should imagine the cricket establishment is very happy there's other sport on to take the spotlight off the unbelievably bad results in Australia.Not to mention the other tour fallout.

Rugby seasons have gone mad in the meantime, with Super Whatevernumberthey'reupto about to kick off at the same time as Six Nations is on.

Looks like France's tournament for the taking at this stage.

[Paulclem]

The brothers and I are talking about catching some superleague this Easter. The natural team to watch would be Wakefield Trinity Wildcats, as the quiet brother lives there. Also. I'd be able to see my old house. I could see half the pitch from the toilet.

Nothing sorted yet so we'll see. We might just go for a roll around Sheffield again - it was very convivial last time.

[Sancho]

Looks like a good old fashioned southern ice storm out there today. I just stood out on my back porch watching (and listening to) Mother Nature's pruning machine roar through the pines. A half inch of ice, a little wind, and the loblolly pine trees don't stand a chance.

I've got my generator gassed up and ready to kick in for when the tree falls over the power lines, but I'm not at all prepared to lose my internet feed. I think I'd rather have wifi than heat.

Oh yes, also we've laid up a few extra six-packs.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

... A half inch of ice, a little wind, and the loblolly pine trees don't stand a chance....

...Oh yes, also we've laid up a few extra six-packs.

Them Loblolly's 'bout as brittle as a toads tongue in Death Valley.

I was thinking about you the other day after hearing of the mess that headed your way.
A sure fire means of get'n through sump'n like that is half 'n half Drambuie an Baileys' Irish Cream warmed in the oven just shy of bubblin.

[Sancho]

It all worked out. Our power stayed on, which surprised the livin' bejesus out of me. I was ready to fire up the generator and invite all the neighbors over for a jump-naked party. Anyway, we wound up holed up in the house for a couple of days, memorizing jokes out of Captain Billy's Whiz Bang.

[prendrelemick]

Just watching that board cross from Sochi, those women are completely bonkers! My favourite Winter Olympic sport ever, figure skating it ain't.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Ever since Franz Klammer, it's been downhill for me.
I'm not current at the moment, are you referring to snow boarding? I agree - bonkers!

[Paulclem]

That downhill run a at Sochi is pretty scary. An ex-skier now presenter went down it with a camera to show the slopes. It's really long and very steep.

I was watching the 2 man Bobsled this afternoon. That looks like fun.