Alrightie, that makes it the 20th! I want to thank everybody who turned in their poems! Tomorrow I'll announce the winner, and throw some feedback around.
Cheers =)
Alrightie, that makes it the 20th! I want to thank everybody who turned in their poems! Tomorrow I'll announce the winner, and throw some feedback around.
Cheers =)
Orkses is never defeated in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fighting so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!
the old man
the glasses and the tan
ages never stand
the experience of time
but what it does
is show emotions
to slow
growing is blow
taken with a bow.
sorry if this is late but I thought I post it anyway!!!
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
I've come a long way with my feedback and winner, but I'd want to write proper feedback, so I'll have it up by tomorrow. That way I am sure I wrote something proper, in stead of something half-arshed. I like the poems a lot, and I want to give back equally good feedback. =)
I'll include your entry as well, Cacian!
Orkses is never defeated in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fighting so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!
Awrightie! Here we go. Bare with me if you think the feedback, or.. well.. My opinion, is complete bollocks, this is the first time I really state my opinion on several poems. I tried to capture how the poems made me feel, and what I liked about them.. If any of you wish any more thoughts on the poem, do not feel shy about asking me why I thought certain things, or whatever-the-hippo.
Here we go!
Daracv
Dara, I liked the way your poem spoke to me. The thought behind it, or at least the thought that I got behind it, I found to be a very interesting one. It was interesting, and and calm, peaceful read at the same time. Maybe I’d have liked it to be a bit longer, because I was really enjoying your tone and thoughts. I especially liked Coming-of-age feeling it gave me. =)
Yesno
Yesno, your poem came across as strong and compact. I thought it was original, and the rhyme was entertaining and somehow captured the picture well. Especially the last line, I thought, was very strong. The rhyme and alliteration that popped up stood very strong, as well. Well done =)
Mazhur
Mazhur, your poem I thought was a very strong, as well. It conjured up a great monologue in my head, a man wondering where time went. It fits the picture well, but also the feeling that the picture radiates. The words were well-chosen, and I liked the way it sounded. The chain-of-thought that seems to go throughout the poem I really appreciated. The comparisons were wonderful and well-chosen. I am also a particular fan of longer-ish poems, so I liked it a lot! Woop-woop!
Pendragon
Pendragon, I really liked your poem as well. I liked the choice of words, they complemented each other in a lovely manner and they made the sentences flow well. Some sentences seemed very strong to me. It had a nice, melancholic ring to it that I think fits the picture well. I also liked the sort of hopeful feeling you get near the end.
Prendrelemick
Prendrelemick, Your poem I thought had a nice refreshing tone. It wasn’t very melancholic, it sounded like a fond memory to me, that turned slightly bitter. The sentences flew with a nice grace, and the melody was very strong. The meaning behind the sentences, and the abtsract thoughts that they conjured up in me, I really, really liked. All in all, it sounded lovely, and the thoughts behind it I appreciated a lot, too.
I also thought that the length of the poem was perfect for the message and the tone.
Evo
Evo, I really, really liked your poem too. Ti was incredibly melancholic, and I really liked the tone in which you put that melancholy. It sounded hopeless, and sad, and it was very touching the way you conjured up those feelings. I really like the rhyming that is present, and found the words in italics really.. captured something. It was very nice. I also like the length of the poem, it seemed perfect for what it was trying to convey.
It seemed sort of refreshing to me, which I liked a lot as well.
Cacian
Cacian, a nice poem, as well. =)
I like how your poem took me several reads to fully appreciate. It’s concise, not too short, but strong in its size. I like the last two lines, which sound very dignified. Not melancholic, but simply.. Yeah, dignified. I liked it.
Well, now it's my burden to pick one poem out of all these lovely ones, which utterly sucks. They were all very nice, and I'd like to voice my appreciation over everybody that sent one in.
The winner iiiiizzzz..
Evo.
it was a very close shot between Evo and Predrelemick, both of whose poems spoke to me strongly in both form and message. Evo's poem had its own, strong, personality that spoke to me, which made it seem rather special to me. It seemed fresh, calm, and held that sad, melancholic vibe I was kind of lusting for when I posted this poem. =)
Once again, thanks to one and all for posting their poems! This was a blast!
Ta-ta!
Prose before bros
Orkses is never defeated in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fighting so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!
Congrats Evo!
===============-
When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones.
-(:===============
Rowan thanks and Evo congratulations!!!
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
Ow, waking up to good news! Thanks Rowan!
I must say that this was the most difficult poem to write for me 'till now, trying to come up with parallel sounding words (astounds him, drowns him, surround him, etc.) and making every line 8 syllables long (aside from near the end where it's cut short because everything vanishes).
Without further ado, let me post the next picture quickly, as I won't have time later on in the weekend:
Deadline shall be Saturday in two weeks, the 7th of December if I'm not mistaken.
Good luck everybody!
- Evo
Without any form of punctuation, our language would not say "I'm perfect"; it would say "imperfect".
"Access to works of art cannot be defined solely in terms of physical accessibility, since works of art exist only for those who have the means of understanding them."
Evo may I ask how you downloaded this picture?
nice by the way
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
How I uploaded it? Uuh well when I found it I opened the picture in a separate tab, created the post and clicked on "Insert Image" and put the URL in there while unchecking the box below it (forgot what it said but it would make some weird attachment out of it). Why do you ask? :o
Without any form of punctuation, our language would not say "I'm perfect"; it would say "imperfect".
"Access to works of art cannot be defined solely in terms of physical accessibility, since works of art exist only for those who have the means of understanding them."
Those Italics are great Evo - very effective. CongratulationsOriginally Posted by EvoWarrior5
ay up
Before the traffic on the bridge
He rides his horse. They face the sun
That's rising through the windows, trees,
And beauty is all that he sees
Though poverty's been overdone.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
oh thanks I ask because I never seem to be able to download any pictures for some reason.
it may never try
but when it does it sigh
it is just that
good
it fly
Horse riding
Going down hill,
The sound of Polly's hooves
always play the same tune;-
Di-dum di-dum di-dum di-dar
Some-day I'll-wish up-on a-star,
That,s from the Wizard of Oz,
the clippy cloppy bit,
Of Over the Rainbow,
Then I get to thinking about Dorothy
And Kansas, the Iron man.
The lion the witch - and wardrobes
At Ikea, with Mrs P,
Then sometimes her back foot slips on the stones
Kkerrach- dum- dum!
Ahh that's from the Nut Cracker
I think, and I think
I bet Tchaikovski was a horse rider,
And rode down hill over stones like these
Only Russian stones, at Nadezhda's estate.
Died of cholera,
Those Munchkins eh!
Follatheyellabrickroad.
Or was it Umpalumpa?
When we trot its like the clock
from Dark Side of The Moon,
Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock....
-No it was munchkins-
In my day
Everybody had Dark Side of The Moon,
With the prism and the rainbow,
On the cover, in my day,
Records smelt shiney and plastic,
(Is nut cracker two words?)
You'd buy it, take it out and look at the pattern of the grooves,
Why? Before you got it home. Why?
The pattern of the grooves-the patter of the hooves,
Both can carry tunes,
Ha! That's good, Polly's phonics!
I'll try and remember that!
And time passes and thoughts pass and miles pass,
And before you know it,
There's the Emerald city.
Last edited by prendrelemick; 12-08-2013 at 03:23 PM.
ay up
I love this site, it is a joy to hear new and creative expressions of rythme and meter. Your poem exemplified this EvoWarrior5 . Congrats!
thanks Rowan for the feedback too.
So here is my submission, I have to admit I recognized the name musician Avicci from the image file and watched the music video, so here it is good music inspired:
Crossing Bridges
Waking prepared,
before the dawn
I find myself gone searching.
For a future,
with a past far gone
by a bridge's favorable crossing.
To the sunrise I heave a sigh,
within my sights a city.
Be that where my destiny lie?
I’m carried on without pity.
My companion’s hooves prove
stronger than my heart
For my feet will often walk
in misdirection.
Crossing the bridge
with a dis-mountable start,
my passage
is ejected.
Now I must make
the decision on my own
by the strength
of my own conviction.
To the city,
fate unknown,
or back,
towards home,
my absence yet gone detected.
Last edited by dara.cv; 12-08-2013 at 03:19 PM.
Lone Survivor
The end descended in a hush of grey,
disquieting silence falls with a setting sun,
as ghosts the buildings which once stood
for vibrancy and life now stand still,
and only memories are left to haunt the streets,
a whisper of a former world, a mockery of the past,
while amid the ruins of former grandeur,
luxuries once so depended upon,
the lone survivor must revert to the days of yore,
rediscovering the primal which laid dormant
within for so long, now approaching the remnants
of a dead world within the mist of a solitude
broken only by the rhythm of hoof beats,
like heartbeats, it is the only thing
which reminds the lone rider that he is alive,
and not yet another phantom, a drifting shade,
an imprinted memory.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe
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