Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Paulclem]

I'm a bit behind.
Was it the painting comment that led to high art?
Who knows, now that you’ll be painting the Conservatory you may develop an appreciation for the high arts being around all those dancers and musicians.
Perhaps you can draw inspiration from Paolo Veronese’ frescoes.
A couple I think would go well with the allotment:

Prudence and Manly Virtue




Nobleman in Hunting Attire

We went for green again.

It took a few hours - most of those shifting stuff around and painting the edges you can't get with the roller. I'm ahead with the jobs.

[Paulclem]

Alas, the old Auntie's cat has expired. Henry - my wife had begun to call him skeletor as he looked so old and rough - was about 17. He'd had a good life, fed mainly on chicken and tuna with the free run of the Old Auntie's house.

I got a call yesterday from my wife to go over. my duties were to dig the grave in the flower border whilst my wife and son took him to the vet. Apparently, the vet didn't even examine him, but just decided on the look of him.

So I've painted the conservatory and put up the new blind - twice, (you know the story - she didn't want it there).

I'm currently digging up my potato crop. it's been all putting in the ground and taking out over the last couple of days.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

We went for green again.

Ahh, Neo Minimalism.
Good call.

Alas, the old Auntie's cat has expired. Henry - my wife had begun to call him skeletor as he looked so old and rough...

...I'm currently digging up my potato crop. it's been all putting in the ground and taking out over the last couple of days.

Sorry to hear the news about Henry, I suppose a fitting marker with proper epitaph is next on the list.
How's the potato yield this year?

[MarkBastable]

So I've painted the conservatory and put up the new blind - twice, (you know the story - she didn't want it there).

I was reminded of this. From a book...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looking through the kitchen window I could see the shed that Dad had built. The Condesa had been nagging for months about the bikes rusting in the side-return and the wheelbarrow being unsightly parked at the edge of the patio, so one day when she was out, Dad put the shed up as a surprise for her. When she got home he took her out to the garden, proud of his efforts. For a man who never really mastered scissors the successful erection of a shed was a remarkable and unprecedented achievement.

“It’s close outside the kitchen window, that ugly thing!” my mother said. “I don’t want to look at that all day!”

Dad bit his lip. “Well, it’s there now. I’m not going to move it.”

“Why not at the end of the garden where trees hide it?

“Look, you said you wanted a shed. You’ve got a bloody shed.”

“And the colour! So orange!”

“It’s new wood! That’s the colour new wood is! It’ll fade.”

This went on for about an hour. Actually, it went on for years. Whenever Dad mentioned how nice the garden was looking, the Condesa would say, “Yes, except your bloody ugly shed.”

I used to worry that my parents didn’t really like each other – they argued like this constantly. I didn’t know then that the terms of a relationship are a secret hex incomprehensible to any outsider.

[prendrelemick]

Mmm mine was one of those cup and toothbrush holders. I put it above the middle of the sink when it obviously should've been on the right.

And another thing! When there is a job that needs doing why does she keep reminding me about it every six months?

[Paulclem]

In the Old Aunties garden are buried Henry, Blackie, Blanc, Lassie and Sacha to my knowledge. There's probably more from the mists of time. My wife buried Blackie - a cat - but I had to re-bury him after he either:

1) Became undead and rose from the grave... but had left it a bit long and was in a bit of a state.

or:

2) A fox got him up as he was buried too shallow.

I kept the fox off/ kept him in his grave with a slab after his reburial.

The taties are doing great thanks. I've just got two rows to dig up. The rest are stored in bags in a cupboard. I'm pleased this year.

Well today was floor laying day. I decided to go cheap and put down vinyl tiles that are shaped like laminate flooring. They look good, keep the dust floating about for the vac, and can't be torn up by the dog. They are also very cheap.

Unfortunately, I ran out of a discontinued line, and, having checked with Mrs Paulclem, went ahead - alone - and got a different colour. Our lounge is now two tone. Mrs Paulclem has already informed me that she'll be ordering a more suitable colour off the internet to replace the contrasting light Maple tone.

So floor day will return sometime in the future. (My only consolation is that they were relatively cheap, but, being knackered, I was in no condition for the news). There's a pear cider in the cupboard.

[prendrelemick]

My Dad did our front room floor with free off cuts of industrial lino he picked up from a building site. The result was an interesting fusion of different shapes and colours - sort of Mondrain meets Picasso.

[Paulclem]

I bet that was brilliant. Style and taste is overrated. I'm hoping the contrast will grow on Mrs Paulclem. I don't hold out much hope though.

[Paulclem]

No, my hopes were dashed. It has been floor day 2, and the floor of the lounge is now a maple monochrome.It looks good - clean lines - but I preferred the two tone.

I had to rip up half the vinyl I laid ysterday, and then re-lay it in one colour. I'm knackered again.

On another note, Mrs Paulclem has instituted a sticker chart for the dog. The primary aim of this is to wind up our two children, but I have pointed out that todays eccentric behaviour may result in pushing the dog around town in a pram and calling it "my baby". If it gets to that stage though, there won't be any point wearing a "I told you so" badge.

[Sancho]

If you are lucky enough to have lived in Vegas as a young man, and been royally naked in the high-roller's suite with a bunch of babes, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Vegas is a movable feast.

Ah-hem, I may have borrowed some of that.

[Delta40]

Paulclem you should check out Michael Leunig's cartoon Awful aspects of spring - the new dog digs up the old dog.

[prendrelemick]

^

Our front field has 30 years worth of unmarked graves of beloved animals. I get very nervous when the latest is to be interred in case I dig up Don or Pod or Ginger. I don't mark the graves to discourage Mrs P from getting maudlin over a long dead guinea pig or cat.

[prendrelemick]

If you are lucky enough to have lived in Vegas as a young man, and been royally naked in the high-roller's suite with a bunch of babes, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Vegas is a movable feast.

Ah-hem, I may have borrowed some of that.

So that's why they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

It seems alot of fuss about nothing, I mean who hasn't played naked billiards with a couple of chicks in a Vegas penthouse.?

[Sancho]

Agreed.

Perhaps E.H. wouldn't mind too much if I add one more clause to his sentence.

... because whatever happens Vegas never stays in Vegas.

[Paulclem]

Paulclem you should check out Michael Leunig's cartoon Awful aspects of spring - the new dog digs up the old dog.

Excellent.

Nothing can convey the smell though.

Edit: just corrected my small to smell. Don't you just hate it when your off the cuff typed witticism is ruined by keyboard ineptness.