Gender Roles

[The Comedian]

Are we talkin' universal gender roles or unique ones (say to a family and to a culture)?

I live in a house with three females (two kids, one adult), and I open the pickle jars; I squish the spiders; I take out the rubbish; I split the firewood; I bait the hooks for fishin'; and I drink the beer. I also cook most of the meals, I share in washin' the dishes; I can fold laundry (though I'm really a complementary force, nor the primary one).

My wife works full time, makes (slightly) more dinero than me, cleans up after dinner, bathes and dresses the kids, does most of the kid shopping, and organizes the social agenda for the family.

While some of these roles cross traditional (1950s) gender roles, most fall in line with them.

Mrs. Comedian and I are both happy in our roles, gendered as they may be at times.

Universally, I think there's something to those traditional gender roles -- something that lasts. Sure there needs to be room for change and adaptation to changing events. But, here's the key: as long as one is not derided as inferior (as the female roles once were), then they're all necessary -- just jobs to be done.

C

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

We all display gender roles. It's impossible not to. Even if one strives to display a completely androgynous gender, that is still playing into that gender role.

[cacian]

Interesting subject I wonder if there is anything about it in the Bible seeing that it is written by men. There is everything else under the sun in it.
I personally do not believe in gender role I think it is down to personality and strength.
Who wears the trousers and all depends who is who. I think skills and organisation transcend gender.

[Helga]

and I open the pickle jars

I never give up on a jar! When it comes to strength I am so stubborn. I think I can do everything a man can. I just got a bookcase and I was putting it together and thought I could lift the back of it alone, well I did but I dropped it on my leg and when I did that I got so mad at myself for dropping it I kicked a table and hurt my leg even more... it doesn't look good but I managed to put the back in the case.

I don't know about gender roles, I think it should just be a compromise, one shouldn't do everything. I never let my ex do the laundry cause he wouldn't hang the clothes up in the correct order so I did it gladly. But then again he never did anything around the house.

I remember a friend of mine said that her boyfriend cleaned the car and she cleaned the house, I found that very very unfair.

I hate cooking so I would love meeting a vegetarian that loves to cook. Oh I have a dishwasher and there is a right way and a wrong way of putting dishes in it so I do that too.

to quote my buddy Shelly 'It's not my fault that the correct way to do things is my way'

[Paulclem]

I never give up on a jar! When it comes to strength I am so stubborn. I think I can do everything a man can. I just got a bookcase and I was putting it together and thought I could lift the back of it alone, well I did but I dropped it on my leg and when I did that I got so mad at myself for dropping it I kicked a table and hurt my leg even more... it doesn't look good but I managed to put the back in the case.

I don't know about gender roles, I think it should just be a compromise, one shouldn't do everything. I never let my ex do the laundry cause he wouldn't hang the clothes up in the correct order so I did it gladly. But then again he never did anything around the house.

I remember a friend of mine said that her boyfriend cleaned the car and she cleaned the house, I found that very very unfair.

I hate cooking so I would love meeting a vegetarian that loves to cook. Oh I have a dishwasher and there is a right way and a wrong way of putting dishes in it so I do that too.

to quote my buddy Shelly 'It's not my fault that the correct way to do things is my way'

A division of labour is he answer. My wife does most of the cooking. I do all of the washing up, (even when I cook - somehow). I am now allowed to put things in the washer, but my hanging clothes ability is looked upon with scorn and suspicion. (The "is he doing that on purpose to annoy me" type suspicion).

Gender roles are silly, don't you think?

What if I told you, your soul purpose is to wash my clothes, even though I have the ability to do so just fine. But it's your place, you have no rights outside of what I allow.

I own you, you are my property.

And I, as a man, serve the purpose of ownership. I am the leader, the king, the hunter. I bring the profit so that you can live by my rule, and be thankful about it. Surely you would burn if not for my compassion.


Yea, I feel sorry for the people who take that crap seriously. And I've heard it. It's the worst kind of defeat.

it's too simplistic. There are women who take control of the house - it's not just a one way street. I think it comes under a clause called "standards".

I think most people have a joint responsibility for day to day stuff, though there are no doubt still lots of cases of dominance by one partner.

[JuniperWoolf]

My gender roles are supposed to be cooking and cleaning, yeah? I don't mind cooking because the reward is good food, but I don't clean because I'd be perfectly content to live in a moderate mess (moderate because I don't have enough stuff to make my place truly messy). I don't know what I'd do if I didn't live with someone who didn't mind doing dishes, but I'd figure something out.

I never give up on a jar!

Haha, I once went knocking on doors on the first floor of my appartment building looking for someone to open a jar. I needed spaghetti sauce! The first three doors were two chicks and one guy who couldn't get it open either, but on the fourth door the rig guys living there took it as a challenge and pried a big hole in the lid with a screwdriver.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

My gender roles are supposed to be cooking and cleaning, yeah? I don't mind cooking because the reward is good food, but I don't clean because I'd be perfectly content to live in a moderate mess (moderate because I don't have enough stuff to make my place truly messy). I don't know what I'd do if I didn't live with someone who didn't mind doing dishes, but I'd figure something out.

Well, cleaning does serve other purposes aside from a person's junk out of disarray. Germs, dirt, all that.

Before my mom went to working part-time, my dad did 90% of the cooking and 100% of the cleaning. The only thing he didn't do the most of was the laundry. My mom made more money, too. These situations aren't at all out of the norm now. The idea of a woman's place being a homemaker is incredibly antiquated. A new trend is actually starting where women receive more backlash if they do decide to be a homemaker or stay-at-home mom, almost always from other women.

[JuniperWoolf]

Well, cleaning does serve other purposes aside from a person's junk out of disarray. Germs, dirt, all that.

Bah! Let death claim me, I ain't cleaning ****.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Bah! Let death claim me, I ain't cleaning ****.

Germs are a myth, anyways. Too bad musicology isn't still around. I'm sure he could tell us why.

[Darcy88]

Bah! Let death claim me, I ain't cleaning ****.

I have the same attitude. We have immune systems designed to kill germs. Unless someone works with lots of raw meat or works at a hospital germs should not be unduly avoided.

People got weak immune systems because they disinfect everything and then when they do encounter some bacteria they die. You won't die because you are not anal retentive about cleaning.

I have a mother who is super into cleaning and a father who is more chill about it. I take after my father. My living spaces are usually cluttered but not disgusting. Usually. Hahaha.

[prendrelemick]

I embrace bacteria.

[Babyguile]

A new trend is actually starting where women receive more backlash if they do decide to be a homemaker or stay-at-home mom, almost always from other women.

This is something Bill O'Reilly would say, or some other hack job conservative Republican on Fox News. Research shows that it is those women who choose to go out and work, rather than those who stay home with the kids, who receive society's scorn.

The idea of a woman's place being a homemaker is incredibly antiquated.

Is it? Then why do women still do the majority of the housework even though they and their partners may both be working full-time? Women up and down your country and mine are still toiling through that unpaid 'second shift'. It looks like you are speaking from your own perceptions of the world and not the bigger picture.

Before my mom went to working part-time, my dad did 90% of the cooking and 100% of the cleaning. The only thing he didn't do the most of was the laundry. My mom made more money, too. These situations aren't at all out of the norm now.

Did your mother work full-time before she worked part-time? If so, then the situation you go on to outline is the one which is not the norm. Usually the spouse who earns the most money affords the larger bargaining power when it comes to deciding who does the housework (men earn more = men do less housework), but in those rare situations when the higher earner is a woman, she will still find herself doing the majority of the housework. There are many reasons for this, and in fact many of them are comical.

I think modern men do finally understand the importance of chipping in and helping their partner out with housework, but very few men actually do it, and when they do help out they expect a reward. You can't expect big changes like gender role reform to happen across a generation, or even a few: Men are emotional, so when he has grown up watching his mother do all the housework, he learns from that situation and sees it as the norm, i.e. there exists a constant conflict between his modern sensibilities and his implicit sense of what 'natural' gender roles should be.

[Paulclem]

I'm not sure how you can know what women up and down the country do except from a limited anecdotal view - which may or may not be as you say.

In my anecdotal experience, the men I talk to seem to have come to a compromise about the jobs they do with their partners.

but very few men actually do it, and when they do help out they expect a reward.


Men are emotional, so when he has grown up watching his mother do all the housework, he learns from that situation and sees it as the norm,

There's no way you can know most men and judge what very few men do or think. In my opinion that's just another stereotype that's too simplistic to give any idea of what goes on.

There are tidy, lazy, busy, slothful, demanding, obsessive compulsive, hysterical, control freaky men and women.

[Helga]

Haha, I once went knocking on doors on the first floor of my appartment building looking for someone to open a jar. I needed spaghetti sauce! The first three doors were two chicks and one guy who couldn't get it open either, but on the fourth door the rig guys living there took it as a challenge and pried a big hole in the lid with a screwdriver.

I never give up, if I can't open it I use the handle on a spoon and jam it under the lid to let some air in, that makes it easier. but that is a kind of a funny house call, 'hey can you open a jar for me?'

[Alexander III]

Bah! Let death claim me, I ain't cleaning ****.

Well little lady, with that attitude you will never find yourself a respectable husband.