Personal and Anonymous

[The Atheist]

No, a thousand times no!

She cannot blame herself in this situation.

Regardless of blood ties, there comes a time when we must say "Enough!" Each person must live his or her own life, and your mother could not have been in a position where she dedicates her life to her brother - she clearly has other, and more compelling responsibilities. She clearly tried, but sometimes it isn't enough to create change and we must accept that some people are flawed beyond any help.

Your mother is to be commended for trying, not chastised for failure.

I speak as one who ended up kicking my own son out. Sometimes, it's the only way.

[papayahed]

No, a thousand times no!

She cannot blame herself in this situation.

Regardless of blood ties, there comes a time when we must say "Enough!" Each person must live his or her own life, and your mother could not have been in a position where she dedicates her life to her brother - she clearly has other, and more compelling responsibilities. She clearly tried, but sometimes it isn't enough to create change and we must accept that some people are flawed beyond any help.

Your mother is to be commended for trying, not chastised for failure.

I speak as one who ended up kicking my own son out. Sometimes, it's the only way.

Agreed.

[JuniperWoolf]

Well, I've never had any dependants so I wouldn't know anything about what she should have done with her brother. I'll just talk about what I know, which is the people who are talking about your family.

A couple of really bad (and untrue) stories have gone around town about my family, especially in the 90's. It sucks. Every time you go into the grocery store, you feel like people are staring and that after you leave they're talking about you. The worst part is, they probably are. Boring people without lives try to compensate by talking about the lives of others.

Depending on the size of your town and how close your neighbourhood is, you might sometimes overhear people talking about your mom and your family. If you do, try not to freak out because that'll just start another round of gossip.

"Why did Robin punch Crystal in the face?"

"Oh, didn't you know? A couple of years ago, Robin's mom blah blah blah..."

Also, don't try to correct them because people will (seriously, trust me on this) believe the most interesting story. They don't care about what's true, they care about what gets them noticed when they're out drinking coffee with their hag friends. Trying to correct them will only bring on fake condescending pity which is infuriating.

My advice: just ignore it. After a couple of weeks (or years, depending on the severity of the rumour and how dull your town is) people will get bored and start talking about someone else.

[Scheherazade]

The OP:

Are there any problems or dilemmas you face?

Choices and decisions to be made?

Things you would like to talk about but you would like to remain anonymous?

In this thread we can talk about them.

Please PM the issues you would like to be discussed by Sunday each week

and

I will post them here (without giving your name) every Monday.

- I will keep your identity confidential and will not share this information with anyone.

- If I receive more than one PMs in a particular week, I will pick one of them.

- In your PM, please explain the issue the way you would like it to appear in the thread (I will be quoting directly without including your name).

- Please bear in mind that you may not always like the replies or reactions you receive in the thread as people will be offering their honest opinions.

- Those of you who give advice or offer guidance, please keep in mind that even though their identity may not be revealed, these will be our friends' problems and need to be dealt with uttermost sensitivity.

[Buh4Bee]

This is a very good idea and it's been around since 2008!

[Scheherazade]

This is a very good idea and it's been around since 2008!

All we need is some more letters coming in to keep it going!