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Thread: Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

  1. #4801
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    That's a French shovel. Unlike us hard working British shovellers, the french preferred to put a bend in their shovel rather than in their backs. Also popular in Cornwall.


    You know, I have no idea how I know this stuff.

  2. #4802
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    That's a French shovel. Unlike us hard working British shovellers, the french preferred to put a bend in their shovel rather than in their backs. Also popular in Cornwall.


    You know, I have no idea how I know this stuff.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzn3KaO2Vyk

    Shared heritage - shovels.

    Well I'm glad of the bend in it. My back was killing me after digging another bed for my taties. I put another 3K of charlottes in today.

    The ground in the new half of the allotment has a lot of couch grass. Apparently the old guys call it twitch, though there's no indication as to why. Perhaps it makes them twitch.

  3. #4803
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Oh God, I think I know that as well. I have become Eric.

    A twitch is a short lengh of rough twisted home made rope, usually made of straw, coiled up round your hand and used to rub down horses. It has other ropey/stringy conotations too.

    The roots (rhyzome) of couch grass resemble a hairy rope, or indeed are strong enough to be used as string
    Last edited by prendrelemick; 05-09-2011 at 01:41 AM.

  4. #4804
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    Oh God, I think I know that as well. I have become Eric.

    A twitch is a short lengh of rough twisted home made rope, usually made of straw, coiled up round your hand and used to rub down horses. It has other ropey/stringy conotations too.

    The roots (rhyzome) of couch grass resemble a hairy rope, or indeed are strong enough to be used as string
    That's brilliant. I'll be able to tell the woman on the committee who was wondering about it. They do resemble hairy rope. I've got piles of it where I've dug out the beds.

    Thanks Mick.

    By the way, have you heard the expression:

    "Tha'll go to mass" as a kind of threat? My Dad used to use it, and in the book club we've come across "By the mass" as a mild cuss.

  5. #4805
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    I discovered a new tool today - or rather I began to appreciate its fine design.
    I can taste those spuds already!

    Can you use glyphosate on the allotment? A bit of that around the edges will make your life a lot easier!

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    They do resemble hairy rope.
    Crikey, I'd be careful who I said that to!
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  6. #4806
    Justifiably inexcusable DocHeart's Avatar
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    Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

    Anonymous
    Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine...

  7. #4807
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    I can taste those spuds already!

    Can you use glyphosate on the allotment? A bit of that around the edges will make your life a lot easier!



    Crikey, I'd be careful who I said that to!
    I could, although I don't want to. It's hard work keeping the grass and weeds down - and I'm still digging the second bit, so I haven't done that much. I'll get the strimmer on it next week hopefully.

    In the long term, I hope to put down that black weed suppressant material with gravel perhaps on the paths. I think we're a way away from that though.

    The maincrop is just coming through too. I was chuffed with last year's crop.

  8. #4808
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocHeart View Post
    Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

    Anonymous
    Always liked that one!
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  9. #4809
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    The maincrop is just coming through too. I was chuffed with last year's crop.
    So, we should be ready in about 10 weeks?

    Send my dinner invite; I'll get flights organised now!
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  10. #4810
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocHeart View Post
    "Yes" is the answer.

    Anonymous


    Not tonight dear, is often the answer I get.

  11. #4811
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    So, we should be ready in about 10 weeks?

    Send my dinner invite; I'll get flights organised now!
    It'll be barbie time in England - unless we've had summer already. A few baked potatoes and whatever you want. We'll get Parker to buy a few barrels in.

  12. #4812
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    In my shed?!! I hope he brought his own bed. The floor is a little... earthen.

    I also hope he hasn't been into my spiced rum. A bloke's got to have a nip in his coffee on a busy day.
    No doubt he's laying on his little wool kilt, finishing off that spiced rum right now; what say we take our shovels and hoes and storm the shed

    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    Ey up Paul, if you tune into the Challenge
    Cup match this afternoon, you may see me in the crowd. Look for a, burly, bearded, balding, bloke in a Halifax shirt... only problem is, that just about discribes everyone who'll be there.
    Aye, I saw you, you were the furry bloke mooning the cameras

    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    I thought everybody had dressed like you because it was a special occasion!
    That's why he had his initials shaved on his...ar.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    I discovered a new tool today - or rather I began to appreciate its fine design. It has a long shaft - rough for a firm grip, with a rounded end that bends at the end. Yes - it's a potato spade. I'd never heard of one before, and wondered what it was bequeathed in the shed. I suspected that the fellow had been of giant proportions, but no I was wrong. Vic - in the allotment shop - informed me that it was a potato spade and very useful.

    So I tried it today, and he was right. The bend in the shovel end ploughs the earth over the potato leaves to earth them up in a very easy motion. The length means that I can reach right into the middle of my rows. Brilliant.

    That beautiful patch of raw earth brings tears to me eyes...

    Quote Originally Posted by DocHeart View Post
    Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

    Anonymous
    Somebody give this man 20 lashes, don't you know you never put "sex" as a question...the earth would still not be peopled

  13. #4813
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post



    Aye, I saw you, you were the furry bloke mooning the cameras



    That's why he had his initials shaved on his...ar.....



    :

    No that was my face

  14. #4814
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    No that was my face


    Would that self-assfacement?

  15. #4815
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocHeart View Post
    I've had one of the worst Mondays of my career.

    Last one this bad was when I was 18. During a summer job cleaning swimming pools on Corfu, a waiter thought it would be funny if he substituted the big plastic bottle of pool detergent with a similar one that contained diesel. Then I broke his face with a punch, but also my own finger. After being treated by a fat guy who seemed to take pleasure in resetting bones and causing his patients unspeakable pain, I got arrested for assault and was sued by the hotel owner for losing him revenue (he had to close the pool for two days). My parents flew out to get me out of a cell and back home.

    That was 20 years ago. Today was a little worse than that.

    Hey Jack. Get me a double Teacher's. Not too many rocks.
    Punching a waiter in the face is never good even if he did try to poison you, and getting bailed out by your Ma and Da is reprehensible. Perhaps the poor guy was simply trying to point out your youthful errors i.e. drinking Jack Daniels. Atheist, standards are slipping. Am I still in purdah, the Teachers reference was badly misunderstood and I am a PALE shadow of my former self? We are not a bad bunch to have on your side.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyiLfSHSqds
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

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