Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[The Atheist]

I doubt if any of the bible belt blokes would want to tangle with a rough, tough, NZ bloke like you; remember, our folks get their brawn from potatos and beer.

And guns.

Rule #1 of blokedom is "Don't do a Peter Blake and take a pop-gun to a machine-gun fight." The bigger you are, the bigger target you are!

and many other cliches...

Not own a microwave, oh my god, what do they eat when they come home from school...no microwave pizzas, little microwave potato skins...

Usually fruit plus a sandwich or crackers. I would be the first to admit that our children are somewhat weird. They are one set of very few kids that don't take pre-packaged lunches to school and then have them after school as well. ("She" is taking one of daddy's home-made meat and vegetable pies to school today.)

They had some chocolate at Easter.

Now, at least down here, there seems like there is more property than renters; I don't know about the rest of the country. Most of the buyers a few years ago were from out of the country and then they have a management person or company to run the day to day operations. I don't know how much they clear after paying a middle man though.

That's the story everywhere. It raises the question to me: where the hell did everyone go?

I have to assume that these properties were occupied at some time, so where are all the people displaced from all the hundreds of thousands of vacant properties? Moved in with other family members?

I've had one of the worst Mondays of my career.

Mate, that doesn't sound good.

I'll get Parker to fix you a stiff one.

Last one this bad was when I was 18. During a summer job cleaning swimming pools on Corfu, a waiter thought it would be funny if he substituted the big plastic bottle of pool detergent with a similar one that contained diesel. Then I broke his face with a punch, but also my own finger. After being treated by a fat guy who seemed to take pleasure in resetting bones and causing his patients unspeakable pain, I got arrested for assault and was sued by the hotel owner for losing him revenue (he had to close the pool for two days). My parents flew out to get me out of a cell and back home.

That was 20 years ago. Today was a little worse than that.

Hey Jack. Get me a double Teacher's. Not too many rocks.

Please, "Parker", not Jack. We have a few standards to uphold!



And going by that now being the second-worst day, this one must have been a doozy.

Good luck with it!

[DocHeart]

Please, "Parker", not Jack. We have a few standards to uphold!

That's what I meant. Parker. He's a good man.

[The Atheist]

Glad to see you're still.....

here!



Post more! Someone from where the sun shines more than not's always a good thing - the rest of us, apart from Sound, live in cold, damp places. Bring the sunshine!

That pic works, I imagine Sound will be on her way shortly.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...Post more! Someone from where the sun shines more than not's always a good thing...

.

[prendrelemick]

^How things have changed for Marlboro Man.



Hang on Atheist we're having a drought here in sunny Britain.

[Janine]

.

Gilliatt, really funny! This post card reminds me of the 'Rabbit Proof Fence' story in Australia - ever see how many rabbits they now have? I heard all of them were imports. Now we have stink bugs - also an import - from China - and very undesirable. Seems there are no natural predadors for the 'stinky' bugs here in the US...yuk! I collect old post cards like this one - love that old painted photo look!

[The Atheist]

Hang on Atheist we're having a drought here in sunny Britain.

Yes, I see you guys have found the sun.

Bad time to have drought conditions, but I bet you already knew that. Spring was much the same here with many farmers struggling to make hay.

Gilliatt, really funny! This post card reminds me of the 'Rabbit Proof Fence' story in Australia - ever see how many rabbits they now have? I heard all of them were imports.

You can keep those stink bugs!

Yes, rabbits are a huge problem in NZ and Australia and yep, they all came by boat. Early settlers thought "Wouldn't it be nice to be able to go and shoot a rabbit every now and then?"

Alas, the rabbits liked our weather a bit too much and there are now billions of the damned things.

[soundofmusic]

I've had one of the worst Mondays of my career.

Last one this bad was when I was 18. During a summer job cleaning swimming pools on Corfu, a waiter thought it would be funny if he substituted the big plastic bottle of pool detergent with a similar one that contained diesel. Then I broke his face with a punch, but also my own finger. After being treated by a fat guy who seemed to take pleasure in resetting bones and causing his patients unspeakable pain, I got arrested for assault and was sued by the hotel owner for losing him revenue (he had to close the pool for two days). My parents flew out to get me out of a cell and back home.

That was 20 years ago. Today was a little worse than that.

Hey Jack. Get me a double Teacher's. Not too many rocks.

Sounds awful, so what happened today...tell us before Parker mixes one of his special memory obscuring specials...

Parker will always supply the drinks you need in this thread - no problem.

I hope the problems turn out ok,

Actually, I have a bone to pick with Parker; he hasn't been returning my phone calls and recently, I heard he's setting up housekeeping in Pauls shed with some young wench from up Jockys way...might be Mrs J's cousin...

And guns.

Rule #1 of blokedom is "Don't do a Peter Blake and take a pop-gun to a machine-gun fight." The bigger you are, the bigger target you are!

and many other cliches...



Usually fruit plus a sandwich or crackers. I would be the first to admit that our children are somewhat weird. They are one set of very few kids that don't take pre-packaged lunches to school and then have them after school as well. ("She" is taking one of daddy's home-made meat and vegetable pies to school today.)

They had some chocolate at Easter.

That's the story everywhere. It raises the question to me: where the hell did everyone go?

I have to assume that these properties were occupied at some time, so where are all the people displaced from all the hundreds of thousands of vacant properties? Moved in with other family members?

That's why your children have such wonderful skin and bright eyes; do the kids ever crave junk food?
What seems to be happening here is that multiple families are moving into single family dwellings or single family dwellings are being cut into small apartments.

.

Now that is my kind of cowboy...

^How things have changed for Marlboro Man.



Hang on Atheist we're having a drought here in sunny Britain.

Well, in my head, the 50's still rein supreme...

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

^How things have changed for Marlboro Man.

Yes, times have changed for Marlboro man. Now he smokes electronic cigarettes and keeps his USB battery charger in the saddle bag.

Gilliatt, really funny! This post card reminds me of the 'Rabbit Proof Fence' story in Australia - ever see how many rabbits they now have? I heard all of them were imports. Now we have stink bugs

Glad you enjoyed it, there's plenty more from where that came from.

Yes, I see you guys have found the sun.

Yes, rabbits are a huge problem in NZ and Australia and yep, they all came by boat. Alas, the rabbits liked our weather a bit too much and there are now billions of the damned things.

We have several cotton tails that roam our neighborhood and creek, but up to now, they haven't been too much of a bother.

...I heard he's setting up housekeeping in Pauls shed with some young wench from up Jockys way...

Now that is my kind of cowboy...
Well, in my head, the 50's still rein supreme...

Where is Jocky by the way?
Paul...was he in fact hanging out in your shed?
Have you even dared to open it?

If you like that kind of Cowboy, you should see my Uncle who lives out west. He rides a Jackalope.

.

[soundofmusic]

Yes, times have changed for Marlboro man. Now he smokes electronic cigarettes and keeps his USB battery charger in the saddle bag.



Glad you enjoyed it, there's plenty more from where that came from.



We have several cotton tails that roam our neighborhood and creek, but up to now, they haven't been too much of a bother.



Where is Jocky by the way?
Paul...was he in fact hanging out in your shed?
Have you even dared to open it?

If you like that kind of Cowboy, you should see my Uncle who lives out west. He rides a Jackalope.

.

Up until the rumors of Jocky in Pauls shed, I'd heard nothing of him. Aye, it must have been your uncle I was hollering at one night, there was a horrendous lightening storm and the jackalopes were all drinking whiskey and making love; I saw a feller in the saddle and I yelled out "Come inside you dade burn fool; but he paid me no mind; next thing I saw was his hair lighting up....

[Paulclem]

Up until the rumors of Jocky in Pauls shed, I'd heard nothing of him. Aye, it must have been your uncle I was hollering at one night, there was a horrendous lightening storm and the jackalopes were all drinking whiskey and making love; I saw a feller in the saddle and I yelled out "Come inside you dade burn fool; but he paid me no mind; next thing I saw was his hair lighting up....

In my shed?!! I hope he brought his own bed. The floor is a little... earthen.

I also hope he hasn't been into my spiced rum. A bloke's got to have a nip in his coffee on a busy day.

[prendrelemick]

Ey up Paul, if you tune into the Challenge Cup match this afternoon, you may see me in the crowd. Look for a, burly, bearded, balding, bloke in a Halifax shirt... only problem is, that just about discribes everyone who'll be there.

[The Atheist]

Ey up Paul, if you tune into the Challenge Cup match this afternoon, you may see me in the crowd. Look for a, burly, bearded, balding, bloke in a Halifax shirt... only problem is, that just about discribes everyone who'll be there.

I thought everybody had dressed like you because it was a special occasion!

[Paulclem]

Ey up Paul, if you tune into the Challenge Cup match this afternoon, you may see me in the crowd. Look for a, burly, bearded, balding, bloke in a Halifax shirt... only problem is, that just about discribes everyone who'll be there.

Ey up. Missed it. The daytime hours are when the TV is a no-go. I get it post 9pm when Mrs Paulclem and my daughter have retired to their boudoirs. Just read that they lost to Bradford. Pity that.

[Paulclem]

I discovered a new tool today - or rather I began to appreciate its fine design. It has a long shaft - rough for a firm grip, with a rounded end that bends at the end. Yes - it's a potato spade. I'd never heard of one before, and wondered what it was bequeathed in the shed. I suspected that the fellow had been of giant proportions, but no I was wrong. Vic - in the allotment shop - informed me that it was a potato spade and very useful.

So I tried it today, and he was right. The bend in the shovel end ploughs the earth over the potato leaves to earth them up in a very easy motion. The length means that I can reach right into the middle of my rows. Brilliant.