Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Emil Miller]

Here's another one tailor made for the Bloke's thread.


A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

[DocHeart]

Once, after trying the back door with a girl I don't remember, I went for a pee the next morning and noticed (with horror) two black dots on the tip of Mr. Mustang. Upon closer inspection, I discovered (with some relief) that they were watermellon pips.

[The Atheist]

... irridescent platform shoes ...

I wasn't quite as colourful, but did wear platforms all the time. At 6'3" to start, with 3 inch platforms and a girlfriend at 4'11" in flat shoes, I used to get a lot of looks of all kinds.

For some, the next match is even more important than the WC. Here, many are planning to take an off that day, just for the match.

If we can somehow beat the 'Lankans, both India & Pakistan might be too tired to get up again!

They were the first one's to beat Australia...

I'm arranging for the entire team to be knighted as we speak.

...that they were watermellon pips.

I'd be more disturbed to find watermelon pips!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Here's another one tailor made for the Bloke's thread.

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress...

...He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

Haha...great one Brian / Emil !!
btw, May I still address you as Brian?

Speaking of watermelon seeds, we typically have quite a few on the stoop just outside our back door during summer. We attempt to spit them over the backyard fence. Not sure if the Doc is referring to that type of back door.
Regardless, I thought I'd share that with you.

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[OrphanPip]

The joke is that the girl was a watermelon.

[prendrelemick]

I was later. In those days I was too poor to dress fashionably ie as a punk. It was back to drainpipes when I was about. We didn't have embarrassing photos with flaired hair and dandelion trousers, (or should that be the other way round?), but there were chafing problems.

You know many fashonistas and social commentators have written many words and articles on the moment when the 70's male stopped dressing like a peacock. They all have it wrong, I know, I was there. For us, living in Hull, it was Clint Eastwood in Every Which Way But Loose. The week after it was on at the local cinema it was denim drainpipes and market boots all round. Most of us still resembled the Orang utan rather than Clint.

[Emil Miller]

Haha...great one Brian / Emil !!
btw, May I still address you as Brian?

You can if you prefer it Gilliatt. I had it changed to my pen name because it seems more appropriate for a literature site. I should have used it in the first instance but I saw the name box and automatically entered my name. It was only when I took a closer look that I saw that virtually anything could be used.

[Paulclem]

You know many fashonistas and social commentators have written many words and articles on the moment when the 70's male stopped dressing like a peacock. They all have it wrong, I know, I was there. For us, living in Hull, it was Clint Eastwood in Every Which Way But Loose. The week after it was on at the local cinema it was denim drainpipes and market boots all round. Most of us still resembled the Orang utan rather than Clint.

I was laughing in the office at this. They're used to me now...

I have notoriously bandy legs - couldn't stop a pig in a passage - and also have been referred to as a simian type. Not hairy though - more... transclucent.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

A few relics I sported in my prime:

Earth Shoes



Chukka Boots



Bell Bottom jeans



I remember modifying a pair by cutting the seams up to the knee and inserting a triangular piece of colorful fabric to increase the bell diameter at the foot. They were tough to run in especially when the pants became saturated with beer or rain.


Bell Bottom anthem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKAYGVIkbok


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[Paulclem]

Haha. I dd the opposite. Opened the seams up the leg and sewed them in. By this time they were selling off flairs in the cheapo shops. If you didn't get it right though, you ended up with unsightly lumps at the knees. Yes, that was me.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Wow!
If the knock-knees were showing, you must have really taken the slack out!
Yeah, I caught the tail end of the bell bottom phase, I'm certain my mother was breathing a sigh of relief when the straight legs came into vogue.
One wash load could accomplish what used to take three!

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[The Atheist]

For us, living in Hull, it was Clint Eastwood in Every Which Way But Loose. The week after it was on at the local cinema it was denim drainpipes and market boots all round. Most of us still resembled the Orang utan rather than Clint.

You can if you prefer it Gilliatt. I had it changed to my pen name because it seems more appropriate for a literature site. I should have used it in the first instance but I saw the name box and automatically entered my name. It was only when I took a closer look that I saw that virtually anything could be used.

You know, it's taken me this long to figure it out. We need to have a system like the old banns before marriage - have it announced every Sunday for a month so people know who's who!

I remember modifying a pair by cutting the seams up to the knee and inserting a triangular piece of colorful fabric to increase the bell diameter at the foot. They were tough to run in especially when the pants became saturated with beer or rain.

Ah, but bell-bottoms had a huge advantage - which may not have been apparent to you.

To attend rugby games, one has to submit to searches of baggage and person to ensure no booze is carried into the ground.

Bell-bottoms and rugby socks; I could get a six-pack into the ground and nobody ever noticed. Those and hip-flask of scotch thrust deep in my undies and I was always set!

[prendrelemick]

Bell-bottoms and rugby socks; I could get a six-pack into the ground and nobody ever noticed. Those and hip-flask of scotch thrust deep in my undies and I was always set!

My Afro hairstyle could could do the same.

[Paulclem]

I used a catheter bag on the inside of my denim jacket, with a little hole for the pipe and tap with which to fill up my pot in pubs. I was a bit short of cash in those days.

[Madhuri]

In the finals