a little jot last night...

so it isn't perfected yet,but i couldn't sleep last night until i wrote it down,it stuck to me...:p

Pitter Patter,Pitter Patter,
softly against my window,
while i lay my head to rest,
Pitter Patter.

Splish Splash,Splish Splash.
lightly against the patio side,
even while my pen descends to paper,
Splish Splash.

Drim Drum,Drim Drum,
loudly against my roof,
just as i cozy up on my couch,
Drim Drum.

Drip Drop, Drip Drop,
falling from the sky,
each drop,making a soft melody,
soothing my soul,
Drip drop.

Pitter Patter,
Splish Splash,
Drim Drum,
Drip Drop,
coming together,
to make a melody so sweet,
it soothes all the pain.

Is the poem dedicated to children? Or just written for them. It is likened to a nursery rhyme. It has a beauty, something that soothes or appeals to kids. Beautifully written but is more suitable on the children forum.

Do not be discouraged and it demands great skills to write such poems, losing oneself to a world of children, in a dreamy world far from everyday realities.

like i said, it was just a jot down.
it was how i felt at the spur of the moment.

thank you for the complement though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

like i said, it was just a jot down.
it was how i felt at the spur of the moment.

thank you for the complement though.

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But they are different than the usual one and for that matter enthralling.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blazeofglory

But they are different than the usual one and for that matter enthralling.

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but you still think it's for the children's website?

Hi Beautifull!!

I really like your poem...and I love rainfall, so reading it made me pleased!

I would have to agree with blazeofglory, the poem has a certain childlike innocence to it, yet at the same time, it is very, very poetic...eg "each drop, making a soft melody, soothing my soul"...I love that line!

So, I think that it'd be a great way to introduce children to poetry!

[just as an aside - in one of my poems, I once referred to raindrops as 'window-water-diamonds'. I was inspired to name it thus as I waited at a traffic light. The rain had stopped, and the sun came out. The raindrops made these gorgeous shadows on the dashboard and my hands! I've been in love with raindrops ever since, I have the highest regard for them!]

wow!

yeah, i didn't start loving the rain until i went to a place where the rain didn't come so often and when it did...i loved it...the sound it made...the way it felt when i ran in it...and it was the luckiest of nights when i fell asleep just listening to it.and in reality, it does soothe a soul that needs it.

the rain is my favorite part...of anything really...and i'm glad someone else agrees with me!:D

oh! and thank you for the comment!:)

A very good use of onomatopoeia ( I'm not entirely sure I spelled that right). This is a lovely poem. I'm sure children would like it, but it doesn't have to be limited to them.

hmm.but nothing in poetry world is limited, everyone reads it, so i don't think i will post this on the children's.i'll leave it here...thank you...

Another jot in the spur of the moment.

I
a one letter word
But is used to describe each unto their own
but every once in a while,
it is used in authority.

I over we
I over plain little me
I over you.

though it is so self-centered,
I is used to describe more than that.

I can help you
I appreciate you
I love you...

I very much enjoyed both of your jot-downs, beauti. Very well done! ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

so it isn't perfected yet,but i couldn't sleep last night until i wrote it down,it stuck to me...:p

Pitter Patter,Pitter Patter,
softly against my window,
while i lay my head to rest,
Pitter Patter.

Splish Splash,Splish Splash.
lightly against the patio side,
even while my pen descends to paper,
Splish Splash.

Drim Drum,Drim Drum,
loudly against my roof,
just as i cozy up on my couch,
Drim Drum.

Drip Drop, Drip Drop,
falling from the sky,
each drop,making a soft melody,
soothing my soul,
Drip drop.

Pitter Patter,
Splish Splash,
Drim Drum,
Drip Drop,
coming together,
to make a melody so sweet,
it soothes all the pain.

---

i liked very much this one! made me float for a little while :D

thank you very much!
i'm glad you found a little floaty time while reading one of my poems, Walker!:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I very much enjoyed both of your jot-downs, beauti. Very well done! ;)

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do you really think so? thank you!
i was beginning to think that the first one wasn't so good...:sick:
but you made me feel better.:lol:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

do you really think so? thank you!
i was beginning to think that the first one wasn't so good...:sick:
but you made me feel better.:lol:

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Sure I do!
Welcome!
They are both very good! Really good! In fact I like them so much that they are already bookmarked... I mean it, really. ;)
Glad I repaired your spirit :lol:

:D awww...i feel honored that you have my poems bookmarked!!! :blush:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

:D awww...i feel honored that you have my poems bookmarked!!! :blush:

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:blush: Aw! I feel honored that you feel honored :lol:

:lol:....i feel honored that you feel honored that i feel honored!!:lol:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

:lol:....i feel honored that you feel honored that i feel honored!!:lol:

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And I feel honored that you feel honored that I feel honored that you feel honored!! .... :lol: Where's this gonna end, in a madhouse? :lol:

Jot, spot, jot spot,
I enjoyed both of these.
And I hope that writing them,
the first one especially,
did help to ease your pain.

:lol:...right now...it ends, okay i get that we both feel honored....madhouse indeed!!

the thrill of the wild pounding in your chest,
of having your head filled with daydreams,
to see that someone special everyday,
with anticipation of the next day,

"oh what will he think?"
"oh what will she think?"
you don't know what to think when they're here,
but perfectly clear when they disappear...

what will you do when you can't stop,
when all your mind is filled with is images?
when you finally realize that you are falling...


this was on another thread, but still mine...what do you think?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

:lol:...right now...it ends, okay i get that we both feel honored....madhouse indeed!!

---

Okay! :lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beautifull

the thrill of the wild pounding in your chest,
of having your head filled with daydreams,
to see that someone special everyday,
with anticipation of the next day,

"oh what will he think?"
"oh what will she think?"
you don't know what to think when they're here,
but perfectly clear when they disappear...

what will you do when you can't stop,
when all your mind is filled with is images?
when you finally realize that you are falling...


this was on another thread, but still mine...what do you think?

---

Cutie, supreme, outstanding and meaningful!
Thought about anyone special as an inspiration?

...maaaybe!:blush:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

...maaaybe!:blush:

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uh, huh!!! Gotcha! :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

uh, huh!!! Gotcha! :D

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oh no! i'm caught!:sick: :lol:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

oh no! i'm caught!:sick: :lol:

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:lol: one lucky schoolmate maybe?

maybe...okay, yes, he is...thoughi won't be able to see him for another month...summer vaca can be a pain sometimes!!!

how about you? any girl inspire you to write poetry?

here's one of my favorites that i posted a while back...

this is a poem i made up a while back....(it's a sonnet)


Roses are redder than daisies of white,
You are my bright and shining light,
Violets are bluer than the deep blue sea,
I just can't live without you,can't you see?

As the days of my life become longer,
My love for you becomes rapidly stronger,
And if my life decided to go on?
I would just have to drag you along.
I just can't live without you, can't you see?
You are the only one who can complete me.

In you gentle hands is where my heart lay,
And there is only one thing left to say...
I just can't live without you, can't you see?
I just hope one day you, too, can say you love me.

whaddya think?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

maybe...okay, yes, he is...thoughi won't be able to see him for another month...summer vaca can be a pain sometimes!!!

how about you? any girl inspire you to write poetry?

---

All ladies inspire me somehow, though I haven't found a specific one... yet :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

here's one of my favorites that i posted a while back...

this is a poem i made up a while back....(it's a sonnet)


Roses are redder than daisies of white,
You are my bright and shining light,
Violets are bluer than the deep blue sea,
I just can't live without you,can't you see?

As the days of my life become longer,
My love for you becomes rapidly stronger,
And if my life decided to go on?
I would just have to drag you along.
I just can't live without you, can't you see?
You are the only one who can complete me.

In you gentle hands is where my heart lay,
And there is only one thing left to say...
I just can't live without you, can't you see?
I just hope one day you, too, can say you love me.

whaddya think?

---

Wow, that feeling's strong enough! I wish I had a lady writing about me that way! :bawling:
Is he aware of it?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

All ladies inspire me somehow, though I haven't found a specific one... yet :)

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inspire how exactly?:goof:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Wow, that feeling's strong enough! I wish I had a lady writing about me that way! :bawling:
Is he aware of it?

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very...though it's not working the way i want it to...i don't think it is going to work...and that saddens me:bawling::bawling:

so i should find another...:sick: not really looking forward to it since my last two relationship just didn't work out right...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

inspire how exactly?:goof:

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I will soon post a poem about ladies. That will give you a perspective of my feelings towards the strong gender.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

very...though it's not working the way i want it to...i don't think it is going to work...and that saddens me:bawling::bawling:

so i should find another...:sick: not really looking forward to it since my last two relationship just didn't work out right...

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Sorry to know it! :(
You'll find the right person one day. Probably when you least expect it.
Be patient and keep the hope going! ;)

yep..i know that, i'm just impatient, trying to find it myself....

and i can't wait for that poem

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

yep..i know that, i'm just impatient, trying to find it myself....

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Mayhap you should let him find you ;) I can understand though; can't wait myself to be coddled :rolleyes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

and i can't wait for that poem

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Just gonna be a lil ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Mayhap you should let him find you ;) I can understand though; can't wait myself to be coddled :rolleyes:

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i can't wait to have someone to understand me...:confused: no one at my house seems to...
have you ever had a friend who knew how you felt, even though you hid it very well(or you thought you did)?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Just gonna be a lil ;)

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:banana:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

i can't wait to have someone to understand me...:confused: no one at my house seems to...
have you ever had a friend who knew how you felt, even though you hid it very well(or you thought you did)?

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My mom and dad understand me pretty well. Of course there are episodes of my life they can't understand because we are different, though these ones are quite insignificant.
Other than that, strange as it may seem, my closest people are on the Internet, and their physical location is pretty far away from me. I haven't found someone near that can be regarded as really near, 'cause people I have near are not really into the same matters I am. I couldn't talk to them about poetry for example, 'cause they don't seem to care at all. I don't mean to judge 'em but I seem to have found that they're rather ... shallow, so to speak :(

Anyway, if you need to talk about anything and can't do it home, I'm all ears. Serious talks are the ones I like best, much better if I can help :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

My mom and dad understand me pretty well. Of course there are episodes of my life they can't understand because we are different, though these ones are quite insignificant.
Other than that, strange as it may seem, my closest people are on the Internet, and their physical location is pretty far away from me. I haven't found someone near that can be regarded as really near, 'cause people I have near are not really into the same matters I am. I couldn't talk to them about poetry for example, 'cause they don't seem to care at all. I don't mean to judge 'em but I seem to have found that they're rather ... shallow, so to speak :(

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i understand completely...i find the greatest of friends on here...that's why i like this place...or site, or whatever it is!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Anyway, if you need to talk about anything and can't do it home, I'm all ears. Serious talks are the ones I like best, much better if I can help :)

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I WILL take that under consideration!!!:nod::D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

i understand completely...i find the greatest of friends on here...that's why i like this place...or site, or whatever it is!

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It's all that, and more ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

I WILL take that under consideration!!!:nod::D

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Okey-dokey, that's what friends are for, even in the far distance :nod:

you make me feel extra special...oops, gotta get off!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

you make me feel extra special...oops, gotta get off!!

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We feel what we are! ... mean you're going to bed? ... sleep tight, then!