Drug Problem!

Drug Problem

THE OTHER DAY, SOMEONE AT A STORE IN OUR TOWN READ THAT A METHAMPHETAMINE LAB HAD BEEN FOUND IN AN OLD FARMHOUSE IN THE ADJOINING COUNTY.

HE ASKED ME A RHETORICAL QUESTION, "WHY DIDN'T WE HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM WHEN YOU AND I WERE GROWING UP?"

I REPLIED THAT I DID HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM WHEN I WAS YOUNG:

I WAS DRUG TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY MORNING.

I WAS DRUG TO CHURCH FOR WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS.

I WAS DRUG TO FAMILY REUNIONS AND COMMUNITY SOCIALS NO MATTER THE WEATHER.

I WAS DRUG BY MY EARS WHEN I WAS DISRESPECTFUL TO ADULTS.

I WAS DRUG TO THE WOODSHED WHEN I DISOBEYED MY PARENTS, TOLD A LIE, BROUGHT HOME A BAD REPORT CARD, DID NOT SPEAK WITH RESPECT, SPOKE ILL OF THE TEACHER OR THE PREACHER, OR IF I DIDN'T PUT FORTH MY BEST EFFORT IN EVERYTHING THAT WAS ASKED TO DO.

I WAS DRUG TO THE KITCHEN SINK TO HAVE MY MOUTH WASHED OUT WITH SOAP IF I UTTERED A PROFANITY.

I WAS DRUG OUT TO PULL WEEDS IN MOM'S GARDEN AND FLOWER BEDS AND COCKLEBURS OUT OF DAD'S FIELDS.

I WAS DRUG TO THE HOMES OF FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND NEIGHBORS TO HELP SOME POOR SOUL WHO HAD NO ONE TO MOW THE YARD, REPAIR THE CLOTHESLINE,OR CHOP SOME FIREWOOD.

AND IF MY MOTHER HAD EVER KNOWN THAT I TOOK A SINGLE DIME AS A TIP FOR THIS KINDNESS, SHE WOULD HAVE DRUG ME BACK TO THE WOODSHED.

THOSE DRUGS ARE STILL IN MY VEINS, AND THEY AFFECT MY BEHAVIOR IN EVERYTHING I DO, SAY, AND THINK.

THEY ARE STRONGER THAN COCAINE, CRACK, OR HEROIN; AND IF TODAY'S CHILDREN HAD THIS KIND OF DRUG PROBLEM , AMERICA WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE.

GOD BLESS THE PARENTS WHO DRUGGED US!

long live English grammar...at least the way i understand it...

no! dont give them any ideals *covers parents eyes* lol unfortuanly ive found out on more then one ocasion that joy dishwashing liquid may smell like amazing lemons, but it doesnt taste like them:) and i no verry well the bend oveer and grab your ankles of the woodshed, only its the living room floor

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Originally Posted by stephofthenight

no! dont give them any ideals *covers parents eyes* lol unfortuanly ive found out on more then one ocasion that joy dishwashing liquid may smell like amazing lemons, but it doesnt taste like them:) and i no verry well the bend oveer and grab your ankles of the woodshed, only its the living room floor

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that sounds BAD. I hope they didn't ask you to squeal like a pig

lol not in that way.

You're not condoning spanking, are you?:sick:

yes i am...it HURT
but if i ever have kids i will probably spank them as well lol.
my parents said it was becasue they loved me
my veiw point...love me less
as long as it isnt me getting spanked im all for it...when its me i condone it
:)

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Originally Posted by genoveva

You're not condoning spanking, are you?:sick:

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Spanking your child is not against the law. Abusing them is. And spanking is not abusing

Please, steph and wizard, don't spank your children, if you should ever have any!

Spanking is abuse!

I have raised two children without spanking them, and they have grown into loveable, loving, successful adults. There is absolutely no reason for spanking a child. If you show your child from the very beginning that you love them and that you are serious about your values and beliefs and live them, then spanking will not be necessary. Violence creates violence. But be firm and consistent, so that your children know what is right and what is wrong. Of course a non-violent upbringing takes a bit more thought and effort, but it's worth it. Spanking is the easy, thoughtless way out.

I can understand in a way that you want to justify what your parents did. Children often do, even later, when they are grown-ups. They do not want to have suffered all the pain in vain, and they mostly love their parents and cannot understand that these people should have been wrong. Others just don't see why they should have suffered if they can't make someone suffer, too.

I appeal to you - don't torture your children. They don't deserve it!

This lady came into the store I work at...she was soooo wasted. Sorry, Drugs...

My mom said she spanked me once, and she felt so bad...she still feels bad. I wouldn't spank my kid...I don't like getting hit, so why would I hit them? Not that I get hit.

This poor boy, his mom kept flicking his head and his ears because he was talking...I felt so bad for him. It hurts when you get flicked on the ears...and I could hear it when she flicked him hard on his head.:(

spanking realy doesnt hurt your child, or it doesnt have to. i see no harm in a pop on the butt, when they are misbehaving. more then anything it hurts there feelings. i also firmly belive that a taste of joy dishwashing liquid will cure a child of telling lies. i do not belive in slapping your child tho. but a tap on the butt sends a good firm message.

maybe my parents where just strict.
but i got spanked, and grounded and if momma had to spank me when daddy got home he would for us making mom spank us, and if a teacher had to, our butts where mud. i have never acted out in school, im an "a" student and im the 3rd in my class. im the first freshman to go to nationals in debate from hallsville.

i see these kids disrespecting there parents, and i want to slap them. i have a respect for my parents and i couldnt dream of acting the way some of these brats do. yes i have a curfew, no im not allowed to go on a date by myself until im 16, yeah i have to keep my perment a yeear insted of 6months, no i dont have a cell phone. but my parents always know where i am, and they do that becuase they CARE. honestly if more parents would take time to be a PARENT then we would have less people in jail.

one last thing
IF YOUR GONNA SPRED YOUR LEGS, BE PREPARED IF YOUR PERGNAT TO BE A PARENT, BEING A PARENT MEANS THAT YOUR NOT ALWAYS YOUR KIDS BEST FRIEND BUT YOU DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM, AND THERE FUTURE.

sorry for being blunt. but if my child(if i can have them) ever does something major to get into trouble i will take a belt to there bottom as my parents did me. simple fact/ spanking is not abuse. trust me i know the diffrence between wearing bruises from abuse, and from being red for a few min from a well deserved spanking. i normaly got a spanking about once a year, and it was most likely from acting up in church, or just refusing to do what they asked, honestly my last spanking was forever ago. grounding is a better solution once your kids are like 9 and up...but other then that there is nothing realy to make them regret what the did. maybe im just a pain addict, maybe im just defencive to my parents. or maybe im just not a spoild brat too stupid and stuck up to see what my parents did for me.
steph

My dad was a pysco, scream his head off at me if I didnt have my socks on. He used to spank me over nothing and then there was some stupid stuff he did was a I was younger that he did in fits of anger over my sarcasim. But all in all he was a real dick

RR i understand what your saying, i grew up like that too, but child services scared the hell out of him and hes straitend up a lot here latley he still has problms with anger, and i alwayse seem to be in the way but i understand it. or at least i say i do. i throw myself into my school work.

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Originally Posted by barbara0207

Please, steph and wizard, don't spank your children, if you should ever have any!

Spanking is abuse!

I have raised two children without spanking them, and they have grown into loveable, loving, successful adults. There is absolutely no reason for spanking a child. If you show your child from the very beginning that you love them and that you are serious about your values and beliefs and live them, then spanking will not be necessary. Violence creates violence. But be firm and consistent, so that your children know what is right and what is wrong. Of course a non-violent upbringing takes a bit more thought and effort, but it's worth it. Spanking is the easy, thoughtless way out.

I can understand in a way that you want to justify what your parents did. Children often do, even later, when they are grown-ups. They do not want to have suffered all the pain in vain, and they mostly love their parents and cannot understand that these people should have been wrong. Others just don't see why they should have suffered if they can't make someone suffer, too.

I appeal to you - don't torture your children. They don't deserve it!

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I agree with you, Barbara. Spanking is the easy way out, and for sometimes it looks like it has worked but it can create bigger problems, can produce hatred in the hearts of children. I am quite against spanking!

I know someone whose father once beat the hell out of him (he must be about fifteen or sixteen then) for getting not very good marks (and hey, he did not fail), and from that time, that boy had been using a huge veil in front of his father. The boy had even refused to show his face to his father and I never in my whole stay at that house caught him talking to his father at all! I think he was quite normal in other ways but this part of wearing the veil really looked strange and hmmm well not too normal. But once I got to hear the story, it seemed understandable. Sometimes even in front of other people he didn't show his face.

I hope he has changed now. I remember the tears in his mother's eyes when she told this all. Just one moment destroyed the relationships in her house. See how just one beating changed him. There have been other examples in front of me too. Of course we can't be sure that children of people who love them and treat them with leniency would turn out to be loveable and normal but it seems to me that it's a better way. Always a better choice.

my dear friend i disagree, there is a fine line between spanking and beating a child. smacking them on there rear a couple of good times to stop there bad behavior is far different from beat the child, giving him bruises, burning him, and such. and it's also the intentions behind the spank. if a parent just shouts at the kid to stop then spanks them, not exsplaining what she did wrong, then yes it might breed anger isues. but if the parent tells the child to stop, explains why he's getting a spanking (nicely and not shouting or anything like that), spanking them, and then after ward truthfully telling them that they love them. most likely they wont end up having anger problems. and don't forget about the life style that childs raised up in, that will take a toll, too.

i agree with steph, to many kids are disrespecting there parents. like just the other month, me and my dad were at the store and there was this girl and her mom in front of us. i don't know what they were talking about but all of a sudden they girl (about 16 or so) said, "damn, mom, shut up!" i was flabbergasted! no child should speak to there parent like that (or any one really). and the worst part was the mom didn't do anything about it. nothing. no correction, no look of warning, infact, she looked as if her daughter did that often.-argetlam

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Originally Posted by Shurtugal

my dear friend i disagree, there is a fine line between spanking and beating a child. smacking them on there rear a couple of good times to stop there bad behavior is far different from beat the child, giving him bruises, burning him, and such. and it's also the intentions behind the spank. if a parent just shouts at the kid to stop then spanks them, not exsplaining what she did wrong, then yes it might breed anger isues. but if the parent tells the child to stop, explains why he's getting a spanking (nicely and not shouting or anything like that), spanking them, and then after ward truthfully telling them that they love them. most likely they wont end up having anger problems. and don't forget about the life style that childs raised up in, that will take a toll, too.-argetlam

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Okay then I am against beating, and the kind of spanking stephofthenight and rabidreader received. I mean come on what's the use of using your hands because a child is not wearing socks/shoes. Just because you have force doesn't allow you to use it on those who don't have it.

ok our household system when i was a kid

1 warning and why i shoudnt continue that behavior
2 im gonna spank you if you dont stop
3 go get the belt and sit it on the couch if you do it again
4. a spanking and when i calmed down my mommy would hug me and tell me exactly why she did that, and that she didnt do it becuase she ws mad at me and its was becasue she loved me and cared enough about me.

spanking is NOT the easy way out...
letting your child do whatever
or just saying no and not enforcing it is the easy way out...

ok what do you do when your kid misbehaves, you say no, they do it again, you ground them, they do it again? do you just give up. no that raises ignorants.

and i feel bad for those that are abused trust me, i know the terrors that can bring. but there is a diffrence if you leave bruises on a child u should be hung, now if you pop them on the butt, your being a parent.
i guess its upbringing. my parents parents took horse whips to there behind, my parents take belts to mine. so choose not to spank your kid, but even my little sister when we go to town or something together, i have spanked her butt in front of god and everybody because she wouldnt stop crawling under church pues after i had told her to stop 4 times i took her outside popped her butt twice and sent her right back in, it didnt hurt her, it was the matter of embarsment. if you embarss me ill embaress you type thing. as far as grades go if i dont have an a every point beliow a 91 is a lick. thats just how it is in my life. maybe you say there abusive well i will tell u like i told that stupid counciler ive known abuse, when i cried no one came, when i was actualy being hurt no one cared, now when im being loved you want to say no. it idiots like that that are ruining america. america was founded on god, and way back in the day they got spankings, even abraham lincon got a spanking i bet, and look here our county is great becasue of them, abuse i say not. now hitler never once got a spanking, becuase his mother didnt care, so as you call it "abuse" might have saved 3million people there life. just my veiw point

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Originally Posted by Pensive

Okay then I am against beating, and the kind of spanking stephofthenight and rabidreader received. I mean come on what's the use of using your hands because a child is not wearing socks/shoes. Just because you have force doesn't allow you to use it on those who don't have it.

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umm well the one time i got a spanking for this was after i had been told about 9 times to put on my shoes, and then my dad had helped me well i screamed no took them off and thru them. i deserved it.

i know what abuse is too. (not that i have been, of course) and basically steph family "spanking rules" are about the same as mine. abuse is a terrible thing. there is no running around it. but evan a little red butt ain't abuse. now if our parents ever did it every day, enjoyed it, and did it for no reason. then, yes, that's abuse. i've had belts on my rear. (which quite frankly doesn't hurt unless you tense up and kick and scream like i usto when i was like 8 or so.) but after i cooled off i was fine. no bruises, no hate isuies. and i plan on spanking my kids (if i have any) for that is the way i think is best to disaplin a child. my parents love me, there no question. almost all my friends are spanked. and the ones that aren't are already taking the wrong path. the thinking that what wrong is right, and what's right is wrong. not to much of a degree. but it is becomeing visable. it's sad knowing no matter how hard you try, unless they are really convicted, they'll end up going down that path in the end. quickly or with some hesitation.

Caring means bringing up a child with love, giving direction, telling them what's right or wrong - without spanking. It's unnecessary - if you know about the multiple other ways of teaching a child how to behave. But if parents and children do not know any better - well, that's sad. I'm shocked that so many of you are or have been spanked.

Spanking is against the law over here and I think in Britain, too. And I have hardly any problems with my students at school. Of course there are good-for-nothings around here, too. Sometimes it's because their parents don't care what they do, don't give them enough of their love and time. Or parents feel helpless because they do not know how to deal with a child. (BTW, that does not mean that they don't spank them, even if it's unlawful.) So one thing has got nothing whatsoever to do with the other.

All those of you who are spanked and intend to do so with their own children: Please visit parenting classes. There you will be shown ways how to bring up a child without physical violence.

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Originally Posted by Shurtugal

i agree with steph, to many kids are disrespecting there parents. like just the other month, me and my dad were at the store and there was this girl and her mom in front of us. i don't know what they were talking about but all of a sudden they girl (about 16 or so) said, "damn, mom, shut up!" i was flabbergasted! no child should speak to there parent like that (or any one really). and the worst part was the mom didn't do anything about it. nothing. no correction, no look of warning, infact, she looked as if her daughter did that often.-argetlam

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But how is it related to spanking? Are you trying to say this girl wouldn't have spoken in front of her mother if she would have been spanked? Or are you trying to suggest her mother should have slapped her butt on the very place because she spoke in that way?

And anyway, you don't know about what that mother said which made the girl say such a thing. I personally don't like the sound of 'shut up' but I think at places I have spoken in front of my parents and have disagreed with them though mostly I believe on compromises, and in a few places I have been right in that. This doesn't mean I don't love my parents. Perhaps what her mother said was truly offensive. Disagreeing with your parents on a matter doesn't mean unloving them or not caring for them. Sometimes even parents can be wrong, though usually their chances of being correct are more because of more experience.

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Originally Posted by stephofthenight

spanking is NOT the easy way out...
letting your child do whatever
or just saying no and not enforcing it is the easy way out...

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Not spanking doesn't mean you are letting your child do whatever she/he wants to do.

And we are not talking about whether we should say 'no' to our children. It's about hitting, spanking and abusing them.

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Originally Posted by stephofthenight

ok what do you do when your kid misbehaves, you say no, they do it again, you ground them, they do it again? do you just give up. no that raises ignorants.

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Do anything but spanking. And what makes you think that spanking would turn them into something tame? You and Shurtugal mentioned about first spanking them and then telling them you love them, but do you really think it's any good? If telling them you loved them was that much helping then why spank them?

And hey, don't take me wrong. I agree parents do care for their children (except very very very few exceptions) but it's not necessary the way the adopt for taking care of their children is better than any other way out there.

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Originally Posted by stephofthenight

and i feel bad for those that are abused trust me, i know the terrors that can bring. but there is a diffrence if you leave bruises on a child u should be hung, now if you pop them on the butt, your being a parent.
i guess its upbringing. my parents parents took horse whips to there behind, my parents take belts to mine. so choose not to spank your kid, but even my little sister when we go to town or something together, i have spanked her butt in front of god and everybody because she wouldnt stop crawling under church pues after i had told her to stop 4 times i took her outside popped her butt twice and sent her right back in, it didnt hurt her, it was the matter of embarsment. if you embarss me ill embaress you type thing. as far as grades go if i dont have an a every point beliow a 91 is a lick. thats just how it is in my life. maybe you say there abusive well i will tell u like i told that stupid counciler ive known abuse, when i cried no one came, when i was actualy being hurt no one cared, now when im being loved you want to say no. it idiots like that that are ruining america. america was founded on god, and way back in the day they got spankings, even abraham lincon got a spanking i bet, and look here our county is great becasue of them, abuse i say not. now hitler never once got a spanking, becuase his mother didnt care, so as you call it "abuse" might have saved 3million people there life. just my veiw point

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Spanking your children doesn't necessarily mean you care for them or not spanking them doesn't mean you don't care for them.

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Originally Posted by Shurtugal

i know what abuse is too. (not that i have been, of course) and basically steph family "spanking rules" are about the same as mine. abuse is a terrible thing. there is no running around it. but evan a little red butt ain't abuse. now if our parents ever did it every day, enjoyed it, and did it for no reason. then, yes, that's abuse. i've had belts on my rear. (which quite frankly doesn't hurt unless you tense up and kick and scream like i usto when i was like 8 or so.) but after i cooled off i was fine. no bruises, no hate isuies. and i plan on spanking my kids (if i have any) for that is the way i think is best to disaplin a child.

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If it doesn't hurt, then why do children scream, feel pain and get scared? If it doesn't hurt, then why does it make children want to end their lives? If it doesn't hurt then why do children want to run from their homes?

And if it doesn't scare children or hurt them or do anything to them, then why do parents think it's a good way to adopt to tame their children?

I think having belts at the age of eight is hmmm not a nice thing really. And I am against it whatever you call it - spanking, hitting, abusing or anything.

Sorry, got very emotional but I hope you would understand that I didn't mean to insult someone here personally, just meant to make myself clear.

Hmmm...Looks like I'm very fortunate to have grown up without knowing my father.

and just so we are clear, parents beating the snot outta their kids is not a drug prevention program. I mean Opium anyone? Then the 60s-70s, my parents generation. The 80s were so high they dressed in retro... you seen retro? that is a very trippy clothing style. Then in th 90s we had grunge rock, anger mushroom highs for everyone. This decade we seem to be the ecstasy generation, and lets face it, a drug that drives people toward passionate love making is merely tomatoes compared to what my parents were doing.

returning to pensives questions.

i know you didn't mean it personally. you aren't that kind of person. oh, and i should of made it clear, when i said belt to my rear, it didn't always mean that. only a couple of times, and i was useing that turm mostly in slang. i'll start with your first question.

if it doesn't hurt then why do children sream, feel pain, and get scared?

answer: most children over react, trust me i'm one of 'em, there are these boys (there both around 8) and i they get to round up, i grab there arm and tell them to stop. (politly, not harshly gripping just firmly) when i let go they start crying and saying that i've hurt them. or when someone they don't care for pushs them a little they start saying that they punched them and go tell. and it does hurt... but not to the point of aginising pain. the ruff turm of a spanking on the rear is just as painful as when you hit your hand to hard giving your buddy a high five. not excrutiating pain, but it gives the message.

... then why does it make children want to end there lives... run from there home?

answer: i actually have no answer for i have never heard of children running away from home because they were spanked. there was probably something more. i don't know 'cuase i have never heard of it.

describe scared. is it as when you walk up behind a person and say "BOO!" or is it how you feel when your life is at sate? and as i have mentioned it abouve, it does hurt a little.

and i personally believe that spanking is so far off from hitting or abusing.

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But how is it related to spanking? Are you trying to say this girl wouldn't have spoken in front of her mother if she would have been spanked? Or are you trying to suggest her mother should have slapped her butt on the very place because she spoke in that way?

And anyway, you don't know about what that mother said which made the girl say such a thing. I personally don't like the sound of 'shut up' but I think at places I have spoken in front of my parents and have disagreed with them though mostly I believe on compromises, and in a few places I have been right in that. This doesn't mean I don't love my parents. Perhaps what her mother said was truly offensive. Disagreeing with your parents on a matter doesn't mean unloving them or not caring for them. Sometimes even parents can be wrong, though usually their chances of being correct are more because of more experience.

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ok, i shouldn't of brung that up, i was getting off to disrespecting. i don't know how she was raised. you are right. i don't know if that was evan her real mom and maybe she has anger isues. oh, i know disagree with your parents isn't wrong, neccesially. but that doesn't give me that right to disrespect them.

and concerning slapping her butt, no, not at all. she's sixteen and is to old for that. i'm not evan spanked just because i'm older.

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Originally Posted by rabid reader

This decade we seem to be the ecstasy generation, and lets face it, a drug that drives people toward passionate love making is merely tomatoes compared to what my parents were doing.

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Whoa, ever hear of Methamphetamine? Its the scourge of the culture today.
I deal with parents each day who abuse this devil drug. These children of meth addicted adults have so many issues it's criminal.

If it doesn't hurt, then why do children scream, feel pain and get scared? If it doesn't hurt, then why does it make children want to end their lives? If it doesn't hurt then why do children want to run from their homes?

And if it doesn't scare children or hurt them or do anything to them, then why do parents think it's a good way to adopt to tame their children?


becasue some parents are idiots!!!

spanking and beating are diffrent!!!

spanking doesnt hurt, beating them leaving them hurt is abuse.

children run from home for lots of reason
~abuse verbal or physical
~neglect
~ignorance the list goes on

but unless you have been thrown into walls, and thru windows, speak not of abuse as if you understand.
when you have been abused, you can understand the diffrence but i guess some people just dont understand the terrors of true abuse therforth they call harmless things abuse.

and children need to be prepared to forgive there parents for everything that goes on, as parents need to be preparedtoforgive therechildren for everything that goes on...just as i have forgiven my abuser and we are ok now

um... off the wall here, steph, what do you mean you forgive your abuser, where you abused?

this thred is getting kinda personal, we should get back on topic

aye, your right and i'm sorry for asking if it affended you. i was putting my nose where it shouldn't of been. forgive me.

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Originally Posted by Shurtugal

returning to pensives questions.

i know you didn't mean it personally. you aren't that kind of person. oh, and i should of made it clear, when i said belt to my rear, it didn't always mean that. only a couple of times, and i was useing that turm mostly in slang. i'll start with your first question.

if it doesn't hurt then why do children sream, feel pain, and get scared?

answer: most children over react, trust me i'm one of 'em, there are these boys (there both around 8) and i they get to round up, i grab there arm and tell them to stop. (politly, not harshly gripping just firmly) when i let go they start crying and saying that i've hurt them. or when someone they don't care for pushs them a little they start saying that they punched them and go tell. and it does hurt... but not to the point of aginising pain. the ruff turm of a spanking on the rear is just as painful as when you hit your hand to hard giving your buddy a high five. not excrutiating pain, but it gives the message.

... then why does it make children want to end there lives... run from there home?

answer: i actually have no answer for i have never heard of children running away from home because they were spanked. there was probably something more. i don't know 'cuase i have never heard of it.

describe scared. is it as when you walk up behind a person and say "BOO!" or is it how you feel when your life is at sate? and as i have mentioned it abouve, it does hurt a little.

and i personally believe that spanking is so far off from hitting or abusing.

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Where did I mention spanking is the synonym of hitting or abusing? All three are different things though first two can be included in the third one. Spanking a child doesn't, my friend, disclude the possibility of severe spanking. Even using cane on children is spanking. It can be severe, and it can be the other way around.

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My question: And if it doesn't scare children or hurt them or do anything to them, then why do parents think it's a good way to adopt to tame their children?

Steph's answer: becasue some parents are idiots!!!

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Now, it seems you also agree that it is idiotic but why the hell do you want to adopt this idiotic thing to tame your own children? I find this quite un-understandable!

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Originally Posted by steph

spanking and beating are diffrent!!!

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Spanking is an act of physical violence (especially if done harshly), and so it can be included in beating but yes, wordly speaking, both are different.

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Originally Posted by steph

spanking doesnt hurt, beating them leaving them hurt is abuse.

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Again if you think spanking doesn't hurt and neither does it show any love, so why do you think it's any good or what makes you decide you would use this way for your children? (On the other hand, personally I think spanking can hurt a lot!)

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children run from home for lots of reason
~abuse verbal or physical
~neglect
~ignorance the list goes on

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And I am against all these reasons but what I meant running from home was that they try to prefer other places or confide in other people because of the fear of spanking.

Children, especially little ones are fragile no matter how strong or obstinate they look, I don't think trying to enforce fear of any sort of physical violence is a good way even if it's spanking. Spanking can make physical violence acceptable in children's mind and they have chances of using it on their fellows in school or even when they grow up. Okay, let's take example of Sara. Sara's parents used to spank her on disobedience or stealing jam from Mama's fridge and especially swear-words. A girl in Sara's class uses a swear-word for a Holy book and Sara moves towards her to fight with her and if can catch her, then spank that class-fellow of hers. And don't tell me children don't often copy the ways they see around.

And spanking is not the only way to tame children. Why not use better ways, loving ways (or even punishments which haven't got something to do with hitting, spanking or abusing), for your children? Why spank them?

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Originally Posted by steph

but unless you have been thrown into walls, and thru windows, speak not of abuse as if you understand.
when you have been abused, you can understand the diffrence but i guess some people just dont understand the terrors of true abuse therforth they call harmless things abuse.

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Just because abuse or something crueler than spanking exists, doesn't make spanking the right thing to do.

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Originally Posted by steph

and children need to be prepared to forgive there parents for everything that goes on, as parents need to be preparedtoforgive therechildren for everything that goes on...just as i have forgiven my abuser and we are ok now

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I don't know what to say about this. A child who has been truly abused (like you mention that it's very terrorful) by parents would certainly find a hard thing to do...

Amerikkkkkka

*rawr*

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Originally Posted by Shurtugal

aye, your right and i'm sorry for asking if it affended you. i was putting my nose where it shouldn't of been. forgive me.

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IMO, you don't need to apologise :) stephofthenight has shared some personal stuff that I'm sure most here would react to in the same way; I think you asked a reasonable question that any concerned person might, especially given the rest of the posts here and the overall seriousness of the discussion.

General Mod Note to All: if you choose to participate in this topic, please remember that it is obviously an emotionally charged topic. Even though it seems the OP might have been posted as a 'joke'--a 'play on words' (the word 'drug')--it has become very personal to most people. I think it is good that a number of different opinions are being expressed, as long as nobody is being 'attacked' for theirs, but please remember that others might not agree with you, as is their right :)

Oh, and just for everybody's info, since this had become a hot topic, spanking is not entirely outlawed in the United States or Canada.

I don't know about other countries.

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Originally Posted by Shurtugal

aye, your right and i'm sorry for asking if it affended you. i was putting my nose where it shouldn't of been. forgive me.

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its fine, i just didnt want this thred to turn into my life story; and i hate when people say that there sorry about it, because it doesnt change it, what happend happend, but to answer your question i was, and logos im sorry about the confusion, and i agree this is an emotional thred, i just hope yall understand i didnt want this to become about me.
steph

I've never thought there was anything wrong with spanking. Abuse is a different topic but spanking is perfectly normal!

Not spanking can do as much harm as spanking. I'm not for beating or mistreating a child, but teaching a child that there are consequences to
any actions, and some of the consequences are not pleasant, just as some actions are not pleasant, is a parent's job. Spankings should be used to guide a child, much like a shephard used his staff to guide his heard. Sheep were too valuable to abuse, so are children.

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Originally Posted by Granny5

Not spanking can do as much harm as spanking. I'm not for beating or mistreating a child, but teaching a child that there are consequences to
any actions, and some of the consequences are not pleasant, just as some actions are not pleasant, is a parent's job. Spankings should be used to guide a child, much like a shephard used his staff to guide his heard. Sheep were too valuable to abuse, so are children.

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Children are not sheep. And anyway, shephards would keep on using their staff for sheep/goats even when they grow up. You can't do this in the case of a child. Shephards can lock up their sheep while parents can't put up their children away from the world (or if they do, the results are again not so good). Shephards 'own' their sheep. Sheep are even sold!

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Originally Posted by Bakiryu

I've never thought there was anything wrong with spanking. Abuse is a different topic but spanking is perfectly normal!

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go baki!

sorry couldn't help it.

and if i am understanding granny right, i think she's using that as a figure of speech. just as when you say to someone that their eyes or like dimonds, they really aren't. and pensive are you a parent, just wondering, for if you aren't shouldn't you take more ear to someone who has grandchildren? you can also think as children as puppys. (for one comes more attached to them and are pets more then livestock. infact, most consider there dog as family) when you first get yor puppy, you leave it in a gated aera until it is pottytrained. you don't let it go off the leash until you know it wont run off on you. you give it treats when they are good, but when they are bad tell them that and punish them. the older the dog gets the more freedom they have, but when they are first puppys you won't let that be or in the end you'll cause more pain to the dog.

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spanking is perfectly normal!

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genocide was perfectly normal.
Pillaging was perfectly normal.
Torture was perfectly normal.
Rape was perfectly normal.


You need to choose your arguements more carefully.

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Originally Posted by Shurtugal

go baki!

sorry couldn't help it.

and if i am understanding granny right, i think she's using that as a figure of speech. just as when you say to someone that their eyes or like dimonds, they really aren't. and pensive are you a parent, just wondering, for if you aren't shouldn't you take more ear to someone who has grandchildren? you can also think as children as puppys. (for one comes more attached to them and are pets more then livestock. infact, most consider there dog as family) when you first get yor puppy, you leave it in a gated aera until it is pottytrained. you don't let it go off the leash until you know it wont run off on you. you give it treats when they are good, but when they are bad tell them that and punish them. the older the dog gets the more freedom they have, but when they are first puppys you won't let that be or in the end you'll cause more pain to the dog.

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Look here:

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Originally Posted by barbara0207

Caring means bringing up a child with love, giving direction, telling them what's right or wrong - without spanking. It's unnecessary - if you know about the multiple other ways of teaching a child how to behave. But if parents and children do not know any better - well, that's sad. I'm shocked that so many of you are or have been spanked.

Spanking is against the law over here and I think in Britain, too. And I have hardly any problems with my students at school. Of course there are good-for-nothings around here, too. Sometimes it's because their parents don't care what they do, don't give them enough of their love and time. Or parents feel helpless because they do not know how to deal with a child. (BTW, that does not mean that they don't spank them, even if it's unlawful.) So one thing has got nothing whatsoever to do with the other.

All those of you who are spanked and intend to do so with their own children: Please visit parenting classes. There you will be shown ways how to bring up a child without physical violence.

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If you only want to listen to parents/grandparents, then you can listen to her. :)

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Originally Posted by EAP

genocide was perfectly normal.
Pillaging was perfectly normal.
Torture was perfectly normal.
Rape was perfectly normal.


You need to choose your arguements more carefully.

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*nodds*

mkay one last point here

i was spanked
shurugal was spanked
and i dont know who else but probably a lot of us on this fourm, yet we are all caring individuals
doesnt this prove that there isnt a long time effect of spanking.
its a consquence of an action, punishment.

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Originally Posted by stephofthenight

mkay one last point here

i was spanked
shurugal was spanked
and i dont know who else but probably a lot of us on this fourm, yet we are all caring individuals
doesnt this prove that there isnt a long time effect of spanking.
its a consquence of an action, punishment.

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Many people who are abused (in the way you define what abuse is) - even they turn out to be good caring people (and not abusive for others) but this doesn't mean child abuse is the right thing to do.

Well, punishments are of many ways and every way is not fine. And this seems to be one of them to me.