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I'd advocate going to the next visit wearing a kilt.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Bean
Works for women, allegedly...
Woohoo!Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
That must be another excuse to break out the bubbly.
As if we need one...
:party:
Just think yourself lucky Brian you are not going for a vasectomy, as you would be praying the nurse looked like Boris Karlof.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Bean
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Shush, If Master Atheist finds out that his missus bought them for Parker, on his credit card, there will be big trouble in Aukland.
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Especially during the shaving.
Have you not got essays to mark or forms to fill in ? Think on lad, the public service cull is coming shortly. Teachers with time to burn could be supernumary. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Did I mention that the vasectomy nurse when I had mine chopped was an amazingly gorgeous blonde?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
That was a little odd, I have to say.
Parker? Bike shorts?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Never!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I bet you didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I hope you closed your eyes and envisioned the All Blacks front row. Better than any anaesthetic. Either that or Mick shovelling the silage. :)
Looking at the pieces of equipment laid out to work on me with obviated any need to think about the ABs!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
The Pope is paying a visitation to Scotland, " The Special Daughter of the See of Rome. " Mrs Jocky has been counting her rosary beads and saying her hail Mary's. Every time the word sinner is mentioned she flashes her eyes in my direction. On that note I will retire to my confessional. Any thoughts ? :)
It wasn't a problem as the nerve was already dead and she was able to do it without anaesthetic. For my next appointment I am looking to purchase a sombrero, a poncho and a pair of maracas.Quote:
Originally Posted by dafydd manton
Quite a few!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I won't mention too many of them, but the one conversation I would like to share over a bottle of consecrated wine is asking Ratty what Jesus would have done had he been ordered to join the Hitler Youth.
:D
Nice One, The Atheist!!!
Aye - they'll be shaving 20% or more. The least we can hope for is a pay freeze. Birmingham council is looking to renegotiate public sector contracts and have the employees re-apply for their old jobs. Perhaps that'll be us too. No more golden decade for me either. I wonder if it'll be a dingy sunset. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by jocky
The first injection into my right hand jewel killed whatever atmosphere there was.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
That and the sound of someone screaming with laughter out in the waiting room where my wife was... She's worked in the clinic before...
:yikes:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
His Holiness Pope Ratzinger ( Ratty ) :) would have gazed at you through his watery eyes and thoughtfully replied ; " Ach Von Atheist, our glorious Fuhrer would never have employed a Jew. " He would have then turned to his Swiss Guard and said ; " Escort our Kiwi friend from our presense ". The Captain would have whispered in the Pontiff's ear...... " The Roberto Calvi treatment ". ...... "Jahowl, and God's blood remove that rubbish wine and replace it with the Liebfraumilch. " :)
:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Personally Paul, I would go for the pay freeze. " dingy sunset" sounds all too familiar .
I was reading the Independent this morning and studying the unemployment figures for Europe with shock. Spain at 20% is just aking for trouble, and with gov'ts all over the place undertaking "austerity" cuts, it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I was smart enough to leave the Mrs at home.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
How about this gem spotted in UK today:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...ist/ratz33.jpg
:smilielol5:
I don't know about the kilt, Brian; I recall the days before they draped the patient in long plastic bibs. I was wearing my favorite blouse and my bosoms were spilling out in a fetching, but proper manner...at the end of the treatment, my mouth hurt way before it should and we both realized that he had given me a root canal on a perfectly good tooth...1 tooth away from the sick one.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Here, Here, any reason is a good one for the bubbly...
Ah, fellows, just wanted to ask a question...I and loverboy are having a bit of a disagreement about the male anatomy and physiology. My friend claims that mens parts naturally rise and follow women during a comatose sleep; I told my friend that I am relatively sure that nocturnal emissions do not include a full blown laser and fireworks show:smilielol5:
Mrs A just bought the matching bow and boots:drool5:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Hum, really, I would have thought that the mast would fall at the sign of a razor blade:yikes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
What a time to have a gorgeous blonde around; how long before you could form a proper fantasy about her?Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Yes, the bicycle shorts were supposed to be for that Queen video; Parker arrived and found that they weren't using the shorts to ride afterall:hand:
:smilielol5:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Roberto Calvi treatment? Could anyone imagine the Atheist hanging from Blackfriars Bridge with five bricks in his pockets ? Don't all answer at once.:DQuote:
Originally Posted by jocky
This loverboy would not happen to be a certain Yorkshire farmer who has been posted missing recently. I am suspicious. You keep him well away from your vegetable patch. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Categorically no, apart from the members of every religious organisation on the planet. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Bean
Two days without a post!
Parker was almost in tears. There he was with filet de boeuf en croute with the 1959 Burgundy and nobody came to dinner.
(It's not all bad news, the beef makes great sandwiches!)
Atheist, my dear old thing, the invitation must have got lost in the post. Rather partial to boeuf en croute, with carrots Vichysoisse and satueed potatoes. I hope the Burgundy wasn't a Remoissonel Clos de Vougeot, or I shall be devastated. Please pass on my abject apologies to Parker, assuming he's come round yet.
Surely Parker would never make the mistake of serving Burgundy with beef, unless he's been at the Newcastle Brown ale again. Prendrelemick has a lot to answer for.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Terribly middle-class prejudice, that, Brian. Remember, Parker knows best (although I've never been so sure about those fish-fingers he brought in once. Frozen peas? Is this acceptable?)
Daffyd old chap, I'm sure that Parker knows much more about wine than I do but the pernicious effects of 'Newkie' on a refined sensibility such a his, cannot be underestimated. Frozen peas, as with all peas, are acceptable when eaten from a knife.:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by dafydd manton
One assumes, with honey?
Yes, but only if it's Mankusa honey which retails at Harrods at £42 for a jar of 120 grammes. i understand that it is favoured by Sienna Miller among other non entities, so it might be quite good; best ask Parker I think.Quote:
Originally Posted by dafydd manton
Oh, our local health-food shops bungs it out at £4.99 the jar.....
He's fine; planning this week's dinner - Baron of beef with roast baby potatoes, Yorkshire pudding & brocollini.Quote:
Originally Posted by dafydd manton
Nothing wrong with burgundy and boeuf. They go together like champagne & dark ale.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Bean
Just back from Hols. After four days shopping, in Kendal (shoes) Keswick (A new top) Windermere (plate rack for draining board)and Lancaster (nothing, but we had lunch:rolleyes5:) I eventually persuaded Mrs P to go for a lesurely walk among the fells and lakes of Cumbria. It was after all the reason (I thought) we had chosen to head Northwest in the first place.
The day dawned bright and clear and we actually managed one and a half miles above Hawes water before being forced back by a chilly breeze. Coincidentally Mrs P had spotted The Hawes Water Hotel a few minutes before this ill wind struck, so we had a refuge from the storm. The rest of the afternoon was spent in the Hotel lounge sipping expensive tea and listening to Mrs P saying, "This is nice," every 10 minutes or so. After that it rained every day.:(
No butterfly buns, Mick? (And it has to be cheaper than Betty's in York!)
Carrot Cake! 7 (seven!) quid a head.
Shopping is the primary purpose of holidays apparently. I used to think the primary purpose was relaxing fun. My views have since modified themselves to the actual reality.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Ah, the joys of going on to a million souvenir shops, in Rhyl, and looking at little models of London buses, asinine looking dolphins, dolls made in Hong Kong (sure, it says China....bit we all know) and other tat that you can buy in every other souvenir shop from Lands End to John 'o Groats. And that's the GOOD side of Rhyl!
Rhyl, That'd be the Welsh Morecome then?
No, Morecambe is at least fairly clean, and not full of Scouse accents. (Actually, they've done Morecambe up a bit, its now a great place to go and die, a bit like Bournemouth. Full of people saying "I didn't feel very well, so we moved here. Pass the tablets, dear.)
Rhyl has to be only place I know where to get from the hideous caravan parks to the beach, you have to cross the main road and the main railway line!
We once took the lad - when he was three or four on a coach to Rhyl. There was a traffic jam going there - not sure why - and then we arrived. We'd just landed on the beach and it began to rain and rained all day. The sun came out as we traversed the hills into England. We spent the afternoon looking round - yes you guessed it - the shops - which tended to be pound shop style. The greasy spoons were cheap - which is good because we spent a good while in them.
Ah! Bournemouth, definitely a place to be missed. A few years ago I spent a weekend there with a young lady of my acquaintance and everything appeared to be fine, the hotel was good, the weather was perfect and the beach very long with real sand. And then, after walking around for ages, it dawned on me that there were no pubs there. Eventually we found one; a Wetherspoons that was choc full of people who were obviously also visitors from outside of town. My friend wasn't at all concerned because, being Chinese, she didn't drink anyway but, although the pub was a life saver, I swore never to return to Bournemouth again. There's only so much a chap can take.Quote:
Originally Posted by dafydd manton
I'm not sure which is worse - the thought of Bournemouth or a Wetherspoons. A combination of the two, well....... One assumes the relationship was doomed!
I'm afraid so, she eventually departed for New York. It's an unfortunate trait of oriental women that they usually refuse to drink alcohol and I always feel distinctly uncomfortable watching anyone drinking soft drinks in a bar. The only one that I have met that did drink beer was born in Australia; so nothing surprising there. I have a lunch date on Thursday with a Japanese female who is also teetotal. It's enough to drive one to drink.Quote:
Originally Posted by dafydd manton
yeah, but it's cheaper! Uncomfortable, I suspect. Next time we go for a drink, I promise to drink pints - of brandy!
Now you're talking.Quote:
Originally Posted by dafydd manton