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Thread: Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

  1. #3676
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Is this an illness I kow nothing about? What causes it? What is the cure? Other than a bath, that is! That Stockholm Tar gets everywhere!
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  2. #3677
    Registered User Emil Miller's Avatar
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    Now here is a conundrum. Today I went to the dentist and had root canal treatment by a young lady from Latin America. Earlier, I had noticed an article on the MSN page with a a picture of one, Penelope Cruz, whoever she may be, and the dentist could be her double. The question is this, should I ignore the voluptuous dentist and lie back and think of England, or should I enjoy, what would otherwise be an unfortunate necessity?
    "L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.

    "Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.

  3. #3678
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    If you can lie back and think of England whilst somebody is carrying out mining operations on your gums, you are a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  4. #3679
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Did you know that if you stick you tongue into the cavity left by a just pulled tooth you can feel the bone underneath? I tried it quite a while ago and it surprised me. I wouldn't recommend t though - infections and all that.

    I once had a filling - quite a large one that looked like a small ingot - come out once. I was working in a primary school and said to one of the female staff - "Just feel the weight of that little bit of metal." "Oooh yeah", "She says, "Where's it from". The horror look and jump reflex was comical when I told her.

    Teeth - the fun side.

  5. #3680
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    Alien’s, UFO’s, Lights, Bigfoot…now you’re talking my language.
    Remember the Marfa Lights Jocky?

    Yours truly captivated by the reflection of an alien craft that landed in Chicago:
    (Yes; I’m wearing my Roswell Mystery Cover Up” T-shirt)
    .
    Talking of Bigfoot, did I ever tell you that the first Mr sounds wore a size 13 steel toed boot...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    I agree that's it's not cut and dried, but I also think that allowing ourselves to be intimidated by threats of violence as worse than any of the alternatives.

    I start to add it up - the Danish cartoons, Southpark, now the quran - where does it end? The edge of the wedge seems to be half of the wedge all of a sudden.
    Did someone say Southpark; God, I miss Southpark It was never quite the same after chef left, though...Like family guy, every American cartoon needs at least one etnic
    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Do you lot go to other forums as well?

    Quite the hot topic, this quran-burning.
    I'll be glad when they go back to discussing American Idol; particularly since the people I know can't stay on one side of the fence from week to week.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat Square View Post
    Christians too:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7cbYPgkt_w

    poor gargoyles -- such a bad rap
    Hello and welcome, Cat...how'd you come up with the name
    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    And onto more pleasant subjects, 6 am this morning, the birds started tweeting with the very first light.

    Nice!

    Sorry, but my kids need the outdoors more than you lot need the sun, so get over it, it's down our way for the next six months!

    I think an important goal for science and engineering is to straighten up the damned planet! This half and half stuff is just a nonsense, we ought to be able to align the planet so it sits perpendicular to the sun and we do away with this "winter".


    Soundo, you'll just have to move to NZ once we straighten 'er up - it isn't going to improve your weather. Plus, you'll probably be under water, Antarctica and Greenland will definitely melt.

    I'm coming as soon as I can sell this bit of slum I live in as beach front property; I waded home with water to my ankles after a short burst of rain the other night...won't be long now
    Quote Originally Posted by dafydd manton View Post
    If only the water would rise....and drown Blackpool! Las Vegas with Pox!
    Maybe that is why we are getting floods...I knew there would be a pox on Florida when we legalized gambling
    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post


    Which will be quite sad really as this will only leave the New Zealand branch of the Bloke's Thread above water. Inform Parker to have the spare room ready, we are on our way.
    Do you mind if you and Mrs Jocky take the top bunk; I tend to roll out of bed.

    Quote Originally Posted by dafydd manton View Post
    Should we order in lunch now, or when we get there? (And after Paul's earlier comment, not chips, I feel.)
    Atheist always knows how to feed us and Parker keeps our hinges well oiled with liquor; I'm beginning to consider letting the shack go for taxes..
    Quote Originally Posted by Tallefred View Post
    Oh, it seems like I've come at a bad time. Any spots left on that ark?
    Welcome, I'll give you my spot if you don't mind me perching on your shoulders with my looking glasses..
    Quote Originally Posted by prendrelemick View Post
    Well thats the silage done. The lambs weaned. The cattle brought down from t'moor.

    If I keep catching up at this rate it'll be Christmas in November.
    Just in time for you to send my a nice wool sweater...in the event we do have a winter in the South.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Hang on a second.

    Are you trying to tell us something here? If so, spill, woman!
    Oh yes, this old lady is keeping late hours and having to take extra vitamins...our cup runneth over
    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post


    Thank goodness Soundos back. Now we have someone to swab the decks, pour the refreshments and repel all boarders. I guess that will be me that gets the black spot. Ha har Jim lad.
    Thank you kindly, Jocky. I think Mrs Jocky is taking over head of housekeeping though; I shall be in charge of supplying staff uniforms. Parker wants to know if he can wear those tiny bicylcle shorts he got as a "best customer" gift from victorias secret.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brian Bean View Post
    Now here is a conundrum. Today I went to the dentist and had root canal treatment by a young lady from Latin America. Earlier, I had noticed an article on the MSN page with a a picture of one, Penelope Cruz, whoever she may be, and the dentist could be her double. The question is this, should I ignore the voluptuous dentist and lie back and think of England, or should I enjoy, what would otherwise be an unfortunate necessity?
    Forget England, my friend. Ask for the gas and keep looking south

  6. #3681
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian Bean View Post
    Now here is a conundrum. Today I went to the dentist and had root canal treatment by a young lady from Latin America. Earlier, I had noticed an article on the MSN page with a a picture of one, Penelope Cruz, whoever she may be, and the dentist could be her double. The question is this, should I ignore the voluptuous dentist and lie back and think of England, or should I enjoy, what would otherwise be an unfortunate necessity?
    I'd advocate going to the next visit wearing a kilt.

    Works for women, allegedly...

    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    Oh yes, this old lady is keeping late hours and having to take extra vitamins...our cup runneth over
    Woohoo!

    That must be another excuse to break out the bubbly.

    As if we need one...

    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  7. #3682
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian Bean View Post
    Now here is a conundrum. Today I went to the dentist and had root canal treatment by a young lady from Latin America. Earlier, I had noticed an article on the MSN page with a a picture of one, Penelope Cruz, whoever she may be, and the dentist could be her double. The question is this, should I ignore the voluptuous dentist and lie back and think of England, or should I enjoy, what would otherwise be an unfortunate necessity?
    Just think yourself lucky Brian you are not going for a vasectomy, as you would be praying the nurse looked like Boris Karlof.

    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    Parker wants to know if he can wear those tiny bicylcle shorts he got as a "best customer" gift from victorias secret.


    Shush, If Master Atheist finds out that his missus bought them for Parker, on his credit card, there will be big trouble in Aukland.

  8. #3683
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Just think yourself lucky Brian you are not going for a vasectomy, as you would be praying the nurse looked like Boris Karlof.


    Especially during the shaving.

  9. #3684
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post


    Especially during the shaving.
    Have you not got essays to mark or forms to fill in ? Think on lad, the public service cull is coming shortly. Teachers with time to burn could be supernumary.

  10. #3685
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Just think yourself lucky Brian you are not going for a vasectomy, as you would be praying the nurse looked like Boris Karlof.
    Did I mention that the vasectomy nurse when I had mine chopped was an amazingly gorgeous blonde?

    That was a little odd, I have to say.

    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post


    Shush, If Master Atheist finds out that his missus bought them for Parker, on his credit card, there will be big trouble in Aukland.
    Parker? Bike shorts?

    Never!
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  11. #3686
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post


    Especially during the shaving.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Did I mention that the vasectomy nurse when I had mine chopped was an amazingly gorgeous blonde?

    That was a little odd, I have to say.




    I bet you didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I hope you closed your eyes and envisioned the All Blacks front row. Better than any anaesthetic. Either that or Mick shovelling the silage.

  12. #3687
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post


    I bet you didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I hope you closed your eyes and envisioned the All Blacks front row. Better than any anaesthetic. Either that or Mick shovelling the silage.
    Looking at the pieces of equipment laid out to work on me with obviated any need to think about the ABs!
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  13. #3688
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    The Pope is paying a visitation to Scotland, " The Special Daughter of the See of Rome. " Mrs Jocky has been counting her rosary beads and saying her hail Mary's. Every time the word sinner is mentioned she flashes her eyes in my direction. On that note I will retire to my confessional. Any thoughts ?

  14. #3689
    Registered User Emil Miller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dafydd manton View Post
    If you can lie back and think of England whilst somebody is carrying out mining operations on your gums, you are a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
    It wasn't a problem as the nerve was already dead and she was able to do it without anaesthetic. For my next appointment I am looking to purchase a sombrero, a poncho and a pair of maracas.
    "L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.

    "Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.

  15. #3690
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    The Pope is paying a visitation to Scotland, " The Special Daughter of the See of Rome. " Mrs Jocky has been counting her rosary beads and saying her hail Mary's. Every time the word sinner is mentioned she flashes her eyes in my direction. On that note I will retire to my confessional. Any thoughts ?
    Quite a few!

    I won't mention too many of them, but the one conversation I would like to share over a bottle of consecrated wine is asking Ratty what Jesus would have done had he been ordered to join the Hitler Youth.

    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

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