Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Ha!

I've been meaning to say: you have the best sig mine I've ever seen.
One of the great characters of all time.

---

Thanks Atheist,

And now Ladies and Gentlemen, for the sake of the uneducated, I ask that you all sit down, finish what is left in your glass and kindly direct your attention to the silver screen. Lights please.
Behold the greatest line that has ever been, and likely ever will be, uddered in the annals of the cinematic world: (To save a little time just skip ahead to about 2:45 through 3:40)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGX-d...eature=related

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

...We are definitely freezing our bloomers, baps and buns down here. I haven't opened the windows or turned on the a/c for 2 weeks. It's okay though, Jocky, I'm asking Atheist and his family to fly in to work the grill and Gilliatt to come also, before his breakfast eats him.

---

Sounds like you got quite a chill down there. I will bring the frozen orange juice to serve with that breakfast.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I have to confess that the best bread I've had are the rolls you get in Austria. Superb!


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikibook...s_of_bread.jpg

So we're coming to yours in Florida? Lots of Brits like it.

---

Hello to Paulclem from your friends here in the Lone Star Republic.
That brot looks goot!

Gilliatt

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I hope Paulclem will come, maybe he'll bring some good English breads.

---

Even better if he brings some English broads.

Not to be confused with Norfolk Broads.

They're wetter and much less fun.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I have to confess that the best bread I've had are the rolls you get in Austria. Superb!


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikibook...s_of_bread.jpg

So we're coming to yours in Florida? Lots of Brits like it.

---

We'll roll out the red carpet and get the spare room ready...Those Austrian rolls look delicious

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Thanks Atheist,

And now Ladies and Gentlemen, for the sake of the uneducated, I ask that you all sit down, finish what is left in your glass and kindly direct your attention to the silver screen. Lights please.
Behold the greatest line that has ever been, and likely ever will be, uddered in the annals of the cinematic world: (To save a little time just skip ahead to about 2:45 through 3:40)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGX-d...eature=related



Sounds like you got quite a chill down there. I will bring the frozen orange juice to serve with that breakfast.


Gilliatt

---

Lovely movie, Gilliatt...I've always liked "Young Frankenstein"
Maybe we'll put alittle champagne in the oj

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Even better if he brings some English broads.

Not to be confused with Norfolk Broads.

They're wetter and much less fun.

---

Now, I assume you're speaking of the raven haired, blue eyed, pale skinned English broads...like Sara Brightman...
I'm afraid you may have to keep the ladies in your room until after dark, when the kiddies are all safe in their beds;)

Sara is a lovely girl, but the real English Rose has moved down market recently.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...9ba775970b.png

no quotes or capitals here. OMG! Intenational translator here. When the bloomers come off, birth rate has a chance of arising. I only want pliable buns, though even frozen ones stand the possiblity of being warmed by large cold hands. Benefits of friction was probably documented by Newton. Wild Turkey is nectar of Kentuckian fathers. If it turns gills green, not even a pickle/peanut butter sandwich could help. Heart to Haiti.
I prefer my hot bread pudding served with thick cream as the conveyor.

sometimes loaned computer works, sometime not. Son did good first semester of law school.

Leaving 1,150 acres of corn in the field, a brother-in-law left to harvest some hogs in Texas, and stopped off in Colorado to drop off a few pounds of pork. It's not unbelievable, but I won't broach the subject with the man (talked to my sister-that's enough-not even she is foolish enough to broach the subject). Supposed to hit 50F here today, then the pineapple express begins (el nino?).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Sara is a lovely girl, but the real English Rose has moved down market recently.

---

Now, that's some real class right there!

Which one's yours?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gbrekken

Leaving 1,150 acres of corn in the field, a brother-in-law left to harvest some hogs in Texas, and stopped off in Colorado to drop off a few pounds of pork. It's not unbelievable, but I won't broach the subject with the man (talked to my sister-that's enough-not even she is foolish enough to broach the subject). Supposed to hit 50F here today, then the pineapple express begins (el nino?).

---

Is Nevada really in USA?

:brow:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Thanks Atheist,

And now Ladies and Gentlemen, for the sake of the uneducated, I ask that you all sit down, finish what is left in your glass and kindly direct your attention to the silver screen. Lights please.
Behold the greatest line that has ever been, and likely ever will be, uddered in the annals of the cinematic world: (To save a little time just skip ahead to about 2:45 through 3:40)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGX-d...eature=related



Sounds like you got quite a chill down there. I will bring the frozen orange juice to serve with that breakfast.



Hello to Paulclem from your friends here in the Lone Star Republic.
That brot looks goot!

Gilliatt

---

Hi Gilliat. Thanks for the clip.

I saw Blazing Saddles when it was released in England in the late 70s (?). Brilliant film. I was an older teen then, and we went to see Blazing Saddles and then Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Great memories of watching with my mates.

[QUOTE=soundofmusic;828981]We'll roll out the red carpet and get the spare room ready...Those Austrian rolls look delicious

They were great.

Did you ask me in another thread about the Leofric in Coventy? It's changed hands now.

There have been a few changes around the City Centre too. It's getting better.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Sara is a lovely girl, but the real English Rose has moved down market recently.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...9ba775970b.png

---

This wouldn't be Halifax would it?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Sara is a lovely girl, but the real English Rose has moved down market recently.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...9ba775970b.png

---

Gracious, are they triplets. You know, if they're triplets, you can't separate them...I hope you have "lots of bread"
Aren't those roses of the short-stemmed, mixed variety though? I still think, if I were a gentleman, I would prefer the long stemmed, single-hued beauties to grace my private garden.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gbrekken

no quotes or capitals here. OMG! Intenational translator here. When the bloomers come off, birth rate has a chance of arising. I only want pliable buns, though even frozen ones stand the possiblity of being warmed by large cold hands. Benefits of friction was probably documented by Newton. Wild Turkey is nectar of Kentuckian fathers. If it turns gills green, not even a pickle/peanut butter sandwich could help. Heart to Haiti.
I prefer my hot bread pudding served with thick cream as the conveyor.

sometimes loaned computer works, sometime not. Son did good first semester of law school.

Leaving 1,150 acres of corn in the field, a brother-in-law left to harvest some hogs in Texas, and stopped off in Colorado to drop off a few pounds of pork. It's not unbelievable, but I won't broach the subject with the man (talked to my sister-that's enough-not even she is foolish enough to broach the subject). Supposed to hit 50F here today, then the pineapple express begins (el nino?).

---

I don't know, I think you might need to warm those big hands up before kneading the bread:smash: I like my hot bread pudding with lots of cinnamon and whipped cream.
Kuddos to the son:banana:
Why is the corn unharvested?
I don't think I'd let the brother-in-law go a-traveling with any of my hogs:eek:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Gracious, are they triplets. You know, if they're triplets, you can't separate them...I hope you have "lots of bread"
Aren't those roses of the short-stemmed, mixed variety though? I still think, if I were a gentleman, I would prefer the long stemmed, single-hued beauties to grace my private garden.

---

No they are not your garden roses, more Rosa Rugosa , a native rose known for its wild habit and large hips.

As to the contents of my bread basket....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

No they are not your garden roses, more Rosa Rugosa , a native rose known for its wild habit and large hips.

As to the contents of my bread basket....

---

I found an article, a fellow was complaining that while he was away his Rosa Rugosa had become huge and thorny:lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

No they are not your garden roses, more Rosa Rugosa , a native rose known for its wild habit and large hips.

---

And usually highly regarded by young men with a certain alcohol content.

Until the morning after...

It is with a great deal of regret that I have to report that our Empire has been victim to a massive swindle. All this talk of buns by our American friends has been a red herring. We have been conned, they were really after our confectionary industry. The great institution of Cadbury has been usurped by a sneaky hostile takeover. How can you trust a nation that would go to war over tea ? Creme eggs, Flakes, Dairy Milk, Crunchies and, God help us, Chocolate fingers are now the property of Corporate America. Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed ! :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

And usually highly regarded by young men with a certain alcohol content.

Until the morning after...

---

Smart young ladies grab their attire, wipe their runny mascara and evacuate before the young prince wakes and finds a mass of cellulite:lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

It is with a great deal of regret that I have to report that our Empire has been victim to a massive swindle. All this talk of buns by our American friends has been a red herring. We have been conned, they were really after our confectionary industry. The great institution of Cadbury has been usurped by a sneaky hostile takeover. How can you trust a nation that would go to war over tea ? Creme eggs, Flakes, Dairy Milk, Crunchies and, God help us, Chocolate fingers are now the property of Corporate America. Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed ! :(

---

Oh my, yes, I forgot your wonderful chocolate biscuits and shortbread, Oh god, the marmalades and clotted creams; Does anyone care if the cows are mad?

Can I do that? Borrow a couple of billion, take over a company then pass the debt on to that company. While I enjoy my pork scratchings from a silver salver.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Can I do that? Borrow a couple of billion, take over a company then pass the debt on to that company. While I enjoy my pork scratchings from a silver salver.

---

;) No, it can't be. The Americans are trying to save the 100+ year old company from ruin...We're helping people again, right:idea: Unfortunately, we're changing your chocolate recipe; you know, the one that made us want to write a blank check:goof:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

It is with a great deal of regret that I have to report that our Empire has been victim to a massive swindle. All this talk of buns by our American friends has been a red herring. We have been conned, they were really after our confectionary industry. The great institution of Cadbury has been usurped by a sneaky hostile takeover. How can you trust a nation that would go to war over tea ? Creme eggs, Flakes, Dairy Milk, Crunchies and, God help us, Chocolate fingers are now the property of Corporate America. Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed ! :(

---

Buy shares in Nestle immediately.

I imagine this would be the best marketing ploy they could ever come up with.

Going by food made by Kraft I've tried so far, most of it tastes as though it was made from emissions from a waste pipe of the Bangalore sewage plant in a factory built on the ruined Union Carbide one at Bhopal.

The extremely wet and frozen corn in NW MN is 1/2 buried in three feet of snow. The weather here in NV crosses CA first, and sometimes originates near Hawaii (hence pineapple). Not sure about that Cadbury deal going through, once it becomes common knowledge that the majority stockholder of Kraft is the Chinese government.

major computer problem-may be a while before I get back. Keep it going blokes

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gbrekken

The extremely wet and frozen corn in NW MN is 1/2 buried in three feet of snow. The weather here in NV crosses CA first, and sometimes originates near Hawaii (hence pineapple). Not sure about that Cadbury deal going through, once it becomes common knowledge that the majority stockholder of Kraft is the Chinese government.

major computer problem-may be a while before I get back. Keep it going blokes

---

Sorry about the corn and the computer; sounds like a mess...

Oh, so that's what happened to Krafts recipes...Have any of you ever tasted those nasty gelatin desserts they sell in Chinese stores? :sick:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Buy shares in Nestle immediately.

I imagine this would be the best marketing ploy they could ever come up with.

Going by food made by Kraft I've tried so far, most of it tastes as though it was made from emissions from a waste pipe of the Bangalore sewage plant in a factory built on the ruined Union Carbide one at Bhopal.

---

Well, Nestle isn't so great anymore either. The days are gone when children toasted every morning to Nestles Quick rabbit and Kellogs tiger...

I hope the other UK biscuit companies will hold out...

The power of Google:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...st/cadbury.jpg

Ah so thats how kraft did it. Looks like you can buy New Zealand too at the push of a button.


Smart young ladies grab their attire, wipe their runny mascara and evacuate before the young prince wakes and finds a mass of cellulite

Thats why we appreciate your female presence, Sounds,- Life from the other side.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Ah so thats how kraft did it. Looks like you can buy New Zealand too at the push of a button.


Smart young ladies grab their attire, wipe their runny mascara and evacuate before the young prince wakes and finds a mass of cellulite

Thats why we appreciate your female presence, Sounds,- Life from the other side.

---

:) Thank you, I feel all warm and fuzzy now:blush: Just don't tell the ladies I'm letting you in on the "insider secrets";)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

It is with a great deal of regret...
...Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed ! :(

---

It wasn't me, remember I was selling sand to the Arabs.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Can I do that? Borrow a couple of billion, take over a company then pass the debt on to that company. While I enjoy my pork scratchings from a silver salver.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Ah so thats how kraft did it. Looks like you can buy New Zealand too at the push of a button.

---

This is how the deal went down:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU7nG...eature=related

Gilliatt

Irene Rosenfield and Veruca Salt. Are they the same person? I can't help noticing they are never seen together.;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Irene Rosenfield and Veruca Salt. Are they the same person? I can't help noticing they are never seen together.;)

---

:lol:Good one, Irene's the one in drag...She's Veruca's father:alien:

:( Oh boys, where did everyone go:bawling: Did you find a new clubhouse or pub:idea:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:( Oh boys, where did everyone go:bawling: Did you find a new clubhouse or pub:idea:

---

No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

---

As usual Atheist you are correct, it is a horrible tale I have to relate. It all started with my new found interest in alchemy. I set up my laboratory in the basement complete with candle, furnace, all the necessary chemical compounds and the forbidden books. I feverishly studied Sir Isaac Newton's alchemical notes and after much blood sweat and tears I can report a degree of success. I am the first man in the planet to have transformed gold into lead. Unfortunately, I used the wife's jewellery for my experiments. If I could just somehow untie myself ( A difficult procedure with so many broken bones ) I may be able to reverse the process. :)

Not to worry Sound, we're all just hibernating in man-made caves; it happens a' times.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gbrekken

Not to worry Sound, we're all just hibernating in man-made caves; it happens a' times.

---

Glad to hear it, does the cave have cable, surround sound and a tiger-hide couch; if so, I'll be over for the game...I hear that their thinking of getting an all male cheerleader squad for us ladies;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

---

God, that Jockys a lucky man; to have a woman who can cook and wrestle:banana::idea:
You know, Atheist, I don't think you've ever confirmed what or who you work on; but if you can soak up the sun while doing it, I'm changing professions:idea:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

As usual Atheist you are correct, it is a horrible tale I have to relate. It all started with my new found interest in alchemy. I set up my laboratory in the basement complete with candle, furnace, all the necessary chemical compounds and the forbidden books. I feverishly studied Sir Isaac Newton's alchemical notes and after much blood sweat and tears I can report a degree of success. I am the first man in the planet to have transformed gold into lead. Unfortunately, I used the wife's jewellery for my experiments. If I could just somehow untie myself ( A difficult procedure with so many broken bones ) I may be able to reverse the process. :)

---

Have you told the Mrs J. how lucky she is to have a husband with so many talents...Now, if you could transform lead into Jack Daniels and the cork into a fat diamond for the Mrs...:)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Jack Daniels

---

:lol: It is with great regret that I have to inform you Soundo, that It is my solemn duty to report you to the Cold Ale Committee. The charge, using two unacceptable words when it comes to booze. Don't worry, you will get a fair hearing. Atheist is the presiding judge supported by unimpeachable advice from me, Prendrelemick, Gilliat and Gbrekken. It is just a formality, but I wouldn't book my holidays if I were you. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

:lol: It is with great regret that I have to inform you Soundo, that It is my solemn duty to report you to the Cold Ale Committee. The charge, using two unacceptable words when it comes to booze. Don't worry, you will get a fair hearing. Atheist is the presiding judge supported by unimpeachable advice from me, Prendrelemick, Gilliat and Gbrekken. It is just a formality, but I wouldn't book my holidays if I were you. :)

---

:bawling: I plead ignorance of the law...I can't be responsible as I am just a girl and drink all those fruity drinks:blush: I will hence sit at the corner of the bar with my Plantars Punch and frozen Pina Coladas...

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?:p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:bawling:

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?:p

---

Now, Jocky will have to use his limited vocabulary with great care here. Are you sure you did not mean ' gay cheerleaders ' ? In our great Empire we tend not to wear half a ton of body armour when clattering our enemies. I am sorry Soundo, but I have to report you to The committee again. The charge, pekinolatters. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I will hence sit at the corner of the bar with my Plantars Punch and frozen Pina Coladas...

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?:p

---

You're just making it worse for yourself sounds.

Beware the Witch Finder General ! (Scottish branch)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

Now, Jocky will have to use his limited vocabulary with great care here. Are you sure you did not mean ' gay cheerleaders ' ? In our great Empire we tend not to wear half a ton of body armour when clattering our enemies. I am sorry Soundo, but I have to report you to The committee again. The charge, pekinolatters. :)

---

:bawling: Sounds pleads ignorance of the law again; what is pekinolatters?
Yes, you may have something there; they may be gay...do the lads in the UK grab each other in celebration?:lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

You're just making it worse for yourself sounds.

Beware the Witch Finder General ! (Scottish branch)

---

Thank you for the heads up:thumbs_up. I think I'll hide out by Atheists pool until I give them all the slip;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Yes, you may have something there; they may be gay...do the lads in the UK grab each other in celebration?:lol:

---

Now look here - as rugby shows us, grown men grabbing each other by the crotch is not necessarily gay.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:Thank you for the heads up:thumbs_up. I think I'll hide out by Atheists pool until I give them all the slip;)

---

Pool? Slip?

I'm getting subliminal messages here.

You didn't really say that Daniels' bloke's name did you? It's a bit like he-who-must-not-be-named in Harry Potter.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Now look here - as rugby shows us, grown men grabbing each other by the crotch is not necessarily gay.

Pool? Slip?

I'm getting subliminal messages here.

You didn't really say that Daniels' bloke's name did you? It's a bit like he-who-must-not-be-named in Harry Potter.

---

Well, if Atheist says that men grabbing each other by the crotch is not gay; then it's not gay...
How about women rugby players, is it gay when they grab each other by the crotch:idea:

Well, I decided to bring my bubble bath for your hot tub instead; then, maybe a little cool night swimming when mom, dad, and the kids have all closed their eyes...
Oh yes, there's a fellow in the Harry Potter movie, he takes alot of baths...he does baths as Cedric, he gets washed as a pilot, I think he even does a bath as a vampire...I might invite him over; though he really looks better in full garb...Some people just look better fully clothed;)

I know I do.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Well, if Atheist says that men grabbing each other by the crotch is not gay; then it's not gay...
How about women rugby players, is it gay when they grab each other by the crotch:idea:

---

No, not gay at all.

But very interesting to male rugby players!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Well, I decided to bring my bubble bath for your hot tub instead; then, maybe a little cool night swimming when mom, dad, and the kids have all closed their eyes...
Oh yes, there's a fellow in the Harry Potter movie, he takes alot of baths...he does baths as Cedric, he gets washed as a pilot, I think he even does a bath as a vampire...I might invite him over; though he really looks better in full garb...Some people just look better fully clothed;)

---

Most of the ones over 40 for starters.

:lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I know I do.

---

Yes, dungarees, wellies, woolly hat, and monacle are considered to be fatally attractive in Yorkshire. ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

But very interesting to male rugby players!




:lol:

---

Speaking of rugby we are playing a young ladies fifteen shortly. I am obviously playing tight head prop. The scrum should be very interesting. I, of course, will report on the outcome shortly. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I know I do.

---

[QUOTE=The Atheist;8361

Most of the ones over 40 for starters.

:lol:[/QUOTE]

I'm standing in line for a "surrogate body"; I think I'll do a tall Dolly Parton...

:alien: