Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[soundofmusic]

Ah so thats how kraft did it. Looks like you can buy New Zealand too at the push of a button.


Smart young ladies grab their attire, wipe their runny mascara and evacuate before the young prince wakes and finds a mass of cellulite

Thats why we appreciate your female presence, Sounds,- Life from the other side.

Thank you, I feel all warm and fuzzy now Just don't tell the ladies I'm letting you in on the "insider secrets"

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

It is with a great deal of regret...
...Wait until I get my hands on that Gilliatt, business trip indeed !

It wasn't me, remember I was selling sand to the Arabs.

Can I do that? Borrow a couple of billion, take over a company then pass the debt on to that company. While I enjoy my pork scratchings from a silver salver.

Ah so thats how kraft did it. Looks like you can buy New Zealand too at the push of a button.

This is how the deal went down:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU7nG...eature=related

Gilliatt

[prendrelemick]

Irene Rosenfield and Veruca Salt. Are they the same person? I can't help noticing they are never seen together.

[soundofmusic]

Irene Rosenfield and Veruca Salt. Are they the same person? I can't help noticing they are never seen together.

Good one, Irene's the one in drag...She's Veruca's father

[soundofmusic]

Oh boys, where did everyone go Did you find a new clubhouse or pub

[The Atheist]

Oh boys, where did everyone go Did you find a new clubhouse or pub

No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

[jocky]

No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

As usual Atheist you are correct, it is a horrible tale I have to relate. It all started with my new found interest in alchemy. I set up my laboratory in the basement complete with candle, furnace, all the necessary chemical compounds and the forbidden books. I feverishly studied Sir Isaac Newton's alchemical notes and after much blood sweat and tears I can report a degree of success. I am the first man in the planet to have transformed gold into lead. Unfortunately, I used the wife's jewellery for my experiments. If I could just somehow untie myself ( A difficult procedure with so many broken bones ) I may be able to reverse the process.

[gbrekken]

Not to worry Sound, we're all just hibernating in man-made caves; it happens a' times.

[soundofmusic]

Not to worry Sound, we're all just hibernating in man-made caves; it happens a' times.

Glad to hear it, does the cave have cable, surround sound and a tiger-hide couch; if so, I'll be over for the game...I hear that their thinking of getting an all male cheerleader squad for us ladies

No!

I've been soaking up the sun and working, Mick's been guarding the sheep, Gilliat the scotch and jocky's been tied up by his Mrs.

I'm just not sure why....

...but the screams say I shouldn't look.

God, that Jockys a lucky man; to have a woman who can cook and wrestle
You know, Atheist, I don't think you've ever confirmed what or who you work on; but if you can soak up the sun while doing it, I'm changing professions

As usual Atheist you are correct, it is a horrible tale I have to relate. It all started with my new found interest in alchemy. I set up my laboratory in the basement complete with candle, furnace, all the necessary chemical compounds and the forbidden books. I feverishly studied Sir Isaac Newton's alchemical notes and after much blood sweat and tears I can report a degree of success. I am the first man in the planet to have transformed gold into lead. Unfortunately, I used the wife's jewellery for my experiments. If I could just somehow untie myself ( A difficult procedure with so many broken bones ) I may be able to reverse the process.

Have you told the Mrs J. how lucky she is to have a husband with so many talents...Now, if you could transform lead into Jack Daniels and the cork into a fat diamond for the Mrs...

[jocky]

Jack Daniels

It is with great regret that I have to inform you Soundo, that It is my solemn duty to report you to the Cold Ale Committee. The charge, using two unacceptable words when it comes to booze. Don't worry, you will get a fair hearing. Atheist is the presiding judge supported by unimpeachable advice from me, Prendrelemick, Gilliat and Gbrekken. It is just a formality, but I wouldn't book my holidays if I were you.

[soundofmusic]

It is with great regret that I have to inform you Soundo, that It is my solemn duty to report you to the Cold Ale Committee. The charge, using two unacceptable words when it comes to booze. Don't worry, you will get a fair hearing. Atheist is the presiding judge supported by unimpeachable advice from me, Prendrelemick, Gilliat and Gbrekken. It is just a formality, but I wouldn't book my holidays if I were you.

I plead ignorance of the law...I can't be responsible as I am just a girl and drink all those fruity drinks I will hence sit at the corner of the bar with my Plantars Punch and frozen Pina Coladas...

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?

[jocky]

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?

Now, Jocky will have to use his limited vocabulary with great care here. Are you sure you did not mean ' gay cheerleaders ' ? In our great Empire we tend not to wear half a ton of body armour when clattering our enemies. I am sorry Soundo, but I have to report you to The committee again. The charge, pekinolatters.

[prendrelemick]

I will hence sit at the corner of the bar with my Plantars Punch and frozen Pina Coladas...

Do you think I'll get out in time to watch the all guy cheerleaders at superbowl?

You're just making it worse for yourself sounds.

Beware the Witch Finder General ! (Scottish branch)

[soundofmusic]

Now, Jocky will have to use his limited vocabulary with great care here. Are you sure you did not mean ' gay cheerleaders ' ? In our great Empire we tend not to wear half a ton of body armour when clattering our enemies. I am sorry Soundo, but I have to report you to The committee again. The charge, pekinolatters.

Sounds pleads ignorance of the law again; what is pekinolatters?
Yes, you may have something there; they may be gay...do the lads in the UK grab each other in celebration?

You're just making it worse for yourself sounds.

Beware the Witch Finder General ! (Scottish branch)

Thank you for the heads up. I think I'll hide out by Atheists pool until I give them all the slip

[The Atheist]

Yes, you may have something there; they may be gay...do the lads in the UK grab each other in celebration?

Now look here - as rugby shows us, grown men grabbing each other by the crotch is not necessarily gay.

:Thank you for the heads up. I think I'll hide out by Atheists pool until I give them all the slip

Pool? Slip?

I'm getting subliminal messages here.

You didn't really say that Daniels' bloke's name did you? It's a bit like he-who-must-not-be-named in Harry Potter.