Who Is The Worst Writer Ever?

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I think the worst writers in the world are the ones that bore you.

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Fortunately, not everyone is the same. Therefore, unfortunately for the writer, he/she cannot entertain everyone, because everyone is entertained differently. I happen to love Dickens (though I find your comments about him amusing :) ). His humor is dry and "between the lines", but it is entertaining.

The worst writer: Stephanie Meyer.

She may mean well, but she could have done 1,000,000,000,000 times better writing and editing her books. (for example, why rewrite the series from Edward's perspective? Couldn't she have included his perspective from the very beginning?)

Mhm, when I said "bore you" I was speaking specifically of our individual selves :)

Ha - amusing as in stupid?

I have a lot to say about Mr Dickens. Not many people here like my comments about him. But they can climb a tree and chill with the monkey's for all I care.

Yeah Dickens sucks big time, I agree limes

Yeah exactly. Like I said, dirty Dickens.

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Originally Posted by limajean

Yeah exactly. Like I said, dirty Dickens.

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There are rabid Dickens fans here...they may burn us at the stake for this. :p

Dickens Sucks? Egad,Sir, e'en as we speak, ranks of disgruntled Englishmen, armed with pikestaffs and arquebuses are massing by the white ccliffs od Dover, incensed that such a great English tradition should be thus maligned. Dash it all, sirrah, we have our traditions, such as warm, flat beer, the Roast Beef of Olde Englande, and sending gunboats in when insulted. Do not be surprised, Sirrah, if you wake up in the morning to find a big red double-decker bus (right-hand Drive, of course) parked outside your home, full to the gunwales of gentlemen in bowler hats with sharply pointed umbrellas and copies of The Times as shields, about to assail your personage. Damn' poor show what!

:lol:
Awesome.

:) Great!

Can I add that Melville must have been the most boring person ever...Moby Dick had about 10 million chapters on species of whales...the best bit of the book was when Ishmael and Queequeg were sharing a bed and Ishmael watched Queequeg undress, and I don;t think melville intended that to be the highlight...

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Ha - amusing as in stupid?

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No, I didn't mean stupid. I mean amusing as in, they made me chuckle. I didn't get that worked up about what you said about Dickens. It's all in good fun.

I think, gentlemen, I can help you. My last novel has, thus far, sold a total of about 23 copies, several of those to an asylum for the criminally insane. The remainder have been sold to friends, most of whom have not spoken to me since. Indeed, many have actually crossed the road, to avoid me. That being the case, there is a possibility that the Worst Writer Ever is me. I can say this, safe in the knowledge that nobody east of Skegness, a seaside town in England, has ever heard of me, except a certain person in New Jersey that I met in Berlin 23 years ago, to whom I owe 5 Dollars and 25 cents. I offered to settle the debt with a copy of my latest book, but I regret that I cannot post his reply. The permissive age is not that liberated yet. Thank you.

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Originally Posted by dafydd manton

I think, gentlemen, I can help you. My last novel has, thus far, sold a total of about 23 copies, several of those to an asylum for the criminally insane. The remainder have been sold to friends, most of whom have not spoken to me since. Indeed, many have actually crossed the road, to avoid me. That being the case, there is a possibility that the Worst Writer Ever is me. I can say this, safe in the knowledge that nobody east of Skegness, a seaside town in England, has ever heard of me, except a certain person in New Jersey that I met in Berlin 23 years ago, to whom I owe 5 Dollars and 25 cents. I offered to settle the debt with a copy of my latest book, but I regret that I cannot post his reply. The permissive age is not that liberated yet. Thank you.

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Sounds better than Dan Brown.:lol:

Hey, I notice you are from Sheffield too, rock on! :wave:- Skegness brings back horrible memories, it's such an awful place, worst holiday resort of all time, nightmare, would rather stay at home or go to the Tesco for a holiday or something, vile.

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Originally Posted by jon1jt

There are rabid Dickens fans here...they may burn us at the stake for this. :p

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Well, I am a fan of Dickens -- though I've read only a smattering of what's out there. Nonetheless, love it! :nod:

But then, I have been accused of being eclectic -- no, no Harlequin romances **shiver** but a varied selection of reading schtuff! Yes, including S.King and the ilk.

**stomps foot**

Skegness is a bit like Bournemouth. Hoardes of people think "I'm not feeling well, I think I,m going to keel over in the next few weeks, let's move to Skegness". The cemeteries are full of people who went there from places like Sheffield in order to snuff it - and found out that even when you're dead it's cold and uncomfortable.
Noticed on one of your earlier posts that you like to hide in the Peak district. Go past Fox House, past Toad's Mouth and park in the next car-park on the right. Up in the hills is a natural seat made of stone, which is a great place to take a book (and a bottle if someone else is driving). You're out of the wind, but you can't hear a sound from your surrounds. Well worth a try.

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Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Skegness is a bit like Bournemouth. Hoardes of people think "I'm not feeling well, I think I,m going to keel over in the next few weeks, let's move to Skegness". The cemeteries are full of people who went there from places like Sheffield in order to snuff it - and found out that even when you're dead it's cold and uncomfortable

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:lol:
Bournemouth oh god that's another one, been there, done that, so miserable - can't wait till I can afford to go abroad again. Scarborough and Whitby are about the best around Yorkshire for coastal kicks.

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Noticed on one of your earlier posts that you like to hide in the Peak district. Go past Fox House, past Toad's Mouth and park in the next car-park on the right. Up in the hills is a natural seat made of stone, which is a great place to take a book (and a bottle if someone else is driving). You're out of the wind, but you can't hear a sound from your surrounds. Well worth a try.

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Hey yes I like to hide in the Peaks during summer, not much last year because summer was cancelled of course. Yes I go past Fox House (and in it, great pub) Toad's Mouth rings a bell but I don't know it off-hand, I will look out for that though thanks, I don't have a car so drinking and driving is not an issue, just get there on the little bus full of walkers and pensioners, roll on summer. :thumbs_up

If you go past Fox House and keep going, there is sharp left-handed bend, with a strange shaped rock on the right. It's shaped like a Frog's Cakehole, hence the name. The car-park in question is about 500 yards beyond it. Usually an ice-cream van in there, so you can freeze your tonsils when it's about minus 5!! Remember, you can always tell a Sheffield summer - the rain is that tiny bit warmer!!

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Originally Posted by Neely

Sounds better than Dan Brown.:lol:

Hey, I notice you are from Sheffield too, rock on! :wave:- Skegness brings back horrible memories, it's such an awful place, worst holiday resort of all time, nightmare, would rather stay at home or go to the Tesco for a holiday or something, vile.

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Don't diss Tesco! :lol:

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Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Dickens Sucks? Egad,Sir, e'en as we speak, ranks of disgruntled Englishmen, armed with pikestaffs and arquebuses are massing by the white ccliffs od Dover, incensed that such a great English tradition should be thus maligned. Dash it all, sirrah, we have our traditions, such as warm, flat beer, the Roast Beef of Olde Englande, and sending gunboats in when insulted. Do not be surprised, Sirrah, if you wake up in the morning to find a big red double-decker bus (right-hand Drive, of course) parked outside your home, full to the gunwales of gentlemen in bowler hats with sharply pointed umbrellas and copies of The Times as shields, about to assail your personage. Damn' poor show what!

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:lol::lol::lol: love it! Don't mess with Dickens lovers :thumbs_up.

Not so sure about Tescos Kelby, I didn't have a local one, in spite of them buying up every square inch of the country, but guess what, they've opened 2 more relatively near to me now....being a Tesco-free zone has come to an end :(.

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Originally Posted by wessexgirl

:lol::lol::lol: love it! Don't mess with Dickens lovers :thumbs_up.

Not so sure about Tescos Kelby, I didn't have a local one, in spite of them buying up every square inch of the country, but guess what, they've opened 2 more relatively near to me now....being a Tesco-free zone has come to an end :(.

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Tesco are the only company I know, that when you buy a packet of eggs, in a transparent box, there is a label that says "Allergy Advice. Caution. Contains Egg. Other than that, I don't have a beef - one man's meat is another man's mad cow disease!

I don't read enough of anyone I dislike to consider them the worst writer. I try two or three books of an author, and if I dislike them, then I won't say they're the worst ever, because I don't read enough of anyone who I think sucks to accurately say that.

I have to assume a BIG MAJORITY of the posted responses are based on the following premises:

1) You have read maybe less than 15 works that could by consensus be called "literature"

2) You read exactly 1 of this author's work.

3) You did not choose which work to start reading from this author, it was "chosen" for you in an anthology or in required reading in school.

4) You didn't read the part of the first post that the original poster stated "that is generally regarded as LITERATURE"...

It really is unfortuanate that a lot of authors generally held up as being regarded as having written a piece of literature have had a certain work "pigeon holed" and foisted on first time readers of literature as an intro to their work in all the anthologies or "Surveys Of Literature".

If the young reader becomes bored (is not entertained) or has been told such and such a piece should be admired as being "important".... well of course you are going think the writer sucks....

Its too bad really. :bawling:

That said, of course EVERY reader WHATEVER age has come across writers that are just not their cup of tea or style of writing appalls them...that what makes it 'inarestin

But I do suggest that when you get older, come back to some of the writers that you have "written off" and especially a different work than in the anthologies....you may find they become your favorite authors:D

After the venting:crash:

I can't read Paul Auster.

BTW, I love your signature Mopey...I have that DFW quote above my PC. We lost a great one there....:(

the worst writer ever is the writer that never writes because they are self conscious...

ah...me

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Originally Posted by Infinitefox

I don't read enough of anyone I dislike to consider them the worst writer. I try two or three books of an author, and if I dislike them, then I won't say they're the worst ever, because I don't read enough of anyone who I think sucks to accurately say that.

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:nod:

very wise statement...

I don't know about THE worst, but...

I will probably be lynched for saying this, but I have a sincere loathing for Jane Austen.

... and furthermore the earlier posts about Sinclair and Kafka being the worst authors... I have decided to regard as jokes.

but your other two choices are way off base. Dreiser and Wister are two well recognized American authors writing about unrelated subjects. 'Sister Carrie" and 'An American Tragedy' are examples of early 20th century realism and are very good reads. Owen Wister's 'The Virginian' is one of the best renditions of the life of the American cowboy and has been made into many movies and a television series. You are from Wales, I see; perhaps you don't understand these authors of Americana, or you may be very young and not be able to digest such novels as of yet.

But to cast a vote, I vote for Parson Weems, the author of the "Life of George Washington", who promoted the apocryphal 'toss of the silver dollar' or 'the chopping down of the cherry tree'.

i have to say kafka,he is overrated and i never liked his work

Samuel Richardson

I am tempted to say Joseph Conrad but I suppose that would not be entirely fair at this point, I haven't given him much of a chance.

So I think I am going to have to go with Robert Penn Warren. I read two of his books, and they were both bloody awful to get through. They are extremely slow, and dull, and leave me wanting to just pull out my hair after a couple of pages. They are torture to read.

How can Sinclair be on this thread? Seriously guys? (well just one guy from what I read) Did you read anything other than The Jungle?

I personally loved The Jungle. I thought it was fabulous

I don't think anyone who is relatively famous nowadays should even be considered. If they're famous it means that someones likes them and if someone likes them that means that there must be something in the story worth liking, which means that it can't be the worst story ever. Sure there may be stories that you or I don't like, yet others do, so that means that the story cannot be universally called "The worst." To be the worst, a story has to be hated by everyone, and all published, famous pieces of work must've been liked by someone to get that far, so you can't say there the worst. You may dislike a book, which is perfectly fine, but not one person can accurately say what is the worst book ever and who is the worst author.

However, there are certainly books that were hated by everyone who read them, which not surprisingly, meant that the book never got far and became completely forgotten. Those kinds of books, i feel, are the only ones worth nominating as the worst.

One author who constantly wrote books like these was Amanda McKittrick Ros. She has my vote.

Fame does not = talent, especially not in this day and age. Just because something can be sold to the public does not make it good writing.

And as far as this thread is concerned, I think the whole point is that it is the "worst" writing according to the person posting. Obviously we are not all going to agree.

As well just because a book does not gain fame does not by default make it bad, and when it comes to books being hated by the majority such could be for reasons beyond the actual value and worth of the prose. If you consider the time in which the book was written it may have been hated because it was considered too controversial.

There are writers who have fallen into obscurity but it is not because of the quality of the writing.

I second the appreciation for The Jungle in particular and Upton Sinclair in general!

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Originally Posted by mono

Hmm, what a difficult question to answer! I try to find a respect for all authors, published or unpublished.

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Er...why? Some of them are monumentally talentless.

BY the way, my nomination is Jeffrey Archer.

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Originally Posted by Dark Muse

Fame does not = talent, especially not in this day and age. Just because something can be sold to the public does not make it good writing.

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Very true.

"BY the way, my nomination is Jeffrey Archer".

I'd second that ... First Amongst Equals is the only novel I have been unable to finish and I have never read another of his novels.

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Originally Posted by Dark Muse

Fame does not = talent, especially not in this day and age. Just because something can be sold to the public does not make it good writing.

And as far as this thread is concerned, I think the whole point is that it is the "worst" writing according to the person posting. Obviously we are not all going to agree.

As well just because a book does not gain fame does not by default make it bad, and when it comes to books being hated by the majority such could be for reasons beyond the actual value and worth of the prose. If you consider the time in which the book was written it may have been hated because it was considered too controversial.

There are writers who have fallen into obscurity but it is not because of the quality of the writing.

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You know, you're right, I take back what I said. I was not thinking of people's reactions in the present day, and today's views are of course extrememly different from a hundred years ago (which is the time frame i had in mind). I would never say that Dan Brown, Stephany Meyer, Robert Ludlum and the likes are actually worthwhile, and i didn't notice how controversial (to my own opinions) what I said sounded.

What I was trying to say was how, a century ago, not many people could read and even fewer tried to write. Back then, everyone who read had the same understanding of how books should be written and how they should sound. Since everyone shared the same basic opinion, if one person didn''t like a book most people wouldn't end up liking it either.

Of course, that doesn't apply today.

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Originally Posted by Dark Muse

Fame does not = talent, especially not in this day and age.

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Agreed %1000. Millie Vanillie had a #1 record. Enough said.

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Originally Posted by Greekish

i have to say kafka,he is overrated and i never liked his work

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You can't say Kafka is the worst writer ever just because you don't like him, silly.

Owen Wister, Theodore Dreiser, Kafka, just are either nor interested in the subjects these writers pursued or were just not up to digesting their style. The Virginian, An American Tragedy, and The Trial are certainly three books which should be on everyone's reading list. Also, The Jungle (Upton Sinclair) should be read by most everyone.

With that said, the writer who I definitely didn't enjoy Is Virginia Wolf. To the Lighthouse and Orlando are just not my cup of tea, but this doesn't mean she wasn't a good writer.

Kafka is amazing, all you haters :P

I always thought, if we're going by renowned authors, James Joyce. There's just something about him that screams practical joke and I don't find it funny.