I think you might be right, The Atheist.
There has been a significant increase in men's posts since Virgil post that article about internet and brain powers...
:p
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I think you might be right, The Atheist.
There has been a significant increase in men's posts since Virgil post that article about internet and brain powers...
:p
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Comedian
Beeeer!!!!
Its not so much the drink as the ritual of the drink. Take canned for instance, you rip open the ring pull. not giving a damn about the splashes on the carpet, slurp noisely at the foam that emerges, then pour it down the throat, head back to show off your well developed adams apple glugging loudly up and down, until the can is drained. On finishing you go, "Ahhh, I needed that."(As though you have had a hard day working up a man's thirst by performing manly tasks.)then you belch loudly and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. If you are feeling particularly macho, crush the can with your bare hands and pitch it across the room so that it ricochets off the wall and into the waste bin.
I object to foul-mouthed, the rest I can live with.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Ooo Athiest, I hope for your sake the ladies from the coughy thread don't catch that reference. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Ok, I withdraw that baseless accusation but shall let all the others stand!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
No chance. Cafes don't have those papers lying around.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I'm Canadian. For us, that would be beer.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Comedian
http://canadianfermentation.files.wo.../11/molson.jpg
The Brotherhood of Beer does not recognise national boundries.- Well, apart from France!
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Strong Cuban coffee is the drink for me. Come one, Come all ladies: See that in addition to a high IQ and biting wit, I also possess a well defined 6 pack.
Ha!Quote:
Originally Posted by 3wivesandimout
You must be a good bloke - the very first post and you made it in here.
Welcome along!
(Three wives? You are a glutton for punishment!)
Where, in the fridge?Quote:
Originally Posted by 3wivesandimout
*takes out a score card*Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
Papaya: 1
:D
What can I say, great minds lurk in obscure places.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
3 women, it was hell on earth. As an avid collector and connoisseur of exotic flavors, I felt it my duty to imbibe generously!
Is it safe to enter camp again? Have you boys finally come to your senses and run those coffee toting tarts out of here?
I’m off satiating our hunter gatherer instincts in search of meat, Wild Turkey and ale and what do I find upon my return? A cave ransacked by raucous, licentious bantering with a bunch of broads!
Look at this place! Smilies strewn about, nail polish, sliced ham, wedding dresses and vacuum cleaners cluttering up the caves!
What the…!!- mirrors on the roof of the cave?
Jocky, for god’s sake get your kilt back on!
Prendrelemick – you of all people, how could you let these wolves in sheep’s clothing infiltrate the camp?
Didn’t you blokes set the trip wire?
Yes; I admit I left you guys hanging a bit longer than I intended. You see, I met up with a nomadic band of East Texas Magnus Pedi’s who were in the midst of being chased by members of the Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy. I had no choice but to dodge about the piney woods with the furry beasts for a few days until the hunt was apparently called off. I shared some Wild Turkey and tips on how to throw the Conservancy off the trail. In return, Harry, their leader, supplied me with boiled acorns and bags of Jack Links Beef Jerky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4vL-...eature=related
And what do we have here?... a man of three wives… hummh impressive!, but his penchant for coffee has me concerned, as it is the drink of choice for that “other” thread. Coffee can be spiked! Ah, that’s it!. Welcome to the camp pardner!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Did you run into the Louisiana Skunk Ape in your wanderings??
Ladies, Miss Papayahed and Scheherazade, allow me to show you the wonders of 3wives...if you prefer, we can begin with a glass of wine for each. Alas, I will not cloud my senses with such things! I will await the drink of the gods...Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
Thank you, noble hunter. You have arrived at the beginning of our great breeding feast. Visit the river of vitality, wash and examine your basket with one of these fine wenches.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
You mean the rest of your baseless accusations. :) Scrapping Scot, never, only when ordered, or provoked. Yes, the drunken Jock accusation will get some milage on this thread but I deny it completely, hic. As to the Aussie impersonator slur it was not worthy, next thing you will accuse me of being ENGLISH. Thick, I will have to think about that one. Ok, I have thought and have found no intelligent reason to disagree with your assessment. Question, do Kiwis never get drunk, fight, curse, or tell lies ? This is the ' Heart of the Matter ' :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Or the Pickety Witch! Gilliat really needs to get out more often, the supernatural is always bigger and better in Texas. Did you ever hear about the Tartan Lady, she puts the greens, whites and blacks in the shade? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
That 3wives is crazy like a fox, puts a flirtatous post on a men only thread and gets a couple of females to bite straight away. :ladysman:
No wonder he's suffered multiple nuptuals.
They followed me through the back door, mate. The plague of birds that picks at 3wives pockets, they will not take my spirit!Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3wivesandimout
umm, No I walked through the front door. (I stopped following people since that unfortunate court order:cold:)
Ah, a beautiful lady with a sense of humor. Forgive me, sweet lady, it was fear of suffering yet another sad rejection that forced my heartless retreat!Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
Jealous you weren't here when they arrived?Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Never! Some things are still taboo.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
The question should be, "Do they ever do anything else?"Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
drinks-is single malt unfit for manliest, since it's too gentlemanly? No water desired-rusts the pipes. BEER-the manner of drinking is important. Single small can-open bottom with can opener and start sucking it up/down, lift can right side up and pop the top; single glug without the apple's ups and downs. Large can (16 gallon with flexible hose) (some manly assistance required unless..)-grip sides firmly in both hands. Stand on hands (hence the help for those less gorillic). Have spigot placed in mouth and open it. You can stop anytime you need to breathe. Return to upright position and prepare for your next sip. 25 seconds is the longest I've seen someone keg-stand. 1/2 shot Tuaca, 1/2 shot Kahlua, 1/2 shot Bailey's, full shot hot coffee (Cuban okay) and in minutes you're awake and ready to face the day!
Even I would like to hear the goods on me. I could only confirm the truth however, as I'm not the best liar, yet.
Too gentlemanly?Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrekken
I blame jocky for lowering the tome of the Club, thus ending in questions like this. The manliest a man can be is to [B]be]/B] a gentleman, hence, no such thing as "too gentlemanly" is possible.
My apologies, but it seems as though you imbibe beer from metal containers of various sizes.Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrekken
Such pastimes are unknown here, beer coming in glass bottles.
Sounds fascinating, though!
:D
That is so unfair, it was not I that brought up Wales. Gentlemen, humbug :(Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Gbrekken, that was a wonderful discourse on the finer points of getting wasted. The youth of Reno deserve to hear those words of wisdom, so as a favour to you I have posted it unabridged on your school website. One tincy wincy criticism which you may find helpful to your future career, I think you will find all the guys agree on. Never, but never mention Bailey's on a serious discussion on the art, or science of boozing. This can have unforseen and terrible repercussions. As to the urine extraction dont give it another thought as, if Jocky got a quid for every time he had been slagged mercilessly on this thread I would be richer than Bill Gates. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrekken
Ugh.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
My ex-mother in law is Welsh.
If you ever wondered why Wales has that stupid dragon as a national symbol, wonder no more!
Ye ken I love Scotland!
I ken you do Atheist, it is just the inhabitants your no so keen on. Nobody is listening are they, is there something wrong with Mick he has to go to Wales on holiday? You think you know your mates and out of the blue they let you down big time. What a paradox, the land of the beautiful Dylan Thomas and the ugliest women in the western world. As I have always said there is no accounting for taste. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
To all you of a poetical bent, here is a couple of lines from Scotland's second best poet, William Topaz MacGonnagal. THE COO, Loosely translated as the cow. Ahem, The COO, The Coo looks so forlorner, standing there with a leg in each corner. Beat that. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Suddenly my life seems sad!
Two words, Jocky. The Krankies! Aye, hang your head in shame. Or are they another Scottish institution Jocky will claim to be English, like haggis
Nooooo!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Any race which can invent scotch has a special place in heaven.
In fact, I figured out some time ago that mouthwash is about 60% alcohol, which kills the germs. 15 ml @ 60%, I calculated that 25 ml @ 40% is close enough and just use scotch.
You can swallow it after to save flushing the green gunk down the drain - economy, saving the planet and taste good all at the same time!
You've met my ex-mother in law, haven't you?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Ah, Dylan the Thomas. Amazing how many giant talents never learnt to hold their drink.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Outstanding!
Einstein would have killed to come up with that mind blowing formula, that relegates E=MC squared to kid's play. However, I hate to tell you that I tried it for a number of years and lost all my teeth, half my tongue and developed severe liver problems. The one consolation being that I have contributed to saving the planet. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
:redface:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
My batman is at present winging his way to cold comfort farm to throw my guage at your feet. Here is a quick summary of his instructions, Time and Place: Scotch Corner at precisely 7.00 A.M. ( no show will result in humiliation and world wide publication ) Weapons: mutual exchange of insults , or chainsaws. Krankies indeed! :)
Aye Gilliatt, you have reminded me of that old song: When the going gets tough, the Texans get going, usually away from the sound of the guns. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
There is much wisdom here.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
In the end, what difference does it make what the speed of light is, or how relative things are?
Why is it we admire and revere people like Einstein and Newton? Gravity would still exist regardless of Newton's findings, but the inventors of beer and scotch are giants of mankind yet nobody knows their names!
NEWSFLASH : To whom it may concern, Engerland 9 Australia 18. The result of the England v New Zealand rugby league match will be broadcast in my next bulletin. :)
Dinnae tell me ye follow the League?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I believe the Mother Country and ourselves are playing for the right to meet the dastardly Australians in the four-nations cup. Since only four nations play the game to more than schoolboy level, it's revenge for the four-nations World Cup we won from them last year.
World's toughest team sport. All-in brawling for 80 minutes. Why on earth isn't Scotland brilliant at it? Just go to Glasgie any Friday night, scoop up 13 blokes under 30, and there's your team!
:D
ANOTHER NEWSFLASH : It is with a heavy heart I have to report that Engerland have beaten the world champions by 20 points to 12, and it is all your fault Atheist. :(
We were going to take it up, but we couldn't get anyone to remain sober for five minutes. It is not that tough, our ladies bowls team could have beaten that lot without breaking sweat. You realize a certain English individual, who shall remain nameless, has now got all the bragging rights. Can this day get any worse? Oh no, the wife has just ordered me to wash the dishes. :bawling:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I’m afraid I must agree with you, at least regarding the one recent incident where I found myself running side by side with the Magnus Pedi’s trying to dodge the tranquilizer darts being fired at us from the Conservancy. One of the brutes was brought down by a dart that caught him in one of his “big feet”, but I was able to extract it soon enough to avert its deleterious effects. Soon he was up and limping on his good “big foot”. Later that evening while supping on pecans and rabbit haunches, I taught them how to recognize the alarming sound of a bolt action on a rifle being engaged.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
In my experience the art of telling lies always comes down to the details. For example, was it a Magnus pedi minor or a Magnus pedi major ? You will agree that there is a world of difference between a small bigfoot and a big bigfoot. Still, the Conservancy and rabbit haunches does have an authentic ring to it. When it comes to telling whoppers watch Atheist at work. When he is relating one of his fishing exploits no detail, however small, is overlooked. It is no exaggeration to state he is a mastercraftsman in the art of fiction. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
An English Gentleman would never brag. (or wash up)
In a way I would have liked the Kiwis to go to Elland Road and stick it to the Aussies again. There is nothing quite like the sight of the green and gold to stir the blood of yer avarage New Zealand rugby league player.
Last time we played the Aussies at Elland Road, the highlight of the match for me, was the young Austrailian Lady who removed her clothes and ran across the front of our stand pursued by six English yellow coated stewards. They didn't catch her, a state of affairs that reflected what was happening on the pitch.
Aah, that old chestnut. Much ink has been wasted on that subject. Here is Brian Jenner's definition of an English gentleman , ' he would prefer a silver salt cellar that didn't work to a plastic one that did '. As to the washing up, the credit crunch has forced me to let my maid and butler go. In fact, I am thinking of asking Atheist if I could borrow Parker for a while. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I'd reply, but I'm too upset and have thrown my computer out of the window.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Well, after beating their rugby team 4-0 this year, we'll just have to rest on those laurels.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
That's funny; the last description I heard of "gentleman" is a bloke who gets out of the bath to pee.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky