:lol::lol::lol::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
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:lol::lol::lol::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
There is no arguing with good old New Zealand common sense. Come on kids lets go and watch the Tsunami. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael T
Why not?
English still agree to play cricket matches with other countries' teams, don't they?
;)
Let me state unequivocably, I take no pleasure in watching my neighbours getting thrashed and humiliated by their criminal anscestors. Some in my country may be doubled over in laughter, but Jocky is above this. Honesty is my watchword. :)
Not any more.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
Atheist this is just a flavour of what is to come. You had better pray to all the Gods you dont believe in that your lot dont get their asses whipped by Pakistan tomorrow. Mind you, better that than getting humped by your Antipodean neighbours in the final. Life just doesnt get any better than this. :)
I have nothing to say.:mad:
Very cool new avatar. We had some orcas in Auckland harbour a few weeks back, which just happened to coincide with the kids having a day off school.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
I took a guess at where they would end up while we drove 30 minutes to the water and stopped at a beachfront in an estuary.
Right on cue, about 2 minutes after we arrvied, six of the came into the water right in front of us. They were hunting stingrays and came to within 100 feet of the beach.
Outstanding.
Mate, I'll drink to your sadness.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Your honesty is touching. It must be hell when Scotland plays England at something, you're heartbroken whoever loses.
61/2 chasing 233. Very much in the balance.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Just think of that little jug with the ash in it and you'll be fine for the next 10-15 years.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Gilliatt, a piece of sage advice from old Jocky. Read the forum rules, fowl language is not tolerated in this thread. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Would you believe it you won? I had plans for you this week and they are now in tatters. Atheist if you fell in a bucket of crap you would come out smelling of roses. If you win this tournament there must be hope for Scotland yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Silence is golden. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Guys, did I ever tell you about the time I was nearly awarded the Victoria Cross ? I accidentaly shot the company cook. The whole company signed a petition demanding I should be awarded the highest accolade the army could award, even the cook signed it when he eventually recovered from his horrendous injury. There was much deliberation amongst the top brass but sadly it was not to be. What swung it against me was the cook's wife's complaint that I had shot him in the groin and her life was ruined. Gentlemen, there is a fine dividing line between success and failure in this world. Still Jocky V.C. has a nice ring to it.
Amazingly, we have won this tournament a few years back.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Only thing we ever did win, although I'm told we had a tiddlywinks champ some time ago. I think we did rather well at Scrabble as well.
Tiddlywinks and Scrabble should never be underestimated, they are indications of a resolute national identity. Where would the British Empire be without these characteristics ? I digress, you are still not off the hook yet, only victory against the Aussies will redeem you. As to your Orca tale, you might fool Schezherhadze but Jocky is not convinced. I could ask for witness testimony and photographic evidence, but I will not push the issue. Have you heard from farmer Prendrelemick lately? Maybe he saw ' something nasty in the woodshed ' :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I did, No wood! Not even cold comfort there.
In the meantime, a traditional Anglo Saxon message of encouragement to our antipodean brothers:-
KERRRMONNNN YOUUU KEEEEWEEEES!
I was thinking about you earlier.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
In the "why celibacy is good" thread.
I think you provide proof of the proposition.
;)
Yeah!Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
We beat Aussie every 20 years or so and we're just about due...
Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
It may be too late for jocky, but it would seem that the cook is now celibate. Not sure which is more humiliating; having them shot off or cremated and toted around in a terra cotta ash urn?Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
No wood? No worries! - Don’t forget about that fine substitute we’ve discussed and if the old lady dosn't like it; send her to the woodshed.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I was thinking about you earlier.
In the "why celibacy is good" thread.
I think you provide proof of the proposition.
;)
Mmm, brains or sex. I choose fornication.
Atheist I know you feel like you have been kicked very hard in the goolies at this moment in time, but life has its little consolations. If there had been a trophy for the ugliest looking team in the tournament New Zealand would have won it hands down. I thought I would just cheer you up. Boomerangs cant reach Scotland can they? :)
Mate, if you think they're bad, you should check out our rugby team!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/spo...le5730001.ece#
Is it any wonder that Kiwi women go to UK and come back with British husbands?
Boys,
It's time you wish me a happy birthday !
The first round of Wild Wurzel's is on me!
(not sure why it didn't show up on LitNet-must not of entered my B-day on the profile)
I had the old lady fetch me a bottle and some cider.
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...1/IMG_1288.jpg
Many happy returns Gilliat , P-38s, Bourbon and Cider could get you into serious trouble. Your Missus sounds like a real trooper.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
The website didnt work Atheist but I am more than happy to believe you on this one. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Thanks a lot jocky and yes she is. That glass was for my father.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Atheist,
Your website made it as far as Texas-quite funny.
Dubya must have had the signal scrammbled as it headed over the pond.
Did your old man fly one of these things? Hats off to him if he did as they were considered to be aeronautical deathtraps. Lets raise our glasses to fathers, where would we be without them? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Quick spot of the literary connection Prend. Now for the Celtic Scoto message: COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YOUR HARD ENOUGH. I can be found In Papua New Guinea in the Headhunters Tavern. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Happy birthday!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Hmmm.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Try this:
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...heist/haka.jpg
There is no arguing with that Athiest, you Kiwis are scary guys. I can see why all your women are fleeing the country for us handsome Brits. That nearly put me off my porrige. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
^Its fun to stay at the WHYYY .M .C. A. :lol:
Happy Birthday GG, wishing you many happy landings.
Actually, that's a flattering photo of them as well. A couple of the present ones have been banned from entering USA on the basis that they will give rise to sasquatch rumours.
Kamate, kamate kaora!
Sorry. I couldn't resist. Many happy returns, Mr Kiwi.
I'm outta here before I start inadvertently effacing stereotypes.
Carry on, gentlemen.
Happy birthday Gilliatt!!!! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Excellent work!Quote:
Originally Posted by Modigliani
(except it's GG's b'day, not mine)
Mogdliani obviously did not capture the subtle shades of this thread. It is all down to the chiaroscuro. Vasari will be turning in his grave. The lives of artists, I dont know Atheist, what is the World coming to. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Gilliatt, where are you? Birthday parties are never a good idea. What with all that booze and sentiment you might have got behind the controls of the P-38 and tailspinned into Dubya's ranch. The Blokes thread will support you whatever the outcome. Never let it be said that Jocky would let his mates down, apart from Kiwis and Yorkshiremen. :)
Jocky,
I'm still here and feeling fine, or at least now I am after last night and thanks all for the well wishes.
The missus made up a mess of fajitas and I washed it down with a wild wurzel which turned out to be a letahl mix and sent me to the guest room for the remainder of the night.
About the Lightning; yes my father flew the P-38 in the Pacific and your are right the earlier models had a problem with compressibility in extended dives. The problem was solved with hydraulic dive flaps in starting with the "J" model and the lightning came into its own.
Gilliatt
This is a bit of shot in the dark but was your father Major Signa A Gilke who test piloted the lightening? If he was you have a lot to live up to.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
jocky,Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
No, in fact my father arrived in the Pacific toward the end of the war and started flying the Lightning well after the bugs had been ironed out. He flew the later "J" and "L" models in mop up ground support and "keep the peace" sorties. The air war was over for all intents and purposes when he arrived.
Still had a lot to live up to though.
Guys, Soundsofmusic is having a raincoat party to which me and Atheist are graciously invited. I would advise you all to get in touch with her quickly and look out your best macs if you want an invite. Dont miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity? ;)
What you dont believe in Sasquatch? Next thing you will be telling us is you dont believe in the tooth fairy. It is one thing not to believe in God or Gods but quite another to reject Area 51. This is atheism gone wild, you had better read your Richard Dawkins again. To be a strong Atheist means rejecting all Gods completely, almost, but never, I repeat never to reject the undivine supernatural. Next thing you will be telling me is the Loch Ness monster is a figment of my imagination, me who almost saw it. :mad:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
jocky,
I’m having trouble keeping up; first an Austrian governess in a slicker and now bigfoot.
Aye, I can hear the sweet voice of that governess now…”The hills are alive with the sound of Bigfoot” Bigfoot is quite popular here in Texas. There have been numerous documented sightings mostly as a result of the extreme heat and beer.
Here is a “missing link” if you will, to a site that you might find amusing:
http://www.texasbigfoot.org/
Take a look at the sitings map to the right on the page.
Gilliatt
You might have told me earlier Gilliat, now I have missed the Texas Bigfoot conference and they have missed all that experience I had to bring. I did look to the right and saw the bigfoot hunters. They make the All Blacks look handsome. You live and learn mate, live and learn:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Don't we all, mate!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Makes it pretty easy to figure why a good male role model is a useful thing in life.
Uhh...Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I'm sure they have some Japanese porn sites which cater to your needs.
No, I believe in sasquatch ok.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I have a very good friend who has incontrovertible evidence that it exists.
In fact, the site that Gilliatt links to even shows one crossing the road!
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...st/bigfoot.jpg
Amazing. I never knew they moved south as far as Texas. Next they'll be finding them in New Zealand.
Cyptozoology is a great subject. I'm very excited about the latest find:
http://nzcryptozoology.ucoz.com/news/2009-08-15-14
I know quite a lot about "Oour Nessie" as well.
Which one would you recommend. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
If that doesn't silence the doubters once and for all I dont know what will. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I might have bloody known it !Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Prendrelemick this will cheer you up no end. Picture the scene, a packed M.E.N. arena in Manchester two totally commited sides and a real opportunity to put one over on New Zealand, and guess what you won. England have beaten the Kiwis at last, you are now officially the top dogs. It was a close run affair but you prevailed 24-21, let no one underestimate this historical triumph for your FEMALE NETBALL TEAM. Atheist if its any consolation, your team were better looking than the All Blacks, marginally. Well done Mick. :D :D :D.
Did you get to see the Jamaican team?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
That Romalda Aiken could certainly [censored by management]
She is bloody gorgeous, as is the Aussie skipper, Sharelle McMahon.
Now that brings to mind thoughts of Romalda Aiken and Sharelle McMahon...
I am keeping out of this one Atheist, that Three Sparrows might be watching and we could be in big trouble. :lol::lol::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
:lol: Sorry to interupt guys, just flew in from the girls forum and they were having a quilting bee: May I suggest you do a little photo shopping with the tennis lasses. Take the chest of the first, the hair from the second and the hips and legs from the last. Give the mixture that tall beer and you'll have a lovely date:ladysman:Quote:
Originally Posted by bazarov
Apart from all that grunting.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
:confused: Do ladies "grunt" in the UK; we delightfully moan in the states:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick