Ladies, what don't you like to be called by men?

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Originally Posted by Haunted

It wasn't a personal website and I don't have that domain name anymore. That chic chick hatched and moved on :p

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Good for the chick! :thumbs_up :)

why would any girl special to a man want to be called something that a man calls any girl he sees and doesn't know? Chick. Please!

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

why would any girl special to a man want to be called something that a man calls any girl he sees and doesn't know? Chick. Please!

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True, when we are special we deserve an exclusive nickname of our own. Something original that wouldn't be said to refer to anyone else... unless your man uses "chick" only with regard to you... which would be odd, I believe. Of course, in very close relationships. In others, like friendships, it can be used as an affectionate term, as happens in many places, according to previous posters :)

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Aww, I was going to post this... you evil, evil, kasie .... :lol:.....

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:bawling:

How can you be so unkind to me? Don't you know I am a Lady (she said in her best David Walliams accent, twirling her lacy parasol.....)

Though, come to think of it, I have just inherited the post of Family Witch - so.... Watch It. :eek2:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

True, when we are special we deserve an exclusive nickname of our own. Something original that wouldn't be said to refer to anyone else... unless your man uses "chick" only with regard to you... which would be odd, I believe. Of course, in very close relationships. In others, like friendships, it can be used as an affectionate term, as happens in many places, according to previous posters :)

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mmm....but chick just can't....slide for me...does anyone feel different?

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Originally Posted by kasie

:bawling:

How can you be so unkind to me? Don't you know I am a Lady (she said in her best David Walliams accent, twirling her lacy parasol.....)

Though, come to think of it, I have just inherited the post of Family Witch - so.... Watch It. :eek2:

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Family Witch!... Some rank indeed... Any beheading lately? :lol:

Nothing so gross - I just put the 'Fluence out, think Thoughts in your direction.

Okay :nod:
Though I don't really need it... as I was just kidding... :D

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I'm conducting this little poll because I'm curious to find out if ladies really like to be regarded as chicks, babies, honeys, or whatever nickname men often pronounce when addressing someone of the opposite gender.

Personally, I prefer the word lady because it gives me an idea of independence from men. I dislike the word woman because I feel it has an implication that they depend on men, and I feel the same about the word female. And I also imagine there may be a chance that someone may not like the word lady.

And how about these phrases that sound so empty to me like "come on baby", "shake it baby", "hold on baby", "come here baby" and everything ending in baby. Isn't it a way to diminish the feminine condition and nature?

Most of you may think... they are just words and phrases that people already got used to... but in any case I still prefer to address my opposite gender as ladies. And I prefer to be more creative, or at least try to be, if I'm ever to conquer a lady's attention.

So... how about you? I would like your opinions, please.
If you are a lady, what don't you like to be called by men?
If you are a man, what words/phrases don't you like using to address a lady?

(Please take the poll too).
Thanks.

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In point of fact this is a simply matter of understanding. Yes, honeys, babes are very sweet words, and only when affectionate ones use these words, not all.

This does not take away their sense of independence at all.

Finns avoid addressing each other directly as much as possible, so I don't know what I might be called :D

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Originally Posted by blazeofglory

This does not take away their sense of independence at all.

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That's true, though many of them just dislike some of these terms to be used to address them.

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Finns avoid addressing each other directly as much as possible, so I don't know what I might be called :D

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I'm curious :nod:
So you say there's practically no word in Finnish to address women, other than their names? You don't have equivalents in Finnish for "baby", "honey" and the like, as in other languages? In such case, you the Finns must be really polite when talking. Very interesting. Where I live people have lost almost all sense of politeness.
However, I bet there must be a word for saying "lady"... unless there isn't any... is there?

So where are all the broads in this thread? Broads! More broads!

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Originally Posted by The Comedian

So where are all the broads in this thread? Broads! More broads!

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They won't hear you. They never came.

Max, this is really funny; last night, I was speaking to my male friend on the phone, about your thread and then I thought of what he could call me. I heard it used in a play and I thought it was really endearing, sweet the way the guy said it; might be his delivery. He called the woman, (not his girlfriend or wife mind you, but merely his friend), 'Beauty'. I told my friend he could call me 'Beauty' anyday; then I added "I will, from now on, refer to you as Beast!" We got off the phone laughing our heads off. Today he called me to bestow my new nickname on me and say... "Beast was leaving this phone message." We should have a lot of fun with these titles of exaltation and admiration; what do you think? See what you started, Max! LOL

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Originally Posted by Janine

Max, this is really funny; last night, I was speaking to my male friend on the phone, about your thread and then I thought of what he could call me. I heard it used in a play and I thought it was really endearing, sweet the way the guy said it; might be his delivery. He called the woman, (not his girlfriend or wife mind you, but merely his friend), 'Beauty'. I told my friend he could call me 'Beauty' anyday; then I added "I will, from now on, refer to you as Beast!" We got off the phone laughing our heads off. Today he called me to bestow my new nickname on me and say... "Beast was leaving this phone message." We should have a lot of fun with these titles of exaltation and admiration; what do you think? See what you started, Max! LOL

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:lol: Beauty and the Beast! :lol:
I began a title revolution :p
Wait until I come up with new revolutionary threads... next episode next week, same time, same channel :lol:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I'm curious :nod:
So you say there's practically no word in Finnish to address women, other than their names? You don't have equivalents in Finnish for "baby", "honey" and the like, as in other languages? In such case, you the Finns must be really polite when talking. Very interesting. Where I live people have lost almost all sense of politeness.
However, I bet there must be a word for saying "lady"... unless there isn't any... is there?

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Surely there are words you can use to address people, it's just that they are rarely used. For example Finnish equivalent to "honey" woud be "kulta" ("gold"), but it is mostly used when you're in a relationship.

If a random guy you've never met comes to talk to you, he wouldn't say "Hey babe", he'd probably start with saying simply "Hi". That's what I mean when I say we Finns avoid addressing each other directly.

When in many languages and cultures it's normal to include the other person's name in conversation every once in a while, Finns don't do that. Usually we only use each other's names when we need to get their attention. If I were to meet you, I guess I'd only say "Hi Max" if you were looking in another direction and didn't see me. If you already saw me there, I'd probably just say "Hi" :) It makes a Finn uncomfortable to talk to someone who repeats your name in every other sentence :D

And about "lady", there isn't really a word for that in Finnish. When America's Next Top Model format was turned into a Finnish reality show, many of Tyra's lines were directly translated (like "I have eleven beautiful girls standing in front of me..."), and I have to say that many of them sounded really formal and awkward in Finnish (mostly because in Finnish spoken and written language are very different, and the translations were written language). When in the American show the judges often say "Hello ladies", in the Finnish version they had to say "Hei tytöt", "Hi girls" because we don't have that word "lady" :D

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Surely there are words you can use to address people, it's just that they are rarely used. For example Finnish equivalent to "honey" woud be "kulta" ("gold"), but it is mostly used when you're in a relationship.

If a random guy you've never met comes to talk to you, he wouldn't say "Hey babe", he'd probably start with saying simply "Hi". That's what I mean when I say we Finns avoid addressing each other directly.

When in many languages and cultures it's normal to include the other person's name in conversation every once in a while, Finns don't do that. Usually we only use each other's names when we need to get their attention. If I were to meet you, I guess I'd only say "Hi Max" if you were looking in another direction and didn't see me. If you already saw me there, I'd probably just say "Hi" :) It makes a Finn uncomfortable to talk to someone who repeats your name in every other sentence :D

And about "lady", there isn't really a word for that in Finnish. When America's Next Top Model format was turned into a Finnish reality show, many of Tyra's lines were directly translated (like "I have eleven beautiful girls standing in front of me..."), and I have to say that many of them sounded really formal and awkward in Finnish (mostly because in Finnish spoken and written language are very different, and the translations were written language). When in the American show the judges often say "Hello ladies", in the Finnish version they had to say "Hei tytöt", "Hi girls" because we don't have that word "lady" :D

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I will have to keep all this in mind. It will help me avoid bad manners if I ever visit Finland :)

Thank you very much, lady Anna ;)

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I will have to keep all this in mind. It will help me avoid bad manners if I ever visit Finland :)

Thank you very much, lady Anna ;)

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Don't worry, as long as you speak English I think you'll be forgiven :D

Now that I've said that people here don't like to address each other directly and therefore words like "babe", "chick" and so on are used, I must admit that there has been a debate much like this topic going on in Finland these past days.

In Finland it is normal to call strange men "uncles" and women "aunts". Not to their face (no one would try to catch your attention by calling "hi aunt!"), but when they are talking about someone to another person. For example in a bus a mother might tell her child to "go sit next to that aunt there". Also people of certain professions are often called aunts or uncles, for example kindergarten teachers, mailmen, lunchladies... Librarians are often called "library aunts".

What causes some debate is that many people feel old when they here someone talk about them this way. I admit it was a shock when I first heard myself being referred to as an aunt when I was only a teenager, maybe 14 years old :p Now that I work in different libraries I hear myself being called an aunt almost every day and I have gotten used to it, so I don't take any offence. Really, those who refer to me as an "aunt" or a "library aunt" are mostly mothers and fathers who are talking to their children, so it's perfectly understandable. I mean, from a little child's point of view anyone over 12 years old is practically an adult, so it's natural for them to think of them as "aunts" and "uncles".

So I don't mind being called an aunt. Being referred to as a "woman" would sound too cold and clinical, to a child I'm hardly a "girl" anymore (though I feel like one myself and don't mind if older people refer to me as one) and "miss" is just too formal in Finnish.

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Don't worry, as long as you speak English I think you'll be forgiven :D

Now that I've said that people here don't like to address each other directly and therefore words like "babe", "chick" and so on are used, I must admit that there has been a debate much like this topic going on in Finland these past days.

In Finland it is normal to call strange men "uncles" and women "aunts". Not to their face (no one would try to catch your attention by calling "hi aunt!"), but when they are talking about someone to another person. For example in a bus a mother might tell her child to "go sit next to that aunt there". Also people of certain professions are often called aunts or uncles, for example kindergarten teachers, mailmen, lunchladies... Librarians are often called "library aunts".

What causes some debate is that many people feel old when they here someone talk about them this way. I admit it was a shock when I first heard myself being referred to as an aunt when I was only a teenager, maybe 14 years old :p Now that I work in different libraries I hear myself being called an aunt almost every day and I have gotten used to it, so I don't take any offence. Really, those who refer to me as an "aunt" or a "library aunt" are mostly mothers and fathers who are talking to their children, so it's perfectly understandable. I mean, from a little child's point of view anyone over 12 years old is practically an adult, so it's natural for them to think of them as "aunts" and "uncles".

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"Aunt" and "uncle" are terms very much used in Spain as well (it would be "tía" and "tío" in Spanish, respectively). But in Spain it's even used to address people directly, so you can hear indirect address going like "who's that uncle over there?" and direct address of the type "hey you, uncle, come over here!".

In my country the same goes on with "vieja" and "viejo" which, put into plain English, mean "old woman" and "old man". Terms even used (especially used) among teenagers talking to/about each other, maybe because they want to "grow old" faster? Who knows... what I believe is that being called an "old woman" when you are clearly young is weirder than being called an "aunt" :p

At least you Finns still observe more politeness in your language habits ;)

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Being referred to as a "woman" would sound too cold and clinical, to a child I'm hardly a "girl" anymore (though I feel like one myself and don't mind if older people refer to me as one) and "miss" is just too formal in Finnish.

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I feel the same about being called "man" myself. Thanks so much for sharing a piece of your country's culture, "aunt Anna" :p :D

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

:lol: Beauty and the Beast! :lol:
I began a title revolution :p
Wait until I come up with new revolutionary threads... next episode next week, same time, same channel :lol:

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Yeah, really! My friend is having such a fun time with his new title - he even roars like a beast. Yes, see what you started, Max! :lol: By the way, you can refer to me as 'beauty' anyday of the week, too... I rather like it.

I call my grand-daughter a variety of endearing names - precious, beautiful, blue eyes, sweet pea, sweetie pie, cutie pie....but then, she is only one years old. :)

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Originally Posted by Janine

Yeah, really! My friend is having such a fun time with his new title - he even roars like a beast. Yes, see what you started, Max! :lol: By the way, you can refer to me as 'beauty' anyday of the week, too... I rather like it.

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Okay "beauty", I will call you "beauty"... but don't call me "beast", deal? ... not even once in a week... it doesn't have the same appeal.... :lol:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Okay "beauty", I will call you "beauty"... but don't call me "beast", deal? ... not even once in a week... it doesn't have the same appeal.... :lol:

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oh OK......grrrrr......:lol::lol::lol::D

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Originally Posted by Janine

oh OK......grrrrr......:lol::lol::lol::D

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:lol: :lol: :D

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

"Thanks so much for sharing a piece of your country's culture, "aunt Anna" :p :D

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Anytime :D To me one of the best things about an international forum like this is the opportunity to learn more about different countries and cultures :) "Aunt Anna" or "Anna-täti" just loves learning new things :D

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Anytime :D To me one of the best things about an international forum like this is the opportunity to learn more about different countries and cultures :)

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To me too ;)

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

"Aunt Anna" or "Anna-täti" just loves learning new things :D

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So does "Uncle Max" :D .... would that be "Max-setä" in Finnish? Is "setä" the Finnish word for "uncle"?

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

To me too ;)

So does "Uncle Max" :D .... would that be "Max-setä" in Finnish? Is "setä" the Finnish word for "uncle"?

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Yup, that's it :) "Setä" is the form of "uncle" you can use referring to any male, but when it comes to real relatives, "setä" is always your father's brother. Mother's brother would be called "eno", but that word is never used in addressing strangers. "Täti", however, applies to both parent's sisters. I don't really have any idea why there is a difference between maternal and paternal uncles but all aunts have the same name...

...

"Round here we call them birds, not *****es"

Ha!

This is rather ridiculous.

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Yup, that's it :) "Setä" is the form of "uncle" you can use referring to any male, but when it comes to real relatives, "setä" is always your father's brother. Mother's brother would be called "eno", but that word is never used in addressing strangers. "Täti", however, applies to both parent's sisters. I don't really have any idea why there is a difference between maternal and paternal uncles but all aunts have the same name...

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"eno" also means "a large river", right? Like "Lätäseno"?

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

"eno" also means "a large river", right? Like "Lätäseno"?

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In Laplandish language, yes, a big or a fast-flowing, rapid river :) Someone's been doing some research :D

Eno meaning mother's brother might come from a word "enä" which means "big", referring to mother's brother's importance children's lives in past days. (Word "enä" doesn't exist by itself, but it's in words like "enemmän" and "enää", "more" and "anymore")

(I really should get an etymological dictionary of my own :D)

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

In Laplandish language, yes, a big or a fast-flowing, rapid river :) Someone's been doing some research :D

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I've been researching because I'm curious :D
So Lapland is the Northern province, right? Laplandish would be a Finnish dialect? Are there many dialects there?

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Eno meaning mother's brother might come from a word "enä" which means "big", referring to mother's brother's importance children's lives in past days. (Word "enä" doesn't exist by itself, but it's in words like "enemmän" and "enää", "more" and "anymore")

(I really should get an etymological dictionary of my own :D)

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Finnish sounds as an interesting tongue. Professor Tolkien once said he had become "quite intoxicated with its sounds". I suppose that's why he picked it to be somewhat a basis for his Quenya.
Is it true that Finnish stresses words always on the first syllable? Are there any exceptions?

I don't know why it is so difficult for men to just avoid using all pet names (dear), terms of affection (honey), fruits (peach), mildly derogatory 'just joking' terms (broad), diminishing terms (dearie), distancing terms (the Missus). and others, when speaking to and referring to women other than their loved ones. And I would never use 'broad.' Not never!

I don't think any man should regard himself as that much of a god that women should swoon at his feet and automatically forgive him his language.

But then again I am just an old f**t by now. :brickwall

A coworker sometime refers to his wife as "My Bride", kinda cute, no? (they've been married 20+ years)

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Originally Posted by papayahed

A coworker sometime refers to his wife as "My Bride", kinda cute, no? (they've been married 20+ years)

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I had a co-worker who referred to his wife as his first wife. :lol: He was only married that one time and though he had been married something like 20 years he felt it should always be a consideration. I never did meet his wife, so I don't know what she thought of it. Of course he said it with a twinkle in his eye.

Papaya, I've heard men use that term My Bride before and I thought it was rather sweet too. It's like they stay eternally young; well if they were married young, that is.

Virgil, I am not sure about that guy calling his only wife his first wife. That would spook me; I would think either I don't have long to live or else I am dombed in some other way. I don't particularly think it's too funny. But the guy is probably a kidder and he just is making a sort of joke. Hope his poor wife doesn't hear it.

I know this married couple, who always crack me up. She is Jewish and he is Christian, so his wife refers to him (very lovingly) as the Gentile. They both are nice people who love to be sweet with each other. I always got such a kick out of it, but that was personal to them, so no offense was ever intended.

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I've been researching because I'm curious :D
So Lapland is the Northern province, right? Laplandish would be a Finnish dialect? Are there many dialects there?

Finnish sounds as an interesting tongue. Professor Tolkien once said he had become "quite intoxicated with its sounds". I suppose that's why he picked it to be somewhat a basis for his Quenya.
Is it true that Finnish stresses words always on the first syllable? Are there any exceptions?

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Yes, northern part of Finland is called Lapland, but Lapland extends to Sweden, Norway and Russia too. There's the northern dialect of Finnish, but there's also a whole different language called Sami. I'm not sure which one the word "eno" meaning "river" comes from, though.

There are several dialects of Finnish. They are divided into eastern and western dialects, or more spesifically into seven different groups. All the dialects are different, but not different enough to prevent Finns from understanding each other. Dialects are mostly spoken, and most of the written text is in "standard language" that is the same everywhere. Everyone knows the standard language, but no one really speaks it. As I've mentioned before, in Finnish written and spoken language are rather different.

Yes, the stress is always on the first syllable. The only exceptions would be some loanwords that come from other languages, but mostly even those are "Finnished" so that they fit the Finnish pronunciation :)

:) It depends on what the circumstance is on whether or not I dislike being called something. If it is a relationship sweet kind of thing..I don't think I'd mind being called any of the options on the poll....now...if it is some guy just hitting on me.....well...that's different.

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Originally Posted by Morden

I don't think any man should regard himself as that much of a god that women should swoon at his feet and automatically forgive him his language.

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Agreed! :thumbs_up

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Originally Posted by Morden

But then again I am just an old f**t by now. :brickwall

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I'm sure you're not, but even if you were, your opinion is valuable as well :)

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Originally Posted by papayahed

A coworker sometime refers to his wife as "My Bride", kinda cute, no? (they've been married 20+ years)

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Very cute :)

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Originally Posted by Virgil

I had a co-worker who referred to his wife as his first wife. :lol: He was only married that one time and though he had been married something like 20 years he felt it should always be a consideration. I never did meet his wife, so I don't know what she thought of it. Of course he said it with a twinkle in his eye.

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Often a wife keeps for herself whatever she thinks about her husband, for obvious reasons, unless they've reached some sort of agreement about certain jokes... when they are just jokes :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Janine

Papaya, I've heard men use that term My Bride before and I thought it was rather sweet too. It's like they stay eternally young; well if they were married young, that is.

Virgil, I am not sure about that guy calling his only wife his first wife. That would spook me; I would think either I don't have long to live or else I am dombed in some other way. I don't particularly think it's too funny. But the guy is probably a kidder and he just is making a sort of joke. Hope his poor wife doesn't hear it.

I know this married couple, who always crack me up. She is Jewish and he is Christian, so his wife refers to him (very lovingly) as the Gentile. They both are nice people who love to be sweet with each other. I always got such a kick out of it, but that was personal to them, so no offense was ever intended.

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I have heard some men referring to their wives as "my bride, my wife and my lover". Some of them surely mean it so as to apply it outside of a sheer comment, while others say it in a condescending way, so as to deceive their wives while they have their furtive adventures outdoors :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by grace86

:) It depends on what the circumstance is on whether or not I dislike being called something. If it is a relationship sweet kind of thing..I don't think I'd mind being called any of the options on the poll....now...if it is some guy just hitting on me.....well...that's different.

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Thanks for posting and taking the poll! :)

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Originally Posted by Janine

Virgil, I am not sure about that guy calling his only wife his first wife. That would spook me; I would think either I don't have long to live or else I am dombed in some other way. I don't particularly think it's too funny. But the guy is probably a kidder and he just is making a sort of joke. Hope his poor wife doesn't hear it.

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Yes he was a kidder. I never saw the wife so i don't know what her reaction was.

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Yes, northern part of Finland is called Lapland, but Lapland extends to Sweden, Norway and Russia too. There's the northern dialect of Finnish, but there's also a whole different language called Sami. I'm not sure which one the word "eno" meaning "river" comes from, though.

There are several dialects of Finnish. They are divided into eastern and western dialects, or more spesifically into seven different groups. All the dialects are different, but not different enough to prevent Finns from understanding each other. Dialects are mostly spoken, and most of the written text is in "standard language" that is the same everywhere. Everyone knows the standard language, but no one really speaks it. As I've mentioned before, in Finnish written and spoken language are rather different.

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Thanks for explaining. Now I know a lil more about linguistics :)

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Originally Posted by Annamariah

Yes, the stress is always on the first syllable. The only exceptions would be some loanwords that come from other languages, but mostly even those are "Finnished" so that they fit the Finnish pronunciation :)

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Hmm... so the Finns finish words with a "Finnished" finish :p :D

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Hmm... so the Finns finish words with a "Finnished" finish :p :D

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Yup, and it's better to be Finnish than finished :p