in a way you may be right ,,,,,,,,,,
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in a way you may be right ,,,,,,,,,,
The Flowery Monochromat
-------------------------
Roses are blue
Violets are red
YES I AM colorblind
Don't listen to what I said
Carroll
Tis the sleaze on 221B Folly,
Faraway beach near Rockaway--
Deck that jerk, he insulted Trolly,
Peanut butter and raspberry jam..
Drown we now our grey Ferrari,
Icy curve boys she got away!
Headed for a Yuletide party,
Don't worry guys, the booze made it OK!
What the blazes is wrong with Aimus?
Fah! Who spiked this bleeding Christmas punch?
Strike three, Robin! Leave the darts to us!
Caviar again? Bleetch! Had it for lunch!
This is a pint? Where'd you learn to measure?
That's it--Sleepy is fired from tending the bar!
Kilted brought Scotch! A family treasure!
Who's that little green guy chasing Kelly over there?
Whoops! There goes Poppy, one down on the table crashes!
I just got that joke man! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Here comes Granny with her eyes all bright and flashes!
I do, ha, hope she'll, (har!) go easy on (hee) the poor guy!
Awright now, sing: Should auld acquaintance be fergot,
And never brought to mind? ( They don't mind by now, fer sure!)
Shoullld auld ac-hic-quaitence be fore-got
And the days when we wake up and reach for ibuprofen for cures!
(Or plop plop fizz, fizz)
Pendragon
hey! I know how much a pint is! 568 ml! .... well, you could be right about the practical side, though :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
hilarious poem, Uncle Pen
If you have ever heard Mark Hamil do The Joker's voice on the Animated Batman Series, imagine the poem read in that voice. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...west/Joker.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by SleepyWitch
hey, I know it was a joke :) I was just teasing you :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
Don & me' re
Gay apparel
No! You tempt me too strongly! Here is one of the myriad poems I sent in to the poetry.com scam contest thing. I'm hoping they all get published. I would put the others here, because they're even worse than this, but they're too obscene :D
On a Shingle
In the beginning,
God queried Adam,
"Adam, how wast thou into
This here creation brought?"
Quoth Adam,
"Lord, thou hath shat upon
A shingle, and defecated into
Thy new creation.
Thou came on the Earth,
And from thy seed wast I borne."
To which the Lord replied,
"Thou art true, Adam!"
And all was well and good.
--Art C. Dorkus
this ain't no bad poem--it's dirty !
here comes a mozzie buzzing round my head
With a whack and a smack,
It will soon be dead,
Then I realise.
I forgot about this,
When i went outside
To take a piss
On the way back
in side the seller
I say a wasp nest.
Im a crap rhymer guys
Second
Whoever said love can’t be measured?
Count every time he tells you
“Well, they can’t expect you to do that.”,
when there’s no reason why they can’t.
Add to that the precise width and breadth
of every time he doesn’t even need
to swallow his pride because
he left himself at home.
Now weigh how many times you get the girl
while he’s the nice and cuddly uncle
and multiply that by the square root of
the times you turn whoever you talk to
into an audience just by clearing your throat.
Add how often some hanger-on has
painstakingly sifted through the grey
to paint him black and give you your share of white.
Whoever said you can’t measure love got it
wrong
or right,
depending on the reference
of you
I did this for no reason...it sucks, alot :)
“The Molting Mask”
Where is she?
I don’t know why,
Because she told me
She’d be here
And I told her
I’d be here,
And we’d be together
Together forever
And ever and ever.
Oh there she is!
Over there!
Watching the emptiness
Of this place
And now she’s turning
Turning and facing
Towards me,
Towards me.
And I just keep watching,
And I just keep looking,
And I just keep seeing,
Her, in this battleground,
Her, in this lost Cause.
Then she sees me
And I see her
And I keep staring
Then we keep staring
At each other,
Towards her
Towards me.
And then she says,
‘I want you to
Do me a favor,
A favor for me
Right now, right here,’
And I say,
‘Anything,
Anything for you my dear,
What is it
I can do,
What you can’t do
Without me?’
And then she says,
Sighing,
Sighing and trying
To find the right words
To not be so abrupt,
She says that
‘You have to kill me,
Kill me and make sure
There’s not a soul
Left in me breathing.
Please do this for me
‘Cause I can’t find no other way,
No other way to stop me.
To make me stop getting,
Out of control
Because I think
There’s something,
Something inside me,
Eating, and taunting and feeling
What I feel.’
And then she stopped,
Waiting, waiting for me to
Say something, do something,
And I did nothing,
Did something and nothing.
I looked at her
And she looked at me
And I saw her
And she saw me
And I saw her looking
Looking at me. And she saw
What I saw looking at her.
Then she started melting,
Disappearing,
Dying, resigning, sighing, solemnly.
She’s dropping to the floor,
Her face dripping down
To nothing, her skin is
Peeling, peeling and chipping,
Out of its original,
Original state.
All the time she was looking,
Looking at me watching her
Watching me watch her, to see what
I am, what I am is what she is
And she sees what I see in her,
And what I see is me,
Looking at me, and she’s in shock
Looking at me in shock
And I see death’s face
Staring at my face, who’s staring
At my face, staring at me.
She’s not, anymore,
And I am her, so
I’m not me—I’m the
Reflection of the death of myself!
seems you recorded one of your dreams? it gives two impressions:: les. and death! however, both ways it looks fine !
hark !!! who goes there,
the shark,
whose bite
is worse than his bark.
the fact remains,
when it is dark,
the shark,
as he pulls out his sheath,
discovers he has no teeth,
having to instead hide underneath.
O save the shark,
save the shark,
let us take him to a nice old park.
maybe there he shall find his fin,
amidst a bottle of gin,
that shall be his tonic,
until then he is sub-sonic
I forgot he does not drive,
'cos all he knows,
is how to dive
courtesy, Ghamgeen
oh my, this is cool. it had me laugh out loud :)Quote:
Originally Posted by mazHur
who's Ghamgeen Lalljee
There was a young man from Kent
Whose wick was exceedingly bent
To save himself trouble
He had it bent double
So instead of coming he went
COURTEY: NR
That's not bad, Maz, that BAWDY! :blush:
thanks,,,but that is a variation of one of my friends utterances !
On the evening when I first arrived,
The Doctor sceamed, "Dear God! That Thing is alive!"
Now I watch people faint
Who dare look me in the face--
Never knowing I wear a mirror for a disguise! :p :lol:
Stik to it with a bit of a skit
YOu are a twit you bit of kit
Got to be bobbly whatever your poppery crockery
Golly how it glugs up gloppy sloppy jalopies shoppy
Same day you say
whatever day It don't matter
look at the clouds and watch them scatter
hoooooray
It's going to be OK, Ray,
well, alright not for you,
but even though you can't admit it
I know you feel low about how it was for me
and I can tell you
It's OK!
Lots and lots to like here. I especially like 'er, you've got...forget it.'Quote:
Originally Posted by SleepyWitch
Sure I saw you having it large down the dog last tuesday
You woz with yer old fella and he slobbered on ya proper
all beery and that, he's a messy old prat and I'll tell ya
I was like, na, this bird must have self image issues
being with a half toothless spitting old sack of soak like
this geezer, she doesn't know she's born let alone
built and souped to make a red blooded boy groan
spit on the hop gog pop rock shock jock
shappetty shop shop shag shrug lug glug
Go for it! The new car can be yours
You've just got to believe
and get lucky on a spin of the wheel
don't worry, just do what you feel
walk on your hands and wave with your feet
Hi!
Sorry to see you looking so low.
As it goes it goes it goes
You wiggle your little bitty toes
and it really shows shows shows
that it never snows
so where is the end oh friend
somewhere around the bend
beyond where a letter will send
beyond your special blend
I've never seen anything in any place
for I'm too short too see over the wall!
and no one has ever seen my face
or heard my telephone calls
Here's what they say, each one:
Hi there, petunia, I'm calling about the job
I've heard it's going to be a lot of fun
I heard about it from your cousin Bob.
Sunday is a day of rest
so I spend it desperately trying to relax
I can't stop thinking about stocks and shares
unless I OD on Xanax.
hey this is cool, Uncle Pen!Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
:lol: i'd like to laugh out loud but I'm at the student IT centre and the other students would think I'm crazy :)Quote:
Originally Posted by blp
I think you're crazy too. I meant that to be a very serious piece. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by SleepyWitch
some guys talk big
mock, criticize and laugh at
others, God being no exception
they think they are all-knowledge,
self-born like amoeba
propel their way like paramecium
and will be reborn like earthworms
that there is no heaven or hell
that they are immune from divine
accountability
nonsense!
they live in fool's paradise
know nothing, nothing!
will they tell us if they have
ever seen the teeth of a termite,
the limbs of a snake,
the nose of an ant?
To Beauty in Chains
mazHur
nothing attracts more
than beauty veiled
beauty when exposed
just loses its charm
farther deep down the skin
it's all filth and crap;
How about then
hiding behind a veil
a burqah, my love?
For I am the designated one
he who was indicated by the prophecy
the one who will lead the children of Kaw
Into a land of efficacy
This is what it looks like when I try to write a poem in less than an hour
I know what lifes about
I take what it gives, which might be doubt
I wanna take children to visit the pied piper's house
I'm lazy but I don't like to slouch
That's why my back doesn't drown down on the couch
I know of no way called the promised route
All things are like one, but not part of Tao
Or whatever word you have for destiny farther down
Flowing like a river
With beauty glowing like guenhwyvar
Idealism can be like that
It's like The Wall you must fight back
Tear it down just to get your life back
I hate poetry because most of what I write's crap
No figurative meaning I'll up-front use white crack
My metaphors suck like when your hair's in bike hats
My meter's so off but I know some trite facts
I don't like when when I'm bad at stuff so spite that
...
There, thats a bad poem, a poem with no words.
you're so damn good at these blpQuote:
Originally Posted by blp
this one made me chuckle out loud
Thanks, Penser. Means a lot coming from you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Il Penseroso
hehe, this sounds like a rap song :thumbs_upQuote:
Originally Posted by Oniw17
Jubert de Schubert
has eaten too much camembert
he has so expanded his girth
he must now wear a skirt