Originally Posted by
Janine
amalia, I certainly agree with you. One has to put the book into the context of the time. Back then it was the norm for a young girl to wait till marriage to have sexual intercourse, so that actually Miriam's behavior is probably typical, and especially when if a young man, such as Paul, (whom we have no doubt she does loves), pressures her into the act. I don't think either of them were wrong, but Miriam was not ready for sex and so it is sad because most likely it is a social and moral issue with her and part of her upbringing. As you pointed out, in today's world, Paul's behavior would not have been frowned upon; unless one was strickly religious and still believed in this way...in that case I would not call the behavior 'laughable' but respect whatever a person decides to do. It is true that at this time the book was written at a time when attitudes were slowly changing, but only for some. Lawrence paved the way, in many instances, with his writings and books for more openness on these issues. Another thing is that his books were often censored. Nowdays they would not be so - rather they would be considered mild compared to many. Also, if you read further into Lawrence's writings, he believed people actually thought too much and were too intellectualized and lost the essense of enjoyment in sexual relationships. Remember me referring to Paul's (and Lawrence's) mother and father as having 'head speech' and heart speech'. I know all this gets confusing, but Miriam and Paul, in my eyes overlapped when it came to issues of the heart and love of nature, interests such as art and literature, but when it came to the 'physicality' of life and living and relationships, Miriam could not let herself go and give herself up fully to Paul. I think that Mrs. Morel had her relationship with the visiting preacher who was on this same plane of intellectual thinking, but of course that was loveless and not physical. I think that Miriam posed a threat because she, too, was intellectual and less physical. Remember the father was more physical and the Mrs. Morel retired, recoiled from him. Isn't it sort of the same with Miriam? Now Clara comes along and she is so much different - more independent and spirited - and Mrs. Morel probably does not feel she can have control over Clara, and as you said most likely she does not see him marrying her or see her as a threat, in one way, for the future of Paul. She knows she will be a 'temporary' thing with Paul and a part of his growing up, whereas the potential to work it out with Miriam still exists and that could turn into a permanent union. Perhaps too, she sees, if he did continue with Miriam and marry, this would be mimicing the bad marriage she has as a result, for she knows ultimately that Paul will not be happy in that type of union.
Mostly, I think that Mrs. Morel does want to keep Paul for herself. I think that had she not died, she would have kept exerting her control over him. As he said, in one part of the book, his goal was to have a small house and paint and live alone with his mother. Of course, this is not a 'normal' thing for a young man to long for, although in the book he was quite young when he was thinking in that vane.
