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Waking and melting
eye of curiosity
view beyond the wall

View beyond the wall
Black hearts weep like crawling stones
Death will march itself

Death will march itself
will happily tread towards us
with importance

Nice irony, dear Pensy..

Full of happiness
Whenever you see his face
Tides will swallow me

tides will swallow me
as I paint the commonplace
with importance (since Pensive's got skipped)

with importance (since Pensive's got skipped)
Loves not important
I drown myslef in the bath

I drown myself in the bath
Deceptions long past
Murderous time stalks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Janine

I drown myself in the bath
Deceptions long past
Murderous time stalks

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Getting better Janine. I like that last line.

Murderous time stalks
The dark streets of Manhattan.
How will you save him?

Thanks dramasnot.

I've done this sort of thing on another forum, so I have lots of practice.

How will you save him
who wilts by helping fingers,
a stubborn flower?

a stubborn flower
petals of sinewy tone
and trampoline bounce

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Virgil

Getting better Janine. I like that last line.

Murderous time stalks
The dark streets of Manhattan.
How will you save him?

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Thanks - maybe practice helps. That last line made a great first one. I like yours. Think I would like the "the" to be like "dank dark streets...something more rank would be better. Gee, now I am giving advice and I am still pretty lame in writing them myself! sorry :blush:

and trampoline bounce
balloons bursting in thin air
Circus comes to town!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Janine

and trampoline bounce
balloons bursting in thin air
Circus comes to town!

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Excellent!!!:thumbs_up

Circus comes to town
And Boy decides to run off.
Perfect cannon ball.

Yay! Go Janine!!
Perfect cannon ball
Ships staring with thirsty gore
Pirates Tete a Tete

Pirates Tete a Tete
Swords sharpened gnawing sharks teeth
Fast fury begins