Antimacassar: Consort to Uncle Macassar
Jellyfish
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Antimacassar: Consort to Uncle Macassar
Jellyfish
Jellyfish: Consistency of the spine of the average man who knows everything
Wishbone:
Wishbone: A forked bone used in pulling contests originally belonging to a bird whose wish was not granted.
Economy:
Heh heh. Good one.Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
Economy: What Middle School girls take instead of shop. In married life, however, life the hierarchy of "shop" and "economy"" becomes reversed.
Armadillo
Armadillo: Possum on the half shell
Vegan:
Vegan: People who've forgotten that you are what you eat.
Platitude
Platitude: Trying to act as cool and aloof as a duck-billed mammal that lays eggs. "Young lady, I've had enough of your platitude for one evening!"
SUV
SUV: A reincarnation of the station wagon.
Junk Bond
Junk Bond: James Bond's nickname for his private parts.
Centaur:
Centaur: A popular rap artist of the early 21st Century, also known by his stage name "50 Centaur". Also, to be half man... and hung like a horse. Iain Sparrow is such a creature.
http://www.dweebist.com/2010/10/50-centaur/
Heaven:
HeaVIN: …the Vehicle Identification Number for a hearse
Offspring:
Offspring: Common mattress defect.
Nefarious
Nefarious: Not good enough by some standards.
On the outside they’re witty, insightful.
On the inside, atrociously frightful.
We thought they were good
And they thought that we would
Think “nefarious” meant they’re delightful. --Alice, I. F.
Soup
Soup: Wet food best ingested on dry land (difficult in flight, impossible under water).
Sasquatch:
Oh wait, I've got an answer:
Sasquatch: A legendary creature that stalks the American wilderness wearing a gorilla suit. Heh heh.
Rainbow
I knew it was real!Quote:
Originally Posted by Pompey Bum
-------------------------------
Rainbow: A beautiful weather pattern coming after rain, when the sun is right, below which, legend has it, there is a pot of gold. Some say a rainbow is awareness positioned between water and light. Some say the legend of the pot of gold is an illusion, but others counter that it is as real as the rainbow in the awareness below it.
Moon:
Moon: A celestial object that has, since our earliest recollection, been associated with causing madness and homicide, aptly demonstrating the human capacity for deferring responsibility.
Glory:
Glory: Inflicting and incurring physical harm with sufficient recklessness to distinguish oneself from the merely psychotic.
Hedgehog
Hedgehog: Spiny, four-legged critters who remind you of porcupines or armadillo wannabes who realized long ago that they can’t trust anyone but themselves to watch their backs.
Artsy-Fartsy:
Ed: Artsy-Fartsy
Johnny: Artsy-Fartsy
Ed: Artsy-Fartsy
Johnny: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your jockstrap.
Ed: Artsy-Fartsy
Johnny: Who did you have to call when Hotsy-Totsy wouldn't go out with you?
Plutocracy
Plutocracy: A term that became obsolete when Pluto lost its status as a planet, not that Pluto cared one way or the other. It is also used as an alternate definition of “democracy” among those rich enough to know what the word means.
app:
Wrong. It's rule by Mickey Mouse's dog. :)
aap: The guys who invented Popeye
Caesarian
Caesarian: An alternate delivery method, like using FedEx when you don’t trust the postal service to do it right.
Bread:
Heh heh. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
Bread: As the Buddha observed, something that will not benefit you until you are through kneading it.
Mustache
That's a good one. My subconscious tells me to mention that AuntShecky gave it/her/him the idea for FedEx:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pompey Bum
Moustache: What happens when you forget to shave.Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntShecky
Astrology:
An excuse for losing.
Dribble
Dribble: When Dennis Rodman's nose runs.
Fragrant
Fragrant: A word for a smell. It is supposition that the word means "smelling good". Next time you ride the bus or subway with a wino, tell me that he is not "fragrant" of cheep booze
Edible.
Edible: Something to put in your mouth that can be swallowed and digested which, if you think about it, is quite gross, but most of us enjoy doing it anyway.
Producer:
Producer: Prior to the Industrial Revolution, an artisan. Afterwards, a fat guy in Beverley Hills.
Aquarium
Aquarium: A place to put tiny fish and watch them die.
Consumer:
Heh heh. You've been hanging around with me too much. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
Consumer: Prior to the Industrial Revolution, the customer of a yeoman farmer. Afterwards, "Yo man! You got any?"
Software
Unfired porcelain.
Prognosis
Ah! I'm spending my 1000th post with you, Hawk! :)
Prognosis: "Let me put it this way: don't start any long books."
Caterwaul
Caterwaul: A shrill, screeching noise that robots make when they want sex.
French:
The language spoken by cheese-eating surrender-monkeys.
German
French: v. to kiss with the tongue on both cheeks
German: n. a kind of chocolate cake that insists it's too rich for you to eat
Mermaid
Mermaid: If we go by conventional wisdom that they were really manatees, then they are caused by drinking too much rum and having not seen a woman for the last year
Spice:
The plural of spouse (used predominantly in polygamous societies).
Lingerie
Lingerie: A kind of spice.
British