Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

Printable View

03-22-2011, 07:10 PM
Emil Miller

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

About a year later he's back at the doctors with his new wife- the very same stunning blonde.

"Doctor, we are planning to have a baby, can you give us some advice."

" At your age" says the Doctor, "Your best bet is to take in a lodger"

Eight months later the doctor sees him in the High Street with his very pregnant wife.

The doctor congratulated them, and asked "Did you get a lodger in then?"

"Ah did doctor." the man winked, "and she's pregnant too."

Bernard Manning would be so proud.

:lol: I wish I knew the secret of his success.
03-22-2011, 07:25 PM
Paulclem

A woman's comedy sketch show... they do say women are perceptive...

it was a good series.
03-22-2011, 07:26 PM
MarkBastable

Edited ...replied to comment that disappeared.
03-22-2011, 07:27 PM
Paulclem

Ah - that explains it then.

Too much insight is a bad thing..
03-22-2011, 07:29 PM
MarkBastable

Wait, wait.

Can one of us just type something and stick to it?
03-22-2011, 07:59 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkBastable

Wait, wait.

Can one of us just type something and stick to it?

My fault. :lol:

The moon's in Tagetes or something, and I'm dithering.
03-23-2011, 04:49 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkBastable

I'm not sure that this should be on the Bloke's Thread, because it's from a women's comedy sketchshow...

Very good! I'd never heard of them, but Im watching more now.
03-23-2011, 04:59 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emil Miller

Just been looking at some PC jokes, don't you just love 'em, and here's one which the PC brigade might find ageist. ( is there really such a word?)

An 80 year-old man goes to his doctor for his annual check-up. A week later, the doctor sees him walking down the High Street with a stunning blonde on his arm. She can't be a day over 25. The old boy sees the doctor and walks over. "Hello, doc," he says. "I did what you told me: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' " "But that's not what I said," replies the doctor. "I told you: 'You've got a heart murmur, be careful.'"

Brilliant :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Nice!

And in the sad news department, we're sending the sun up your way for the next six months.

Jocky will no doubt appreciate the change!

<<<< hates southern autumnal equinox

So you must tell us of your weather, ours is cool and mild at night with just a tinge of heat in the daytime.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

About a year later he's back at the doctors with his new wife- the very same stunning blonde.

"Doctor, we are planning to have a baby, can you give us some advice."

" At your age" says the Doctor, "Your best bet is to take in a lodger"

Eight months later the doctor sees him in the High Street with his very pregnant wife.

The doctor congratulated them, and asked "Did you get a lodger in then?"

"Ah did doctor." the man winked, "and she's pregnant too."

Bernard Manning would be so proud.

VEry good, did you make that up?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkBastable

I'm not sure that this should be on the Bloke's Thread, because it's from a women's comedy sketchshow...

However....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PfhFM7aRQw

Brilliant, Mark

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Very good! I'd never heard of them, but Im watching more now.

Which brings me to a question. One of my young friends told me that women are always trying to trick men into impregnating them; the boys mother agreed. I told him I think that would be ridiculous now, since men don't feel the obligation to marry a woman anymore or even support the child. What is the blokes opinion?
03-23-2011, 05:01 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Ah - that explains it then.

Too much insight is a bad thing..

I wish someone would enlighten me; this sounds like a heck of a topic...What could possibly be in the blokes thread that was removed?
03-23-2011, 05:32 PM
Emil Miller

I was going to post this in the Tell Me a Joke thread but discretion is the better part of valour.

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
03-23-2011, 06:26 PM
MarkBastable

I'm glad people liked that sketch, because I've had a crap week, and I posted the clip in the nakedly desperate hope that it'd get a good reaction so that I could cheer myself up by saying, "I wrote it..."
03-23-2011, 06:58 PM
Paulclem

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I wish someone would enlighten me; this sounds like a heck of a topic...What could possibly be in the blokes thread that was removed?

It was me dithering Sounds. i watched Mark's clip and posted and edited and changed my mind. I wish it had been something scandalous now. Reality is such a let down at times.
03-24-2011, 02:19 AM
prendrelemick

:

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Brilliant :lol:

VEry good, did you make that up?

Which brings me to a question. One of my young friends told me that women are always trying to trick men into impregnating them; the boys mother agreed. I told him I think that would be ridiculous now, since men don't feel the obligation to marry a woman anymore or even support the child. What is the blokes opinion?

Not me, its a very old joke.

It happens, I'm sure, but I'd say rarely rather than "always".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emil Miller

I was going to post this in the Tell Me a Joke thread but discretion is the better part of valour.

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."

:lol::lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkBastable

I'm glad people liked that sketch, because I've had a crap week, and I posted the clip in the nakedly desperate hope that it'd get a good reaction so that I could cheer myself up by saying, "I wrote it..."

You have created Everyman. :thumbsup:

Atheist: Just to let you know, the sun has arrived safe and well.:coolgleamA:
03-24-2011, 04:17 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

So you must tell us of your weather, ours is cool and mild at night with just a tinge of heat in the daytime.

Longest, hottest summer in history. Still 25 degrees here in the daytime, which is 3 or 4 above the usual for late March.

We might not bother with winter this year.

(Wait till the weather gods see that!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Which brings me to a question. One of my young friends told me that women are always trying to trick men into impregnating them; the boys mother agreed. I told him I think that would be ridiculous now, since men don't feel the obligation to marry a woman anymore or even support the child. What is the blokes opinion?

I agree with you - nobody sees pregnancy as a reason for marriage any more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emil Miller

He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."

:smililol5:

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkBastable

I'm glad people liked that sketch, because I've had a crap week, and I posted the clip in the nakedly desperate hope that it'd get a good reaction so that I could cheer myself up by saying, "I wrote it..."

Worked! Very funny.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Atheist: Just to let you know, the sun has arrived safe and well.:coolgleamA:

Goodo! Mind the sheep don't get sunburned if your summer is anything like ours.
03-24-2011, 07:47 PM
Paulclem

Should I start a new thread on "things they've got today, that we never had when we were kids", or should I just keep in in the curmudgeon's thread?

It'd be like an anti-Monty Python Yorkshire Blokes thread...if you see what I mean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1by0-nkKOTs&feature=fvst

I mean, I was passing a kids playground today with slides and a climbing frame, and all kinds of stuff - in a school! We were lucky if we got a concrete pipe to play in. (I wasn't). Most of the time we had to make do with a muddy embankment.