Tired and a bit moody...
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Tired and a bit moody...
pretty tired...working a night shift for second night in a row...I'm hoping I'm tired enough to sleep in a chair.
Hurting. One of my internl organs is injured.
Sleepy.
Hope you are doing well and your injury is not very serious, Juniper.Quote:
Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf
I am feeling fed up and crabby.
Thanks Scher. I think it won't be too bad after about four more days.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
My Saturday was wasted, which in itself isn't unusual, but I ended my relationship again with my ex, for the last time, over the holiday, and I am surprised by how much I have to de-invest from what was a wrong relationship for the both of us from when we were supposed to marry in 05.
I never loved him, not even from the beginning, but I had gotten used to him, gotten used to working too hard to try to make him understand how I wanted to be treated, and I don't like, at 47, being so alone as to not even having a Safe Male to drag about, as needed, but I can't take it anymore with this modern Ubu, as I call him.
But what picked me up a little, oddly, was remembering how posters in the Speakeasy would yell at me for feeling sorry, and the thought that if I came here this morning and strung my violin, the same thing would happen, though be it within the forum rules, and I smiled a little to laugh at myself.
What has changed though, is my options are significantly fewer. It is not that I *can't* work at all--just that trying to get back into the job market with what I have to cope with, and narrowing supports from the State, this isn't feasible. And I don't resent LN as I did the other (out of a wrongly felt sense of entitlement, I guess) so I cannot whine that deeply or that hard.
Still, I should have been better established as a writer by now, and though I am rattling at the door, closer than I once was in the other community, I am not *there*, and there may take me another five years, give or take, and I am not sure if I can stave off my old destitution--another thing that changed between 02 and 07 is I came into a little money, which made me a reasonably saner cripple--but the end of that comfort is on the horizon, and I just don't know how I find the continuing strength for renewal.
I am tired of being unhappy, and of my anger from humiliation slowly twisting my insides to a fiend I have to talk myself out of from time to time. I dunno.
One midwestern writer, who published a prize winning story about head lice, put it in simple terms: That people didn't know what to say when I relayed my own narrative like this. By the same token, what do I expect strangers on keyboards to reply?:goof:
***
Anyway, I could use a drink, and the best I can do right now, after the fire alarm shocked me awake, is a cup of coffee.
I reply.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jozanny
Good luck.
That's all I can do.
So bored, so tired of everything and nothing.
Oh dear. I do hope that your flu has gone away. Here's a wonderful song that I always find inspiring. It's from the great French film Jules et Jim.Quote:
Originally Posted by toni
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqwLx0DG7qQ
Well, hey, thanks. I am turning into what I had never hoped, the spinster biddy whose buttocks and chest have that sack of potatoes sag, and a stronger woman wouldn't get maudlin at all in a semi-public environment-- not that I've done as badly here as I did at Speakeasy, with a couple of disability cyber communities thrown in along the way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathcliff
I will either get the better of my worst tendencies or not. I do not want to suicide or anything like that, nor do I want to live online as I used to, though I am here a good deal, I just don't know what to go on to. I don't want the man back, and if I could leave public housing I'd throw a LitNet party that would make the cops reconsider staking me out:D, but I'll never have the income to give myself that kind of freedom. I can do something slightly excessive like go to the literature conference this spring, but I need to be sure I really want to go, as the logistics will be a hassle--I don't like flying because airports are known to destroy power chairs, so it will be via Amtrak, but I need to make even small, incremental changes, and it will not be easy and I am not sure what they should be, as I do not like disability paradigms.
And I made most of my freelance earnings saying so or illuminating on those, as they were the source of my former career. So it goes, in a little soft shoe on Vonnegut...
Well... At least you're in good spirits?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jozanny
I think that you should help out at a local school in your spare time. Or do something random like that. You never know what will happen.
Wonderful!
It's so beautifully cold outside. :D
Naughty.
Mum let me online later than usual.
Naughty.
Awful. Nihilsitic. Nothingness.
Not so bad.
pooped.
"Pooped" as in "I am having the best day ever."?Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
I am feeling chirpy... And relieved. Like 15000 words were lifted off my shoulders.
No pooped as in plum tuckered.:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
:banana:Quote:
I am feeling chirpy... And relieved. Like 15000 words were lifted off my shoulders.
No idea what that means! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
:banana: :banana: :banana:Quote:
Originally Posted by Papayahed
I feel at times enervated and apathetic at times and this keeps me hibernated for a while and but after this period of hibernation I recuperate the energies I lost. I take everything positively and the bad moods that gnaw me at times I take as something that again gives me vitality.
Huggles!!Quote:
Originally Posted by DanielBenoit
I woke up early.
better. . . . . ...
first day of classes. i feel busy.
Worn out and clearheaded all at the same time... it's an odd way to feel.
:lol: Worn out or exhausted:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
Worried sick
Dizzaay, bored and chipper. I need an adventure, but it's hard to find when you wake up at 7 pm in the middle of Jan.
Oh, and my organs are healed! Yay!
A big blob. I woke up and went back to sleep six times between 10am and 1pm. I had some nice dreams that all sort of made a story, however now I feel as though I've just wasted my entire day. Oh well, there will be another one tomorrow.
Woke up late. But I feel good :)
Battered and bruised... Somewhat "plum tuckered"!
:rolleyes:
Sleeping in is good, but don't get too use to it. You'll end up hating it like I do.Quote:
Originally Posted by DanielBenoit
By the time I wake up and get on litnet, everyone else is sleeping.
Stressed and sleepy, maybe I should just go back to bed again
working. not so bad.
Heartsick, which is cool. I haven't felt that in a while.
Better than yesterday:)
Stomach ache :bawling: :bawling: :bawling:
^ drink hot water and don't move.
I feel insomniac. I absolutely have to be in bed right now but it will take an hour before I get to sleep.
Thank you my dear nurse :)Quote:
Originally Posted by toni
Count sheep? Chew gum? Okay seriously: It's best if you have a balanced sleep-wake cycle, if you wake up late, you're bound to go to bed late.Quote:
I feel insomniac. I absolutely have to be in bed right now but it will take an hour before I get to sleep.
Sweet dreams :as-sleep:
I'm a' feelin' like readin'. . . .