Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

A Japanese mispronunciation.

fly

fly an annoying insect that is addicted to fruit salad, and loves to barf on your arm for no good reason

Laws

Laws: The imperfect basis of the legal system. Like flaws - but there's no f in laws worth worrying about.


Barcelona

A place that people who nothing seem to come from, particularly in Devon hotels. (Remember Farty Owls?)


Conspiracy theories

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dafydd manton

A place that people who nothing seem to come from, particularly in Devon hotels. (Remember Farty Owls?)


Conspiracy theories

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Is the word 'know' missing from that sentence?

Incidentally, if he came from Barcelona, he wouldn't have pronoounced it Barthelona, would he? Cos I don't think they do that in Catalan - only in Castilian. I stand to be corrected on this.

I come from Barthelona, I know Noooothing. And you are right, brain had idea, fingers rejected it. It's an age thing.

Conspiracy theories Ideas that the government is involved in vast cover ups of alien presences and assassination of their own leaders which may or may not have a basis in truth

Alien Abduction

A system whereby little green men with antennae come to earth and seek out those in whom there is a brain malfunction, in order to carry out horrific experiments, such as trying to get them to get a life.

air conditioning

air conditioning Home cooling device usually set at temperatures considered uncomfortably cold in the winter when we hike up the thermostat to temperatures considered too hot in the summer

Yard Sale

The piece of material attached to the spinnaker in the bows of a schooner, it being exactly 36 inches in length. Whatever that is in centimetres.

metre

metre: A practically universal measure that does away with feet. Except when its poetry, when it consists of feet.


giraffe

A revolving jet of water, used for washing such things as the camelopard.

diplomat

Diplomat - a recycling establishment set up to provide the service of washing retiring foreign dignitaries; cleaning the dirt of fulsomeness and removing the stains of smarm, thus returning them as respectable, presentable members of society.

Oenophile -

Oenophile - whassat mean? Damn good ques-hic-question. Then again, who frickin' cares? Bastard. Is that my coat?

placebo

placebo The medical miracle that works better than the actual medication, making one wonder if they produce medication simply for making money...

Respect