wow thank you very much Pendragon I am very flattered!! glad you liked the piece!:p
Thank you cafolini!
Ok here is the next line:
''the lady's not for turning''
good luck !!
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wow thank you very much Pendragon I am very flattered!! glad you liked the piece!:p
Thank you cafolini!
Ok here is the next line:
''the lady's not for turning''
good luck !!
That lady's not for burning
Though witch she just might be.
She's queen of all this fairy land.
Her king leads armies that will stand
With her most faithfully.
How to Properly Prepare a Lady
A lady's not for turning,
I prefer to have her grilling,
just a dash of salt and pepper
if she is ripe, a lady but needs
little extra dressing,
medium rare to keep her tender,
for when she is fair,
there should always remain
a little pink in the coloring,
now let her set for maximum flavoring,
how nicely she will go
with a fine Bordeaux.
This play does not bear learning!
I'd sooner end my life!
It's only fit for burning!
Who wrote this, sir? ...Your wife?
O'Grady's not for learning
He finds reading a great waste of time
He could not care less about arithmetic
Add, Subtract, Multiply, Devide
O'Grady's hot for yearning
About pints down at the pub
He know just how many they will serve
Before they kick him to the curb
O'Grady's not discerning
But he can read the price of beer
Michelob, Budweiser, Coors, or Miller
Which for the least cost brings him cheer?
O'Grady's plot they are turning
Into a grave six foot by three
If he should live beyond the grave
Do you think he'll read the inscription carved by me?
Pendragon
(C) 5/3/2012
HAhahaha!
So many are so fantastic.
Of course, I agree!
(Great work by all!)
after much deliberating it is now time to announce the winner.
I have to say however that all of them were very fun to read and all deserving winners but since I can only pick one then the winner goes to
Calidore for its short but very witty and most hilarious read it really made laugh a lot haha!!
thank you all
and
congratulations Calidore!!:p
Talk about serendipity: I read this line right as I heard Orson Welles speaking since Citizen Kane is playing on the TV in the other room. Spooky!Quote:
Originally Posted by Calidore
Cool, thanks, cacian. When it comes to posting poetry on this site, I tend to feel like Jud Fry among all the clean-cut, handsome cowboys, so I'm happy whenever something I write works for someone.Quote:
Originally Posted by cacian
So, next line: "It's a Long Way to Tipperary." Homework due by June 1.
Hehe, I agree, Calidore fit the bill nicely - grats.
I'm doing one more just for fun :p
After the final spin, I'm still grazing on the couch
'I'll hang them out later' I murmur, with my lazy mouth
a cow on the couch grazing lazily, that's just me; let me be
Naturally is free, what's wrong with cleansing bacterially?
Go dry for me, hired cleaner;
I suppose you require a fee, can't you see
that blokes like me aren't Gents, we're much meaner
and self hygiene comes second to literacy
Getting Away from Sherry
It's a long, long way to run from Sherry.
It's a long, long way, I know.
She is sweeter now with my friend Harry.
How I used to love them so.
Through the springtime they both were merry:
Why do lovebirds love a show?
It's a pity my pain's so scary.
Would it leave, too, and let me go.
That is the wrong way to rip a canary
It ruins the flavor and cut of the the meat
They are already small, so ruining one is a waste
To dine on canary you need to be wary
An old couple drank them some sherry
From the waitress that served them named Mary
The man patted her ***
His wife had to sass:
"That's the wrong way to tip her, Harry."
Only three?
Goodness me
Let me now make a plea
For more entries to make a proper potpourri
I'm not mad
I'm just sad
Was my start line so bad?
Should I go to Craigslist and take out a want ad?
"It's a Long Way to Tipperary"
My friend flew in from Texas and got
a little tipsy
Our conversation didn't faze him much
until I mentioned my dear
cow Betsie
We called it a night but later he crept out
heading for dear old Betsie
And in the moonlight in the pasture
where Betsie was fast asleep
Harry sniggered and stole up near her side
He gave Betsie quite a shove in her side
and she toppled and rolled moaning
down the hill a pace, stopped, and shook
her head a bit to clear her senses...
and that r-e-a-l-l-y fired up Harry
He laughed and snorted guffawing
his chortling and Betsy's moaning
an echoing din I awoke to - I then
ran to see what-in-the-world
was all the commotion
I said "it's a long way to tip 'er 'arry"
not much of an admonition I reckon
When dear ol' Betsie out of nowhere
busted him in the family jewels
So now I call him Mary
5/31/2012 r.6/1/2012
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Sorry I'm a bit late with this. As usual, it's a difficult choice, this time between YesNo's immersive melancholy, Pendragon's off-center approach, tailor's funny cow-tipping story, and newcomer-to-the-contest (welcome!) Morpheus' funny waitress-tipping story. Being especially partial to a quality limerick, I'm going to pick Morpheus this time out.
Well done, everyone. Your go, Morpheus.
Thanks so much, Calidore! I think this is the first time I've ever won anything. OK, next line (from Dylan's Subterranean Homesick Blues):
"You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows."
I wish I knew a weather man
Who knew which way my wild winds blow
Then whether north or south they go
I'd have some time to duck today
Before they roughed me up, but, hey,
It's fun to feel them when I can.
Deadline, Morpheus?
"You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows."
They almost never get the weather right, anyway.
Once I walked to the bus stop in six inches of "partly cloudy."
I got sunburn one Christmas Day while riding a skateboard through "snow flurries"
We almost drowned on a "beautiful, sunny skies" in torrential rains.
Perhaps the old "Indian Weather Rock" is better:
Tie a rock onto a tripod of sticks with a strong cord.
Put the tripod outdoors, highly visible from a window.
If the rock moves back and forth, it's windy outside.
If the rock is wet, it is raining.
If the rock has turned white, it is, or has been, snowing.
If the rock grows icicles, it is freezing out.
If the rock reflects light, it's sunny.
Bye, bye weather man! Hello, Indian Weather Rock!
Pendrgon
Hurricane Blues
You don't need a weather man
to tell which way the wind is blowing,
for this hurricane would be hard to miss
(hey was that a cow just flew past the window?)
I predict cloudy skies with a chance of
.....oh......wait......well there goes the roof,
I guess I will be staying in tonight,
even though my living room is filling with rain
and the walls begin to shake,
well at least I still have this radio,
the weather reports......
and there goes the signal.
A judge is long overdue here! Anybody playing the contest? Hello! Hello?
:argue::confused5::confused5::confused5::argue:
Morpheus hasn't posted regularly to the forum in a month, and never answered my earlier request for a deadline. Since I was the previous judge and have no irons in this fire, anyone object to my picking a winner so we can proceed?
Go for it!
Please do!
Okay, good deal. As always, I enjoy YesNo's work for its accessibility and rhythm; and living in Chicago I understand Pendragon's narrator's frustration with weather reports that seem to be for somewhere else (and I especially loved the line "Once I walked to the bus stop in six inches of "partly cloudy," which I would very much like to steal someday). This time around I'm going to give it to Dark Muse's depiction of deteriorating circumstances, which reminded me of a Buster Keaton movie.
Have at it, then.
Oh, thank you very much.
Congrats once more, DarkMuse! :yesnod:
Sometime ago I read "A Haunting on Hill House" in which this phrase was frequnetly used and then recently it popped up again in something I was reading. So I am going with :
Journeys end in lovers meeting
Dark Muse that is an oustanding choice I like the line for some reason and it somehow reminded me of Howard's End.
They loved each other all their lives
They never told each other that
They kept missing opportunities to meet
Forgot words to say even when they met
She loved him from afar, followed every movement
He held her close vicariously with his eyes
They never found the courage to make dreams reality
They were both alone the day they died
They buried him in Round Hill Cemetery
Her family plot was close at hand
When they buried her she lay beside him
Finally together at journey's end
Journeys end in lovers meeting
The hand of fate just won't be denied
Even the grave can't prevent destiny--
Journeys end, they meet in the sweet bye and bye...
Pendragon
(C) 7/28/2012
The hot dogs end with lovers eating.
Mustard, ketchup dripping free.
Why are their lips always meeting?
Stomachs fill eventually.
Did my fellow poets forget this contest? Only two entries...
Oops yes we have let see what one can do.
Journeys end in lovers meeting
and sweet old sweet home finds its own amuse bouche
laughters sound the rings of friendship
and saddness leaves its comments empty
Journeys end in lovers meeting
all is well that must end all wells
Whoops, I did too. Glad it's not too late.
It had been a busy time
For young Bernie's relatives
So his mom bought a stack of cards
Both positives and negatives
Holidays and milestone days
Happenings of every kind
She gave Bernie the "mailroom" job
And gave him scoldings when he whined
"What do you do all day?" she asked
"This won't kill you; get it done."
She gave him all the addresses
And turned away, thinking she'd won
But Bernie shuffled all the cards
In protest of this cruel mistreating
And to each recipient
Bernie sent another's greeting
The funeral got "Get well soon!"
The wedded pair got sympathy
The divorcees got "Goodbye, good luck!"
The spinster aunt got Mother's Day
His mom made Bernie face them all
He had to say, "I'm sorry," and
Each new card sent that whole year
He made entirely by hand
Pendragon: A very dark approach but I enjoyed your interpretation of the line. There was something bittersweet about the ending I thought, and fates way of bringing them finally together. I like the way in which you manage to tell a complete story with your words.
YesNo: This made my laugh out loud. It was fun an quirky and I enjoyed your play on words in how you chose to incorporate the line into the poem.
Callidore: I really enjoyed the originality of your poem and the quirkiness. I loved the swapping of the cards, and got a good laugh out of that part. Sounds like the sort of thing I would be tempted to do. Though I did have trouble seeing any reflection of the original line within this one.
and the winner is.....
cacian: I loved this line "and sweet old sweet home finds its own amuse bouche" and I really enjoyed the play upon Shakespeare in the last line, which is another way of tying the original line into the poem. I enjoyed your cleverness, and the mood created by your words
Glad you enjoyed it. The original line was punned as "Bernie sent another's greeting." I thought that would be going near the beginning or end, but when I wrote the poem, it ended up in the middle. I guess that would be a stealth pun.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Muse
Congratulations on the win, Cacian! Also, I had never heard the phrase "amuse bouche" before, so I learned something. If only I could afford to eat in the kind of restaurants where those are served.
Oh I get it now :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Calidore
Thank you very much Dark Muse for the feedback and I am really glad you enjoyed it!
Calidore I have amuse bouche once it is really isn't that much of a miss haha.:p
In fact you get recipees and make them yourself!
Anyway I must think of something soon will get back sometimes today...
Ok everyone here is one:
''Abandon hope all ye that enter here" -Dantes Inferno-
Good luck!! :thumbs_up
Sing-Sing wasn't known for cleanliness
The stench of the prisoners was something to fear
Still I thought it harsh to see the sign
"Abandon soap all ye that enter here!"
It's bad enough to be locked in a cell
Twenty-three hours out of every day
But my clothes are filthy, body sticky with sweat
Oh, Lord! For a bath and a piece of soap, I pray!
But at least the smell keeps away the rats
The bedbugs, roaches, centipedes and skeeters
A odorous blessing in pungent disguise--
Abandon soap, all ye that enter here!
Pendragon
(C)8/23/2012