It is 6.35 kg actually.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightshade
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It is 6.35 kg actually.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightshade
hey so Im lighter than I thought I was ?!
:banana:
I looked it up here:
http://onlineconversion.com/
100 grams = 0.22 lb = 0.22 lb force = 0.2 lb metric = 0.267 lb troy
I would say something to the sister. These days to be 40 pounds overweight is considered obese. The child runs the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. Diabetes is not necessarily genetic.
I would try to make her understand that what happened to her growing up is now happening to her child and if she wants to prevent that then she needs to start a plan of action now. Let her know that you support her and the child 100% and that you will hep if help is needed.
Either way I would also recommend child get a full physical and blood work done.
:nod:Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightshade
At least kilogram-wise :)
I agree with PNB that 40 lbs is a consirable excess especially for a child. Even though it might be hard to face it, it is a good idea to talk to the sister. Even if she refuses to acknowledge it initially, it might prove to be something to think over later on and start doing something afterwards.
My nephew gained a lot of weight following a family move (even though he did not have any weight problems while younger). However, when he was 15, he decided he did not want to carry on like that and started keeping an eye on what he was eating. He was not dieting as such; just refusing the second helping of the pasta or the extra slice of toast etc. And in a few months' time he lost about 30 lbs. Now he is physically active, more confident and, interestingly enough, doing better at school as well.
It is amazing how quickly and easily the younger ones can adapt.
Keep the good job, shce!
Any way, have a question to ask; can I just submit my story without forwarding it to you? I kinda feel the story is not so confidential to require anonymity. xnks!
Of course, Muhsin! Anyone can start their own threads on the issues they would like to discuss. This thread is only for those who would like to remain anonymous.
I have been informed that:Quote:
the child is eight and lives on mcdonalds and has more toys than Wal-Mart, but usually just watches TV or plays video games.
Well, depending on how close you are to your sister, something should be said for the good of the child (after all, she is very young). I say this because one of my sisters is approachable, and the other -- well, it would be like poking a hornet nest... :alien:
But, assuming that you can speak openly with your sister, gently voice your concerns, underlining your love and concern for the child. I am sure that your sister would know that you only want what is best for the child. But I would tread lightly, as the weight issue could be a very delicate matter.
I feel that when Love motivates us to do something, things just have a way of going smoothly in the long run.
When I was that age my mom was pretty busy and I pretty much had to fend for myself, I lived on Spaghettio's and mini raviolis becuase it was easy and it tasted good. I didn't know how to cook or had guidance on what I should have been making. I don't know if that's the same issue but maybe you could get the child enrolled in cooking classes designed for kids or maybe have theme nights where you cook a meal from scratch. Show the child there is more out there then just McDonalds.
No, no, no, no, no! A kid should NOT be living on macdonalds! That alone to me is child abuse. I understand that maybe the sister is very busy, and might not have as much time to cook for the child, but for someone who doesnt want their child to be taunted in school for being over weight, she is definitely going about it the wrong way. Too much fatty meats (like too much burgers) is so bad for anyone, causing anything from a fatty liver to blocked arterys.
I have seen so many obese children it maks me cry. the latest kid was walking past the entrance to departures with his parents. He couldnt even walk or bend his arms properly and was panting as he wobbled alone, he was so fat. It was disgusting. the poor child wasnt even ten i recon.
Its not your stepfather's or your mother's fault. You're the change that you want to be. If you want to change a situation and have exhausted absolutely ALL of your options then leave it.Quote:
My stepfather hates my guts and is always screaming at me about how I should be always doing housework and how much I fail to be human (or how ugly and useless I am, you know). When he's out of work (I mean on his free day) he drinks and doesn't allow me to go on the internet or watch television. He also takes out all his rage on me when he has a bad day or something like that. I can't talk back to him or he goes insane. He screams at my mother too, he's very controlling. My mother is a very clingy person and won't let me move in with my father (or date or have any life that's not about her), she says my problems are her problems and she'll do something about it because she can't live like that. The problem is she doesn't do anything! What should I do?
It seems pretty extreme but your stepfather should have no reason to treat you like that. Nobody should treat anyone like that. Child protective services? Consoling? Tell someone you could actually trust? I dunno. But if you're not doing anything to solve your problems then your problems will only get worse.
I thought the obesity epidemic was only here in the United States. Do you have a lot of obesity in Ireland also?Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh
Anyway, about the mcdonald's...maybe they could switch to Subway?
Its a general problem. Mainly in the uk though but we do have it. but alot of the obese and extremely obese people i see in the airport are not from Ireland. Sadly enough most of them are actually American. And boy, have i seen some disgustingly obese people. With some i have often wondered if they had to pay for extra seats when flying because there is no WAY in hell they could fit into one seat.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shalot
Subway is just as bad.
Something similar was happening to my niece. Our great aunt was picking her up after school and taking her to McDonalds after school everyday, and she was getting round. Her mom stepped in though and put a stop to the McDonalds trips everyday. I think Subway is just a little better. A turkey sandwich has to beat chicken nuggets and french fries.Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh
It's crazy here - you have to make an effort to not be fat here.
Thats nuts. Its starting to go that way here too. People just claim to not have the time to cook for would eat lots of take aways or fast food or ready meals. They are so bad for you. All i can say is that i'm glad i got diagnosed with IBS becasue since then i've more or less cut ALL of these things out of my diet...(well except the odd chinese!) and have lost over a stone.
There are things, all of have funny things, bizarre ones we ordinarily refrain from sharing and until you come upon or in a very informal group with whom you can associate with. Indeed the idea of being anonymous and sharing something unsharable or doing something undoable is something mindbogglingly. That is how we unroll ourselves. But we roll up ourselves internally.
How much is a stone? I've been working to lose some extra pounds and I’ve been reaching all of my goals so far. I’m worried about the school year starting. College has been a fattening experience for me.
We’ve been eating some take out lately. Normally we never ever eat fast food, but I’ve had to go to town every day for the past two weeks. It’s killing me! It makes me feel gross and my kids look at me like I’m a slacker that doesn’t have their best interest in mind. Some days I’m thinking more about hot cooking.
There are 14 pounds in one stone.
Blaze> Say what? ;)
I worked in a theme park in the US for a while and we often had to deny access to some rides to kids (and adults) who just didn't fit in the seat. It was really sad! The most popular rides would even have a couple of wider seats (aka "fat seats") so that bigger people would be able to ride.Quote:
With some i have often wondered if they had to pay for extra seats when flying because there is no WAY in hell they could fit into one seat.
That's a good idea! There are plenty of cooking classes and they teach you how to come up with healthy, easy-to-make meals. And it's also a good way for your sister to spend time with her daughter.Quote:
Papayahed
I don't know if that's the same issue but maybe you could get the child enrolled in cooking classes designed for kids or maybe have theme nights where you cook a meal from scratch. Show the child there is more out there then just McDonalds.
Eating out can be an occasionaloption if you really don't have time, but nothing forbids you to choose the (most) healthy option.
And no this doesn't mean drinking diet Coke with your quarter pounder with cheese and fries ;)
Here's an interesting link:
http://www.helpguide.org/life/fast_food_nutrition.htm
Has anyone seen the movie "Supersize me"? Makes you think twice before eating lots of junk food for a while! :sick:
This week's PM:Quote:
I have a cousin that has always been flakey. He always comes to me when he is having problems (I once had a $300 phone bill because of him). If he needs something I’ve always been there however the same cannot be said in reverse. I’m beginning to feel used. Now, I can’t just stop talking to him, I see him at family functions and want to remain friendly but how do I stop being too close and getting involved in his problems?
don't answer the phone when he rings you? you can still be friendly when you see him, but you'll just happen not to be at home whenever he phones.
I think that's a good plan, but if you never answer when he calls, it might be just a little bit too obvious that you're trying to avoid him.Quote:
Originally Posted by SleepyWitch
what if little by little you stop being there for him, then maybe he will get the hint. If not then tell him the truth rather than running away from the problem
Next time he asks for money tell you don't have it.
Learning to say no can take practice, but it’s so liberating. Family is fantastic, but sometimes we have to distance ourselves for our own good. Sometimes family will become belligerent when that distancing starts. Don’t feel guilty for saying no or for taking care of yourself. If you say I can’t afford to offer this or that then you establish boundaries that you can’t be blamed for and you model responsibility. It might help to have a back up obligation that you can use to create a little distance. If all else fails then you could start complaining about all of the problems you are experiencing especially those that your cousin had no interest in. If you complain and request help enough the cousin may make the distance for you.
You don't want to be an enabler. You'll start to resent him when he won't appreciate what you do for him, and he'll start to believe that your purpose in life is to "help him. Then again, sometimes, someone just needs a boost, and then a lesson about how a boost won't always be available. Good luck.
Hmmm, this one is a tough call as we are dealing with family here. However, I think that Shalot made some good points. I think that I'd shy away from loaning any further money, if that has been a problem. And lastly, if he isn't willing to be there for you when you need him, perhaps gently mention that support is a two-way street ...
Good luck from me too. :)
Become so violent and scary for a while that he'll be thankful enough that you stop being it and the fact that you refuse to help him with his problems will be only a minor issue.
Going berserk occasionally is always a good choice, for example. Just remember to bite your shield and attack everything in sight with your sword/axe/other weapon of choice.
OMG, I am seriously laughing my *** off! :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Taliesin
I know that this doesn't really help the poor person involved with the problem, but a shot of humour is always good for the soul... :)
I have actually seen such strategies work too. :p For example there was this person's story I read somewhere whose mother was pretty much against the idea of her sister having a boyfriend and a lot of screaming/banging/hitting was expected from her side when the sister was to reveal about her boyfriend.To prevent all this, along with the cooperation of her sister, she started to feed her mother's ears that the sister was a lezbian. Now the mother for whom the idea of a lezbian for a daughter could have been a disaster became very worried especially when she showed her a picture of a sister's friend hugging her (that friend often phoned her sister for hours and hours too :p).Quote:
Originally Posted by kiz_paws
Now the mother decided to have a talk with her other daughter (whom she was perceiving to be a lezbian) face-to-face and when she told her there was no such thing and her sister (the girl who narrated the story) was making it all up for the name of fun the mother took the breath of happiness and felt very revealed and didn't mind much when her straight daughter told her about the boyfriend of hers....
See it works but yeah can be risky if the person involved happens to be more intelligent than the mother we are talking about here! :D
It depends on the character of the friend. If I thought that they would use or abuse, I would not like it. I've never had a sister though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
You would feel differently if you had, perhaps.Quote:
Originally Posted by BienvenuJDC
*bump*
Please keep in mind that there are real people behind these posts, with real problems. If you don't have any constructive to add to the discussion, try not to post. Thank you all.
Here is a letter from a female member:
I've a crush on this girl. She's smart, gorgeous and well-read. We talk sometimes online and in facebook but I'm too shy to speak to her in real life.
What should I do? I really like her but I'm afraid of rejection, she's so beautiful and intelligent too, more so than me and I don't think she'd like someone like me, a short, dark-skinned Germany-loving kid.
I don't even know if she feels a flicker of attractiong for me. Help!
Well if they're already someone you talk to online, you have an in. I don't see any reason why they would reject any friendly conversation if they'll talk to you online. Start small, talking to someone can be difficult at first but it gets easier with time.
Since, this question came from a female member, I hope you're fairly confident of the orientation of this girl, otherwise that can get a little awkward.
I think Pip makes a good point that it is important to find out her orientation and also let her know your orientation as well so that there are no misunderstandings that might hurt/upset either parties later on.
What you fear the most, that is, go ask her.Quote:
What should I do?
Me too, that's why I'm alone everyday. The fear of rejection must be fought instead of fed. Unfortunately, to our grief, most lonely beings do the latter.Quote:
I'm afraid of rejection
There's not a single definition for beauty. Therefore, there are many definitions for beauty and you surely comply with one or more of them.Quote:
she's so beautiful and intelligent too, more so than me
You won't know unless you find out.Quote:
and I don't think she'd like someone like me, a short, dark-skinned Germany-loving kid.
As I suggested before, you'll never know unless you ask her. I think we should do what we fear the most, that is, we should find out how others feel towards us. For example you could start finding out her orientation, as Pip and Scher suggested, and then you would have something to begin with. If her orientation is the same as yours, you can find a way to move on, like trying to spend more time near her and establish a relationship. Remember that one step takes you closer to the next one.Quote:
I don't even know if she feels a flicker of attractiong for me. Help![/i]
You could also think about whether you'd like to be "just" friends with her if her orientation isn't the same as yours. If you do think you could be friends, that might help you cope with the possibility of rejection. I.e. if she rejects you orientation-wise ;) you could still be friends and maybe you'll be best friends someday, which would be something to work towards, wouldn't it?
I thought this was supposed to be updated tuesdays.....