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OK Jocky, I just knocked down another Spaten, so here goes:
With “Chaunticleer and Pertilot”
I already get a lot
With “Pertilot and Chaunticleer”
I see a world cup full of beer!
Rosencrantz and Guildenstein
Share a guilded stein full of wine
Guildenstein and Rosencrantz
Imbibed with wine lost their stance
What d'ya think?
There is an old Scottish saying, those who ask don't get, and those who don't ask dont want.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Ok Jocky, I understand.
I suppose I was being a bit greedy, asking for too much too soon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRTkCHE1sS4
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Nobody ever paid me to think, just do. Obviously I will never make a teacher. On reflection your doggerel is much better than mine. Well thought out, planned and perfectly executed. Did you ever hear about the mathemetician who announced that there were three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who cant? :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
:lol:
There are reliable witnesses North of the border who well know you are lying. We have the goods on you Mick, did you notice her Scottish accent ' Nah Nah, leave me alone rough farmer, well at least till you wash the sheep dip off your hands'
:)
How on earth someone with all the attractions of Prince Andrew - good loks, war hero, rich, mum's the queen, etc - managed to end up with her, I'll never know.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
She's a slapper.
And has been proving it again, turning a PR disaster into a full-blown publicity stunt. She was even on Oprah!
I won't go into the sanity (or veracity of the story) of the alleged Saudi Prince who wanted to pay three million punds to sleep with her.
Personally, she couldn't pay me three million to do it.
That is bloody fantastic.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
If only Shakespeare had stuck to limericks, the world would be a better place.
He could ha'e done Macbeth in five lines:
By murder and deceit, Thane of Cawdor, Glamis, then king,
McBeth & his beautiful wife killed then began to sing,
Their own praises from Dunedin to Islay,
Ultimately remorseful, Lady M took the Socratic Way
From Birnham Wood, it ended; Mac's head, cut off like a chicken's wing.
I just noticed, who is the little Afro-American dude painted on her hand; I'm sure there are other places he would rather be painted:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesterhead
That's it, I'm burning all of my books and just reading the works of Jocky from now on...Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Here, Here!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
So true, I'm getting into the habit of asking now, whether I want or need!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I think you needed quotations around that first sentence; I'm pretty sure I heard it in one of our recent political speeches on the matter of health care:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Do you think we made a mistake when we imported all of the mathematicians over here too;)
It all worked out; her voice greatly improved after the sheep dipQuote:
Originally Posted by jocky
You don't mean it, that's Fergie...it must have been the weight watchers...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
The royal family really ought to go back to Victorias habits and bring in a bit of new blood; the inbreeding is killing them....
You know, though, I'll bet she is a true redhead...
we shall :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
I did, I once brought home a girl who had about 20 piercings in her face, and she didn't mind, maybe because those piercings really did suit her.
yea some tatoos look very good, but tatoos on pretty girls can also be very little flattering if done poorly.
yes, fathers will always help you fix the car if you ask them, it's their thing.
I will seduce her with the "good old" crazy fan style, and I have seen Anne's breasts for starters and she is not shy of talking about those things.
There are sheep dips that can do that. Particularly the single malt ones.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...k/images-2.jpg
It obviously wasn't you who went nuts and shot everyone then.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
What the hell is with that? Get really mad and kill as many people as possible?
Is UK the new USA?
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
There was a young man called Macbeth
Who once stabbed a King unto death
And all I can say
By the end of the Play
Hith height wath a whole head leth.
I'll get me coat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
It happens everywhere now, this is the third time I can remember. Hungerford, Dunblaine and now Whitehaven. The media will hunt around for a reason, the Politicians will leap on band wagons, nothing changes.
That's magnificent!Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Mine was a bit Shakespeareish itself - a bit "try-hard".
Yours is a model of simplicity and brilliance.
Yes, we've even had several here over the past 30 years.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Each time has turned out to be a scizophrenic not taking his meds.
Conspiracists love it, seeing Evil Gummint conspiracies to get rid of guns so they can intimidate us all.
Psychologists love it because it enables them to sound superior, as though they actually had a clue.
Politicians love it because it deflects from real issues which affect everyone not related to the dead/injured.
Tree hugging sandal-wearers love it, because they can trumpet the evil of guns.
Media love it because it increases sales/viewing.
:lol::lol::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I nearly lost my peripherals there, I swear bye all that is sacred I will never mention the word limerick again.
The burning question is why did he feel the need to take everyone with him ? Terrible.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Quite right.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
The media are like scavengers with stories like this.
I think it happens more often in that you often get these nutters killing their family instead of strangers. There was one bloke last year shot his wife and teenage daughter, the horses, the dogs and then burned his house down and shot himself. Terrible. It was because of his debts and he didn't want to face it. I'm sure his family would rather have faced the problems, but they didn't get a say.
I'm afraid it's a bloke thing. There are too many of these selfish, aggressive nut jobs about.
There are two possible answers:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
1 He's a typical product of the "me" generation we live in, where if I'm hurting badly enough to kill myself, I'll take as many of YOU as possible on the way.
2 We don't have enough wars nowadays.
Jocky> Run for cover! I am posting in your thread!They should join the Forum to get things off their chests!Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Oh, I can give you a long list of people who would fit into that description... Some even on the Forum! :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem