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Weekly recap of life in the city of Atlanta:
Tuesday, January 28:
By 2pm - 2 inches of snow had fallen upon the city of Atlanta
By 3pm - everybody in the city of Atlanta had crashed their car
Friday, January 31:
The sun is up and the roads are dry, and yet the average driving speed in the ATL is 25mph - just to be on the safe side
That was hilarious, Sancho, speaking as someone who lives in a place where we mock ourselves for the same terrible driving if there is the least impediment, weatherwise. I did feel badly for those trapped in their cars overnight due to the inclement weather.
We have currently been feeling a trifle ill-used because the temp has been in the 20's. Ah well, that's what happens when you screw around with mother nature.
My theory is, Mother Nature has it in for the automobile.
Last year I had a windfall, so I bought my wife a new Subaru. She hadn't had it a month when we were sitting in a restaurant, eating tacos and nachos, drinking cervezas mas fria, and watching the sky out front get purpler and purpler. Mother Nature had seen the shiny new red Subaru sitting there in the parking lot, so she directed a surgical band of golf ball-sized hail upon it, giving it a dimpled golf ball-like look.
However the Sube' drives splendidly in the snow.
All around the world. Coldest January in USA since 1342, wettest January in England ever, hottest January in Australia since convicts first arrived...Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Bad?Quote:
Originally Posted by qimissung
I'll tell ya how bad it was - the State Troopers were giving out MREs to the people stuck in their cars. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meal,_R...Eat#Criticisms
Ouch. And if it's not weather, it's our feathered friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSnUDakNaek
Haha
Aerial Poopers have it in for the occasional jogger too. A few years ago I was running along, daydreaming, when I noticed a bunch of purple splotches on the path in front of me. This particular running path has a thick canopy of tree limbs overhanging the trail and the tree limbs are intertwined with wild grape vines. Here's how my mind processed the info: Hey! Scuppernongs are getting ripe. Hey! But those things shouldn't be dropping on their own yet. Hey! Those grapes must've been run through a bird first. Hey! Probably one of those birds up there in that tree right now.
And then...ZOT...one of the little bastards got me with a bio-bomb right on the bill of my running cap. It wouldn't have been so bad if there hadn't been two women in tennis outfits walking towards me. They saw the whole thing. Neither of them made much of an effort to hide their amusement.
In case you're wondering, a purple bird-poop stain ain't easy to get out of a white baseball cap.
The one which makes me laugh is the idea that being pooped on is lucky!?!?
I'll give you lucky.
When I was about 14 years old, I was at the races with my father. I'd got the first leg of a double and was watching the second leg, with my horse in front with 33 yards to go.
Right at that moment, a seagull overhead dropped one on me.
The horse stopped as if it had been shot and finished last.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
We're still in the midst of a long term drought. It would be nice if you could send some your rain our way.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
There is rain in the forecast into next week.
Nothing worse than trying to peer through the wiper smears on the windshield.Quote:
Originally Posted by Calidore
Glass half-full: I'd rather have to clean it from a cap than my eyes or mouth.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancho
I was bombed by crows from palm trees on a beach in Goa once. I could have sworn they were guffawing at me as well.
^I'll bet they were.
A sea bird in Honolulu made a direct hit on my T-shirt once. It took me a while to figure it out. I went into the loo at Starbucks and as I was washing my hands, I looked in the mirror and saw the big, fish-scalely, white blob on my shoulder. Then I remembered all those people looking at me kinda funny earlier.
Q - Do you know what the white stuff in bird poop is?
A - Well, that's bird poop too.
Half term beckons and the 6 Nations is off to a good start. I managed to catch the England v Scotland match - the Jocks were sadly lacking last week. No attack.
Later on I was pleased to see Livferpool thrash Arsenal 5-1, which is fantastic as Arsenal were the leaders. I prefer it to be an open competition rather than the usual 2 horse race.
I should imagine the cricket establishment is very happy there's other sport on to take the spotlight off the unbelievably bad results in Australia.Not to mention the other tour fallout.
Rugby seasons have gone mad in the meantime, with Super Whatevernumberthey'reupto about to kick off at the same time as Six Nations is on.
Looks like France's tournament for the taking at this stage.
The brothers and I are talking about catching some superleague this Easter. The natural team to watch would be Wakefield Trinity Wildcats, as the quiet brother lives there. Also. I'd be able to see my old house. I could see half the pitch from the toilet.
Nothing sorted yet so we'll see. We might just go for a roll around Sheffield again - it was very convivial last time.
Looks like a good old fashioned southern ice storm out there today. I just stood out on my back porch watching (and listening to) Mother Nature's pruning machine roar through the pines. A half inch of ice, a little wind, and the loblolly pine trees don't stand a chance.
I've got my generator gassed up and ready to kick in for when the tree falls over the power lines, but I'm not at all prepared to lose my internet feed. I think I'd rather have wifi than heat.
Oh yes, also we've laid up a few extra six-packs.
Them Loblolly's 'bout as brittle as a toads tongue in Death Valley.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancho
I was thinking about you the other day after hearing of the mess that headed your way.
A sure fire means of get'n through sump'n like that is half 'n half Drambuie an Baileys' Irish Cream warmed in the oven just shy of bubblin.
It all worked out. Our power stayed on, which surprised the livin' bejesus out of me. I was ready to fire up the generator and invite all the neighbors over for a jump-naked party. Anyway, we wound up holed up in the house for a couple of days, memorizing jokes out of Captain Billy's Whiz Bang.
Just watching that board cross from Sochi, those women are completely bonkers! My favourite Winter Olympic sport ever, figure skating it ain't.
Ever since Franz Klammer, it's been downhill for me.
I'm not current at the moment, are you referring to snow boarding? I agree - bonkers!
That downhill run a at Sochi is pretty scary. An ex-skier now presenter went down it with a camera to show the slopes. It's really long and very steep.
I was watching the 2 man Bobsled this afternoon. That looks like fun.
I quite fancy a go at that skeleton sledging. I might not be the most aerodynamic shape, but I have plenty of mass for gravity to work with.
Yes. Bulky and unaerodynamic is what I'd put on my application form for the skeleton. I'm sure it'd be just like going down the glassy slope that was Cannonball Hill on my plastic bag. (I was sore that day).Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I think they should hold a parallel Olympics for old fat blokes who should know better. No training or anything, just a delusional belief that you are still 21 would be required.
Top Olympic athlete of all time, IMHO, Eddie The Eagle Edwards.
Agreed Mick. The middle aged games. Perhaps every competition should have a parallel tournament.
Eddie is up there with the Jamaican Bobsled team, and represents the pinnacle of what the middle aged games could achieve. At least there'd be plenty of material for those falling over programmes.
Speaking of which, I went **** over *** down at the allotment today. I was moving lengths of the plastic greenhouse when i got my foot stuck in one end and the other jammed into the ground. I'm pleased to report that I sprang up immediately just in case anyone was looking out of the windows of the houses that overlook the allotment. That's when the psychic sense kicks in and you can feel the guffaws, hoots and neighing.
**** over *** is a new one on me. I get the ****, but I cannot figure out what the *** is. It was always **** over tip that I know.
Count me in on the middle-aged Olympics!
I could do that curling business.
I'm currently drinking a beer called 'Mondo Blonde' and waiting for my 'Cowboy Burger' to be served up. I'm not much of a macho guy, but I thought I might mention this here :)
You're in the right place. I've just had a lime and strawberry flavoured cider. Strawberries in a glass. MmmmQuote:
Originally Posted by Lykren
I've heard of **** over tip but I always thought it was **** over *it. Perhaps it's local usage.
Highly appropriate!Quote:
Originally Posted by Lykren
Although you might want to double-check on the macho-ness around here. We serve Shirley Temples at the bar and there are people around here who drink chocolate stout!
It's more of a refined gentlemen's club.
Except the refined tends to refer to the booze, and the only "gentlemen" in the place is the sign at the toilet.
I wondered if that was it. I was hoping it was something naughtier, as it didn't occur to me that one would be **ed. What happens in my ornithology thread when we get to ***s? Or even boobies. (waiting to see if it escapes the censor) The blue-footed booby mating dance is one of the wonders of the animal kingdom!Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
There are quite a lot of variations, all bastardised from the original, which is: ****, being bottom, over tip, being top. Dictionaries generally list both, I see.
Somehow, down this end of the world, it became **** over kip, which I'm sure is due to all the Irish accents early on.
Phew, the blue-footed boobies are safe.
If you haven't seen it, go and check out their dancing. Harlem shake, my ****.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lykren
We like to play games too...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DiFEFL6ThRI
I'll offer up my water heater tank for the old geezer Olympics; split it down the middle and you have two bobsleds.
Mrs P had a ..... Over... Experience, t'other day. She was holding my young dog Gwen as I was penning some sheep , she was supposed to leap in and shut the gate, but when I shouted, the dog leapt in and pulled her over instead. Face down in mud of an organic origin. My encouraging cries of "get up and shut the gate
for heavens sake" did not go down well.
Probably a good thing you resisted wishing her a happy Valentine's Day at that point.
Middle-age Olympics! Count me in!
I think the first event should be the "****over*** competition," with points awarded for technical difficultly as well as style. (Although I'm still not sure what ****over*** means)
But before the first event, there should be an opening ceremony. I'm not sure what our uniform ought to be, but I'm fairly certain it will include plaid Bermuda shorts, black socks, and leather shoes.
I'm going to introduce kneesy, earsy, nosey to the office. I'll let you know how they get on. I'll probably need a bit of practice over this week before I do though.
The **** over *** competition should be very good. The slow motion replays should be worth a programme in themselves. And I like the sound of the uniform. What top though? What about a tuxedo style t-shirt with a dicky-bow print so that we look like sporty bouncers? That would suit us Mick.
Yes I think I could pull that off.
Hang on a minute. Venessa Mae is doing the skiing round poles event. What next Yehudi Menuin doing the ski jump?
Perfect.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
As for head gear, I think we should go hatless. In fact, the disposition of our middle-aged noggins could be a competition in and of itself: a medal to the man with nary a hair on his head, or a particularly thin fringe, or the effective use of a single sideburn as a comb-over, or a bad dye job, or maybe for the bloke who can no longer grow a single hair on his pate but seems to have made up for it with the ability to grow great tufts of the stuff out of his ear canals.
We're gonna need an anthem when we enter the stadium. The tune that leaps to mind is: We Are The Champions, by Queen
Not bad, but I would suggest that ensemble is better suited for the summer Olympics, synchronized lawn mowing event or possibly the Texas discus toss (dried cow patties)Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancho
I made a few attempts just before logging on, nothing earsy about it! My finger * * * * over my jolly * * *.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I hope you didn't laugh!
Oh yeah, that'll have them chortling when they see the size of the ****s over the ***s!Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancho
I think it's high time the Winter Olympics embraced ice fishing.
It could be run as a biathlon event. Instead of skiing and shooting, we'd have largest fish and fastest downing of a hip-flask of scotch after nightfall.
.........