Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

In the Old Aunties garden are buried Henry, Blackie, Blanc, Lassie and Sacha to my knowledge. There's probably more from the mists of time. My wife buried Blackie - a cat - but I had to re-bury him after he either:

1) Became undead and rose from the grave... but had left it a bit long and was in a bit of a state.

or:

2) A fox got him up as he was buried too shallow.

I kept the fox off/ kept him in his grave with a slab after his reburial.

The taties are doing great thanks. I've just got two rows to dig up. The rest are stored in bags in a cupboard. I'm pleased this year.

Well today was floor laying day. I decided to go cheap and put down vinyl tiles that are shaped like laminate flooring. They look good, keep the dust floating about for the vac, and can't be torn up by the dog. They are also very cheap.

Unfortunately, I ran out of a discontinued line, and, having checked with Mrs Paulclem, went ahead - alone - and got a different colour. Our lounge is now two tone. Mrs Paulclem has already informed me that she'll be ordering a more suitable colour off the internet to replace the contrasting light Maple tone.

So floor day will return sometime in the future. (My only consolation is that they were relatively cheap, but, being knackered, I was in no condition for the news). There's a pear cider in the cupboard.

:smilielol5:

My Dad did our front room floor with free off cuts of industrial lino he picked up from a building site. The result was an interesting fusion of different shapes and colours - sort of Mondrain meets Picasso.

I bet that was brilliant. Style and taste is overrated. I'm hoping the contrast will grow on Mrs Paulclem. I don't hold out much hope though.

No, my hopes were dashed. It has been floor day 2, and the floor of the lounge is now a maple monochrome.It looks good - clean lines - but I preferred the two tone.

I had to rip up half the vinyl I laid ysterday, and then re-lay it in one colour. I'm knackered again.

On another note, Mrs Paulclem has instituted a sticker chart for the dog. The primary aim of this is to wind up our two children, but I have pointed out that todays eccentric behaviour may result in pushing the dog around town in a pram and calling it "my baby". If it gets to that stage though, there won't be any point wearing a "I told you so" badge.

If you are lucky enough to have lived in Vegas as a young man, and been royally naked in the high-roller's suite with a bunch of babes, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Vegas is a movable feast.

Ah-hem, I may have borrowed some of that.

Paulclem you should check out Michael Leunig's cartoon Awful aspects of spring - the new dog digs up the old dog.

:lol:^

Our front field has 30 years worth of unmarked graves of beloved animals. I get very nervous when the latest is to be interred in case I dig up Don or Pod or Ginger. I don't mark the graves to discourage Mrs P from getting maudlin over a long dead guinea pig or cat.

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Originally Posted by Sancho

If you are lucky enough to have lived in Vegas as a young man, and been royally naked in the high-roller's suite with a bunch of babes, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Vegas is a movable feast.

Ah-hem, I may have borrowed some of that.

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So that's why they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

It seems alot of fuss about nothing, I mean who hasn't played naked billiards with a couple of chicks in a Vegas penthouse.?

Agreed.

Perhaps E.H. wouldn't mind too much if I add one more clause to his sentence.

... because whatever happens Vegas never stays in Vegas.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Delta40

Paulclem you should check out Michael Leunig's cartoon Awful aspects of spring - the new dog digs up the old dog.

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Excellent.

Nothing can convey the smell though.

Edit: just corrected my small to smell. Don't you just hate it when your off the cuff typed witticism is ruined by keyboard ineptness.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

...It seems alot of fuss about nothing, I mean who hasn't played naked billiards with a couple of chicks in a Vegas penthouse.?

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I have a hard time believing Sammy did, but Dino and the rest of the Pack likely participated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38GV-...eature=related

Indeed Gilliatt!

As for Harry, who's to say it's even him? I mean look at the disguise - look at the disguise, the disguise, I say - that could be anyone under the hat and shades.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/...18_634x679.jpg

That's the best disguise I've ever seen! - Who's that in the hat stood behind him?

Another cloud burst yesterday, and this time it washed away our road because of a blocked culvert. The only comfort is I now have the oppotunity to burst into the National Trust office (It's their road to maintain) full of rightous indignation and declare,"I told you so".

This is very important to a curmudgeonly old git like me

Two years ago they re-did the road and replaced the large square stone slab culvert with a plastic pipe - that was a constriction - then they managed to put it in in such a way that it only took half its full capacity. When the first downpour happened a few weeks later, I noticed this and TOLD them. They said they'd keep an eye on it. I told them again the next time, then I gave up.

So anyway I've spent this morning clearing rubble from the mouth of the pipe and filling in the gullies and removing the boulders that have appeared in the road.

The trouble is I've made it passable for the moment, so nothing will be done.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

...Two years ago they re-did the road and replaced the large square stone slab culvert with a plastic pipe - that was a constriction...

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Pie aren't squared!!


Bake 'em one of these to drive the point home:

http://www.seriouseats.com/2007/10/p...ay-pi-pie.html

.

:lol:

A half-baked one would be more fitting.

The rain finally came - just as I was planning to pop down to the allotment. Not the road destroying type, but just rain unsuitable for working the ground.

Just a week to go before I am thrust into the maelstrom that is Enrolment week. Anything can happen in Enrolment week, though the rule:

1% of the students caused 99% of the problems

generally holds true.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

The rain finally came...

...before I am thrust into the maelstrom that is Enrolment week...

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Send some of the rain our way. "Maelstrom" such a great word.

There's a thread out there about crossing the Rubicon.
This past weekend I took my son out to get some new duds for the upcoming school year.
I figured why not grab a couple pair of breeches for myself.
There was a time when my inseam number was greater than the waist line.
The Rubicon is met when they equal. I crossed the river a few years ago, but kept my distance within view of the banks, now I can't even hear the water.

As a lad I paddled in the Rubicon at 32/32
Then came marriage, and that pulled me through, (In the wrong direction)
Now alas my legs to waist do show a deficit,
I think they must've gone an' shrunk a bit.

Just got back from Heathrow. The lad's on his way to Japan. After waiting and travelling on the coach, the lad was already over the Urals by the time I got back.

A small world indeed, (as long as you're not on the M6.) Mine came back from China last night. He rang up from Schiphol at 8 and was home before midnight. Fortunately his Company will no longer allow him to have a private lift (me) to and from the airport. This is because they were sued in America by someone who crashed while running one of their employees to JFK.:rolleyes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

As a lad I paddled in the Rubicon at 32/32
Then came marriage, and that pulled me through, (In the wrong direction)
Now alas my legs to waist do show a deficit,
I think they must've gone an' shrunk a bit.

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Glorious.
We'll add it to the wall of shame behind the bar.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Just got back from Heathrow. The lad's on his way to Japan. After waiting and travelling on the coach, the lad was already over the Urals by the time I got back.

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Good luck to him, in his edeavours.

..........

Another typical saturday night at the Blokes Bar...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlNZF...eature=related


.

That was an amazing clip. That's never happened in any bar I've been in except the Bloke's bar.

The dancing, as I remember it, was more jiggy with a bit of posturing.

Whew. Just finished enrolling hundreds of people at my building and others around the city. Pretty tired now, but it's over for another year. I presume you chaps are also very busy.

Good news - England beat Moldova 5-0, and looked good on it. It doesn'tmake them worldbeaters by a long chalk, but we can qualify for the next world cup.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Good news - England beat Moldova 5-0, and looked good on it. It doesn'tmake them worldbeaters by a long chalk, but we can qualify for the next world cup.

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It comes to something when it's worth noting that we can qualify for the World Cup.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

It comes to something when it's worth noting that we can qualify for the World Cup.

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Looking at the quality players in the premiership, you can understand my concern. We've got good players, but not much morqe.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

It comes to something when it's worth noting that we can qualify for the World Cup.

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We'll take whatever we can get.

We’re experiencing a nice gentle rain this morning, perfect for reading outside among the trees by the creek.
While pausing to…

Soak up the sound of flowing water,
the dripping flipping of leaves,
a chorus of Wren’s
and black caps on Chickadees

My mind returned, like clockwork
(on days like these)
to that big footed beast
and his coat full of fleas.

Okay, enough of that.
I’ve been remiss in keeping you up to date on the TBRC.
So, let’s see what’s happening in the piney woods out east.

Excerpt from article; “The Valley of the Apes” http://texasbigfoot.com/index.php/news/news/48-news/223 :

“Over the last three years, the Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy has intensified its efforts in an area it refers to as “Area X,” located in the heart of the sparsely populated and rugged, 7-million-acre Ouachita Uplift region....”


Something relevant to the Forums; a book review on The Beast of Boggy Creek

http://texasbigfoot.com/index.php/ne...s/48-news/218:

I’m adding this to my book list after I finish Solzhenytsin (naturally).


“Your Feets Too Big”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in1eK3x1PBI

.

Will you be going on any research expeditions yourself? It sounds like fun.

I was down the allotment again this weekend. Me and the chaps have been repairing the road into the allotment with a tarmac you can buy in a bag. It's good stuff you can get from the local DIY - we have B&Q over here. I may use it to repair the Mother-In-Law's drive. It's amazing what you can learn.

I planted 150+ onions - Red Electric and White Shakespeare. I had to snigger as the white Shakespeare are "globe" onions. Some horticultural joker no doubt. I also planted some Mooli seeds. They are white radishes that grow quite long. Good for stir fries apparently. I haven't had mch luck this year, but I'll let you chaps know what they're like if they're any good.

Did any of your fruit ripen paul, ours were a dead loss. Even the wild stuff like blackberries and bilberries haven't done much. Lack of sun I suppose.

In the old days my mum used to organise us kids to go black berrying and we'd pick a tin bath full. she'd make about 40 lbs of jam and a load of pies. The rest would be turned into wine and stored in gallon plastic containers.

It all sounds wonderful, but we were sick of them by Christmas.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Did any of your fruit ripen paul, ours were a dead loss. Even the wild stuff like blackberries and bilberries haven't done much. Lack of sun I suppose.

In the old days my mum used to organise us kids to go black berrying and we'd pick a tin bath full. she'd make about 40 lbs of jam and a load of pies. The rest would be turned into wine and stored in gallon plastic containers.

It all sounds wonderful, but we were sick of them by Christmas.

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I got a few strawberries early on, but the rest has been a dead loss. Lots of people with pears and plums have said it's been a bad year. Even the blackberries haven't been too good.

I made some blackberry wine when I was student. It was really nice - the nicest wine I made.

Yup, blackberries make the best wine. Ours was stored on the top shelf in the pantry. Me and my mate used to climb up with armed with a rubber tube and suck a bit out of each container, it was delicious.

Quote Paulclem - Bigfoot expeditions
As you likely gathered, I was being facetious, but the more I joke about bigfoot and reference the TBRC, it does begin to sound like fun.
Of course, I'd likely be the one wedging bits of brown fur in tree bark, staying toward the back of the march throwing rocks into the woods at night - what was that?!


We get blackberries here as well. I haven't had them in the form of wine, but I do recall picking them and eating them with my Fruit Loops cereal and cold milk. Also good in Luck Charms.

Elderberry wine was mentioned a few times in the Hitchcock movie we watched recently. Have any of you tried the Elderberry?

I made some elderberry wine once, it was ok. There isnt much else you can do with elderberries - they are one of those things that look nicer than they taste.

We used to use the unripe hard green berries as ammo for pea shooters. You'd bite into the cluster and pull them off with your teeth, then shoot them down the hollow stem of a Himalayan Balsam plant. It was a sophisticated way of spitting at each other, as more gob than berry would be delivered..

haha. nice story.
I'm reminded of the slingshot wars we had using acorns. You can imagine the welts.

Right now, I'm pokishing off the second glass of a Chilean Cab Sawv.
pretty good

I'm more of a Merlot man, Had a nice glass or two of Australian the other day, Half went in the beef casserole so I had to drink the rest.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I'm more of a Merlot man, Had a nice glass or two of Australian the other day, Half went in the beef casserole so I had to drink the rest....

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....of the case.

I made some elderflower wine once. I left the stalks on though, and so the taste left something to be desired. I always managed to get it down in the end.

I'm afraid I'm a wine pleb. I know nothing, though I recognise the names. It might be because I invest in the cheapest if I buy any. I've taken the pearls and swine analogy to heart.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

...I always managed to get it down in the end...

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As a good bloke should-leave nothing to waste.

It has been a rough week, one deserving of a treat.

Two six packs and a bottle of Jim Beam
(click on pic for larger)


http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...ps39def32a.jpg

Your books are looking a bit "foxed" there GG.


Talking of rough weeks, its holiday time for us. We're heading for The Lakes and should arrive there at the same time as a large Atlantic depression. I mean there's rain and then there's Cumbrian Fell rain. At least we'll be getting the authentic Lakes experience.