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Many Thanks, Orion!:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Orionsbelt
Thanks, Janine:) . Fortunately, I finished it this morning-slept at 5am.Quote:
Originally Posted by Janine
I thought my Mum would kill me:lol: .
Tell me about it. I worked on it for 3 nights-I mean 3 dawns and got 2 lines.Quote:
Originally Posted by Triskele
I finished it at last, though.:alien:
Slave of the Spine
The heart of the tale lay down the spine,
his eyes, glued on the revelations,
knocking on the surface that once were flapping tides.
Spiral musings sit on every line,
Hios screeching tongue now silenced,
snapped shut by pages of lips,
bathed by sweet candlelight.
Once, he went catching silver sunlights on leather palms;
And tied songs in paperback rhyme.
But he marched a tune, once upon a time,
walked hand in hand with sunrise;
strigs of manuscripts, passages, gripped in aging hands,
watched forever unfold in his old eyes;
The immortal- Slave of the Spine.
WOW TONI! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! I loved it dear! Best work yet! :D
Congratulations on quite the success!
Just a reminder to any interested parties that tomorrow is the last day for submissions to the poetry contest. So if you have a mind to add your work to the wonderful group we've collected so far, then get scribbling. :)
Pete Seeger (Born on May 3rd 1919) and Joe Hickerson ( Born in Highland Park IL. 1935.) :DQuote:
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the young girls gone, long time passing?
Where have all the young girls gone, long time ago?
Where have all the young girls gone?
Gone for husbands everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the husbands gone, long time passing?
Where have all the husbands gone, long time ago?
Where have all the husbands gone?
Gone for soldiers everyone
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the soldiers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the soldiers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards, everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time passing?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time ago?
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Gone to flowers, everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
How do you join the poetry contest?
From the cd Songs of Conscience and Concern. :)Quote:
BECAUSE ALL MEN ARE BROTHERS
Bach/Glazer- Amrita Music Corp. ASCAP
Because all men are brothers wherever men may be
One Union shall unite us forever proud and free
No tyrant shall defeat us, no nation strike us down
All men who toil shall greet us the whole wide world around.
My brothers are all others forever hand in hand
Where chimes the bell of freedom there is my native land
My brother's fears are my fears yellow white or brown
My brother's tears are my tears the whole wide world around.
Let every voice be thunder, let every heart beat strong
Until all tyrants perish our work shall not be done
Let not our memories fail us the lost year shall be found
Let slavery's chains be broken the whole wide world around.
Gazette, you join the contest by writing an original poem about the picture the last contest winner posted. (it should be the only picture in the thread for the last few pages, so you can just find it by looking there.) Anyone can join, but the poem has to be your own work. :) Welcome!
here's mine, strange and odd, but it's all I could come up with, and it kind of suits me, being strange and odd myself. :p
Illumination
offered plain and bold
from the whetted stylus
dips the fantastical nib
into intrinsic stillness
fright ties simple
involuntary knots
inside the huddling timid,
peering ever sideways down
and never fixing forward.
As winds carve the ripening clouds
painters spill and leisured lovers drift
on waves of deepened honey
against the canvas’ pale skin they melt
unraveling inner boundaries
they reach as winged gods do reach
by urging away reality
glazing the barest page
with truth and lavish beauty.
and can I just say, rintrah, that I absolutely loved this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rintrah
Well, I have read some of these great poetry entries and been quite impressed. I had better post this since I have been working on it for awhile now. Here is my humble attempt. My first entry in the contest. Hope to enter many more times in the future. It was fun to write.
Aftermath
Banished, blank, blanched.
Anticipative eyes stare
Into pulpless white pages;
Stark stone’s potential space
Stares back – waiting.
Black type, bleached white,
No trace of inky time,
No smudge of knowledge,
All lost forevermore -
Eradication of all wisdom!
History purged away,
Kingdoms crumbled,
Goverments turned to ash,
Empires lie pulverized,
Democracy a dream.
Statue stubornly stands
Imitating man, stonecold;
Behold his empty book
World’s “past” evaporated.
Fragments locked in minds?
World with an end!
Books burned to embers,
Art’s ultimate destruction,
Rare treasures shattered;
Time, banished, left dustless.
Keepers of knowledge,
Curators of cultural realms,
How did you not notice
Arts' slow disintegration,
Dust settling mighty pyramids?
Is there no trase,
No particle or tiny cinder?
No seed to nuture us
Kindle new knowledge -
Thoughts to render fresh ink?
Where shall we begin,
Seek identity, in history's extinction?
Can one miraculous speck
Bring "past" back to blank pages;
How to begin history anew….
They weep, emersed in questions
World stands still as stopped clocks.
Knoweledge extracted and lost,
In the rubble of future's fatal hour;
Ignored we all the warnings.
Now worlds look on stone tablets,
Great minds grasp for hidden clues,
Barely recalled, we see through obscurity -
Labyrinths of history, timespan recalled
Man surfaces, past shattered truths.
Witness history’s total destruction?
Can the past be recovered;
Extracted from inward seeing minds?
Is seed born from flames;
Can dormant "time" be restored?
Man grasps at memory eternal -
For that which a few once knew,
Recalled in their humanity alone,
To steer the course of history anew,
Now glorious "hope" dawns our renewal.
Thank you Riesa. I have just read your wonderful poem, and I am deeply touched by your compliment.Quote:
Originally Posted by Riesa
Just so that everyone knows, this round of the contest is officially closed. Thanks to all who participated. You all have certainly made my job as judge a tough one. Results will be posted by the end of tomorrow (that's tomorrow, U.S. central time). :)
To supply my Italian hunger, Petrarch, what does your Italian signature mean? I can't do 1+1 on this one. Hehe, I'm not an accomplished translator yet. :p
Everyone's are marvelous!
Lain, how sweet of you to say that. There sure were a lot of entries. Can't wait to see the winner and the next neat photo to write the poem to.
Toni, I see your all nighter payed off. Wonderful work and more than two brilliant lines! Glad you completed it. Will say more after the contest ends. Good work, Toni!
Maybe not the best but here it is;
Why is it that we live, what is our motive? Do we only exist to live and breathe, and then leave? Or is there some sort of divine entity in us, and when will we cross over the mortal line and become beings that cannot be harmed by the disappearing time.
I hate time zones :( I have to go to bed without reading the winning poem.
hey guys. what's the new pic and who was the winner?
tfm
Petrarch has her work cut out for here - there were so many good entries this time. Be patient. She said we would get a winner today. Will be interesting to see the new photo, I agree.Quote:
Originally Posted by thefemalemind
Just to feed the suspense, because everyone's expecting my next post to be the contest winner, I'm going to answer Lain's question first.:p
Lain--My signature is the opening lines from the first sonnet of Petrarch's Canzoniere, also known as the Rime Sparse because of this opening line. It translates roughly as "in scattered rimes the sound/ Of those sighs with which I fed the heart/ In my first youthful error." Here's a link to the whole poem with translation: http://petrarch.petersadlon.com/canzoniere.htmlQuote:
To supply my Italian hunger, Petrarch, what does your Italian signature mean? I can't do 1+1 on this one. Hehe, I'm not an accomplished translator yet.
And now, having got my students' papers graded, I've had a chance to finish agonizing over the winner of this contest (no easy task). First a few comments to each:
dramasnot (“The Bibliophile”)—I think all we readers can identify with desperately seeking that desired book and then getting lost in it when it’s found (why is it that the book you want always seems to be at the top of the library shelf, so you have to get one of those little step stools and…I digress). Nice rhyme, and I like some of your phrases: “armed with sight,” and your “1,000 page angel.”
Pendragon (“The Open Book”)—Another sonnet from the maestro. I like the idea of the pages being blank so that each person reads his or her own truth into them, just like life. I especially liked the final couplet.
mir (untitled)—Good rhyming poem. I like the line “deify the daily grind,” and the call to not just read but to write at the end of the poem.
Triskele (“Challenge of Word”)—Very nice. The words have a strong sound and a natural flow. These lines particularly stood out to me:
I like the contrast of the smooth curve of the lines with the rough deeds and history that they record. Good ending too.Quote:
growls and screams of rage echo across worlds
decades of gnarled growth, shattered by the ink
smooth curves and dots fight the red stains of blood
who now dares to stand, neath the tall blank book
Neil Thomas (“Swell of Spring’s Night Sweet Sadness”)—A nicely written poem with a lyrical lilt to it, but I’m not sure how it connects with the picture for this round of the contest. Maybe you just didn’t know how this thread works? We write on a different picture each week.
Will Press (“Mercury Rises”)—Very nice poem, with an even meter, and a strong sound. Your penultimate line, “Men free to rise or free to sink,” reminds me of the line in Paradise Lost: “Sufficient to have stood though free to fall” (P.L. 3.99). Were you consciously channeling Milton, or was that by chance?
Lil Stras (“Truth”)—A nice prosy poetry. I like these lines especially:
Pensive (Untitled)—I like the story you’ve imagined behind the creation of a book. Love the repeated line at the end. It really brings together with an emotional impact.Quote:
paint this blank canvas full.
Of dark and bright and in between,
colors that make a beautiful world.
thevintagepiper (untitled)—I like the rhythm of your short lines and your use of anaphora. My favorite part is the end, though:
Quote:
Or perhaps what he shows
Is merely the flyleaf
Of some great and
Beautiful work.
Orionsbelt (untitled)—Beautiful rhythm to this one, and I liked the theme of divine inspiration. I love the phrase “Midwived by thunder,” and I like the ending question, “How shall we call you?” Nice.
Barneythebear (“Music that Speaks with Accents)—A very nice love poem, but I don’t think it goes with the contest picture. All the same, I like the way you handle the music conceit. Parts of it sound like imitation of old love poems, like those by Donne.
Virgil (“The Point of Hinge”)—This is an interesting one. I like the sense of the eternal pivot, the points on which the book and the world hinge. The last line feels like a bit of a non sequiter, but in a delightfully absurd and fascinating way.
Susan Sonnen (Untitled)—I like the simple delight of this one. It has an understated charm about it. I like the inviting imperative of the final line.
rintrah (Untitled)—An elegant, lyrical narrative. It’s like a combination of a real world story about storytelling, and a mystic vision. I love the whole stanza with the “ocean” of books, especially these lines:
and the ending brings us back wonderfully to the connection between the poetry and the prose, so to speak.Quote:
Floating folios spewing their ink onto the gravel
Mixing the tide-spill with hushed voices and dead thoughts
Thought no more by dead men
toni (”Slave of the Spine”)—Some really interesting descriptions here. I like the “revelations,/ knocking on the surface that once were flapping tides,” and the “pages of lips.” The ending has an almost fairtale-like quality to it, especially the final line “The immortal—Slave of the Spine.” Glad you finished it in time to submit.
Riesa (Untitled)—As always your words have a graceful and distinctive sound to them. I think my favorite stanza is the third one:
Beautiful. The only thing that bugged me was in the second stanza where you never seem to find an object for the following:Quote:
As winds carve the ripening clouds
painters spill and leisured lovers drift
on waves of deepened honey
against the canvas’ pale skin they melt
unraveling inner boundaries
Maybe it’s just the English teacher in me, but I kept wondering what was huddling, timid, peering etc. Overall I enjoyed it though.Quote:
inside the huddling timid,
peering ever sideways down
and never fixing forward.
Janine (Aftermath)—I’m glad you slipped this one in at the last minute, Janine (almost literally the midnight hour I think), since I enjoyed reading it. Lots of interesting ideas coming out here. I think I like the first stanza the best for its alliteration and description.
And now you’re all wondering who won. As you can see from the list above, there were quite a number of entries this round. All of the writers are undoubtedly talented and I was really torn between some when making a decision. So many wonderful poems, how is one to choose?! That said, I’ve decided in favor of Rintrah’s poem:
Congrats Rintrah, and we’ll look forward to seeing the picture you select for the next round. :)Quote:
I walked up on some bright evening
The sounds of the village in my ears,
Voices prickling with the intensity
Of old men, making good their promise
To not go gently into the night,
The hush of the heavens above my head
A few arrayed stars marking out
The bounds of men, the faint
Glistening edge of the sun
Making the presence of the world
Seem thin and narrow, a squinted
Place, an awkward squinted place
And I drew in the air, clearing my
Head, and I thought of the man
Who once told me that the last
Thing the world needs is another book,
he, trim-framed and arrogant,
Placing himself as a the solution to
His own pointless problem
And I thought of the volumes and pages
That dot the sky like stars, endless, seemingly
Like an ocean of men’s ideas and women’s thoughts
The crashing of waves, clusters of cloistered keepsakes
Bookends washing up on the shore by the harbour,
Floating folios spewing their ink onto the gravel
Mixing the tide-spill with hushed voices and dead thoughts
Thought no more by dead men
And I wondered if there was just one book, only one
A drawstring that pulls us in, makes us fit.
I sat up there for some time, and said
It's just one book, its all one book.
I made my way back down, stumbling in the
Evening light, hearing the men again talking
Their way through life, laughing at old Evans
When he lost his way home and slept in Geraint's
Shed, they slapped their legs and the
Table and howled, and I said, I think you
should write that down.
Congratulations Rintrah! It's lovely. I love how it has quite a story in it...
I feel very honoured! Thank you. I haven't written poetry for some time and this thread has got me going again. I was not envious of Petrarch's job judging this round, and now here I am!
I'll have the next image up soon . . .
Here goes . . . hopefully not too many groans on this one. I thought it would be interesting how everyone responds to some form of human interaction . . . I look forward to reading everyone's entries.
Taking into account how the thread has developed shall we set the closing date for this in three weeks from now - that means this round will end close of day 6th March, results to be posted by 8th March.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/85/22...3ba8bbf9_b.jpg
Congratulations, rintrah! I truly did enjoy yours, such a smooth poem, excellent lines:
and great story. I think Petrarch's decision was a sound one, not to say I didn't enjoy all of the contributions!Quote:
Making the presence of the world
Seem thin and narrow, a squinted
Place, an awkward squinted place
Thanks, Petrarch, for your kind comments, and just so you know, the huddling timid are all the people at the feet of the book-holder. :D
Very good poem, Rintrah. Congratulations. I particulaly liked this passage:
"edge of the sun," "the presence of the world," "an awkward squinted place," wonderful imagery and phrasing.Quote:
... the faint
Glistening edge of the sun
Making the presence of the world
Seem thin and narrow, a squinted
Place, an awkward squinted place
And I drew in the air, clearing my
Head, and I thought of the man
Who once told me that the last
Thing the world needs is another book
Kudos to Petrarch. This was probably the hardest of all our competitions to judge, not only in the quality of the poems, but the quantity too.
Hey Riesa, you're up early.
Hey Virg! Yeah, I'm getting used to early rising, part of getting old, I guess. :D Asleep by 10, awake by 5. good lord, what has happened to me.
Rintrah, your poem is wonderful! I love the flow of thought... Congratulations!
Thank you all! Your comments and feedback are very much appreciated.
@virgil, you are certainly right, kudos to petrarch indeed.
Very nice poem, congradulatios, Rintrah! http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/sportlich/a040.gif And Petra, thank you for your comments! Mastero! Ah, shucks! :blush:
Sorry. I had an inspiration from the past...
Stairway Proposal
She listens in wonder to the tale that he spins—
As they sit all alone on the stairs.
With gesticulation he measures out words,
To describe what he is trying to make her understand.
Thinking maybe this will be the right time…
She’s cloaked her eyes behind darkened lens—
Hoping that he won’t see into her soul.
She hears all the words as if from a distance,
Far greater than the one that keeps them apart:
Watching and waiting for something…
He still talks of roads taken, of places he’s been—
The things that he’s done and he’s seen.
Then as his hands form a small circle,
He looks straight into her heart:
And talks about how he’d like to share it all with her…
In half disbelief, she leans her head over—
And she returns his look with one of her own.
How did he get past her barriers so easily?
But there is a smile on her face as she looks in his eyes.
And a nod of acceptance, she gets up and meets him halfway…
Pendragon
© 2/13/07
now I like that, Pendragon!!
Riesa, I think I am older than you and that rule does not hold true of me. If I stay up any later I will just have to not go to bed at all and then maybe I can reverse my silly schedule.Quote:
Originally Posted by Riesa
Yes, I agree with everyone. Petrarch had a tough job and did a fine one - I like the way she commented on each poem - very professional and well critiqued.
Petrarch - in Eastern time my poem says I posted it 10:14 PM. It must have been the time difference. I did sneak in just in time. I was not happy with my poem, but decided to make a first effort; had to break the ice someway. It was then or never. Thanks for your kind comments. I look forward to trying the next one. Should be fun.
Congratulations, Rintrah! I liked you poem and the great idea behind it. How true it is! I especially like the lines that Virgil pointed out and quoted in his post. :thumbs_up
Interesting new photo. Yes, interaction "live" sure is nice. This one should be fun to write about.
To everyone else - great poems! Nice to see so many this time around. Hope the flow continues. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virgil
Thanks, both of you. It was indeed hard to choose a winner, though it was such a pleasure to get to read and comment on all the poems.:)Quote:
Petrarch had a tough job and did a fine one - I like the way she commented on each poem - very professional and well critiqued.
Rintrah--Nice picture. I'll have to give it some though. It'll be fun to get to write a poem again this round. :)
Thanks a lot for the time (and for having a reason to suspense the people :lol:) The message is nice. :thumbs_upQuote:
Originally Posted by Petrarch's Love
Althought Toni didn't win, I'm sure she'll be happy you gave it interest. :)
Interesting photo...hmmm...I like it! I had to go through an anonymous websurf to get to it though, cause flickr is blocked here :(Quote:
Originally Posted by rintrah
I'll be back! :)
Sorry to hear you had problems, vintagepiper. If anyone has any difficulty seeing the image just let me know. It is my image, and I can email it. Glad it is provoking some thought . . .