Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

And just to get off the subject of football, I was reading a great piece yesterday on "swinger" clubs, which was all news to me.

Apparently, Auckland has enough swinger clubs to tempt Tiger out of rehab.

Aside from the thought that, as a prospect, group sex had as little appeal as a fortnight of rotovirus, one very funny thing did come out of the "expert comments".

The bloke was saying that many marital problems start as a result of some bloke talking his Mrs into trying group/partner swap sex.

The biggest one was the woman suddenly realising what she was missing out on at home!

:lol:

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

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Note the girly thread, languishing alone on page three of the titles, not having been posted in since 24/1.

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They are clearly going through a difficult period. :)

:lol:

Poor things!

***It's ok, sound, we count you as kind of an honorary bloke!***

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Is it not worth watching on iplayer? I missed all the matches. Don't you think it's so much better since they've given in and gone professional? Lads like us from League land would be able to play with the toffs. :biggrinjester:

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They're bigger fitter and stronger now but lack the flair of yesteryear. Even the french are playing the percentages. John-Paul Rives must be spinning in his chateau.

I'd iplayer the Superleague Show instead, Wakey had a tight game against the Frenchies today.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

:lol:

Poor things!

***It's ok, sound, we count you as kind of an honorary bloke!***

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Wait a minute Atheist, Soundo has still to stand trial yet, remember her J*** D******S moment. How do you know she is not going to turn us in and start blethering about knitted matinee jackets and babies ? The quicker you get the committee up and running the better. We live in dangerous times, and I am getting worried. :skep:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

They're bigger fitter and stronger now but lack the flair of yesteryear. Even the french are playing the percentages. John-Paul Rives must be spinning in his chateau.

I'd iplayer the Superleague Show instead, Wakey had a tight game against the Frenchies today.

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O.K. Mick, you had to drag it out of me, the frogs beat us, end of story. :(

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

They're bigger fitter and stronger now but lack the flair of yesteryear.

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Isn't that the worst thing of all? The athlete are more athletic, but they play a horrible hybrid game nobody;s managed to write the rules for coherently yet.

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Originally Posted by jocky

Wait a minute Atheist, Soundo has still to stand trial yet, remember her J*** D******S moment. How do you know she is not going to turn us in and start blethering about knitted matinee jackets and babies ? The quicker you get the committee up and running the better. We live in dangerous times, and I am getting worried. :skep:

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Should we convene a jury? How many black balls do we have?

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Originally Posted by jocky

O.K. Mick, you had to drag it out of me, the frogs beat us, end of story. :(

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You needed to have a bunch of Kiwis to remind Bastaretard about his antics over here to put him off his game.

But look on the bright side, England won!

Oh, that's not really a bright side, is it?

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

And just to get off the subject of football, I was reading a great piece yesterday on "swinger" clubs, which was all news to me.
Apparently, Auckland has enough swinger clubs to tempt Tiger out of rehab.

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Did you see the women Tiger talked into sleeping with him:out: they all had great :ciappa: IQ's; I heard he told them he was Baracks younger brother:iamwithstupid:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

The Superbowl here goes on until 4 o'clock am. I'd like to watch, but work beckons - can't you organise it so that it fits in with my half term holiday next time?:biggrinjester:

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We'll take up your request at the next commencement of the "Swingers Club minutes" :party:

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Originally Posted by jocky

We in Scotland are great fans of superbowl, in fact, our favourite saying is get the quarterback. The Jocky shackhold is all prepared for the event. I will be wearing my genuine snakeskin boots and ten gallon hat. The wife has whipped up the gaucamole and fiery pumpkin dips, followed by the jerk wings from hell and the chicken quesidilla pinwheels. The choice of beer was problematic, I was toying with going with the budweiser, but decided that was a concession to American culture I could not make, so I am sticking with the tennents. Soundo you better get a move on if you are going to be in time to lead out the cheerleaders. Oh when the saints go marching in.....:banana:

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Despite the sounds from your pipes after that gastronomical fair; I doubt that Mrs. Jocky will be able to resist you in your sankeskin boots and hat. Be sure to use that line from Smokey and the Bandit, I only take off my hat for one thing:ihih:

Please, no Bud, even Americans only drink that when their on the skids. I'll buy all the blokes some good beer as soon as I get my cut from the saints...Yeah, they know it was me in my cheerleader outfit that won the game...:ack2: :prrr::frown2::nono:

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

:lol:

Poor things!

***It's ok, sound, we count you as kind of an honorary bloke!***

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I'm touched and relieved. I was just overwhelmed on the girls thread; I couldn't figure out how to cut and paste purses on the web page...You can't be an honorary girl unless you can cut and paste:willy_nilly:

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Originally Posted by jocky

Wait a minute Atheist, Soundo has still to stand trial yet, remember her J*** D******S moment. How do you know she is not going to turn us in and start blethering about knitted matinee jackets and babies ? The quicker you get the committee up and running the better. We live in dangerous times, and I am getting worried. :skep:

(

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No worries, Jocky. Only one thing on this womens mind at the moment:
I keep noticing that the football players are wet on the inside of their legs after a game; tonight, I noticed that all of that extra padding they wear was sagging on one or two of the gents....
So, tell me, do football players wear diapers during the game:confused:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Did you see the women Tiger talked into sleeping with him:out: they all had great :ciappa: IQ's; I heard he told them he was Baracks younger brother:iamwithstupid:

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:lol:

I always figured celebrity-chasers were intelligent.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

No worries, Jocky. Only one thing on this womens mind at the moment:
I keep noticing that the football players are wet on the inside of their legs after a game; tonight, I noticed that all of that extra padding they wear was sagging on one or two of the gents....
So, tell me, do football players wear diapers during the game:confused:

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That's clearly an American thing - they wear all sorts of peculiar padding. It wouldn't surprise me if they wore trusses.

Rugby players go on the field with a jersey, shorts and mouthguard.

Some wear underpants as well.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

:lol:

I always figured celebrity-chasers were intelligent.



That's clearly an American thing - they wear all sorts of peculiar padding. It wouldn't surprise me if they wore trusses.

Rugby players go on the field with a jersey, shorts and mouthguard.

Some wear underpants as well.

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Well, they're no doubt tougher than the American Lads; after all, in the states we have toilets in every shop, on every floor...one tackle after a bacon double cheeseburger and it's all over:ack2:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

The Superbowl here goes on until 4 o'clock am. I'd like to watch, but work beckons - can't you organise it so that it fits in with my half term holiday next time?:biggrinjester:

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Next year, Paulclem, you will have a guest teacher taking over you classes for a few days, so you can get in shape and timing to be awake for Betty White and Abe Vigoda doing a Snookers commercial. Mars company is not in the picture, however, when you begin the fund raising effort to actually get me there to replace you. I suggest sales of boxes of Cadbury, the ones with caramel inside. the second purchase will be New Zealand, but you'd better get a good grip (purchase) on it. Hershey's isn't out of the picture yet. T'would be nice to visit another country outside of the canoe trip I did.

I fear I'll avoid the "brevity is brother (bother) of brilliance" supposedly stated by George Steinbrenner, owner of the (cough) NY Yankees.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Is it not worth watching on iplayer? I missed all the matches. Don't you think it's so much better since they've given in and gone professional? Lads like us from League land would be able to play with the toffs. :biggrinjester:

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toffs=professionals (people paid payola for performance)?

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Note the girly thread, languishing alone on page three of the titles, not having been posted in since 24/1.

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I don't think I'll even note that.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

:lol:
***It's ok, sound, we count you as kind of an honorary bloke!***

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She's honorable-I'll say that.

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Originally Posted by jocky

O.K. Mick, you had to drag it out of me, the frogs beat us, end of story. :(

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frogs? six nations?

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Should we convene a jury? How many black balls do we have?

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Don't you mean blue balls?

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

sankeskin:

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I hope that's not Sanka, decaf instant coffee. Jocky has skin on his snake? I always figured him for a raw man who doesn't need a shield on his hood, else he's in bed with the wrong woman.

Glad The Who performed decently. Guitar could've been louder, and Roger could've been able to scream like the old days, but such is naught.

My mom wouldn't let me go to Fargo ND to see Herman's Hermits in the summer of '69, stating that I was too young. The Who was just the back-up band in the days of smashing everything to bits when they were done playing with their toys. Guess they stole the show then.

Party in New Orleans won't end until Easter; to hell with Lent!!!!

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

Glad The Who performed decently. Guitar could've been louder, and Roger could've been able to scream like the old days, but such is naught.

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I can't quite get my head around all these old acts touring.

Even Fleetwood Mac are touring.

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Originally Posted by gbrekken

I hope that's not Sanka, decaf instant coffee. Jocky has skin on his snake? I always figured him for a raw man who doesn't need a shield on his hood, else he's in bed with the wrong woman.
Glad The Who performed decently. Guitar could've been louder, and Roger could've been able to scream like the old days, but such is naught.

My mom wouldn't let me go to Fargo ND to see Herman's Hermits in the summer of '69, stating that I was too young. The Who was just the back-up band in the days of smashing everything to bits when they were done playing with their toys. Guess they stole the show then.

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I've asked Jocky to loan me those snakeskin boots to go with my little leather outfit when I go to the next Who concert. This time, I hear they're going to play it like all the stars did in the old days: via record. Yep, We'll be "Seeing them, hearing them...and after the show...touching them and feeling them...:party:

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

I can't quite get my head around all these old acts touring.

Even Fleetwood Mac are touring.

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It always really makes me sad to see all of my idols aging like I am; and I hate hearing my favorite songs going down an octave or those back up girls singing all the high notes..:bigear::nopity:

We'll take up your request at the next commencement of the "Swingers Club minutes" - Soundof...

Merci... or do I mean mercy....:biggrinjester:

Next year, Paulclem, you will have a guest teacher taking over you classes for a few days, so you can get in shape and timing to be awake for Betty White and Abe Vigoda doing a Snookers commercial. Mars company is not in the picture, however, when you begin the fund raising effort to actually get me there to replace you. I suggest sales of boxes of Cadbury, the ones with caramel inside. the second purchase will be New Zealand, but you'd better get a good grip (purchase) on it. Hershey's isn't out of the picture yet. T'would be nice to visit another country outside of the canoe trip I did.

Thanks gbrekken - they might have a proper teacher for a while.

Do you want paying in chocolate? We have plenty of pound shops here - enough to fill any chocoholic's desire. Pound shops? Do you have dollar shops?

Here goes my best Gbrekken impersonation:

Olivier and Gelguid are gargantuan in the cinematic world, while Martin bullies Oscar for recognition. Meanwhile, back in the sunshine state, a Tiger lurks in the woods, pursuing Barack’s better half at a therapeutic pancake shop. In the meantime, Frankenstein is up at 4:00 am in the Big Easy sitting in an empty coffee shop, where no boys are allowed, watching a game that uses a rugby ball that has been on the South Beach diet. A forlorn Jocky sits in a super bowl polishing snakeskin boots with a corner of his kilt wondering if Mick, a Cadbury connoisseur, will bring his quarter back.

Lindsey Buckingham is eating a big Mac while riding in Stevie’s Fleetwood. Outside the car, he hears the Sound of Music that turns out to be the Saint’s marching in.

This is followed by the eternal question…. “Who’s Next ?”

It'll never do...better leave it to the master.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I've asked Jocky to loan me those snakeskin boots to go with my little leather outfit when I go to the next Who concert.

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GRRRRR!

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

It always really makes me sad to see all of my idols aging like I am;

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Meatloaf is the worst. I loved that man.

Then I heard him sing recently. What a lifetime of debauchery does to a voice...