pirates always hate garbage
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pirates always hate garbage
Ah, garbage....The curb seems so much farther when it's -30 outside :cold: .
Oh no. I've just read an article that has shattered my macho side. Men putting on face cream. Ee-gads!! :eek: :eek: Here guys, read for yourself:
You can read it here, from the Toronto Sun, http://torontosun.com/News/OtherNews...69759-sun.htmlQuote:
Not long ago, men who put cream on their faces would be called names; now they sit in the bar exchanging beauty tips
By MIKE STROBEL
"What the heck is that?" says the other side of the bed.
She is peering at my neck.
What? What?! Holy cow, what?
"I think it's a wattle."
"A what?
"A wattle."And she goes back to reading a book with a pirate on the cover. The pirate is shirtless. And wattle-less.
Women can be so cruel when you are 50.
So I dream of roosters and wattles and wrinkles and wake up in a cold sweat only to read that some dame is on Mick Jagger's case, too.
Sir Mick, 63 and prune-like, has taken to caviar face cream to counter all those years of depravity.
L'Wren Scott, his girlfriend, is said to be delighted. Lucky for Mick. L'Wren, 39, is a 6-foot-4 Mormon with hard eyes.
Bandmate Keith Richards, 62, has been given a gift of the protein-rich cream. And a trowel, I hope.
Then I read where Consumer Reports says even the best anti-aging creams reduce the depth of wrinkles by less than 10%, barely noticeable.
The $20 creams work as well (or as poorly) as $400 creams.
What's a wrinkly wretch to do?
When in doubt, I always turn to jowly Jimmy Buffett.
And wrinkles only go where the smiles have been" UNKNOWN_ENTITY_¦
Or where the sun don't shine.
Some folks swear by Preparation H to shrink wrinkles.
The Canadian version is especially popular, even in the States, since it also contains a yeast extract to soothe skin.
My ***. Why bother?
Why are we men dragged into the whole Nivea nightmare?
Why has the men's lotions and potions industry doubled in the past decade?
Why is men's cosmetic surgery outpacing women's?
Why are "gentle exfoliants" for women re-emerging as "face scrubs" for men?
Vanity, thy name is man?
Forget it, boys.
'NOT A FACELIFT PERSON'
Let's worship the ground Robert Redford ambles upon.
Watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, then take a gander at him now. Wattles to his knees and women still swoon.
"I'm not a facelift person," he tells TV Guide. "I am what I am.
"The trade-off is that something of your soul in your face goes away. You end up looking body-snatched.
"That's just my view. It's not necessarily a popular view."
No, sad to say. And, ahem, let's not mention that miraculous blonde mane.
While we're at it, look at Butch, look at Paul Newman. Crinkly as rice paper, yet hot as a pistol at 81.
Or Gordon Pinsent. That dimple has disappeared in his chin, yet there he is starring in a new movie with Julie Christie, the sexiest woman who ever lived.
Nor have wrinkles hurt Gordon Lightfoot or Neil Young, Sean Connery or Donald Sutherland,
So why the pressure on us regular jowly joes?
"Ageism," says Dave Lackie, editor of Cosmetics Magazine.
"Men who look younger, more vibrant are getting the leg up for promotions over men who look older.
"And we're starting to see objectification of men in advertising. Men with that six-pack look."
Hey, I have a six-pack. Where my stomach should be.
"Not that kind. I mean well-defined abs."
And there's the Baby Boom, now in its gnarly years.
"From the neck down they're 60, but from the neck up they see themselves as 30. Then they look in the mirror."
This tragedy strikes later for men. Our thicker, oilier, hairier skin protects us for a while.
Lackie, 39, is a La Roche-Posay cream man, but he says a good sunscreen is your best ticket to the fountain of youth.
Smoking, drinking, stress, eating too much, pollution, squinting, dust and many other things turn you into a raisin.
Life, in other words.
"There is much to be said for aging gracefully," says Lackie.
You can get a facelift or botox, but that requires upkeep and you might look like Phyllis Diller.
Earthier remedies include emu oil, egg whites, seedless grapes and crushed pearls.
Or, try this: Never, ever smile.
Your face will stay smooth as a baby's bum.
Of course, you will have no friends, to bask in your glow.
What's a wattle or two, just among us chickens?
Mike Strobel's column runs daily, Wednesday to Saturday
Now tell the truth guys, any of you put on face cream? :p
Only when I played Hobo Bo, the Clown! :lol:
O.O
any pictures???????? :lol:
I'll dig it out, scan it, and try to post it. I think I have a couple! :lol:
Ooh, this should be interesting! :D
Well, if theres one thing guys can do well, it's pick-up lines! Anyways I just had to share my Christmas shopping cheer. I left the store laughing at myself. Anyways, I walked into the movie store, and the girl at the front greeted me and smiled, than I went and started looking at some movies, and she came over and asked if I needed help, and I always the gentleman calmly stated I could use her telephone number. We both laughed :lol: and I capped off a terrible day with a happy ending :D .
Nicely done, TEND, most impressive! Pendragon, where's your clapping smilie?
I assume that means she gave it to you. :thumbs_up That is great. Now that still means you should be a gentleman on a date as well. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by TEND
Congrats TEND! :D You should give her a tour of your wonderful music collection:brow:
nice! :D
best pickup lines ever:
pirate pick-up: do you keep your pirate here (put hand on person's closest shoulder) or HERE (put arm around person to other shoulder)
and . . . the other one i'm not saying on the forum. :lol: (it's not that bad. i'm just naiive/ very :blush:! :) )
but great job, TEND!! hee hee, have fun! :p
A favorite of mine goes something like this,
You say: Hey, do you know how heavy a polar bear is?
They say: I don't know.
You say: Heavy enough to break the ice, hi I'm TEND. :D
And that works? :lol: Where have I been? :lol: I guess the simplicity of it might actually get points. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by TEND
Wow. TEND sure knows a lot of pick-up lines, that actually work!
Congrats on that one, TEND.
This one I saw on tv yesterday:
Guy: Are your eyes hurting you?
Girl: (confused) No, why?
Guy: Because your eyes are killing me!
(woz that lame?)
Tend ,the girl likes you:banana:>>>run run!
I would respond "No, pick up lines like that are whats gonna get you killed.":lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by toni
Wow, that would certainly freak someone out :lol: .Quote:
Originally Posted by dramasnot6
No, following up with "Start running" would freak someone out.
Here: http://www.clicksmilies.com/ Go to Usersmiles. It is under Fool's House. That skull is from here: http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles.htm You can find almost anything here: http://www.smileyville.net/index.php http://1000smilies.com/spiderman.gif Came from here: http://www.smiling-faces.com/php/mor...id=25&catid=34Quote:
Originally Posted by RobinHood3000
These smileys are great Pen! Thanks!:D :thumbs_up
Yah,Pen's smilies are always especial:Ddunno from where he gets them!
wow links I dont have alookie a special smilie for me Ive been looking for one of these for AGES!
http://1000smilies.com/muslim.gif
do you get curb crawlers?Quote:
Originally Posted by Shannanigan
on a different note: do you guys (and I mean the guys, not the girls) put on cologne/perfume (whatever the stuff men us is called) and which do you use?
I like sniffing perfumes at the drug store (yeah, I know it's a sad hobby), but I don't like most of the women's perfumes because they smell too sweet and tacky.
I sometimes put on "Escada Sentiment pour homme". It's for guys but it could be unisex and my bf says it doesn't smell as typically 'male' as most other perfumes for men.
yeah, I know it's diky but I really don't like any womens perfumes except Mexx and the pour femme Sentiment doesn't smell a single bit like the pour homme
http://pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/87921/200.jpg
ooh I know what you mean its like the Hugo Boss is soo much nicer than the hugo women. ( its just too flowery.)
ive never been able to bring myself to buy perfume. With regular showering and deoderant i dont see the point...
I use cologne, not every day mind you! :D I've a few different ones actually, and put on whichever fits my mood/activity for the day. :)
really??
well I suppose nice smelling cologne is better than sweaty ichy smelling people.....:idea:*thinks of the advert and the forum crush thread* dont tell me you wear lynx:rolleyes: :p
Nope, I use another deodorant to deal with the sweaty smellyness. Lynx (or AXE) is ewww icky ewww. The eau de toillete is just an extra fragrance. I have a Hugo Boss, Armani and Lacoste eau de toillete. :)
On an average day, I just use after shave lotion. But if it's a special event or a special night out, I will use cologne.Quote:
Originally Posted by SleepyWitch
I have somethng as a gift which I don't recall what, but I don't buy anything special. I buy this:
http://fcsurplus.ca/wild/images/670118.jpg
But then I don't have to impress someone as particular as Sleepywitch. :D
When my dog rolls around in...."dirt" in the park, i say she has put on her Ode de Merde. This too has put me off perfume.
Huh My dad used to use old spice when I was little.... :nod: I tried mixing all his differat colougnes and my mums and after shave and water mouth wash tothe paste and shampoo once then I added water and froze it .... I was 6 and thought I was inventing the greatest perfume in the world... didnt work though
:rolleyes: :lol:
Old English, Old Spice, and Brute are my favorites, but I usually get the cheap store knock-offs of brand names. http://www.cosgan.de/images/kao/verschiedene/h050.gif Oh, and these are here: http://www.cosgan.de/smilie.php?wahl=0&ziel=froehlich english translator in upper right corner, and three types of smiles!
I have that link its really good:nod:.... but pen can you go look at the Brain teaser and see if we are right???
Yup, can do. http://1000smilies.com/muslim.gif
hehe, who said I'm particular? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Virgil
Aimus, I'm glad to learn you call it AXE up there, too. I've always wondered why it's called LYNX in England. Isn't a lynx a cat with pointy ears? Why would anyone like to smell like that?
Yep! A lynx: http://www.eparks.org/images/lynx-nps-isle-royal.jpg
I was always close to all big cats, even as a kid, and once was nicknamed "Wildcat" for my fighting style. Strangely, when I drew the cat, it was always a cougar: http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pictures/cougar.jpg. This is my spirit guide. :)
i like all kinds of (big) cats, too, Pen... but would you really like to smell like one? I mean, in general, cats are very clean.. but then, when you go to the zoo there's this sign where the tigers live: "Caution, animals spray urine." :sick:
on the other foot, AXE (what we call it) doesn't sound too trustworthy in English either :)
we also call "Sure" Rexona.
hum, I'll go to the drugstore at the weekend and sniff Uncle Pen's and Uncle Virgil's nice avuncular "old men's" colognes :p
heh pickup lines here is one that never fails...Quote:
Originally Posted by dramasnot6
"hey baby, those must be moon pants, cause your butt is outta this world!"
...to get ye slapped. :D
but for cologne, I use this aftershave thing.
:lol: Definite slap-worthy pick-up line Stanislaw. Im hoping youve never actually used that one :p